A/N: I am so, so sorry about how long it took me to finish this chapter! I usually try to update at least once a month, but I totally failed this time. I've had a busy summer, and seeing as I'm going on vacation in a couple days and have literally no free time for the next month, I really wanted to post this tonight. Anyway, thank you and I hope you enjoy!

The much needed sleep brought nightmares with it. They were swirling, hazy nightmares that danced through Izaya's mind with malice; taunting him. Some of them had basis in reality, but even the ones that didn't, still seemed so lifelike. One moment he was watching Aoi and Akito being swept across the storage room, the next he was being chased down the streets of Ikebukuro by some sort of monster. It wasn't large or muscular. It was dark and tall with wide, sharp shoulders and pointed feet. Maybe it wasn't a monster, but a human. Izaya wasn't sure. Its arms stretched out at unnatural angles, its wide grin was crooked and feral. Claws slashed out at him. Or maybe they were nails. Whatever the creature was, it was deeply, soul-shockingly terrifying. Izaya's veins had tuned to ice upon seeing it. His heart raced as he ran, looking back every now and then to see the humanoid monster gaining on him as the streetlights illuminated its shadowy skin. Did it have skin? Scales?

Suddenly, the nightmare had changed again. He found himself in what appeared to be a green, grassy field. The sky above him was slate gray and unmoving. Light, misty rain coated his skin and dusted his hair. A muffled sound came from something behind him, low and foreboding. He turned. The noise had been a voice. Shiki stood before him, eyes downcast. He wore a black suit and a sympathetic expression. He had continued to speak, but Izaya couldn't hear what he was saying; it was as if Izaya was underwater and Shiki was trying to talk to him from land. He opened his own mouth, but no words came out. It was at that moment he realized that he wasn't actually in a field. Gravestones stuck out of the grass like rotten, unpicked vegetables. There was a large pile of dirt behind Shiki. Izaya instantly knew what had happened. Acid burned in his throat, something sharp dug into his heart. No…no…no…

His eyes sprung open. Sweat covered his skin, from his forehead to the soles of his feet. His heart pounded. His mouth opened as his lungs greedily gulped in air as fast as they could. Izaya kicked off the blanket and rose to a sitting position. He was alone. Was this a dream too? He didn't have time to dwell on this thought because a second later, the door opened revealing a haggard-looking Celty. Her shoulders were slumped, her footsteps slower and lazier than usual. Izaya swallowed. His heart sank.

He's awake, read the screen of her phone when she held it out to his face. They were the two most beautiful words he had ever seen.

"Can I see him?" Izaya asked. Celty's neck flexed back and forth; the closest thing to a nod she could manage. As he stood, butterflies began to flutter in his stomach. He was relieved, of course, but his uncontainable nervousness had eclipsed the joy he had instantly felt upon receiving the news.

Celty led him down the corridor to the same room Shizuo had been in before. Izaya's blood ran cold as she opened the door.

Shizuo was lying, slightly propped up in bed. His eyes were open, staring dully at the ceiling; his hands were folded over his stomach, fingers intertwined with each other. Wires stuck out from underneath the blankets, connecting him to a variety of machines that surrounded him. An IV to his right dripped, slowly and dutifully a few times every minute. He was here. He was alive.

The few seconds it took for Izaya to walk to his bedside seemed like an eternity. Every step took minutes, maybe even hours. Izaya had lost all sense of time.

Shizuo's eyes flicked in his direction, but his expression didn't change at all. His clouded over pupils gave nothing away. His mouth was pressed into a hard line.

Izaya gingerly sat at his bedside, resting his hand lightly on the sheets, as close to Shizuo as he dared. The silence that washed over them was nauseating.

"How are you feeling?" Izaya's throat was dry, and the words came out in a raspy tone.

Shizuo shut his eyes. Izaya wasn't sure if he was contemplating the question or if he was too exhausted to speak. Even the man's very skin seemed exhausted; pale and limp like a ghost. There were dark crescent moons etched into the areas below his eyes. Izaya looked over at Celty, silently pleading with her to tell him what he should do. Comforting people was not his specialty. She shrugged. Despite her lack of a head, she seemed to be staring into his soul, as if she were trying to pass on some valuable piece of wisdom. A moment later, she left. Izaya couldn't be sure why, but he was pretty sure she did so that he would have to deal with this situation on his own. No one could help him. He was the only one who could atone for his sins.

"I'm sorry," Izaya said in a whisper. Shizuo's eyes snapped open. He looked at him, lips parted as if surprised. Seeing him, pained and broken in a hospital bed caused words to flood out of Izaya like a typhoon. "I don't know where to begin. I don't know how I can possibly apologize for what I've done to you. I don't know if there's anything I can ever do to make anything up to you. The violence. The anguish. I've destroyed you. Why? How could I do this? I projected my own monstrosity upon you, a human being; a kind, good human being, because it was so much easier to see you as a monster than it was to see myself as one. And it was so much easier to see you as an enemy than it was to see you as a…" Izaya trailed off, suddenly aware of how much he had been babbling. He didn't know what their relationship was anymore. No longer enemies, but not quite friends and certainly not lovers either.

The fingers on Shizuo's left hand began to twitch. Izaya watched as he slowly, shakily lifted the hand and brought it down just a centimeter away from Izaya's own hand. With his heart pounding and cheeks flushed, Izaya intertwined his fingers with Shizuo's. Both of their hands were clammy and bruised, but warm, so very, very warm. When Izaya looked back up, Shizuo's eyes were closed again; his chest rose and fell steadily. Izaya took in his sleeping face. It was so peaceful. Even with his injuries and sickly skin, he looked so calm, maybe even happy. Izaya smiled. He knew that one apology wasn't enough to repair what he had done, but it was a start.

The heart monitor beeped slowly. Footprints echoed from down the hall. Shizuo breathed deeply. Izaya watched, and began to inhale and exhale in unison with him. In that moment, that one peaceful, quiet moment, everything seemed fine; everything seemed beautiful.

"I love you."