Lee was stunned by Amanda's confession that she hadn't been honest with the boys or herself concerning her feelings towards Joe. He strode several feet away from her, raked his hand through his hair and swallowed hard.

"Do you…ahh…are you trying to tell me that you still love Joe?"

"No, I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to scare you." Amanda rushed over to Lee and put her hands on his chest. He stepped back slightly while continuing to listen to what she was saying. "I love you," she reassured him, "that hasn't changed since I left your place this morning."

"I'm confused, if you aren't telling me that you realized that you still love Joe, how have your feelings for him changed? What have you been lying to yourself and the boys about?"

"While I was talking to Mother about you, I was aware that I was annoyed about the way that Joe has been behaving since he came back but I didn't realize that I'd been angry at him for a long time. That didn't occur to me until I talked to the boys this morning. I hadn't planned to talk to them this morning but Mother told me that they were confused by the way I walked out on Joe last night so I went up to their room to speak to them. I knocked on their door and asked if I could come in; the moment I heard Phillip's response I knew there was a problem.

"We're both dressed so you can come in if you really want to."

"Good morning, Fellas. Phillip, why would I have asked if I could come in if I didn't actually want to?" Jamie was stretched out on his bed staring at the ceiling and Phillip scuffed his foot against the floor before he answered his mother.

"Maybe you're here because Grandma told you that you should talk to us?"

"Your grandma did tell me that you were both confused by what happened last night but I still wanted to come wish you a happy new year."

"You weren't interested in celebrating New Year's with us last night," Jamie accused while still staring at the ceiling.

"Jamie, in this family we try to look at each other when we are having a conversation. Please sit up." He sat up but the petulant expression on his face remained in place. "I think the three of us need to have a serious talk."

"What about Grandma? When we have a major family talk Grandma is always included," Jamie questioned as Phillip plopped down on the bed next to him.

"Your Grandma and I already had a long talk; this conversation is just for the three of us. I'm sorry if I gave you guys the impression that I didn't want to celebrate New Year's Eve with you…I wanted to and I had planned to." Amanda sat down on Phillip's bed so that she'd be facing the two boys on the other bed.

"Yesterday morning Grandma reminded us about our family tradition of starting a new year with the people we love the most. She said that Dad was coming for dinner…we thought that maybe…" Phillip left his sentence unfinished.

"Did you think that if we all celebrated together last night there might be a chance that your dad and I would get back together? Is that what you were hoping for?"

"Dad and Grandma have been making it sound like a possibility. If that's what you want…I guess it would be nice to be a whole family again…I hardly remember what it was like before Dad left," Phillip said wistfully.

"It's been you, Grandma and us for as long as I remember but if having Dad back would make you happy it's okay with me," Jamie added.

"What makes you think that I want to remarry your dad? Have I done something to give you that idea," Amanda asked as she tried desperately to answer the latter question in her own mind.

"You seem to be happy that he's back and you've been encouraging us to get to know him…better than we did in the past," Phillip replied casually.
"And then there are other reasons too," Jamie added. The expression on his face suggested that he had plenty of thoughts on the subject but he wasn't sure that he wanted to say what he was thinking.

"Jamie, please tell me what you're thinking, it's very important for us to talk about this."

"Well, most of my friends who have divorced parents see them argue sometimes but you and Dad never do. He abandoned us to pursue his own dreams and you don't seem the least bit angry at him. I figured I shouldn't be angry at Dad if you weren't angry at him for leaving you but I've been growing up without a dad…and I'm angry."

"Me, too," Phillip added. "You and Grandma are great, we love you both, but sometimes a guy wants to have a dad around. He could have been here; he just didn't want to. Why aren't you angry at him too?" Amanda looked at her sons as she contemplated their hurt and angry comments. She found that she wanted to both scream and cry but this wasn't the right time for either. Amanda got up, walked across the room and sat down between her sons.

"I'm so sorry," she began as she put an arm around both boys, "I am angry at your father; I didn't realize how much until just now. I haven't wanted to be like your friends' moms who say negative things about their dads. I didn't want my feelings about him to prevent you boys from having the best relationship with your dad that you possibly can. I guess I've been burying my anger for so long that I forgot that it was there until-"

"Until last night. What happened between you and Dad," Phillip probed.

"When I got home, your dad was waiting for me in the kitchen; he started to ask me about some of the things that I was doing. He was being so…"

"Judgmental," Jamie volunteered.

"Good choice of words; I always know when you've been doing your vocabulary homework. Your dad kept pushing me but I didn't want to get into a fight with him so I left."

"Dad said that you went to visit a man. We didn't know what to think," Phillip said as he looked at Amanda questioningly.

Before she could reply Jamie added, "Since he came back Dad has been asking us if you date a lot? He asked about Dean. He wanted to know if you introduced us to any men lately. I think, maybe, we should have told you what he was asking."

"You didn't do anything wrong; he shouldn't have been asking you those questions. I'm going to make sure that in the future your dad comes to me with his questions about who I'm seeing. I met a man a couple of years ago and I've come to care about him a great deal; I'd like to tell you about him."

"I told the boys a little bit about you and I promised them that they could meet you soon," Amanda told Lee. "Joe had promised to spend today with them and I encouraged them to stick to the plan while they work through their feelings for him. He is their father and I still believe that they can grow close over time."

"You never cease to amaze me; you're an incredible lady." Lee kissed Amanda tenderly; the love he felt for her shone from his eyes. "After all he's put you through you're still trying to preserve his relationship with the boys."

"I'm not doing it for Joe…I believe he can be a good father and I intend to make it clear to him that is what I expect of him. For the boys' sake and my own I plan to listen to my heart from now on." Amanda placed her face against Lee's chest and he tightened his arms around her. After a quick knock at the door, Rita poked her head into the kitchen.

"Amanda, your mother just arrived and she's looking for you." Lee let go of Amanda as they exchanged a worried glance at each other.