Since the last update, I have finished college completely and am officially on my summer holidays!

*throws party*

Now all I have to do is survive until my holiday to Jersey, which isn't until August. I can't wait. My best friend is coming with my family and I, and she's never been on holiday before (seriously, her mum is a prat and dumps her off with her grandma whenever she sods off to Malaga or other chavvy location and her dad, while he does his best and is a lovely person, just can't afford to take a break from work). So I'm pretty excited for her.

Enjoy the madness that always follows. :D

My Immortal – A Very English Commentary

Chapter Nineteen – She's Not Okay, She Promises

WARNING – This chapter is a bit of a clusterfuck. I mean, yeah it's My Immortal so we've come to expect that, but trust me, it's bad. Tara attempts to give her OC relationship drama…yeah, be afraid…be VERY afraid!

im nut ok i promise (Holy balls! A title!)

(It's ironic that the name of some song by another random gothic/emo band sounds exactly like an attention seeking Facebook status update…but that's none of my business.)

*sips tea*

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 (Yeah sure, I'm so jealous of your fantastical writing skills. Teach me Enoby One Nairobi.) frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 (Translation; "From now on, I'm going to delete any reviews that don't tell me I'm an amazing author with wonderfully thought out characters.") BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 (Translation; "Everyone is a pureblood so there!"*insert childish whining here*) fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

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All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. (Emos are always pissed off about something. Usually how privileged they are living in peaceful suburbia with more than enough food and clean water.) Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. (Is there an MCR concert every other day in this universe?) It had been postphoned, so we could all go. (Sure thing, because that's what happens in real life. Big name bands always delay their concert so a few emo kids can get there.)

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. (And probably yourself.) Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he gut all mad at me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot). *sigh* (We get it Tara. You think bisexuality is a type of social validation or something, but like the rest of your braindead subculture, you only show interest in the opposite sex. You are NOT bisexual or even bicurious. Stop giving the LGBTQ community a bad name.)

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily (Where did that come from?) as his black hare went in his big blue eyes *commentator imagines a black rabbit jumping on Draco's face* like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. (That should be a parody film.)

He was wearing (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) *groan* I was wearing (STAAHHHP!) a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it (I think the record skipped.) a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik) (Or…I could just Google it…)

"Accuse me?" (Okay.)

(Tara, you are accused of being an idiot. I don't need a jury; I have more than enough evidence to convict you right now. I hereby sentence you to death by exploding monkeys and blue cheese.)

(Jk, I love you.)

"What about me!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

(I don't know what your English teacher told you, Tara…but 'said' is a perfectly acceptable word to use. You don't have to come up with a new word every line of speech.)

(Seriously though, what in the name of Primus and Prima is even going on? Draco's upset, so Enoby is…mad because emo goff lol?)

*thinks a bit*

(Right yeah, it makes sense in My Immortal. Forget I asked.)

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. (Could you spell it out for me real quick? I'm a bit lost.) *shuffles papers goffically and scratches head sexily*

I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. (Cringalingding!) Draco banged on the door.

I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces *whale sounds* (It's sad this isn't even the worst typo in the fic.)like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot. (I DON'T KNOW WHY you always randomly use CAPS LOCK. IS IT a KEYboArd ISSUE?)

Suddenly Hargrid came. *shudder* (Please stop using that word like that…) He had appearated. (Call me Hermione, but I'm afraid you can't do tha-fuck it, this is My Immortal. The line between possible and impossible has become so blurred there isn't even a line anymore, just a faint smudge.)

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. (Tupperware or metal?)

"Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?" (This is a surprisingly coherent question for My Immortal. Colour me impressed Tara, my faith in you has been reinstated.)

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

(And is thus promptly shattered.)

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"

(And then the last traces are swept into the dunes by passing desert winds, never to be seen again...)

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped. (AUDIBLE GASP! A non-emo/goth knows of MCR?! HOW COULD THERE BE SUCH A THING!?)

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."

(Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences.)

(Spoilers, it's probably his penis. SURPRISE!)

*confetti and streamers*

(And this time it's real confetti.)

TA DA! WE DID IT! So yeah, to recap, basically nothing different happened in this chapter. All the characters acted completely OOC and swore a lot. At least Tara managed to keep that bit of continuity correct all the way through, though I'm sure she didn't realise it.

Review, flame…whatever you want.

Incidentally, is this anyone's first time reading My Immortal, or are we all veterans of the war against the Sue? Haha, "but everything changed when the Sue Nation attacked…"