Meanwhile at the catacombs River was walking slowly through the halls. She's already passed dozens of traps and only god know how many were still ahead of her. Church always was a little bit crazy about their secrets. She wasn't sure if leaving Doctor with Sophie inside TARDIS was good idea but for now it has to be enough. There was something strange about that child. But in a good way. Or so she thought. Finally she came to stop. Boxes in front of her were sign that she was in the right place. She opened the one containing head of Maldovar.
-Hello Dorium.
- Professor Song. I must say I'm surprised. For a while I was sure that this body is lost forever. And that would be shame – it's a good body.
-Charming like always but unfortunately I don't have time for flirting today. So down to business. Something strange happened. I'm not sure if you are aware of that but I left The Library with help of our mutual friends – the Monks. Recently I meet a girl. A girl who believes she met me in different body and saw me disappear along with that body. Tell me, how was that possible?
- Well, you' ve taken your soul back so the body it was inside at the moment disappeared because it was no longer needed. I presume.
- But how? How could I have been there?! And besides bodies don't 'pull Houdini' just because.
-You really want to know? I warn you, you might regret it.
- Oh just tell me already!
Time Lords leave behind them a trace. It's like a small hole in a reality. You aren't full one. You never was. So it was impossible for you to leave trace like that. You couldn't make it whole. It ran away it the universe. Tinny pieces of you trough time and space. They started to connect with other souls. The weak ones. Souls that can be pushed outside their bodies eventually. From what I know, you've been doing it for ages. There was never body good enough, strong enough to contain you. They always vanished when you worn them out. You were too powerful for them. More than human can bear. And don't give me that look, I didn't made that up.
-That sounds crazy! How could you possibly know what I was? What I was apparently doing?
- Well my dear this is hardly the first time you came to me with your little dilemma. From tinny pieces you told me, I' ve been able to make a whole story. And what exclusive story that is. The story of the most deadly parasite in the universe.
-You can't be right. I was in CAL's world the whole time. I can't be at two places at once!
-I'm not sure how to tell you that. Perhaps this will settle it all. You inside computer was just saved memory of that woman. Not a real person at all…
She couldn't listen to that anymore so she run back to the TARDIS. She followed the humming sound of the ship matrix because her eyes were full of tears. He can't be right. He just can't. She was real. She felt real even it that world. She always was and will be River Song. She WAS Melody Pond and he couldn't take that from her. Not like that.
"You aren't real. You never was. You were an echo. Digital information. You shouldn't have left Library. You- the 'saved' you – become real when it connected itself with the soul of REAL River Song. Soul that's been running across the universe for centuries. But now think about something. Does it feel like you are real if you know that you weren't from the beginning?
She entered the ship, and then stormed through old oak door that fortunately appeared in the corridor. TARDIS moved her room here. She closed them after her and collapsed on her knees. And let tears freely flew down her checks. He can't be right. She would have remembered, right? She tried to calm down and focus on her memories. They should be here if anything really happened. Right there. She felt something strange and TARDIS was trying to stop her but she pushed on that improper part of her mind. And then it was like something have been broken. All the felling and memories entered her mind and once. Every second of the life her souls had been living all that time. Everyone she met. Everyone she hurt. All of this was slowly making its way to the surface of her mind. All that pain. All that sorrow. It was suffocating.
Her vision was changing. Once sharp and then fuzzy. She heard clear voices then just thuds. Thousands of screams. Thousands of whispers. Her state was impossible and only somebody who can answer 'yes' to oncoming question, can say they understand what she felt at that moment. So dear reader.
Have you ever founded yourself balancing on the edge of reality hopping that somebody in this horrid big cold universe loves you enough to catch you?