Dimitri was conscious that Janine probably had things she wanted to say privately to Rose, so fifteen minutes before the next person was due to arrive he told his beloved he would be back soon and excused himself for a few minutes. After taking the opportunity to use the bathroom, he headed to the Guardian Lounge to pick up some food. Janine would probably be hungry, and others might be too. He found a bag and quickly filled it with packaged sandwiches, fruit and some bottles of water and juice. As he was grabbing supplies Townsend walked in.
"Belikov," he greeted. "I saw your name on the sign-in sheet."
"I've been at the infirmary," Dimitri said, further explanation unnecessary.
"Ah yes. You were her mentor. Any news?"
"She's unconscious, but her vitals are good," Dimitri replied brusquely not elaborating; he wanted to be back with her as quickly as possible and didn't have time to stop for a chat.
Townsend nodded. "She's a special girl, Belikov. Tell her we're all rooting for her. And look after yourself. Let me know if there's anything I can do."
"Thanks, Duncan," Dimitri said, nodding to the older guardian before heading back to the infirmary.
Townsend hoped it worked out with Hathaway and Belikov. As the guardian with the first class in the gym after their morning training sessions, more than once he'd walked in to set up and witnessed their lingering glances as they packed up or headed to their separate showers. Alberta might have wanted to pretend Rose's breakdown was because of Spokane, but he'd been around long enough to recognize a broken heart when he saw one.
Back at the infirmary, Alberta had arrived for the next shift. She and Janine were talking to Rose about when she was little. Standing in the doorway, Dimitri smiled at their recollections of the spirited youngster she'd been.
"Ahh, Dimitri – good you're back. I've spoken with Dr. Olendzki, and we're moving a double bed in here for her. She'll be more comfortable, and since you've made it clear you'll not be leaving her side, it will give you both more room," Alberta said in a matter of fact voice.
Dimitri looked at Janine in surprise, amazed she'd agreed to this.
"Whatever it takes, Belikov. Dr. Olendzki said physical touch could help. They'll be here in a minute, and the doctor will need you to lift Rose onto the new bed," Janine said.
With instructions to be woken if there was any change, Rose's mother took her leave to grab a few hours sleep, Dimitri and Alberta settling in for the next shift. About halfway through they were interrupted when four guardians arrived with a double bed. It took some maneuvering, but in a few minutes it was made up, and Rose was installed, Dimitri half sitting, half lying down beside her, his body pressed up gently against the side of hers, his hand softly stroking her hair.
"Thanks, Alberta," he said gruffly, a little embarrassed to be reclining in bed beside his girl in front of his former Captain. That's if she was still his girl. He knew if they got through this, if she came back to him, he'd have a huge job regaining her trust. But her letter had been encouraging. It was clear she still loved him.
She shrugged. "We thought it was worth a try," she said sadly. "I'm sorry, Dimitri. I dropped the ball on this big time. I thought she was just taking time out and thinking. I had no idea she was even close to doing something like this."
Dimitri sighed. "Don't worry, there's more than enough blame to go around," he said ominously, thinking about his own wrongdoings.
It was such a weird feeling; looking at her own body. She wasn't actually in it, she was above it, but she could see and hear everything that was going on. Right now Alberta and Dimitri were talking. They'd just moved her to a new bed, and Dimitri was lying next to her stroking her hair. It was odd watching the loving way he touched her; the gentle looks he'd give. Alberta and Dimitri weren't saying much at the moment, so she slipped away to think about what she'd heard.
"My mother was there," she said to Mason. She could see him much more clearly, now. He looked the same as he had when they were at school together; red hair, hazel eyes and a cheeky look on his face.
"What's she saying?" he asked. Mason knew Rose's body was still alive, but he couldn't see it or what was going on in the infirmary. He was relying on what Rose was reporting back
"She's gone now, but she was telling me about my father. He's on his way. He and Mom were in love, and it turns out I was wanted," she explained in surprise.
"How does that make you feel?" he probed.
"Happy. They only split because one of his enemies tried to have Mom murdered while she was pregnant with me."
"That's heavy!" Mason commented.
"Yeah. Yeah, it must have been," she said pensively.
"Is there anyone there now?" Mason asked.
"Alberta," she replied. "She's not saying much."
She didn't know why she hadn't told Mason that Dimitri was there. That he was refusing to leave her side, except for brief periods to give the others the opportunity to 'speak' with her privately.
"You don't have to listen, you know," Mason said. "We can go anytime you're ready."
"I know," she whispered. "But I want to hear what they have to say."
Rose knew it worried Mason. She'd made her decision, and she'd stick to it, but it was comforting to hear last words from her loved ones. And it was wonderful to see Dimitri openly affectionate in front of them. He was stroking her hair and candidly kissing her temple and forehead not caring what anyone thought about it. After fighting then hiding how they felt, it was a relief to see he wasn't ashamed of her; at the very back of her mind, there'd always been a thought that just maybe he might have been.
When he'd left, her mother had told her while the timing sucked she approved of Dimitri as her partner. She'd praised him as solid, dependable and everything she'd want as a partner for her daughter. In fact perfect, had he not been her mentor! She'd promised that if Rose came back to them, she'd accept him and not make an issue about them being together. If Rose hadn't already been in the land of the dead, that might have put her there out of pure shock!
Drifting away from Mason she tuned back into what was going on surrounding her body. Alberta was just getting ready to leave, and Christian and Lissa were arriving. It was interesting seeing Dimitri's demeanor change around Lissa and Christian. She thought he'd be most freaked out around Alberta or her Mom, but he seemed to be sweating it more around her friends. He hid it well, but she could tell. She always could with him. If she'd been there, in her body there, she'd probably have pulled him to her to shock them with a steamy kiss. As it was, she watched as her Russian God straightened up a little but held her hand resolutely, looking at the two of them.
"Guardian Belikov," Lissa said, hiding her uncertainty under her polished good manners.
"I think in the circumstances Dimitri is fine," he said mirthlessly.
"Dimitri," she corrected, although Rose could tell it wasn't without effort. "Has there been any change?"
"None," he sighed, looking at her body with the saddest expression. "But I know she's in there. It's like I can feel her just beneath the surface. Can you feel her through the bond?"
"The bond is one way. She can feel me, but I can't feel her," Lissa said. She'd obviously been crying. "Dimitri? I'm so sorry this happened to Rose. It's all my fault."
"Your fault?"
"It's my darkness that did this. I've been practicing spirit, and when I didn't feel the effects, I thought I must not be using too much and that it was ok. But the whole time it was her. She was suffering the side effects, and I was too excited about what I was doing even to notice!"
"Try not to blame yourself," Dimitri said, looking with sympathy at the blonde young woman. "We've all let Rose down."
"So… You and Rose, hey?" Christian asked, in an attempt at levity.
"Yes," Dimitri said formally. "Rose and I. Do you have any questions?"
Watching from above, Rose couldn't help but notice the way Dimitri moved a little closer to her. He was nervous, and it was sweet.
"Maybe you could tell us how it came about?" Lissa suggested.
"I think Rose would prefer to tell you all about it when she's well again. But I will tell you we've both felt it for months, we fought it for a long time, but we spent the days before I left as a couple, and it was the happiest either of us have ever been."
"Why did you fight it?" Christian asked.
Dimitri laughed. Well, it was more of a deprecating snort.
"Let's see… The age difference? The fact I was her mentor? That she isn't yet eighteen? That we were going to be guarding the same Moroi? There were a lot of reasons we shouldn't fall in love."
"But you did," Lissa said sympathetically.
"Yes. We did. I couldn't not love her?" Dimitri asked apologetically.
Lissa was opening her mouth to ask more, but Christian silenced her with a look. Lissa might not have twigged Dimitri was uncomfortable talking about this, but Christian did.
"We both think it's wonderful. I know I muck around a lot, but Rose has become like a sister to me. I know you didn't leave her out of choice, and we can see how much you still care. I'm already planning lots of 'sleeping with the teacher' jokes for when she wakes up, but don't take it to heart – we're happy she has you."
Dimitri gave the younger man a tight smile.
"Thanks, Christian. But she might not want me when she comes back. I hurt her badly by not telling her the truth about why I left. I just hope she can forgive me and give me the chance to show her my feelings haven't altered. I love her, and I can't see that ever changing. Now I can only hope she'll come back to me so I can prove that."
Rose could see he was genuine. It showed in his every word and action.
"Then why did you leave her? Especially for my aunt?" Christian asked.
"Alberta found out about us, and if it had become widely known it would have ruined Rose's life. She could have kissed her career and reputation goodbye. I couldn't do that to her. I had to get off campus as soon as possible, and your aunt's offer still stood. I told her it was only until May and only as a friend."
"Did Rose know you'd been discovered? Surely if you'd told her, she would have understood?" Christian asked, perplexed.
"I didn't tell her. You need to appreciate, Christian; life is very different for dhampir and guardians in particular. Relationships are actively discouraged and almost universally derided. I worried that if I told Rose the truth, she would have fought the system and told everyone about us, to her own detriment. Of course, now I'd give anything to have had that outcome," he said self-mockingly. "I don't care who knows I love her, now. And if she comes back to me, I'll scream it from the top of every building on campus if she wants me to," he concluded with a sad smile.
"Play truth or dare against her and you might end up having to," Christian laughed, dissolving the tension and changing the topic.
The three of them chatted for a while. It was awkward, but Christian proved himself to have a sensitivity and skill for steering the conversation through the muddy waters. After an hour or so Christian thought he and Dimitri could go and pick some flowers for Rose. Dimitri nodded, suggesting Lissa take his place on the bed.
Lissa cuddled into Rose the moment the guys left, dissolving into tears.
"I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please come back Rose! I love you so much. I'm so sorry. Sorry for everything. I had no idea about you and Dimitri. I would never have said those things about him and Tasha if I had! I know why you didn't tell me, and I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't fall in love because of me. But Rose? I want you to fall in love. I want you to be happy. I know we always talked about you being my guardian, but if it comes to being my guardian and being unhappy, or being my best friend and sharing your joy with me, I want my best friend!
"I want to know all about you and Dimitri! I want to hear all the lovey dovey details! I want to double date, and see you excited before he comes to pick you up. I want to see you fall head over heels and share every bit of it with you! If you still want to be my guardian then maybe Dimitri could be Christian's? We'll be going to uni and living together, so if you wanted to you could too? Christian and I won't care that you're in love and together, and that way you wouldn't be guarding the same person? Or if you decide not to guard anymore, or guard someone else, that's ok too. I just don't want to lose your friendship, Rose, and I want you to be happy!
"I'm going to try to stop using my magic, too. I can't use it knowing it's hurting you. I love you, Rose. I've been such a burden to you. You've carried me for so long, and I want you to know that stops now. Please give me the chance to repay you? I want to look after you now. I know you're sad, and you wouldn't have done this if you thought things would get better, but I promise you they will. There's still so much for us to share."
Rose watched as Lissa curled up to her, pouring her heart out. It was the first time she'd genuinely acknowledged Rose's sacrifices, and while she supposed it was too late, now, she was touched. She and Lissa hadn't been on the same page for a while, but here she could see the Liss she knew and loved. And the stupid thing was, she wanted to tell her all about Dimitri! About the stolen kisses and the lust charm and finally their weekend away.
"Hello," Christian said walking back into the room, seeing Lissa on her side curled up against Rose. The latter looked like she was just peacefully sleeping. Lissa gave Rose a careful kiss on the cheek, whispering she couldn't wait to hear all about her and Dimitri when she woke up, before climbing off the bed and walking around to sit next to Christian. Dimitri had a bunch of delicate flowers that looked suspiciously like they might have been purloined from the Academy's hothouse, it being February and all. Sitting back down beside Rose he brought the fragrant bunch to her nose so she could smell them.
"The next flowers I bring you, you'll be awake milaya," he promised. "I want to share all those romantic things with you."
Lissa looked at Dimitri sadly. She couldn't imagine how worried and guilty he must be feeling right now. She was wracking her brain for something comforting to say, but nothing was forthcoming.
"Gee, guys. How about some smiles? She won't want to come back to all these long faces," Adrian said, peering into the room. He came in and kissed Lissa on the cheek, nodding his head at Christian and Dimitri. "How's our beautiful dhampir going?" he continued, coming to give Rose a kiss on the forehead.
Dimitri bristled a little.
"Calm down big boy, I'm just being friendly," Adrian said flopping into the recliner beside Rose's bed. Dimitri could smell the liquor on Adrian's breath. He shuddered because he could still smell remnants of it on Rose's too.
"We'll take off now," Christian said looking warily at Dimitri and Adrian. "We'll be back in a few hours."
"Any change?" Adrian asked.
"None. But I can feel her. I think she's with us," Dimitri said, reclining on his side on the bed and draping his arm protectively over her. "Can you try and talk to her again? It's been hours, and it's killing me not knowing how she's feeling."
"I'll try," said Adrian closing his eyes. He'd known Dimitri would ask him to speak with Rose; that's why he'd had enough alcohol to dull the darkness but not enough to stop him from using his magic.
"Hello little Dhampir," he said. He couldn't see her, but she felt closer than last time.
"Adrian," she said, sounding pleased to hear him.
"I can't stay long, it's using a lot of spirit to speak with you, and it took a lot when I helped Lissa heal you. Are you going to come back to us?"
"I don't know, Adrian." Her emotions were all over the place. "I promised Mason, and I don't want to let him down, but I don't want to hurt my family and friends. I don't want to hurt him."
Adrian's heart sunk. It all came back to Belikov. Of course it did.
"Dimitri needs you, Rose. Look at him. He won't leave your side, and he's worrying himself stupid."
"But he left me."
"He didn't want to."
"But he still did."
"Give him a chance, Rose. Most people never find a love like yours. I see auras - I know! He loves you, and you love him. I know you're worried he'll hurt you again, but I don't think he will. Trust him. Give us, your family and friends, a chance. We all love you and need you, Rose."
"I'll think about it," she said.
"Do you love him?" Adrian asked.
"It's not that simple," she replied.
"I disagree. It really is that simple, Rose. You have a chance at an epic love affair. You just have to take it."
Adrian felt a little surge of affection from her as she slipped away from him and he came back to his body.