ANOTHER UPDATE! :D Why? Because I have nothing better to do.

I'm writing this while waiting for my pizza and chips to be cooked, and my stomach keeps growling at me every few minutes. Favourite types of pizza anyone? Mine is spicy meat feast with extra pork, though I wouldn't say no a triple cheese one either.

Enjoy!

My Immortal – A Very English Commentary

Chapter Five – Confessions of a Goffaholic

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! (No, it just means we have an appreciation of the English language.) Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! (I doubt he'd actually care that much about what his students do in their spare time.) PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

(We're going to be here a looooooong time then.)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX – (Seems like she's decided to stick with this one after all.)

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. ( I am now henceforth making it my life's ambition to yell this at someone while dressed as Dumbles.)

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. (I fail to see the biology of this actually being possible, even if Enoby IS a vampire.) Draco comforted me. (No he didn't. He went back to being canon and laughed at you.) When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. (I read that in his voice. It was funny.)

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. (Tara, how do you come up with these insults? They're fantastic!)

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

(Ugh, mine eyes doth burn!)

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

(I'll have to loudly declare my love for Enoby next time I'm in trouble…)

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us. (Pretty sure the Slytherin Dorms are underneath the castle, but never mind.)

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. (Draco does NOTHING gently. To ANYONE.)

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. (You wear heels to bed? Guess I'm not goffik enough for that.) When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. (That is…actually kind of insulting. Enoby is supposed to be a vampire, so she's technically classed as a member of the Undead.)

I was so flattered (Oh, I wish love.), even though he wasn't supposed to be there. (He's a boy, he wouldn't be able to get into the girls dorm.) We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Well, at least there wasn't any horrible smut this chapter. We should be thankful for that at least.