Chapter 7
His sorrow quickly turned to anger, and his only outlet was the Varoonyan army.
While the men probably wouldn't cross the road to save Amyr, they would follow Taeron into the darkest corners of the netherworld to fight, and they did the latter with enthusiasm. After the last of the Varoonyan ships cleared the planet, Taeron was eager to follow, but he first sent word to the palace that he was taking his warriors to Varoonya to avenge the death of their crown prince. Before leaving, Taeron needed to be assured of the well-being of the emperor's daughter and grandchild, so the queen's consort, Balak along with his son, Prince Avar, brought Chaela to them. Holding her infant son close, Chaela wept and clung to Taeron, but he could not spend much time with her if he hoped to keep the Varoonyans from implementing a defensive strategy. Chaela did not blame Taeron even though he richly deserved it, and all he could do to make any sort of amends would be to punish the Varoonyans.
So after the brief meeting to be assured that Chaela had not suffered, Taeron and his men surged onto the transports to chase to the Varoonyans all the way to their home planet. Once there, they found a desolate world where the inhabitants were willing and eager to aid an enemy force that would deliver them from the degradation forced on them by the Varoonyan rulers. The tortured people lived like animals, many incarcerated in pens and cages, and when the Calabrians freed them, they followed their liberators into battle with primitive farming implements and sharpened sticks. His army swelled into a forced that swept over the planet like a tidal wave, rolling over the mindless red-eyed blood thralls who rushed to their deaths at the command of their masters.
Taeron lost track of time as he fought like a man possessed, working himself harder each day so that he could fall on his back and sleep without dreams of his dead prince. But no amount of killing as he wielded the sword of the crown prince could wipe away the guilt he felt for his role in Amyr's death. Despite the victories and the subsequent defeat of the entire Varoonyan army by the forces he led, Taeron could not stop blaming himself for not being there to protect Amyr when he needed him. Not even the final blow that killed Prince Rangyar of Varoonya, freeing many thousands that he had enthralled could ease Taeron's conscience.
At the conclusion of the war, Taeron made the trip back to Calabria where he was mortified to be greeted with cheers in the streets of the imperial city for his victories. Upon reaching the palace, he found the emperor waiting on the landing above the plaza, Lord Duo and Lady Larya on either side of him. Taeron expected to be castigated for returning to Calabria without the crown prince, but he was shocked when Trey conferred upon him the title of warlord. As the people crowding the plaza below the palace cheered ecstatically, Trey put his hand on Taeron's shoulder and told him to come to the private chambers of the imperial family. He then left him with his parents, and after his father hugged him, his mother threw herself against him and as her tears soaked his tunic held her in his arms.
Taeron could not believe the honor he had been given after he had failed Amyr so miserably, and he was bothered that no one remarked upon his failure. As they entered the palace and headed towards the private wing where the emperor lived with his family, Taeron's father told him about the memorial for Amyr that he had missed. Saddened that he had not been on Calabria to join in the sharing of memories of the man he had grown up with and who was like a brother to him, Taeron was further dismayed to learn that Quynn had not returned to Calabria. Nor had she gone back to the human solar system. There were tears in his father's eyes when he spoke of Quynn, especially when he told Taeron that they had held a private memorial for his sister. Taeron blamed himself for her death as well. He had made so many bad choices and two people he loved were gone because of them.
His parents escorted him to the emperor's chambers, but they left him to speak privately with them. Taeron had not had the time to consider how he would face the emperor and his wife, and when he stepped inside the suite in which he had grown up with Amyr and the emperor's other children, he was slammed by grief. Memories of his childhood came back to him from everywhere he looked and his heart ached terribly. All his life he had yearned to be Amyr's imperial guard, to be for Amyr what his father had been to Trey, and he had felt such joy the day he had given Amyr his oath. His duty had been to protect Amyr, a duty that he had performed many times and yet he had shirked that duty at a time when he should have been most diligent.
The emperor and his wife were standing by the window, the emperor's head bent to touch that of his wife. Looking away from their intimate moment, Taeron noticed that their children were not there, not even Staefyn.
Realizing he was there, Trey raised his head and turned to Taeron who moved forward, and trembling with emotion, he dropped to a knee before the emperor. He brought out Amyr's sword to hold up in his hands in offering and when he heard Amyr's mother catch her breath on a sob, tears sprang to his own eyes. Despite his faults, Amyr's parents had loved him, and because of Taeron, they would never see him again.
Taeron bowed his head and raised the sword to the emperor. "I am sorry, my lord, that I have failed you." He could barely say the words, his throat was so tight and he was shaking with the effort not to weep before he could express his shame.
Trey sighed deeply before speaking. "If you had been in the battle that took my son's life, I might accept your apology. Darlac sent a detailed report of what had happened three years ago when my son was killed."
Three years! Surely so much time had not passed! Taeron had no conscious memory of the passing days spent fighting in countless battles, and then the many months of hunting down Varoonyan warlords, of nights that he often fell onto the hard ground to be tortured by nightmares of how Amyr must have died. He could not understand why the gods allowed him to live and had taken the son of their favored emperor.
Trey took the sword from his hand. "I know it must have been difficult to do your duty after what happened with your sister."
"I did not ignore my duties apurpose!" denied Taeron. He was horrified that Trey could believe he would put what happened between Amyr and Quynn before his duty to Calabria. He was distressed that the only father he had known for most of his life would even think it.
"I would never believe such a thing of you, Taeron," Trey said softly. "But the rancor between you and my son had surely affected your relationship."
There was nothing Taeron could say to explain his behavior when he did not even understand it himself. Perhaps the emperor was right and that he had reacted to how Amyr had dishonored his sister without consciously realizing it.
Trey turned to his wife and he placed their son's weapon in her hands, the weapon had once been his own, that he had given to the woman he loved. She had presented it to their son and he had died with it clutched in his hand.
Dropping her gaze to the sword, she suddenly started, and then her amber gaze rose to her husband's face. "Our son has not died ignobly," she said calmly and Taeron wondered if she used her Guerani senses to determine how he had died. Taeron wanted her to tell them more, but he dared not ask. He did not have a right to know.
To his surprise, she held out the sword to Taeron who hesitated before he took it back. "Keep this blade with you, Taeron. You have wielded it well to honor my son."
Taeron did not want to take the sword of the crown prince, but the gift from Amyr's mother was another great honor that he could not refuse. "I will hold the sword to remind me always of what I have failed to do. When you wish to present it to Staefyn, I will return it to you."
He was surprised that Arora gave him a tremulous smile. "Staefyn is not destined to hold this sword, Taeron. One day you will know what to do with it."
After a curious glance at his wife following her cryptic remark, Trey looked back at Taeron. "Visit your families," he suggested. "Then you will return to Varoonya where you will serve as military commander until such time that a government can be formed. Once that has happened, I expect you to honor the agreement I have made with Queen Neria of Teralon."
"Agreement?" Taeron had heard nothing of an agreement that concerned him.
Trey smiled grimly at him. "When Varoonya is put to order, you will to return to Teralon to take her daughter and heir, Princess Dijana, as your wife."
Wife?
"She has requested our finest warlord for her daughter, and there is no doubt in my mind that you are that man."
Taeron could not believe that he was to wed a princess, the heir to Teralon. What could he say? "Yes, my lord." This was yet another honor for an undeserving bastard who had failed in his oath-sworn duty.
Lady Arora put her hand on his cheek and he felt a peace wash over him from her Guerani magic. "You are not at fault for what happened Taeron. The young make mistakes. We have all made them. We grow by learning from them and getting past them and not letting them become obstacles in our lives."
Her words as well as her touch gave him more comfort than he had felt since the moment he had stood over the charred remains of her son.
After making arrangements to leave for Dagmaeus on which he would stay with his mother before going to Ulfynaeus to spend time with his father for several days, Taeron went to visit his brother who was busy in the imperial archive. The room where his brother did his work abutted the storehouse of scrolls that had been written for many centuries by the scribes that had come before him. When he entered the office, he saw that Stryfe was bent over brittle old parchments that his brother explained were Guerani scrolls found in the hills. He was transcribing ancient texts that contained a written record of the magic using people. Lady Arora was very interested in the history of her ancestors and Stryfe divided his time translating them into modern Calabrian and teaching her the ancient tongue of her people. But he was content now to put aside his work to welcome Taeron with a hug.
Although Taeron was sure that Stryfe wanted to hear any details Taeron could tell him about his years at war leading to his elevation in rank, his brother avoided speaking of Teralon and Varoonya. Instead, he told him about their family, of how busy his parents were in raising a couple of rambunctious children that often had his father cursing in exasperation. He also gave him news of Taeron's mother who had not had the time to do more than welcome him home. She would accompany him back to Dagmaeus after the suns were at equal distance. Now Taeron learned that although Lord Apolo had wished to fill his house again with his daughters after raising many infants he had rescued from exposure in the Wastelands, Larya recently gave him a son to join the two daughters they already had and Apolo was extremely proud.
"I have been pressured daily to choose a wife, but I am far too busy to devote time to any one woman." He smiled slyly at Taeron who guessed what amused him. "I understand that you will soon be married to Princess Dijana of Teralon."
"So I am told," grumbled Taeron. He was not ready for a wife either. Since that night on Teralon, females could not be further from his mind. "The emperor expects me to begin my house when I have settled problems on Varoonya."
His mind strayed to Varoonya where he had left Darlac in command when he had been summoned back to Calabria. Rangyar was gone and there were no Varoonyan lords of his family to take his throne. His closest relative was his sister, Princess Cydeara, but the female was the wife of Rangyar's cruelest and most powerful warlord, Kai, and since she refused to divulge his whereabouts, and as she was detained at the palace under guard, the warlord remained a threat to the stability of the planet.
"You should be more enthusiastic about your nuptials." Stryfe rifled through the scrolls piled on his desk. "I have tried to gather information about your princess from the ambassador from Teralon, but the man has little to say. Did you have a chance to meet the princess when you were on Teralon?"
"There was no time to socialize," Taeron told him. As he remembered the brief meeting with the queen's consort, Balak, Taeron thought of Chaela and how she had clung to him as she wept for her brother. Now he wondered if there had been another reason for her reluctance to release him upon his departure, but since she had remained on Teralon with her husband and child, he realized that he had no reason to be suspicious. She had only been feeling the same grief that Taeron was feeling even now.
"The consort did not bring his daughter," he told Stryfe. If he had been thinking clearly, he would have realized that Balak had been just shy of rude to the commander of the army that had liberated his planet. Avar had been tight-lipped and sullen as he stood rigidly beside his father. Taeron had never liked Avar because of his behavior when he had come to Calabria. He had dishonored Chaela, gotten her with his child and then tried, unsuccessfully, to wed her sister, Shamara. Taeron had even asked the emperor for the honor of fighting Avar in Prince Dagan's place as his champion when the prince from Bayman had to duel the winged warrior for the woman he loved. Thinking back to the brief encounter with the royal family, Taeron supposed they had a reason to be inhospitable when the battle for their liberation had dragged out over several days when they had initially been so close to running off the Varoonyans.
Stryfe pursed his lips for a moment and then he said, "That is too bad because the ambassador either he doesn't know much about her or he does not want to reveal anything about Queen Neria's daughter, so I have thoroughly questioned his staff. She has been reported by one as fair-haired and another as dark-haired. She either has a sweet disposition or she is a nettlesome female that balks at her father's dictates."
"I cannot imagine waking each day with such a mercurial woman," said Taeron. He didn't deserve a sweet and loving wife anyway. He didn't deserve to begin his house. Amyr was dead and it was his fault for not being there to protect him.
"At least she won't be boring." Stryfe chuckled and then his smile faded. "You may have your hands full with that one."
Taeron did not want to have his hands full with any female let alone a winged virago that had to be hidden away in a palace lest a possible suitor be put off by her.
A knock at the door interrupted them, and Stryfe stepped into the hall for a moment. When he returned he was frowning as he read a paper in his hand.
Taeron raised a brow. "Problems?" What kind of problems could a scribe have? Were their problems with his ink supply?
Without answering, Stryfe set aside the message and left Taeron in his workroom as he went into the archive where there were many round cases stacked on shelves that reached the high ceiling. Each case was labeled on the end with symbols Taeron could not understand even if he could see them clearly. The coding was something only the imperial scribe understood, and it seemed to help Stryfe find what he was looking for. He pulled out a case, and opening it, he withdrew a rolled parchment that was bound with the blue and red ribbons that signified the scroll had been accepted by the emperor. Strye pulled off the ribbons to set aside when he returned to Taeron and he unrolled the parchment to the writing which had been elaborately decorated.
"I have received a request from Lady Arora to change the wording of the account of her son's death in battle."
Staring at the scroll Stryfe had laid out, Taeron wondered what had been written about the prince's derelict imperial guard. That he was frivolous and incompetent? That instead of being at the side of his prince in battle he was behaving dishonorably with Teralonian strumpets? And would he be allowed to read the account that Lady Arora wished written about Amyr's death?
Stryfe seemed to read his mind. "I know you believe otherwise, Taeron, but you were not at fault for what happened to Amyr. According to Darlac's testimony, Amyr instigated the last attack by the Varoonyans. While you were otherwise distracted, he gathered up men already tired from the day's fighting and forced them to begin the offensive without you when they were not ready and with no planning. Unfortunately, his men were outnumbered because Meridon's men would not follow him into battle, and when they fell back, the Varoonyans counterattacked the Calabrian camp."
Taeron had never known those details. He had assumed that Amyr had been killed in a surprise Varoonyan assault. "Amyr attacked them? Why would he do such a thing?" But Taeron knew the answer to that question already. Amyr needed to prove himself, and Taeron had provided him with the opportunity.
Stryfe rolled up the beautiful scroll and handed it Taeron. "I have as many details as possible that returning soldiers could give me. Perhaps you will gain some peace and forgive yourself when you read what they reported."
"You are giving this to me?" Taeron was surprised.
"I have to rewrite it." Stryfe shrugged. "I suppose it is wishful thinking, but Lady Arora wants me to change any mention of Amyr's death to a reference of disappearance."
"I saw his body," said Taeron. "He was holding his sword. No one would dare to take the crown prince's sword. It is the sword which has slain many emperors."
Stryfe nodded to the sword. "Then it is a great honor that the empress has given you the sword."
Remembering her comment about Staefyn, Taeron told Stryfe about it. Stryfe did not seem surprised. "Upon learning of Amyr's death, the emperor proclaimed Staefyn the crown prince, but Staefyn has proven as ill-suited to the position as Amyr."
Taeron frowned as a disquieting feeling came to him as they discussed Staefyn. He was not sure where it had come from, but it was gone instantly as if it had not been there at all. "Staefyn received imperial training and is qualified to lead the men." Staefyn had trained with Taeron and performed more than adequately. He had certainly achieved more success than Amyr had with the instructors.
"Staefyn seems to prefer spending time in the sacred hills where he has overseen the building of Guerani Palace. He comes to the imperial city immediately when summoned, and he is ever solicitous to his parents, but Trey confessed to me that he feels a distance has developed between them."
"Perhaps his duties have overwhelmed him," Taeron suggested.
"Perhaps," agreed Stryfe with a distracted murmur, his gaze roving to the parchment he had abandoned. He looked back at Taeron. "Two years ago when Trey accepted the agreement with Queen Neria, he asked Staefyn if he would wed the princess and he refused, claiming the imperial warlords would prefer that the crown prince take a Calabrian mate."
"Has Staefyn taken a mate?" Taeron thought of the female that had interested Staefyn in the hills.
"No. And during the rare visits he makes to the palace, he is polite to the females of the warrior houses that are presented to him, but he seems to have no interest in them." Stryfe smiled. "Some of them were quite lovely."
"You have not dishonored any of them?" asked Taeron with annoyance. His human brother enjoyed dallying with women and he shuddered to imagine the trouble he could cause his father's house by seducing the wrong female.
"Dishonor is a relative term," his brother told him with a chuckle.
"No, it is not." Taeron had a very good understanding of the word.
"Let us agree to disagree." Stryfe took Taeron's arm and guided him to the door. "I have much work to do and it is nearly noon, so you should find your mother."
Leaving Stryfe to his work, Taeron found his mother waiting for him and he accompanied her to Edgeland Fortress where they took a shuttle to Dagmaeus a few days later. Although he was glad to spend time with his family, Apolo reminded him too much of Amyr and he caught himself reliving that night in this thoughts and dreams. As he slept this night he saw Amyr on the battlefield fighting for his life with a large Varoonyan. In the dream Taeron had been separated from Amyr during the fighting, but when he saw the warlord attacking Amyr, he tried to reach him. He was too late, and as the Varoonyan swung his weapon to end Amyr's life, Taeron jerked awake before he saw the blade bite into his flesh.
Lying in the dark, his heart pounding, his breathing ragged, Taeron realized that he had fallen asleep with his hand curled around the hilt of Amyr's sword.
The following day Taeron sought Apolo to discuss the dream and found him sitting in the sunshine in the palace garden watching his son play in the grass. Taeron sat next to Apolo in the shade of the tree, and for a moment they did not speak as they both watched Azrael crawl after a lizard that stayed just out of his reach. The toddler had the dark hair and light brown eyes of his father, but Taeron could see his mother in the boy as well.
"Do you think he will have Guerani powers?" asked Taeron.
"I am sure of it," Apolo told him with no hint of bravado. "I have seen the signs in your sisters as well. Ajaela can sense the feelings of others although not consistently, but with training, she will learn to use her magic. I can also feel the stirring of magic in Arina."
"How does my mother feel about her children having Guerani powers?"
Apolo smiled. "I cannot say that she is delighted because she cannot completely overcome the prejudice against my people with which she was raised, but she accepts it." His smile faded and he reached out to grasp Taeron's hand. "You are troubled."
Taeron told him about his dream, and then he asked Apolo if it was possible that the last moments of Amyr's life had been somehow bonded to the sword. "Lady Arora sensed something when she held the sword."
They both knew that Dax had trapped a part of Trey's soul in that very sword. "I do not know how it could have been possible, Taeron. My sister blessed the sword when she gave it to Amyr, and I cannot imagine what she felt when she held it." Apolo squeezed his hand. "Your grief is painful, Taeron. Allow me to ease it for you."
Shaking his head, Taeron withdrew his hand. "I wish to live with the memories."
"I understand." Apolo probably understood better than Taeron why he did not want him to tamper with his memories. When he was a small child, his mother had told him the story of the emperor's loss of his memories of the woman he loved and Taeron had developed a fear of such magic. He would not be able to bear the loss of even a single memory of those he loved.
After leaving Apolo, Taeron found his mother in her elegant, tastefully decorated salon. She was sitting with his sisters on either side of her, and he was amused to watch her instruct them as they plied needles to decorate a garment spread across their laps with bright threads. Ajaela, although only five, seemed to be adept at sewing while Arina, a year younger, was having difficulty manipulating the needle properly. Taeron watched long enough to hear Arina huff with disappointment at a stitch she had just made.
His mother laughed softly and kissed the top of her dark head. "Do not worry, Ari. You have made a stitch that is unique."
Ajaela giggled. "I have made many unique stitches."
Taeron caught the hint of a smile on his mother's lips before she frowned sternly at her eldest daughter. "Try not to make so many or the garment will be too unique for anyone to wear." She bent her head to peer closer at the work and Taeron saw his sisters exchange humored glances. For a moment he was reminded of Shamara and Chaela and those rare moments when they were growing up that they would be up to some sort of mischief. His sisters looked so much like the imperial princesses that Taeron was momentarily disoriented.
He did not realize they had noticed him until Ajaela touched her mother's arm and he heard her urgent, frightened murmur. "There is a man here."
When she raised her head, Larya was frowning, but when she saw that the man was Taeron, she turned that frown on her daughter. "This is your brother."
She had barely been old enough to walk when he left, so Taeron was not surprised that she would not recognize him, but he was sad to realize he was a stranger to her, a stranger that had seemed to alarm her.
"Greet your brother," Larya ordered her daughters. They were reluctant to leave her but probably more frightened of the consequences of refusing so they walked slowly to him.
Stopping before him, they bowed their dark heads. "Greetings, my lord."
The title they had given him and their formal display bothered Taeron. Glancing at his mother, he saw that she was frowning, not at them, but at him. By the gods! What had he done to deserve that scowl?
She did not give him a chance to wonder for long. "You are as rude as your sire! Do you not realize how intimidating you are? They are your sisters, not some rascals off the street who have tossed flower petals upon you in celebration of your staggering success."
He bowed his head. "I am sorry, mother." Now he dropped to a knee so that he was at their level and he held out his arms. They hesitated for a moment longer before rushing to him. Taeron folded them in his arms to kiss the tops of their heads and hold them against him. He was unprepared for the joy he now felt at being amongst his family after all he had endured in the last three years. He did not release them until he felt Arina wriggle against him and he realized he might be holding them too close.
His mother was watching him with a raised brow. "You have become brutish."
Ajaela giggled which earned her a reproachful glance.
Arina tugged on his hand. "Are you really marrying a princess?"
Before he could answer, Ajaela blurted, "We are making your nuptial tunic!"
"Ajaela!" snapped Larya with impatience. "That was to be a surprise."
"He saw us working on it," pointed out Arina.
Taeron glanced at the garment his mother had carefully set aside and he winced as he thought of the faceless female that he would marry. Thankfully he had much work to do on Varoonya before he could do as the emperor wished. That might give him enough time to grow used to the idea of sharing his life with the princess.
"Girls, go find your father and brother. I am sure he has some lessons for you."
When they left, Taeron felt that they were not thrilled about whatever lessons Apolo had for them. He remembered the times Apolo had tried to coax powers from Arora's children, of how Amyr would squirm as Apolo gazed into his eyes as he held his hands. Chaela would never sit still, and would ultimately have a tantrum while Staefyn sat still and stiff until Apolo would look away muttering about muddy Calabrian blood. By the time he had begun his attempts at training the other children, Taeron had left the palace for his own training at Wasteland Fortress.
"You look tired," observed Larya as she took his hand and led him to the sofa where she had been sitting with his sisters.
"I could do not sleep well," he told her.
She put her arms around him and drew his head to her shoulder. "I wish I could say that I know what troubles you, Taeron, but this is something I cannot possibly understand. I am disgusted to admit this, but I think your father is better qualified to help you through this. I am not a warrior, and I have been sheltered from such violence nearly all my life."
Sitting with her in the circle of her arms, breathing in her familiar scent and hearing the cadence of her heart was enough to ease the ache of his heart. "I would never wish to harm Amyr," he told her without raising his head to see her face. His mother had never made any secret of her annoyance with Amyr, even when they were small children and Amyr accompanied Taeron occasionally during the visits he was allowed, just as Taeron accompanied him on visits to Ulfynaeus. Taeron had accepted the arrangement as a child without questioning, but he had come to realize those visits had allowed him to have a relationship with the man who would not claim him as well as the mother the emperor did not quite trust.
He expected his mother to remark as she often did that Amyr did not deserve him, but she wisely changed the subject. "I may not be able to address your military prowess, but I can certainly help you with suggestions for your conjugal success."
Sighing, he let her talk, and the sound of her voice soon lulled him to sleep. When he awoke, the room was shadowed to tell him that the first sun had already set, but his head had slipped to her bosom and saw that she had somehow managed to get the tunic in her lap to sew upon as he slept. Lifting his head, he kissed her cheek to convey his thanks for allowing him to sleep. He loved his mother so much that he wondered if his reluctance to take a wife was due to an unwillingness to allow another female to supplant her in his life. He could not even imagine such a thing.
She put her hand on his cheek. "I have made arrangements for you to go to Ulfynaeus on the morrow. Trey sent a message ordering you to begin you trip back to Varoonya by the end of the week, so you cannot remain much longer."
Taeron was sadly reminded of the short stays of his childhood. Trey had been acutely aware of the loyalty Larya inspired on the pirate satellite and then on the moon where those people had settled. Even though she probably would not incite a rebellion that could challenge his rule, Taeron was his insurance that she did not try. The large contingent of imperial warriors that had accompanied Taeron and Amyr on his trips to Dagmaeus were not there just to protect the emperor's son. Trey did not trust Larya until she had won Arora's friendship, and by that time Taeron was old enough to understand the intricate relationship between the adults of his life. That did not make parting from her any less painful.
She smiled at him now and brushed the hair from his face. "Don't worry, Taeron. There is enough time for us to continue the discussion which you rudely interrupted with your snores. The princess of Teralon will have no reason to complain about having to mate with a clumsy warrior."
By the gods, she kept him awake most of the night and he was further embarrassed when Apolo came upon them to announce the evening meal, and hearing the topic of Larya's one-sided conversation, he earned her gratitude by suggesting that he send the meal to them so that she need not stop.
When he arrived on the second moon, he was fatigued, both from the lack of sleep - how was he supposed to sleep after his mother's detailed explanations of male/female interaction? - the sickness he developed in the shuttle. He wished he could have rested longer on Dagmaeus because now he was feeling unwell. The ultimate healer, Lady Trynity immediately saw that he was ill when she greeted him, and since Lord Duo was busy with a tribal matter, she escorted him to bed and dosed him with her healing tea. Taeron was quite amazed by how quickly it acted to make him feel more than a little euphoric, and he drifted to sleep for the first time in the last three years without the regrets and self-recriminations that had plagued him since Amyr's death.
When he awoke, he found it difficult to move at first, but as he did, his strength returned. The bitter taste in his mouth struck him as odd until he remembered the medicine Trynity had given him. He couldn't get that taste out of his mouth and he realized with surprise that it was the same taste as the wine he had drank on Teralon. He had no choice but to accept that he had been given the herb on Teralon and he could think of only one source.
Taeron went in search of Trynity immediately and found her in her herb garden, his young siblings, Gianeta and Matyas, trampling her precious healing plants as she half-heartedly scolded them while plucking leaves. As Taeron came to scoop Matyas out of pile of mud and set him on the grass, his father's wife smiled up at him.
"You seem to be feeling better." She waved to the two harrowed nannies who came forward to whisk away the children for a bath although they refused to go until Taeron promised to spend time with them later. He smiled after them as they both whooped with delight and ran into the palace with their nannies chasing them. They were near in age to Ajaela and Arina, but his mother would never tolerate her daughters behaving like hoydens, so they were sweet-mannered demure females. He adored his siblings although he despaired that he would probably not know them as well as he knew the emperor's children.
Taeron rubbed mud from his hands. "Your tea is a wondrous drug."
"Not to be taken in too large a dose," she said.
"Can it cause death in such a circumstance?" Taeron was afraid to hear the answer when he had convinced himself that he had been dosed with the drug on Teralon that fateful night.
He was relieved when she replied, "No, just a damn nasty headache" She put her arm around his and led him into the garden. The tangled mess of thorny flowers amused Taeron. There was some romantic tale behind it, but Taeron thought the garden was a bit unsightly, and his last memory of being in this garden was not pleasant, so he was glad to put it behind them when they reached the lake where they sat down.
"Your father is glad that you have returned. We worried about you, especially after we received news of Amyr's death."
Taeron felt his throat tighten. He wanted to apologize for what had happened to Amyr, for what had happened to Quynn, but he could not without weeping.
Trynity continued. "I wish you could spend more time with us before you return to Varoonya, but Trey reminded more this morning that you are needed on Varoonya." She rolled her eyes at the mention of the emperor, so Taeron knew that little had changed in their relationship. "Your brother and sister do not even know you except as a grand hero and champion of the people of Varoonya and Teralon."
"I am no champion or hero," he murmured sadly.
She reached out to take his hand. "Do not blame yourself, Taeron."
"How can I not when I could have prevented Quynn from seeing Amyr that night? If she had not..."
Trynity squeezed his hand to stop him. "If she had not, she would have caught him another time and then another and her life would be miserable."
"Instead, she is dead and so is Amyr." Taeron's lashes were wet with tears.
His stepmother put her arms around him and he was glad for the comfort she gave him. "You must take some time to grieve, Taeron. How will you heal?"
"I had no time," he admitted.
Releasing him, she looked at his face. "We have heard that you fought like a man berserked."
"I have no recollection." He had not realized so much time had passed on the planets near the frontier.
"Interesting." She was looking at him as if trying to examine him.
Taeron couldn't help but smile. "I will give as thorough an accounting as I can later so that you may devise an explanation for my fantastical feats."
"I believe an intense rush of adrenaline can affect you so as to make you berserk. Such a response was not unheard of in popular folklore on Earth. You witnessed such a state yourself when Prince Dagan fought for Shamara. Although some argue that Dagmaeus had possessed him, I still believe his love for her gave him the strength to prevail. You must have entered the state in response to what happened to Amyr. The combination of your mother and father's physiology must have enabled you to sustain the berserk." She must have realized that her words confused him. "You must be exhausted now that it has come to an end." She started to get up. "I can leave you alone…"
Hearing her talk dispassionately about Amyr's death and it's effect on him did made it easier for him to speak of the prince he had failed, and he needed to speak to someone about his suspicions. Taeron grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. "I must ask you some questions about Amyr."
Her brows raised. "I don't know what I could possibly tell you."
"When we stopped at Ulfynaeus on our way to Teralon, he spoke to you at length. I would like to know what you discussed."
She shrugged. "He was interested in my research. He studied my publication on medicinal herbs and wanted more detailed explanations. I think he earnestly wanted to learn healing arts because he feared he could not be respected as a leader."
Her explanation was similar to Amyr's excuse when Taeron had questioned him, but Taeron no longer believed Amyr had anything but a nefarious reason for his interest. Taeron turned Trynity's hand in his and noted the dirt on her fingers from working with her plants. "Did you show him the plants in your medicinal garden?"
Trynity frowned as she stared at their joined hands. "Why are you asking me?"
After a moment of silence, she raised her head and their eyes met. Taeron admitted to her what he had not to anyone because his shame was so great in failure. He told her every detail that he remembered of that night. "The following morning I awoke to find Amyr had gone and we were in the middle of a battle, and I had a strange taste in my mouth. It was bitter, and I couldn't rid myself of it for several hours."
She tilted her head and frowned. "It sounds like the same herb I gave you last night."
"One and the same. Amyr claimed I had been drinking wine that night, and I don't remember doing so although I do recall a cup of water that I now believe must have been drugged. I remember those women coming into the tent, but very little beyond it." He concluded by saying, "I don't know what was a dream and what was not."
"But you remember Amyr returning?"
"I do." Taeron did not tell her that he thought Staefyn had come into his tent because that had been a trick of the light. Staefyn could not have been on Teralon and Calabria at the same time.
Trynity sat silently for a few moments as she considered what he had told her, and then she rose, pulling him up with her. "I think we can get to the bottom of this. Come with me."
They went back to the palace and headed to Duo's office where she contacted the governor's palace on Dagmaeus. Fortunately Apolo was available to talk to them.
"Taeron, your mother will be disappointed that you called when she was busy," he gently scolded him. "I am sure she has thought of more to tell you."
Taeron winced at the memory. "I am sure she will have another chance before I give Princess Dijana my oath."
"She will make sure of it."
Before Apolo could tease him any more, Trynity steered the conversation where she wanted it to head.
"Taeron and I were having an interesting discussion about what happened on Teralon." She quickly explained all that Taeron had told her, then added her own question. "Is it possible for Amyr to initiate a trance on his own?"
Startled by her conclusion, Taeron looked from her to Apolo who sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. For a few moments, he did not say anything, and feeling guilty about blaming a dead man for his failure, Taeron said, "I know that I am at fault…"
Apolo interrupted him. "While he was here, Amyr asked many questions about trances. I wondered where his interest had come from, but Amyr went out of his way to avoid my touch."
"Then it is possible," said Trynity, "that Amyr could have come into his Guerani powers and not have told anyone."
"It must have happened very shortly after the debacle with Quynn." Apolo seemed reluctant to bring up Taeron's sister. "I confess, I was supervising work at Guerani Palace to prepare it for Amyr and Quynn's visit and I felt a disturbance in the voices, but I had no way of knowing what could have caused it." Apolo spoke of the spirit voices of his ancestors whose continued presence in the Guerani Hills helped their magic to flourish. "And if Amyr did not use his magic in my presence, I would not have felt it in him since he avoided my touch. But I find it hard to believe he would be able to take Taeron into a trance so soon after receiving his powers."
Taeron felt betrayed. "Why did he use his magic against me?" He was more hurt than he wanted to admit. "I protected him, kept him safe despite what he had done to my sister!"
"I don't think we should tell Trey," said Trynity. "He is better off believing what good he can of Amyr's last hours alive. He does not need to know that Amyr tried to engineer Taeron's dishonor, not when it ultimately led to his own death. "
"For what it is worth," added Apolo, "I am sorry that my nephew treated you so poorly."
Trynity ended the communication, and then she put her arms around Taeron to give him comfort that he sorely needed. All this time Taeron had believed that he had behaved ignobly when the truth was Amyr had drugged him and put him in a trance. Did Amyr get what he wanted out of that battle? Or did he get what the gods deemed he deserved?