A Sense of Purpose
Chapter 6: Intentional loopholes
It was getting late; the sun had already disappeared behind the treetops. Very soon, Master Shifu would come to check her result. Tigress sighed weakly. She hadn't moved an inch ever since her fellow Masters had abandoned her."Man, he's late..." Po's voice made her ear twitch. "Market's already closed, so what's taking him?" She heard him coming towards the stairs. Another moment, and... "Whoa! Tigress?!"
Great, Tigress thought and sighed again. "What," she muttered quietly, not even bothering to look up at him.
"What happened here?" the Panda asked, turning this way and that to take in the entire scene. "Was there a fight? What're those apples doing here? Are you injured?"
"Po."
"Was it Tai Lung? I swear, if he attacked you instead of getting that leek from the market, I'll-"
"Po."
"...yes?"
"Shut up, please..."
Po shifted his weight uncomfortably for a few seconds before leaning down into her field of view. "What happened?"
"That's... that's not important," Tigress whispered, trying to avoid his eyes. The only thing that matters is what's going to happen at sunset. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine the scene. I bet Shifu is going to assemble everyone. And then... then he'll hold one of his special speeches where he points out just how much someone screwed up. Urgh, he loves those speeches. And it'll be all about me. Then, once he's done humiliating me in front of the people who once respected me, he'll throw me out. "Damn him..." Her claws sprang free. Not if I can help it! You want to ruin my life, Shifu? Well, you may succeed, but I'm not going to give you this extra satisfaction!
"Who or what are you talking about?"
"Nothing," she replied, giving him a determined look now. "Po? I need you to do me a favor."
"Sure... I guess..." The panda was frowning lightly, and Tigress was certain that he was questioning her sanity.
"Go to my room and pack my bags. Just my clothes and maybe some food. Then bring them here as soon as possible."
Po opened his mouth to reply, and Tigress opened hers to cut off his protest. Neither of them got further than the first word before a third voice joined in. "Po..."
Tigress turned her head to look down the stairs and bared her fangs. Great. Just what I needed to make my misery complete. Him.
"Po, Po, Po..." Tai Lung slowly came up the stairs, wearing his hooded cape and carrying a large bag on his back. "You have a lot to learn when it comes to women."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Po and Tigress asked simultaneously.
The snow leopard chuckled before addressing the Dragon Warrior again. "Women will sometimes ask you for one thing even though they actually need something completely different." He now gave her a meaningful look which quickly turned into a light frown. "For example, Tigress asked for her bags, but what she actually needs is the first aid kit. Would you be so kind, please?"
Po looked at him, then down at her, as if asking if it was all right. "Fine," Tigress finally sighed. "Get the first aid kit, please." She paused briefly. "Oh, and Po!" she shouted after him. "Don't tell anybody anything about this, okay?" The last thing I need is Viper or Monkey making this scene even more complicated or awkward...
"Nice guy, really," Tai Lung commented once Po was gone. "Bit on the clumsy side, but he means well."
"What do you want?" Tigress hissed wearily.
"Hey, what's with the sudden attitude change, Stripey?"
...Stripey? "What's with your know-it-all attitude?" she shot back, trying to look as intimidating as possible. Which, given her injured and prone state, was fairly hard.
"Got the first aid kit!" Po shouted, almost stumbling down the stairs.
"He's fast," Tai Lung whispered and gave her a surprised look.
"Hardly," Tigress muttered. "Since he started training here, we got a few more kits and placed them at all training sites, including the courtyard."
"Thanks, Po, I'll handle it from here," Tai Lung addressed the panda and smiled. Po again looked at Tigress for permission and gave him the first aid kit when she just rolled her eyes. "Oh, and before you go, here's your leek. Sorry it took me so long." Tai Lung reached into his bag and took out a small bundle.
"It's about time, dinner's running late!"
"Nah, we won't get dinner before the test ends," the snow leopard remarked quietly when Po had run back to the kitchen.
He knows. Tigress paled under her fur. He knows about this test! She jumped to her feet. "WHO TOLD YOUAGHHHHHHHH!" She hit the ground hard, clutching her left ankle. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"Here you go."
Tigress blinked. The pain of suddenly having put half her weight on her sprained ankle slowly ebbed away, and she shook her head to focus on the object that was seemingly hovering in front of her face now. "...peach?" she finally asked and hesitatingly took it out of his hand.
"Don't worry, it's from the market. Not stolen from the Sacred Peach Tree of Wisdom." He winked. "For a change."
After hesitating for a few moments, she took a bite out of the small fruit and rolled onto her back with a loud sigh before holding up her foot for him. The snow leopard sat down a few steps lower than her and eased her leg onto his. Ignoring her silent hisses, he gently probed the swollen ankle. "Mh, should be fine with just a bandage and some cooling salve. You're going to need a cane for a few days, though." Tai Lung picked up the necessary items and started to work.
"You know, don't you?"
"Mh?" he asked as he spread some of the salve on a few bandages. "Oh, you mean about Shifu's Apple Test? Sure."
"Why did he tell only you? Viper and Crane didn't seem to know anything about it..." She groaned quietly when he placed the cold bandages on her ankle.
"I assume you're lying here thanks to those two, then?"
"Yeah. I fought Crane and... and I went overboard. Broke his wing. Which in turn made Viper snap. She's the one who threw the basket down the stairs, too." She sighed deeply. "Neither of them knew about the test, though. So why did Master Shifu tell you about it?"
"Oh, he didn't tell me. I just saw you racing up and down those stairs, carrying an apple at a time and growing more irritated with each round trip. Reminded me of all the times I had to take that stupid test."
"You..." Tigress blinked. "He made you do this, too?"
"Sure," he replied and shrugged. "Kinda surprised he never did this to you guys before, actually. Then again, you considered running away from home just because you're about to fail, so maybe he just figured that you're a sore loser and-"
"What are you talking about?"
Tai Lung frowned lightly and gave her a look before finishing the bandaging. "What did Shifu tell you?" He offered her a hand and pulled her onto her feet, letting her hold on to his shoulder to put the weight off her injured ankle. As he started to lead her up the stairs, he picked up the empty basket.
She gritted her teeth and tried to ignore the fact that she had to rely on the guy who - in her view - had gotten her into this mess. Then again, here I am, discussing things with him as... well... a fellow student who had to endure Master Shifu's often weird training methods? Is that why the others accepted him so readily? Because they can relate to him in some way? Tigress frowned lightly, then sighed. Interesting insight, but it came too late. "Master Shifu is going to throw me out of the temple."
He gave her a wide-eyed stare. "He what?"
Why is he looking so... afraid? He's going to stay! It's me who will be thrown out! This makes no sense. Why would he be close to some sort of panic because of my fate? Sympathy? Solidarity? She rubbed her forehead with her free hand. "He's going to exile me. Didn't he do that with you?"
"Well, obviously not!" Tai Lung exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "I mean, hello? Favorite student ever until he tried to attack his Master?"
"Maybe you passed it!" Tigress also started gesturing. "After all, you're the guy who mastered all of the thousand scrolls!"
He laughed, and for a moment, Tigress was back on the bridge: It was the same laugh he had given her when she had attempted to bluff him into thinking that she was the Dragon Warrior. "No. I never passed that test. Took it four times, but always with relatively light punishment. You know, stuff like polishing all spikes in the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors with a cloth barely larger than my pinky."
"So it's really just an excuse to inflict punishment," she muttered and dug her claws into his shoulder, making him wince slightly. "An impossible test; who'd have thought he'd play dirty like that?"
"It's actually not impossible, I think," Tai Lung suddenly mused.
"We both tried, we both failed." They had reached the top of the stairs, and Tigress sat down on the first step. Tai Lung placed the basket between them and sat down, too. His - still remarkably full - bag ended up behind him, and he leaned back against it. She crossed her arms and looked down the stairs. "I think that, aside from Master Shifu, nobody here can match either of us in terms of stamina or speed, so if we couldn't do it, it is impossible."
Tai Lung chuckled quietly, ignoring her glare. "Yeah, that's what I always thought, too. That it's a matter of being fast and lasting long." He gave her a look. "And you're right - it's impossible to fill the basket that way. Nobody has that sort of endurance. You manage a few, but after a while, you-"
"You just said it's not impossible!" Tigress snapped and leaned heavily on the now empty basket, her bared fangs just inches away from his face.
He gave her an understanding smile, looking a lot like a teacher addressing a young student. "Tell me the rules again."
Do you honestly think I won't kill you? Just because I didn't have the energy or the will to kill you a few minutes ago doesn't mean that you can be all smug and mysterious like that! A few non-hostile words do not make you my buddy! She huffed. "Don't move the basket, never carry more than one apple, a dropped apple has to be discarded."
"See?"
"No, I don't," she hissed.
"And neither did I. But watching you today, I think I got the idea. It's a lesson." He frowned as he looked into the distance. "And I think it's a pretty bad sign that he feels the need to teach you this lesson."
"Are you sure Shifu was your Master?" Tigress groaned and rolled her eyes. "You sound a lot more like Master Oogay right now."
"Nah, I'm just being a tease, Stripey." His snickering turned into a strangled gasp when her paw locked itself around his throat. "NOT AN ENDURANCE TEST!"
She let go again and frowned. "What do you mean by that? What else would it be?"
"You and I both got enough strength, speed and endurance to fight off a small army, and Master Shifu knows that. It makes little sense to test that, just like we don't feel the need to test Crane's flying." Tai Lung smoothed the fur around his throat again. "No. The Apple Test is about intelligence and pride."
So I'm a proud idiot then? "Explain."
"Think about it." He shrugged. "What's your goal?"
"To fill the basket with apples."
"And where do you get the apples from?"
"From the market." Her tail twitched, and she was awfully close to losing her temper again.
"Did he tell you to run down those stairs, buy a single apple, run back up and put the apple in the basket?"
"Yes, he did!" she shouted, scratching the sides of the basket with her claws.
He shook his head. "No, he didn't."
"...what?"
"Shifu did the same routine with me every time. He told me to fill the basket with apples and that I can buy apples on the market. Then he gave me money and explained the rules."
Tigress briefly considered beating him up with the basket. "Yes. AND?"
The snow leopard gave her a long look. "Mh. I guess this is how Master Shifu must've felt all these times." He sighed. "You're not supposed to go to market. You're not supposed to buy apples. You're not supposed to run up and down these stairs all day long." When Tigress just stared, he sighed again. "You're supposed to ask somebody else to buy the apples for you."
She blinked. Once. Twice. "...what?"
"All those rules apply to the one taking the test, period. For example, you didn't break the first rule, even though the basket moved. Viper threw it down, I carried it up." He shrugged. "You could have asked any of your friends to go to the market and buy a basket full of apples for you. Just like I could have asked any merchant to deliver a basket to the temple. Then, the entire test would have been reduced to taking an apple from one basket and placing it in the other one. You could have been done within an hour."
Tigress opened her mouth to reply, to tell him that he was wrong, but she couldn't bring out a single word. He is right, she finally realized. He is actually right. I could have asked Crane, Viper... or even Po. In fact, Master Shifu explicitly told me that Po would be there if I needed anything!
"I figure you're a bit like me there," Tai Lung whispered. "Strong and independent, right?"
"Yeah," Tigress replied quietly, staring down at the basket. "Strong, independent... and banished."
"Hey now... I'm not banished!" he told her and chuckled. Then he gently patted her head. "And neither are you."
"I will be in, what, half an hour? Maybe less?"
Tai Lung slowly got to his feet again and started to shake the dirt from his pants. "That's still more than enough time to fill a basket with apples, even when you do it one by one."
"The market's closed." She sighed deeply. "Thanks for the lesson, but it was too little, too late. Besides, even if it was still open, who could I send right now? My friends hate me. So who is left? You?"
"Aw, I'm sure your friends don't hate you. They'd understand if you explained the stakes of this test to them. Though it'd take time, I guess." He paused briefly. "And while you could ask me, I'd refuse, even if the market was still open."
She gave him a dark look. Yeah, big surprise there. Guess that he really is glad to get rid of me. So all this talk about the lesson and his insight... was that just teasing?
"Oh, come on, now!" Tai Lung defended himself and raised his hands. "I just came from the market and had to carry this heavy bag all the way up here! I'm exhausted!" He stretched theatrically. "And now I have to explain Po why I felt the need to buy a ton of apples for no good reason! He's going to be mad! Can't you see how I'm already inconvenienced enough?"
Tigress rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're a poor, poor kitty ca-" She froze. Did he just say... apples? Her eyes widened, and she finally gave the bag a closer look. It has the right size... but... did he actually...?
He smiled warmly when she looked up at him. "I'll make sure that Shifu won't bother you for another half hour or so." Then, without waiting for her reply, he turned around and walked towards the buildings, leaving the bag full of apples behind.