Chapter 23
"You remind me of your mother."
Although her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, Quynn did not even look up from where she was kneeling in the dirt pulling weeds from the garden patch behind her cottage. She had gone out to collect herbs to dry out for cooking, but she noticed some areas of the garden that had gone neglected since Amyr had walked into her life. She wasn't going to let him distract her from her work.
"You aren't standing on my herbs, are you?" she asked, noticing his booted feet in the garden.
His chuckle made her heart flutter. Quynn hated that her body responded to him with a hitch of her breath. She had years to realize that her feelings for him had been deeper than his for her and she was finding it impossible to set them aside.
"Your mother threatened to undo my manhood should I crush any of her precious plants," he told her.
Quynn wished she had, then maybe she wouldn't be sick to her stomach thinking about the time he had spent with Carrinda. She had heard about it from both Danlaer and Keldar when she went to the spacecraft to help with the wiring, but she had not had the courage in the two days since to confront Carrinda. Quynn did not want to believe her friend would betray her, but Carrinda's morals and her own did not concur. Monogamy was unheard of on this planet, and both men and women did not restrain themselves by making promises, the kind of promises that Amyr had made to her. He would thrive on this planet.
"You are not working on the ship," Amyr observed when she did not respond to his remark.
"I worked on it early this morning,"she told him. "Danlaer and Keldar have gone into the city to see if they can find some wire at one of the salvage barges that landed yesterday." Now Quynn looked up to see that he had turned over a bucket that she had used to bring water to the garden and he was sitting on it watching her. "Does Taeron know you have escaped his training?"
He was wearing one of Taeron's embellished tunics again, of which Stryfe told Quynn with a laugh, he had far too many. Larya had been overjoyed that her precious son was marrying a princess, was a hero and warlord. Quynn had only ever known Taeron to wear the simple blue and red tunic of the imperial house, but Larya had provided him with garments of fine fabrics from beyond the frontier. Amyr was wearing a gold trimmed crimson tunic which must have been altered to fit his smaller frame. The color emphasized the dark good looks that he had from his beautiful mother, but she saw his father in his face as well, now more than when she had vowed to wed him. There was no doubt that Trey was his father. She should not have looked at him because she remembered too vividly the trance which she had thought was a dream. And in the years since the trance, she had dreamed more than once of her honeymoon with this man. Her memory of the trance warmed her at night when she curled up in her bed alone because no man could ever take Amyr's place.
Sighing, she diverted her thoughts of the trance by pushing back a stray curl and standing to face him. "What did you come here for?"
His amber eyes met her gaze when he raised his head. "Do I need a reason to visit my wife?"
Quynn wanted to deny the pleasure she felt at hearing him refer to her as his wife. "I thought that was behind us. We are no longer bonded."
"We are no longer physically bound, but the vows we spoke before our houses are no less binding."
She put her hands on her hips. "Binding until I speak to my father and tell him my feelings."
Amyr shrugged. Tell him whatever you want, but he will see the child we have made and will not listen to you. My father will insist upon our marriage and your father will not refuse him."
Quynn hated that he was right. "That doesn't mean I have to like our circumstances. You are a selfish, arrogant prick and I wish I had never laid eyes on you."
He chuckled again, and she was irritated that it sent a shiver down her spine. When he rose from the bucket, she stood her ground as he advanced into her garden until he was standing before her. "Quynn, I rue the day you crossed my path as well because every other woman pales in comparison to you." He reached up and she could not bring herself to move as his fingers brushed her forehead before taking the curl that had slipped again and tucking it behind her ear.
He moved closer and for a moment his warmth and masculine scent disoriented her, but when he lowered his head, she jerked back and stepped away, her hand itching to slap his smug, handsome face. "Don't you have better things to do?"
"I can think of nothing better at the moment." He must have realized his chance at seduction was gone, so he carefully stepped out of her garden while she nervously smoothed out her gown. She did not want to realize how there was mud on her skirt where she had been kneeling, that her fingers were stained green and there was dirt under her fingernails. She had not expected to entertain the crown prince of Calabria when Carrinda asked her to fetch some herbs.
"Perhaps you should visit Carrinda. You are well acquainted with her." Quynn wanted to bite her own tongue for her remark which could not be mistaken for anything but jealousy.
"Are you planning to harm me? I would have no other reason to visit her. And if you speak of the other day, you surely know that she healed me from the harm your dragon caused me."
Quynn sniffed. "And that took all day and the night as well? I wasn't born yesterday, princeling." She could not believe that he still thought she was naïve.
"Did you ask her what I did in her cottage all night?" His half-smile was disarming, but she refused to be moved by it.
"Ha! I don't need to ask her why a man spends the night in her cottage." She retrieved the basket of herbs she had come into the garden to get in the first place and then tried to march past him, but he reached out to catch her arm in a gentle grasp.
"I was hoping to see the boy."
"The boy?" Quynn could not bring herself to say anything more because she was outraged that he could not even call their son by his name.
Amyr was oblivious to her fury. "I thought I should learn something of him."
"Maybe you should start by learning his name!"
He waved his hand dismissively. "Just tell me where he is. I am surprised he is not clinging to your skirt as I have seen him do far too often. It is time that there is a man in his life."
She stared at him in outrage for just a moment before she said, "He does have a man in his life. He is with Taeron."
"Taeron!" The sour look on Amyr's face gratified her. "Where are they?"
Quynn shrugged, enjoying his anxiety. "I don't know where they have gone. Yori was with me this morning, clinging to my skirts, when Taeron came to check on the progress of the rewiring. He offered to take Yori into the woods to hunt rabbits for lunch – well, not really rabbits, but they look a little like rabbits."
He looked as if he would say something, but he pressed his lips together for a moment before speaking, "You say things to hurt me, and you know what hurts me most."
Unable to bear his arrogance any more, she threw the basket of herbs at his head. "You thrice damned bastard! I hurt you? Do you have any idea how I felt when I saw you that night?" She tried not to cry, but the tears rushed to her eyes as the pain came flooding back. "I was so happy that day! I loved you and I heard you pledge to bind your life to mine. That night my head was in the clouds and my heart was so full that I did not even notice you seducing the woman waiting on us during our meal! I was the only one that did not see it!" She choked on her own humiliation now. "I was such an idiot!"
He took a step toward her, reached out a hand to touch her, but she slapped it away. "I have no words to tell you how sorry I am."
"You aren't sorry! You were not even sorry in the trance after you took advantage of me!" Quynn swiped at the tears in her eyes, hating that he saw her pain, wishing she weren't on this godsforsaken planet because she didn't feel strong facing him. She had mocked her father for his sense of honor, his strength and his bull-headed dictates, but now she wanted him to hold her in the protective circle of his strong arms. Is that what it meant to be a Calabrian female? Quynn hated it! She had been a fighter, self-assured, at the top of her class of cadets. How had she come to be this pathetic weeping female?
"You're right," Amyr admitted, his voice hard as if he realized that he could not cajole her. "Everything I told you in the trance was true. I wanted to marry you to gain my father's approval, but most of all I did it because I thought it would please your father."
"He … he was like a father to me all those years when I was a child and my father was fighting rebels to stabilize Calabria. I spent months and months with Lord Duo. When the fighting was over and he settled on the moon, I traveled frequently between there and the imperial palace. I am not an idiot. I know my father sent me because he was really sending Taeron, but I so looked forward to going. I love your father as if he were my own! You are hurt? Do you know how I felt when he came back from Mars with a new family, when he accepted Taeron as his son?"
"You poor man!" If she had a weapon she would use it on him. "You married me to permanently have place in his life!" Quynn felt so hurt that she could barely breathe. "You never wanted me! You wanted him!"
Amyr shook his head and she was outraged that he laughed. "Not want you? I wanted you when I didn't know who you were, when you threw flowers in my face. If you weren't Lord Duo's daughter and under my uncle's protection, I would have had you at the snap of my fingers before the setting of the second sun."
She gasped. "You pig! You think I am like all those other mindless females who can't resist your charm?"
"I know you are." His smug smile so infuriated her that she lunged at him with her fingers curled in to claws, fully intending to rip his handsome face to shreds, but Amyr managed to seize her wrists and her momentum threw her body against his. Before she could react, he lowered his head and caught her lips with his own. He tasted of fruit and honey that he must have had for breakfast, and his spicy masculine scent overwhelmed her senses.
His head raised a moment and she dragged in a ragged breath, but he released one of her wrists and grasped her chin with his fingers, tilting her head before touching his lips to hers again. She shivered when his fingers slid down her neck, caressing lightly before moving around and into her hair, and as his other hand still held her wrist firmly, he curled his fingers in her hair and grasped a handful which he used to tilt her head so that he could deepen the kiss.
Quynn told her body to resist his artful seduction, but it pressed against him, fitting to his hard ridges, seeking to meld them into one being. She was burning in his arms, aching with needs that had gone so long unfulfilled. Amyr had been the only man she had ever been with, and even that had been in a trance, not quite real, not on this plane. It had been like a dream, but this was real and she was powerless to resist when she badly wanted what he offered.
A discreet clearing of a throat brought reality crashing back. Before she had fully regained her senses, Amyr released her and stepped quickly away before she could retaliate which she would have with a well-placed knee. She glared at him, promising future retribution before turning to see Carrinda waiting at the other edge of the garden.
"The herbs?" she prompted when Quynn did not speak.
"Are these the herbs?" Amyr picked up the basket she had thrown at him, then walked around the garden to hand them to Carrinda. "I look forward to tasting your stew."
"I have been told that I make the best stew in the province," she said with a flirtatious smile that made Quynn grit her teeth.
"I don't remember inviting you to share our meal," snapped Quynn irritably as she ran a shaky hand through her tangled hair. She didn't want to think about how it felt to have Amyr pushing his fingers through it.
Amyr glanced at her briefly before looking back at Carrinda with a smile that would charm a Yolovian banshee. Had it worked on Ryanwin? "Perhaps another time?"
Carrinda laughed lightly. "Nonsense! Come by at the supper hour. Bring Mordrad and a bottle of wine with you."
"Perhaps you can point me in the direction where my imperial guard has taken my son. I would like to join them."
Quynn wanted to retort that he had no son, but if she did, they would argue further and arguing with him never ended well. Instead she thought about her relief when Taeron had shown up at her door. Since discovering the truth, that Yori was her son, that Amyr was his father and what had happened in the trance was just as real as if it had happened on Calabria, she felt awkward with him. Quynn did not want Amyr to take Yori away from her before she had a chance to sort out her own feelings about her son.
"Bashat is one of the trackers," Carrinda told Amyr. "He is cutting wood behind my cottage and will help you find them."
Amyr turned back to Quynn and she felt her knees go weak from the fire in his amber eyes. "I will see you later, wife." After an exaggerated bow, he sauntered away in the direction of Carrinda's cottage.
Quynn had no reply, nothing to hurl at his departing figure. She was embarrassed to have so easily succumbed to his seduction, proving that he was right when he claimed she would have been an easy conquest for him. The only thing that kept him at bay was her father, and not because he was afraid of him, but because he wanted his approval.
"Did I come at the wrong time?" asked Carrinda slyly.
Quynn glared at her. "Why were you flirting with him?" She was too angry at her own behavior to even care that she sounded like a jealous shrew.
Carrinda laughed lightly. "I wasn't flirting with him!"
Turning on her heel, she headed back to her own cottage. "I don't care what the two of you do!" She wished she believed what she said.
For the first time since she had met Carrinda, she was angry with the other woman and she was irritated that she followed her into the cottage. Quynn ignored her as she picked up the toys that Yori had left on the floor, snatching up clothing he had discarded the night before as well. She should scold him for his carelessness.
"Are you angry that he spent the night with me?" asked Carrinda, concern in her voice.
Quynn faced her and saw that her friend looked stricken. "You know how I feel after what happened with him on Calabria. How should I feel now after you take him to your bed? You are my friend!"
"We did not share our bodies," Carrinda told her with a smile. "Are you surprised? I certainly was when he rejected my offer."
"You offered?" Quynn didn't know how to react.
Her friend laughed. "Of course I did! I have healed him several times in the last few days. Do you think I am blind and oblivious to his charm? I am certain that I would have thoroughly enjoyed the night with him."
Quynn frowned at her. "Then … then what ..."
"He wanted to hear about his son. He did not think that you would tell him anything, so he asked many questions." Carrinda went to her and took her hands when Quynn realized that she was stunned. "Prince Amyr wants to take his rightful place in his son's life. You are not going to deny him, are you?"
Quynn felt the tears welling up again, and seeing her distress, Carrinda drew her close and put her arms around her. Carrinda had taken her mother's place in her life so the thought that she had lain with Amyr had hurt her deeply. She felt so disoriented now when not so very long ago she had come to terms with her life and actually felt comfortable on Norvana. Now she was back where she started that night in the garden when her world had been turned around. Except now she was a mother and she had a husband that she could not trust.
What bothered her even more was that she had not felt Jeshed's presence all day. He usually reacted to her emotions, but he remained still, even during Amyr's visit. Although they had never spoken, Quynn could sense the dragon's feelings and he had conveyed ambivalent feelings towards Amyr. Jeshed did not trust Amyr, but he did not distrust him either, and for Yori's sake, he did not burn Amyr to a pile of ash. Perhaps the dragon was respecting her privacy, but she sensed that it was something more because the bracelet around her wrist was now just an uncomfortable weight. Quynn felt like part of her was missing and she did not want this added worry on top of learning about Yori.
Carrinda was waiting for an answer. "I thought that I could help repair the ship and send him on his way, but now … "
Now she would have to return to Calabria, to face the mess she had left behind. Quynn had no way of knowing how her father would react to what had happened, but she feared that the emperor would be more than displeased. He had yet to forgive her mother for the pain she had caused his imperial guard. And if he did accept her and Yori, how would she handle her responsibilities as the wife of the crown prince? Quynn had never given any thought to what it entailed. She had returned to Calabria to be with the man, not the prince. The only thing in her mind had been waking up to Amyr every day because he was the only man who made her feel anything in his arms.
She would never forget the day when she had been left behind with Amyr while Taeron and Stryfe had gone into the village that was being raided by Camridaean fanatics. He flirted, she insulted him and before either of them realized what was happening between them, she was in his arms and they were wrestling with uncooperative Calabrian garb that kept them from their goal. If Stryfe and Taeron had not returned to fetch them when they did, Yori would have been born three years earlier. Stryfe had to keep Taeron from ripping Amyr apart despite her insistence that she was as much to blame as Amyr for their loss of control. Taeron never blamed her but treated her like a female that needed to be protected. She had resented him for it, but she should have realized that she had needed protection from the unrepentant womanizer he knew Amyr to be.
Carrinda smiled at her. "If what I saw in the garden is any indication, you should not be regretting what your future holds."
"That is all that is between us," Quynn said with a sigh.
She wondered if she even knew anything about the real Amyr. Amyr had only shown her the man that would do whatever he had to in order to keep a place in her father's life. She almost laughed at herself now as she thought of his confession. How silly she had been! He could, and did, have any woman he wanted on Calabria, so what made her think he actually wanted her? He just wanted to make himself Lord Duo's son.
Well, he had gotten what he wanted and Quynn had gotten what she deserved for being so gullible.