I started writing this at half past one in the morning. Evidently I am a functioning human adult with a perfectly normal sleep schedule.
Wow, it's actually been a while. Sorry about that. I've been working on an original story for a while instead of writing fanfiction. I swear I'll try harder to update this more often though, I know some of you really love this.
Enjoy my tired rambling.
My Immortal – A Very English Commentary
Chapter Twenty Four – In Which Draco Becomes a Door
AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!
(Yeah, I don't think Raven is that much of a help to you at this point Tara. Personally I'd give her the boot. She's just not worth the pay.)
(Also…)
(I DO WHAT I WANT, THOR!)
(No, I won't ever tire of making that reference)
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Well we had Deviation (Deviation from what, cultural norms? If it's the plot you're talking about, then you deviate from the plot all the time. I fail to see why you need to attend a class in it.) next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.
"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. (Oh god, not more of this shit.)
(Wait, who the fuck is Prof. Sinister? I thought Prof. Trevolry was teaching this class.)
She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. (Is it lipstick that smells people or does she put lipstick on hernose?) She's da coolest fucking teacher ever.
(She apparently puts lipstick on her nose. I don't think she's so much 'cool' as she is 'mildly insane'. Though alternatively, if your definition of 'da coolest fucking teacher ever' is one who wears magic lipstick that smells people, then yeah…sure thing.)
She had long dead black hair (She might also need a trip to the hairdressers) with blood red tips and red eyes.
hr mom woz a vampire. (Of course she was.) She's also haf Japanese (Of course she is.) so she speaks it and everyfing (OF COURSE SHE DOES.)
she n b'loody mry get along grate. (Not surprising really, considering all you have to do to get along with these freaks of characters is swear all the time and wear nothing but skimpy black clothing.) She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing (SPEAK OF THE DEVIL AND HE FUCKING DOTH APPEAR) a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress.
We went inside the black classroom with pastors (Pastors? OH SHIT. QUICK, HIDE THE CHOIR BOYS!) of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand.
*aggressively makes cartoon car noises*
I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it. (Did you at least ask the Polish person first?)
"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"
"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. (Honey, even my grandmother knows what Hot Topic is, and we don't even have it in England.) I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"
(JUST DO IT!)
(NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.)
(DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!)
*awkward arm and knee movement*
(DO IT!)
"Ho about now?" she asked.
"OK." I said.
"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."
"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die.
(Gong 2 Die: Dawn of the Return of the Revenge of the Goff.)
(Directed by Michael Bay and M. Night Shyamalan.)
(Never coming to cinemas near you.)
Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.
"What do you c?" she asked. (Nothing, because it's fucking black and therefore opaque.)
"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco.
(And then Draco was the door.)
He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet (He was wearing a tap?), a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.
(Congress shoes! Trampling on a woman's rights has never been so comfy!)
(BUY NOW AT STORES NEAR YOU FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND EQUAL!)
"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister.
"Bye bitch." I said waving.
(I wish I was still shocked by this shit, I really do.)
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.
(Apparently Draco is now a door and Enoby is a museum exhibit.)
(Wonders never cease.)