A/N: Thank you for all your supportive and helpful comments, they mean a lot to me! Enjoy!
"Why don't you just get out of here?" There was an edge to Shiki's voice that Izaya had never heard before. Borderline sarcastic with metallic sharpness, his tone was dripping with frustration.
Izaya said nothing. He took a seat on a rickety wooden chair in the corner of the room. The florescent light that hung above them made him feel oddly sick somehow. For the first time, he wondered what this room was usually used for. His stomach churned.
"I know none of my men mean anything to you. And I know that he certainly doesn't eith—"
Shiki stopped, mouth still open, cigarette in hand, and stared into Izaya's eyes. Izaya himself was surprised that his own expression had apparently given something away. He had been trying his best to appear completely neutral, completely calm. Betraying nothing. Apparently, he hadn't fooled the man in front of him.
"He does."
"What makes you say that?" Izaya's own voice sounded unfamiliar to him, as if it was coming from someone far away, echoing toward him instead of away from him.
"You're still here. You wouldn't still be here if you didn't…care about him."
Izaya still wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to lie, after all, that was who he was. A liar. He lied to everyone, even himself. However, he couldn't bring himself to lie about this, most likely because he was too confused to even know what he was lying about. Instead, he went with a sort of deflection, a scoff.
"Why would I care about a monster like him?"
It was a weak response, and he knew it, but he didn't want to confirm or deny anything.
Shiki surprised him when he emitted a loud, hardy laugh.
"Oh please, what makes him a monster, exactly? What makes him any more monstrous than you or me?"
"Violence, inability to understand reason, stupidity…do you want me to keep going?" Izaya had said similar words dozens, maybe even hundreds of times, but this was the first time that they had seemed wrong. A small part of him felt ill.
"Heiwajima isn't violent. He isn't unreasonable. He isn't stupid," Shiki paused and with a smile, looked Izaya right in the eye, "and I think you know that all of this, every bit of it, is true."
The realization hit Izaya like a bullet to the brain. He knew. Of course he knew. He just didn't let himself feel it. The paper in his pocket burned now more than ever. PROJECTION. How long had he known? How many other people knew that he loved Shizuo Heiwajima and had buried that love under intense loathing and disgust? He didn't hate Shizuo. He was not repulsed by him. Deep down, he hated himself. He found himself repulsive.
"Fear," Shiki's smile had become incredibly sly , "that's why we do what we do, right? You know that too."
"He doesn't deserve this." As emotional as Izaya now felt, his words were smooth and serious.
"What are you gonna do about it? Look at us. I'm okay, but you…a dislocated shoulder and a concussion. What can either of us do against them?"
"I've figured it out. What they really want."
Shiki crushed the cigarette in an ashtray and leaned forward, suddenly attentive.
"They don't care about your men or about Shizuo. They want you…no, they want the entire Awakusu organization. And," he paused and took a deep breath, "they want me too."
Izaya stood. The room spun slightly around him. Even though the pain in his head had mostly subsided, he still felt dizzy and even a little nauseous.
"Do you care about your men?"
"Of course." Shiki appeared to be almost offended that Izaya would ask such a question.
"You're right, Shiki, I do care about Shizuo. I want to save him."
"And how do you propose doing that?"
"As you know, I've dealt with one of these people beforehand. Akito. If others in this organization are similar to him, I don't think you should assume that we'll all die."
Shiki raised an eyebrow.
"Akito could have easily killed me in my apartment, but he didn't. He talked to me for a while before he knocked me out, and seemingly only did so because he needed to—presumably—bug my computer and phone. However—" he stopped, suddenly being hit by another realization. Slowly, he sank back down onto the chair.
"What?"
"They planned it, all of it," said Izaya so softly that it was almost a whisper.
"What was that?"
"Shiki, do you have detailed background records on all your members?"
"Of course we do."
"I mean physical copies. Not just on the computer."
"Yes, they're in a vault in a room down the hall."
"I need to see one. Right now."
It had taken a few moments for Izaya to convince Shiki to get Hiro Igurashi's documents, but after he reminded him that they were running out of time, he obliged. After all, the man was dead. How much damage could Izaya cause by simply knowing about his past?
As soon as the papers arrived in the hands of a nervous-looking Awakusu grunt, Izaya devoured them with his eyes. His pulse thudded in his head. He could almost feel the blood rushing throughout his body. With every word he took in, his heart seemed to beat just a little bit faster. Then, when he read the section on his family, his heart seemed to stop altogether.
"These would say if Igurashi had step-siblings, right?" Asked Izaya, just to be safe.
"Of course. They're very detailed."
Izaya let out a laugh, the full gravity of the situation washing over him. He felt a certain glee that he only felt whenever he was incredibly entertained. Entertained by his precious humans. He fought an urge to toss the papers in the air. When he looked up at Shiki, he saw that he still didn't understand.
"Hiro Igurashi, born July 15th, 1988 in Itabashi to Shu and Hikari Igurashi. He had a younger brother, Jun. His parents are still together, and he had no other siblings."
About halfway through Izaya's sentence, Shiki appeared to realize what he was getting at. His eyes went wide.
"S-sugiyama—"
"I doubt that's her real name."
Shiki was speechless.
"They planned everything. They knew that if they started killing your people, you'd consult me. They figured out what time we planned to meet. They might have even tipped Shizuo off somehow that I'd be in town. They planted Tamayo Sugiyama in that alley. Her injuries were real. I suspect that she might have even volunteered for the job. That's some determination, don't you think? I wonder which one of us she hates…"
He waited a minute to see if Shiki would say something, but he still looked incredibly shocked, mouth opened just slightly, eyes still wide.
"Last night, it was no coincidence that Shizuo and I were attacked around the same time. They knew Shizuo would suspect that I was behind it, storm into my apartment, see me unconscious and bring me to Shinra. Thus, they forced us to begin working together. They killed three more of your members and left them in your office both to make you more emotional and to make Shizuo and I come to you. Then, they kidnapped him and few more of your members in order to finally force us to confront them. They want us, Shiki, and who knows how long they've been watching us, planning the right moments to strike. It must have been months, maybe even years. In a way, I admire their dedication. It's almost flattering."
A silence fell over the room, ominous and heavy. Izaya's brain still whirred away. He felt so many things all at once. Exhilaration. Anxiety. Even anger. It took Shiki at least five minutes to speak, and even then, he kept his words short.
"What are we going to do?"
"The only thing there is left to do," Izaya grinned, "save them."