Author's note: Wednesday, so here's another short update. There will be a full chapter up on Sunday!
Thanks to the people who've left reviews, and also just to everyone who has come back to this story after the long wait, I am so grateful for your patience.
- Mymlen
Chapter 34
Shafts of golden sunlight poured through the windows of the transfiguration classroom. It was still only early February and outside the wind was sharp and biting cold, but the soft sunlight made it feel like spring was coming closer and the castle seemed warmer and friendlier than it had in months.
Draco sat in the back of the class and watched the airy temple pillars of dust swirling lazily in the sunlight. He was two rows behind Potter. He could see his shoulder move when he took notes and the way the light got caught in the gold-embroidered details on his Gryffindor-uniform. The light played in his hair too, seeming to outline the edges of the messy curls, like Potter was emitting his own soft glow. And messy wasn't really the right word, Draco thought. Usually Potter's hair was a bird's nest and he clearly never even touched it after getting out of bed in the morning, but sometimes the mess managed to look tousled and carelessly elegant instead, and Draco couldn't stop staring or imagining what it would be like run his fingers through it – what it had been like.
It was three days ago that he and Potter had trained with the Dementor-boggart. Three days since he'd kissed him, and Draco hadn't had a chance to talk to him since. He had been going up to the secret room a couple of times, on the off chance that Potter might be there, but he never was and instead Draco had had two very awkward conversations with Potter's friends of mumbled excuses for why he had come and would now leave again. They said there was something Granger wanted him to look at, so he supposed he would have to deal with that at some point, but at the moment he had told them he was busy.
He only needed to get Potter by himself for a few seconds so they could set up a meeting, but there never seemed to be a chance. In one of his more desperate moments, he had considered pulling the detention-trick again, but Potter didn't want people to find out. A second showy classroom fight and subsequent detention probably wouldn't lead anyone to draw the right conclusions, but it might still end up pushing Potter away. The last thing Draco wanted was for him to decide that it was too risky and call it off. Draco wasn't going to fuck it up by calling attention to himself.
He had entertained the thought that perhaps Potter was avoiding him – it wasn't usually this difficult to get a hold of him unnoticed, so maybe Potter was actually trying to make sure that they were never alone. Maybe he regretted what had happened or maybe Draco had misunderstood the things he had said. They hadn't really talked much, after all.
But he didn't really believe that. He had noticed Potter watching him quite a few times, and when Draco looked back at him and caught his eye, he would smile before he turned away. Draco wondered if anyone else noticed. Part of him wished they did, despite Potter wanting it to be secret and Draco knowing that he was right that it was better that way. He knew it was vanity, but he wanted people to see the way Potter looked at him – see that Draco Malfoy was wantable, worthy of a crush. And not just by anyone, by Harry Potter, who could have had whoever he wanted, but had chosen Draco for his hungry eyes.*
"Draco!"
Nott snapped his fingers in front of Draco's eyes because he was that brand of arsehole. Draco shot him a look.
"You're zoning out. We're supposed to discuss the chapter questions."
Draco pulled his book towards him without looking at Nott.
"What page?" he asked.
"You weren't listening at all?"
"I was distracted."
They did group-work for the rest of the lesson and when class was dismissed, Nott wanted them to finish up the last question and Potter was out the door within seconds, just like the rest of the Gryffindors.
Draco didn't see him again the rest of that day.
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*This passage isn't mine, it is a modified version of a description that I've borrowed from Maggie Stiefvater's "Blue lily lily blue" (which is an amazing book that everyone should go read).