By Friday Rose had a new routine; up at 4 pm to filch food then head to sit outside the wards with Mason. Attend classes and then training during lunch. More classes and then back out to Mason.

At first, she'd found maintaining a connection with him tiring; until she'd discovered the more darkness she took from Lissa, the easier it became. And taking darkness from Lissa was easily done because right now she was making shitloads of it. Between her spirit work with Adrian and Ms. Carmack, and her resentful feelings towards Rose, Lissa was making shadows hard and fast.

Rose had managed to avoid Adrian until Friday lunchtime when he'd learned via Eddie where Rose was hiding.

"Stay away from me," Rose snapped when Adrian walked into the otherwise vacant gym wearing a sympathetic expression.

"Come on little Dhampir… Talk to me. Please?" he implored. He was keeping up his nonchalant façade, but it gutted him to see Rose devoid of light and joy. Belikov hadn't just broken her heart; he'd broken her spirit.

"What about? How the man I loved decided I wasn't good enough? How he took my heart and my virginity and less than forty-eight hours later decided I wasn't worth his time? That instead he chose to be Tasha's man? No thanks, Adrian," she sneered. "Funnily enough, I like to keep those thoughts close to my chest. I use them to torture myself through those long nights when I can't sleep," she spat at him derisively.

Her statement had the ring of truth because it was the truth. Waking or sleeping Dimitri's betrayal preyed on her mind. Combined with the anger and resentment she felt from the darkness, Rose was constantly feeling desolate. In fact, the only time she had any peace was when she was with Mason.

"Lissa thinks you're angry with her because she didn't include you in an invite to a royal party the other night," he started, thinking to appeal to Rose through her friendship with the Moroi Princess.

"Of course she does," Rose said bitterly. "Because no one would ever think I might have a love life; that I'd be loved and special to someone. And they'd be right. I don't have a love life. I thought I did, but I was just another stupid Dhamp chick used for sex and then discarded. I just didn't think a dhampir guy would do that. I didn't think he would do that. Guess I know better now, right?!"

Adrian flinched. The bitterness and self-derision were crushing.

"What happened?"

"We trained Monday after classes, and everything was great. He went to see Tasha after that, and on Tuesday morning he told me he loved me but it was too dangerous for us to be together and he left me. He flew out before breakfast with Tasha; he'd accepted her offer to be her guardian."

"There must be more to it than that?" Adrian asked in confusion.

"No. That really was it. He fed me a whole heap of bullshit about loving me and wanting to protect me, but it was all over in minutes."

"I would never have foreseen him doing that. I'm so sorry, Rose," Adrian said, and she could tell he really meant it.

"Not as sorry as I am," Rose replied, pulling on her gloves and turning her back to him, moving to the punching bag. "Now please leave me alone. I don't want to talk, and I don't want to think."

As soon as the final bell rang on Friday afternoon, Rose took off to the graveyard and the ward line. The guardians were used to seeing her out there by now. Alberta had put the word out she was to be observed but not interrupted unless necessary, but she had stepped up the number of guardians posted to that side of the campus.

Adrian knew Rose had been heading off somewhere alone after classes, so on Friday, he followed her. It wasn't hard to do; Rose was making no secret of where she was going. She passed through the cafeteria to pick up some food to go and then headed off towards the graveyard. Adrian was surprised when he realized she'd crossed over the ward line, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw next. It was night, but it was light enough thanks to a nearly full moon, but as soon as she sat down, it looked as though her aura darkened to the point where it was black. Not murky and shadow-tinged like it usually was even at its worst. The darkness took over her aura to the point where her own life essence was indistinguishable, and the area immediately surrounding her was darker than the moonlit area in which she sat.

Whipping out his phone as he observed Rose from a distance, he quickly dialed Lissa.

"I know this is a strange question, but did your mood just change at all?" he asked, trying to reconcile what was going on.

"Yeah, it did. I was feeling tired and irritable, and all of a sudden a feeling of peace washed over me. Why?" Lissa asked.

"Um, I think it's a spirit thing. I'll tell you later," he mumbled, disconnecting the call. "Little Dhampir, what are you doing?" he muttered under his breath.

Adrian stood in the tree line watching Rose in the distance until the sun started to come up. She was still there when he left to join Lissa and Christian for dinner. He sat with them, eating in silence and listening to the two of them speak until finally, he could contain himself no longer.

"I'm worried about Rose. Seriously worried," he said.

"What do you mean?" Lissa said. "She's just sulking because I couldn't invite her to that royal get together the other day."

"I don't think that's it, cousin," Adrian said, using the familial honorific Royals often used to allude to their shared regal status. "Rose has never been into those get togethers. Usually, you have to drag her kicking and screaming, don't you?"

Lissa tilted her head to one side, considering Adrian's words. He had a point. At the first mention of 'royal,' Rose was usually making excuses about a prior commitment. Once she'd even refused on the basis of it being the night she needed to exfoliate her face.

"Well if it's not that, what is it?" she asked.

"I think she's missing Mason. I followed her after class, and she's going out to near his gravesite. She was just sitting there. I think that's where she's going in the mornings and afternoons now she's no longer training with Belikov."

"She said she was still training even though he's gone?" Lissa queried.

"She isn't. I spoke to Eddie, and she's not training in the morning or afternoons anymore. She's not coming to meals, and she's not speaking with any of the Novices in her guardian classes either. This isn't about you or the party, Lissa. Something is going on with Rose, and I'm worried."

"She was ok until Belikov left," Christian observed. "Maybe it's that?"

Adrian pondered his words carefully. He didn't want to give away Rose's secret, and he was certain she didn't want anyone else to know about what had gone on between her and the cradle robber, especially given the way things had worked out.

"You might be right. You've had Lissa and Tasha helping you through it, but she hasn't really opened up to anyone except Belikov, and now he's gone."

"I could call him? See if he has any insight," Christian suggested.

"Let me," Adrian insisted, thinking Dimitri was a lot more likely to be forthcoming with someone who knew about him and Rose.

Lissa and Christian took off after dinner to 'study,' which Adrian knew from their auras was probably going to involve defiling the chapel's attic space. He went to the feeders and then back to his room. He realized he didn't have the cradle robber's mobile number, but a quick call to Court solved that problem. Being the Queen's favorite nephew was not without perks!

Opening a bottle of vodka, Adrian took a deep draught straight from the neck. Even though most of his work with Ms. Carmack and Lissa on spirit had been explaining not doing, there'd been enough hands on to leave him feeling stressed out and pissed off. He stood on a chair, removing the batteries from the smoke detectors before opening the windows and finding a saucer to use as an ashtray. Finally, he sunk onto the sofa, dialing the number he'd been given for Guardian Belikov.

It was 9 am there. Whether they were running on human or Moroi time, Belikov should be up. Adrian lit a smoke as the phone rang and rang. He was about to hang up when a panting Russian voice answered.

"Belikov."

It sounded like Adrian had caught him in the middle of something. It better not be in the middle of what he thought it was, or Adrian would find a way to rip the guy's dick off, himself!

"It's Ivashkov. I need to speak with you about Rose."

"Rung to gloat, have you? Happy you've managed to split us up?!" Dimitri snarled.

Suddenly Adrian was grateful there were hundreds of miles between him and Dimitri; the Russian sounded beyond furious!

"What do you mean, cradle robber?!" Adrian snapped. "I'm ringing to tell you Rose is all sorts of fucked up and find out what the hell happened between you two."

"Like you don't know!" Dimitri bellowed angrily.

"Actually, I don't!" Adrian shouted in reply. "All I know is Rose is talking to no one. She's stopped training, she's not turning up to any meals, and if she's not in class, she's sitting for hours near Mason's grave. I asked her what was wrong and she said you'd decided she wasn't good enough. That she was a 'stupid Dhamp chick used for sex and then discarded'!"

Dimitri was holding his phone so hard he was nearly crushing it. He'd been in the middle of running. He'd run for hours each morning and afternoon since his reallocation. It was a good way to get away from Tasha, and it gave him time to think. What Adrian said was no surprise. He knew that was how Rose would react; that she would think she wasn't good enough. That somehow she was unworthy of being loved. Not that he could blame her for feeling that way. They'd shared something so special, and two days later taken off with no real explanation. Taken off with a woman who'd made it clear she was interested in being more than friends with him.

"I don't believe you, Ivashkov. You were the only one who knew about us – who else could have told Alberta?"

"Alberta knows about you and Rose?!"

"You know she does. You told her!" he roared.

"I didn't," Adrian said. "I wasn't thrilled about you and Rose, but she chose, and she chose you. I wouldn't mind doing that to you, but I wouldn't do it to her!"

"Well if you didn't say anything, who the hell did?" Dimitri said, surprisingly seeming to believe Adrian. "Alberta called me into her office Monday afternoon to tell me that she knew about Rose and I. That someone had told her about us, but if I got a new allocation, she'd keep things under wraps so Rose's career wouldn't be ruined."

"So you took an allocation with Tasha?"

"There'd be fewer questions that way. I went to see Tasha after speaking with Alberta and told her I had to get away from St. Vlad's as soon as possible. She'd made me an allocation offer at Christmas, so I asked did her offer still stand."

"So why does Rose think you left her to be with Tasha romantically?"

"At Christmas time Tasha asked if I'd like to guard her but also consider something more. She suggested we could start a family together."

"So you've dumped Rose and shacked up with Tasha. No wonder Rose is heartbroken!" Adrian sneered.

"I'm not interested in Tasha. I don't want or care for anyone but Rose! I'm going to guard Tasha until the May reallocation round and get a new charge then. I told Rose that!"

"Well she didn't believe you," Adrian said with a sigh. "I'm worried for her. She's hurting badly, and I've never seen an aura as black as hers."

He was going to have to see her, that much was clear, Dimitri realized. He should never have left in the first place. From the minute they'd got off the plane, it had become obvious Tasha hadn't abandoned her hopes that one day they'd be more than friends. It had started with an embarrassing situation at a hotel at Court where she'd requested a room for them to share with a king sized bed. Only a king sized bed (a situation rectified via a quick call to the concierge). Then she'd wandered around in skimpy clothing, 'accidentally' leaving the bathroom door open when she was changing. If she thought he would be tempted, she was mistaken. If anything it made him miss Rose even more. Rose didn't have to try to be sexy; she just was.

Then there was the irritating touching. The way she put her hand on him when she spoke, or accidentally brushed against him as she walked by. He found it unsettling, and every time she did it he'd tense and move out of range.

He also didn't like the way she said 'we' when speaking with other people. It wasn't what she said; it was the tone. She managed to make "We can't wait to get home!" when she was speaking with her self-defense class sound like they were insatiable lovers, not flatmates or perhaps even relatives; the story he'd suggested they use to explain his presence at the studio and in her life.

But the truth of the matter was his life was meaningless without Rose. He'd never been an open person; Ivan had been the only person outside his family he'd really been himself with. Until Rose. With Rose, he didn't have to pretend to be someone he wasn't. No one else got him the way she did. Being with her felt so perfect and natural.

Determination in every step, Dimitri resumed his run, turning back toward the unit he shared with Tasha. It was 9.30 am Saturday morning. They were operating on diurnal time, and Tasha was at the studio leading a martial arts class. Weekends were her busiest days at the studio, but she had Mondays and Tuesdays off in lieu. Checking the flight schedules, they could take the red-eye to Missoula Monday morning and be at the Academy by 11 am. He'd suggest they both went – he was happy to pay for the tickets. But if Tasha said no, or refused to give him leave, he'd resign as her guardian. It would be a huge black mark on his record, but Rose needed him.

Now his mind was made up, a feeling of calm descended. In forty-eight hours he would hold his girl again, and he wasn't going to let go until she knew how much he cared. That she was it for him; his one and only. Yes, they'd have to stay away from one another until she graduated – but somehow they'd find a way to be together. Anything else just wasn't an option.

It was almost midday by the time Rose stepped back over the wards and walked to her dorm room. She was exhausted, and her head ached. It was so peaceful and calm when she was talking with Mason, but with every step towards the Academy buildings, she could feel her mood plummeting. She was tired and desperately wanted to sleep; hopefully tonight she'd be able to rest without dreams or thoughts of Dimitri invading her unwilling brain. She needed a break from the pain.

Fate was yet again her enemy. She tossed and turned, plagued by nightmares all night. She finally drifted into fitful repose in the early hours and probably would have slept through lunch had a persistent banging on her door not interrupted her sleep. Uttering some expletives, Rose opened the door to find Adrian, Christian, Lissa, and Eddie on the other side.

"Come on little Dhampir!" Adrian greeted, looking around her broom cupboard sized dorm room curiously. "It's 11 pm! You can't avoid us, today. I bribed an off-duty guardian to drive to get us pizza; I've got the refreshments back at my unit – let's go!"

Rose was opening her mouth to refuse when she saw Lissa's imploring look. She could tell through the bond Lissa was really concerned, and she couldn't deal with the drama of her worrying.

"Sure. Let me get dressed," she mumbled, shooing the guys from the room. Lissa, however, slipped inside. The two of them had been changing in front of each other since they were four years old, so thought nothing of stripping off in front of one another.

"Rose!" Lissa gasped. "How much weight have you lost? Are you eating?"

Rose shrugged. She hadn't been very hungry since Spokane, but she'd managed to get something down most meal times. When she remembered. And now she wasn't training anywhere near as much, she didn't need to eat as much she justified to herself. She looked at herself critically in the mirror. Maybe she had lost a few pounds.

"I don't think I have? You just haven't seen me naked in a while," Rose deflected.

She threw on a pair of jeans and a top, preparing to follow Lissa from the room. She really didn't want to go with her friends, but she knew that if she didn't, they'd insist.

"I've missed you, Rose," Lissa said, pulling the brunette dhampir into a tight hug. It had literally been weeks since the two of them had hung out.

"Yeah missed you too, Liss." Rose made the obligatory reply, but she didn't feel it. She didn't feel anything.

Still, the day wasn't a complete disaster. They'd gone via Lissa's dorm room so she could pick up some things and get changed, and then they'd headed to Adrian's. Everyone had made an effort; lots of fun filled talk – nothing that could get her down. Everyone studiously avoided talk of Dimitri, Tasha or Mason as they ate pizza, mucked around and drank Vodka. After consuming almost half a bottle, Rose allowed herself to lie on the sofa, her head in Lissa's lap, the Moroi princess stroking her long dark hair.

"You know I love you, don't you Rose?" Lissa asked apprehensively as their group dispersed after dinner. "I'll pick you up at 10 pm for Church tomorrow?"

"I know, Liss. I love you, too. Always have, always will."