Oh my word. One chapter and an epilogue, and we're done! Not sure I can cope with that. What am I going to do with my life?
Thank you so, so much for all your wonderful feedback and support with this story. Slightly shorter but intense chapter here. I hope you enjoy... And thank you again.
"I don't know-I can't just-I don't..."
"Alice!" The doctor's eyes are full of pity and disbelief. "The man enslaved you, girl. He raped you. He took everything away from you."
Alice shakes her head and paces the room. What kind of friend would have her taking this sort of decision?
"I can't just make this decision right now! Why are you-why would you ask me this? I can't decide now!"
She hides her face behind the newspaper in her hand, covers her mouth with the back of her hand. Her eyes are wide, hallucinated.
She stares back at the doctor.
"Why didn't you just kill him already, if you're so sure he deserves to die? Why wait for me?"
The doctor shrugs, seems confused. The both of them remain silent for a while.
"I guess I just wasn't strong enough," he says, finally. "A monster remains frightening even in his sleep."
Alice is suddenly grabbed by a surge of affection for the old doctor. They're the same, the two of them. Very different, yes, but he's her reflection, he's the only one whose madness makes sense to her. He is sad, broken, filled with sorrow, and that's the reason why he drowns it all in drugs and mushrooms, just like Alice is doing with Vaas' crazy fantasy,the one that pictures her as a kindly mermaid with rainbow eyes. His bullshit is her dulling drug. She is moved, and cannot hold his gaze any longer. Both turn to stare silently at Vaas' unmoving form.
"Can I get some time alone with him? I need to think about this. He deserves to die, but..."
But I don't deserve to become a murderer.
Alec nods, picks up a few bits of bloodied bandages and leaves. Alice listens to his footsteps down the wooden stairs, hears him exchange a couple of words with Carlos. The two of them walk out onto the porch.
She turns to the silent body next to her. Even half dead, it's as if the temperature rises just by his being around. It's the first time she's ever looked down on him. He seems taller, strangely, though his face, stripped from the usual anger or mockery, seems foreign, barely recognisable. His top has been cut off, his chest is wrapped in bandages. Dark chest hairs show under them.
Alice pulls one of the little pink chairs, sits on it by the patient' side. The fan is spinning above them, its blades running an endless circle, like a flying hatchet that never lands.
"See this?" She asks, is relieved by his silence. "It's a newspaper. It's the Times. It came last week, with one of your latest victims."The young woman starts flicking through the massive pages. "There's been ah... A little girl has been found dead, they suspect her uncle. A Kardashian is getting married. There's a big sale on. Some politician said something really sexist, and a famous actor said something racist. Social media is on both cases. Cyber bullying is getting out of control, and so is child obesity. Big companies aren't paying taxes. Teachers are being blamed for everything. Apparently, a report showed that the police is failing to record over half of sexual assault cases. Flooding in the north. It's the hottest year ever, they say."
She chuckles, it sounds empty to her own ears.
"You know, I'm pretty sure they say that every year."
He remains silent, and Alice folds up the paper, puts it to the side.
"Every year. The same story, again and again, every year. It's insane, isn't it?"
Silence.
"Can you hear me?"
Silence.
"I hope you can hear me. You know what? I really, really, bloody hope you can hear me!" Her voice is picking up, her heart beating faster. "I hope you heard everything. Because this is what you do to people, Vaas, you contaminate them with your crazy and you make them feel like doing all sorts of crazy things." Her fingers are like spider legs, all crooked, her eyes wide and mad.
She stands, walks to him. She is mad, scared, but she needs to keep her voice down if she wants to avoid getting Carlos' attention.
"Did you ever even think about how scared I was? Did you? That day on the beach, about a year ago, when you grabbed me, held me down, enslaved me? Left me on my own for days, free to imagine the worst, too scared to eat or even sleep? No, you didn't. You never once thought about me. It was all about you, and what you fancied becoming next, wasn't it? You made me talk to a dead head. You made me eat a person. You made me kill. You made me believe that I was lucky, bloody lucky to be alive, lucky to be allowed to swim, as if I was some dog you took on a walk!"
He still isn't reacting, which is good, because Alice is unable to stop herself now. It's as if someone has opened a tap somewhere in her mind, and the words are pouring out, in an unstoppable, destructive flow.
"You manipulated me, you killed my friends, you made me think I had a choice when you took everything away from me, you made me-you-you made me want to sleep with you, as if I could have chosen not to!"
There are tears rolling down her cheeks now, she's too angry to be embarrassed.
"You twisted the meaning of love. You think this is love?" A mad laugh. "This is torture. You. destroyed. me!" Her face is close to his now, his sleeping face, and just as violently as the anger has taken over Alice's head, a powerful rush of tenderness washes it all away, and she is left confused, upset, not recognising herself. His full lips look attractive in his sleep. His face is relaxed, quiet. The scar on his head tells a sad story.
"You destroyed life for me. You destroyed love. You've twisted everything I've ever believed, you've destroyed every single barrier I had, every single limit I set myself. Because of you, and your sick, manipulative ways, I'm a murderer, a traitor, a lover."
That last word doesn't belong where it spawned, but Alice is too far gone to realise what she is saying.
"And I could kill now, Vaas, now you're nothing, you're down, what's it like to be at my mercy, huh? Should I give you a choice? Strike a deal with you? Don't fight me, and I'll kill you quick. Huh? What do you say? How's that for a fucking deal?!"
She jumps to her feet, throws the newspaper in anger. Paces the room, grabbing at her hair. Her fucked up hair. She laughs, sobs, stops.
"You destroyed life for me." She repeats, more calmly. "You destroyed it, Vaas, do you understand?" She walks to him, grabs the bedpost, pleading to him. "Now I can't live again. I can't be alive again. If you die, Vaas, how am I ever going to be alive again?"
She's fully crying, now, and hides her face in her hand. She hears a breath catching and knows it isn't her own, but she refuses to look at him.
"I don't deserve to be a murderer. I don't deserve to have to take this decision. I deserve to be alive. I've fought for this. I survived. I survived you. You're a fucking cancer and I won't kill you, Vaas, I can't. I am... Oh god! It's fucked up, isn't it? I am reborn. I'm alive now, and I can't go back, and it's all your fault!"
She looks up finally, to find two green eyes staring right back at her. They're half shut, hardly there at all, but he must be conscious. He swallows, his eyes glassy. She gives him the hardest, most hateful look she can muster.
"Congratulations." She says, cold as frost. "You live, and I love."
Without another word, Alice wipes her tears, stands, and leaves the room.
She doesn't stop until she reaches the front living room. The table is set, with steaming cups of tea, like some ridiculous tea party, ridiculous because who would drink tea in this heat, and what pirates drink tea out of lovely little porcelain cups?
She snorts, still shaking from her outburst. Her heart has started constricting, and she cannot dismiss the look of pure hurt and sorrow on Vaas' face as she'd walked away from him. She's hurt him for real, and it pains her more than it should. He's alone with his pain now.
"Alec?" She calls, harshly, because it helps with the self loathing. "Carlos?"
Before walking out, Alice is struck by a flash of genius and she pinches the tender skin of her inner arm, hard, then grabs a plaster from Alec's desk and covers it. She steps outside and finds them both near the greenhouse, arguing quietly. They both look up as she arrives, the doctor has an expectant look.
"Vaas will be fine." She declares, waves her bruised arm. "Transfusion went fine. Everyone's fine. Why are you two arguing?"
There's no arguing with her, that much is clear, and Carlos is the first to respond.
"The good doctor here is hiding people. Women."
"I most certainly...!"
"He fucking is. He's been doing for a while. It's fucking obvious." He says that to her, and it sounds like a reproach. Carlos isn't an idiot, and he's probably figured out that she knew the doctor was hiding something, and that she's been protecting her good friend. To support his accusation, Carlos grabs something that Alec was clearly trying to hide behind his back, and throws it at Alice's feet.
Sanitary towels.
"I don't know about you, sirenita, but I'm ready to bet they're the two American girls Vaas has been hunting for weeks. Brody's friends, you know what I mean?" The pirate shakes his head in disbelief, smiling all kinds of crazy. "You fucking piece of...!"
He reaches for the doctor's throat, and Alice jumps in, trying to break up the fight. She is hit by an elbow, Alec lets out a pained cry and Carlos has his face scratched, when all three suddenly freeze. There's rattling up the hillside. They turn. A cloud of dust softly elevates nearby, on the road. Someone is coming, and it sure as fuck isn't a pirate.
Alec pushes Carlos off.
"The Rakyat!" He whispers frantically.
Carlos reaches for his belt, for the gun he's left inside on the coffee table.
"Let's get in!" Commands Alice. "Alec you talk to them, give them what they want, and don't you dare say anything about any of us!"
This means Vaas too, and Alice is almost in tears at the thought that is would be the perfect way of getting into Jason's and Citra's good books. Give over the Americans, hand in Vaas. There is no time to think though, and Alice pulls Carlos inside the house. The two of them grab their weapons and climb upstairs, run past Vaas' body and kneel near the window just as the car stops in front of the mansion. Three warriors step out, machine guns in hand. Follows a conversation during which Alec keeps his hands up, palms open, then points at the area down the cliff. Another car arrives, and four more warriors step out. The three Rakyat that arrived first set off towards the cliff, and the other four point their guns at Alec. One looks up to the windows, and Carlos and Alice quickly lower their heads. Alice plays with the AK-47 in her arms, cradled like a newborn baby. Carlos is giving her a murderous look.
When they dare looking up again, there are not two, but four Americans being led up the hill. Two women and two men. They look scared, and are roughly shoved into a van that has arrived too. The van departs, and Alec looks like he is about to try and argue, when he is hit across the face with a gun. He falls to the floor, and following a quick instruction from the warrior in charge, a Rakyat arms then shoulders his weapon, pointing it at the doctor.
Alice stands, and the window bursts in flashes of crystal-like chimes. The Rakyat jumps a few feet as the bullets hit him, and Alec runs towards the house. Carlos swears.
All hell breaks loose.