TA DA! *strikes overdramatic diva pose* Once again, I am bored. And ill.

ENJOY!

My Immortal – A Very English Commentary

Chapter Eighteen – I Can't Think of a Title

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! *grabs helmet* (I DO WHAT I WANT, THOR!) if u do den ur a fuken prep! (I'm a preppy girl, in a preppy world...I don't know the rest of...this bloody so-ong.) fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! (Aw…they made up. Good, now at least this thing will be half-literate.) ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! (Because only goffik people swear apparently.)

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I woke up the next day in my coffin. (I often find myself waking up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes, imprisoned by a strange being floating on a strange hovering device. Strange, isn't it? *yey references*) I walked out of it and put on (Here we go again…) some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly (I HATE THIS WORD AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY). I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(Ugh…)

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). (Ha…ha….ha?) Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff (The broom stuff, I love it.) was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. (A boom? I didn't know those things could fly. Think of all the fun I could've had when we did that short film!) We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

*CCCRRRAAWWWLLLIIINNGGG IIINN MY SSSKKKIIIINNNN*

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. (Awful colour coordination.) But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. (Black walls with underwear everywhere? Sounds just like my best friend's room.) And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. (It no longer sounds just like Kelsey's room. She has posters of dragons and TMNT.)

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing *long sigh* a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing *another sigh* a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs (My thighs?) and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. (AGH! MY BRAIN!) *grabs bleach* We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi. (You have established this several times. We get it.)

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel (Otherwise known as Dracula's Bellybutton) was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. (WHY THESE MENTAL IMAGES, WHY?!) He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin (Tan skin? This is Scotland, not Florida. They're lucky if they see sunshine once a year.) but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. (Poor bunny. That can't be healthy.)

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" (How many Voldy clones ARE there?! I bet the Krang had something to do with this.)

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

(Five star design. Double thumbs up.)

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.

...

...

(I'm fine; I just need a few moments to comprehend the utter pretentiousness of that last bit.)

"BTW you can call me Albert." (What happened to Albus? Oh no, did the Krang get to Dumbles too?!) HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes. (This ISN't tUmBLR!)

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we (Bonjour, je n'ai entendu un peu le français?) to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) (That's not how puns work.) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted. (Who, Harry?)

I was so fucking angry. (When are you NOT?)

YEY! WE MADE IT!

This was such a boring chapter. And I'm currently suffering from bad hayfever. Bleh.