Sorry about the lull in updates. I kind of had to leave this a while to refresh my mind. :)

Enjoy!

My Immortal – A Very English Commentary

Chapter Twenty Three - And Then Stuff Happened

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 (All of them are flames.) fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

(Such goff.)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX – (Is it just me, or does this bit seem longer than usual?)

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.

"MR. WAY (MR? MORE PROOF ENOBY IS TRANS*! HEADCANNON ACCEPTED.) WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily.

Dumbledore blared at her.

(He's Shaun the sheep! He's Shaun the sheep! He even mucks about with those who cannot bleat! Keep him in miiiiiind! HE'S ONE OF A KIND! OOOOH, life's a treat with Shaun the sheep!)

(I'm not going to apologise for knowing that song.)

(I'm also not going to apologise for you getting it stuck in your head when you undoubtedly go look it up.)

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. (Like…corrupted computer files? That might actually explain most of the madness in this fic.) "She means hi everybody cum in!"

*immature laughter* (This fic doesn't even need me. It sporks itself.)

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. (Who the FUCK is that?)

I eight *sigh* some Count Chocula (THE most goffix cereal EVA.) and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother. (With guns right? Not wands. Nobody used wands in this fic.)

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"

*the whale/seal sounds are back*

"No I do!" shouted. (Who shouted?)

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire.

And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv)

*holds hands up in self-defence* (Literally was not even wallowing in the gutter until you mentioned it.)

They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. (I swear, she uses the SAME sentence to describe Vlosgramert every time he shows up.)

He had no nose (WE HAVE FUCKING ESTABLISHED THIS FACT ABOUT FIVE FUCKING TIMES.) and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. (It's okay Brit, I'll protect you! Can you tell she's my favourite character?) Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped.

Da room fell silent….Volzemort!

(DONNIE! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU'D GOT RID OF THESE VOLDY CLONES!)

"Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. *hysterical laughter* (Darth…Valer. WHAT?! I love it though, I love it so bad!)"Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" (Lolz, what?)

Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. (Oh typos, how I love thee.) Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. (Yeah, no. That's not how it works.)

I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot (Holy eff, not ANOTHER clone! This is getting ridonkulous.) coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

(It sporks itself.)

"No!" I screamed sexily. (I'm not even sure that's a thing that can happen.) Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"

(IT. SPORKS. ITSELF.)

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister (Aw great, which bastadised HP character is THAT supposed to be?) about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.

(Tara is so descriptive. :3)

IT ENDS. Also this chapter was really boring. Sorry. Not my fault. Take it up with the Goff Cownsil.