Chapter 43

When he lifted his head from the kiss that had been more gentle than passionate, Dijana sighed and burrowed her face into his neck to breathe in his scent. "Stryfe," she whispered softly. "I had a terrible dream."

He sifted his fingers into her hair and tilted her head up so he could kiss her again. "Do not call me Stryfe," he murmured against her lips. "I am Taeron. Say my name, Dijana."

"No. I do not want that." Dijana turned her head away from him, but he brushed her neck with his lips and she shivered as he slipped his hand inside the part of her silky robe to caress her. This was not how she remembered being with him on Norvana when she had worn a coarse tunic that she had taken from one of the servants at the palace before Avar had dragged her to the transport waiting to take her to meet Lord Taeron. She had hoped that the Calabrian warlord would reject her the moment he saw her, but the mistaken identity seemed to work more to her advantage. Or so she had thought.

This was surely a dream because everything that had happened since the day Stryfe – Taeron – had left her at this pond had been reality, not a nightmare from which she could awaken. And with the realization that this was a dream came the memory of Kai's words, that he would invade her dreams when she was with her mate. But as Stryfe – Taeron! - touched her, he made her forget about the threat of her Varoonyan master. He covered her mouth with his, and as he slid his hand lower inside the fine garment, his touch made her shiver and move restlessly against him. He knew well how to please her and soon enough he had her crying out his name, not the name of his brother.

When she could form a coherent thought again, she wanted to reciprocate, so she kissed him eagerly and fumbled with his clothing until she found what she sought, but she was surprised to find that he was unresponsive.

Raising her head, she looked at his face. "You do not want me?" When had he ever shown a flagging desire in the many times they had mated? She had even wondered if he was always in a state of need, but now his body did not react at all to her touch.

"I cannot," he murmured with his lips close to her ear. "Let me please you, Dijana."

He already had very well, but he did not give her a chance to protest before rolling her onto her back and kissing her lips, then her neck before moving lower. She gasped in shock as he continued, but she did not, could not stop him, and when she shuddered in pleasure again, he slid back over her and held her in his arms. There was only the sound of her ragged breathing for several moments, and Dijana was content to lie in his strong, warm embrace. She would have preferred a different ending to this wonderful dream, but she was not going to complain when her lover was so eager to please her.

"I am sorry, Dijana, that I was not honest with you."

Her brows drew together and she raised her head to look at him. "Why do you apologize to me in my dreams?" She shook her head. "I do not want to dream of this." The Taeron of her dream was ruining her enjoyment.

"We do not choose our dreams," he told her softly.

A cold, harsh voice interrupted her dream.

"So, warrior, you are a philosopher as well as a trained killer."

Startled, Dijana scrambled up from Taeron's embrace and she spun to see Kai standing only steps away holding his sword ready to fight.

The Varoonyan warlord smirked at her. "Thank you, my sweet Dijana, for bringing this dog to me so that I might slay him in this place of dreams."

"No!" she cried out although she knew it was just a dream and that she would awaken in the morning to find herself safe in her bed. She looked frantically for Chaela, but she had not come to protect her.

A hand on her arm drew her attention to Taeron and she saw that he had in his hand the bejeweled long sword that she had last seen dripping blood. "I will deal with this bastard once and for all." He gently pushed Dijana behind him.

Kai's mocking laughter curdled her blood. "No, Calabrian, I will deal with you and once I have, Prince Staefyn will be very pleased."

Taeron had raised his long blade before him, but he did not respond as he gazed without blinking at his opponent. Dijana remembered seeing him use his sword on the battlefield from far away, but that was nothing compared to the terrifying spectacle of him ready to fight Kai.

Kai attacked, but Taeron easily blocked his blow and countered with one of his own that Kai managed to sidestep before swinging again.

Dijana scrambled to the far side of the pond out of the way of the deadly blades that swung and parried, throwing off sparks with the force of their blows. She was dismayed to realize that Taeron appeared to be evenly matched against the Varoonyan warlord and by the concentration on Kai's face, he was not pleased to find the hero of Varoonya more skilled than he had imagined. Less capable warriors would have fallen into the pond already, but both men moved nimbly without even looking at their feet, skipping over stones, leaping from one bank to another as their swords clashed. Raised on a planet where men fought in the air, Dijana could only watch their deadly dance in horrified awe.

She did not know how they could keep up the fight when both men used incredible speed that did not seem to slow. Dijana wanted to wake up, to leave this nightmare, but she could not. Taeron tried to move the fight away from where she cowered against the trunk of a tree while Kai worked to back him into her. Dijana dared not move when their swords did not cease their lethal arcs towards each other.

Suddenly, Taeron stumbled and Kai swiped his sword at him with careless surprise when he left himself open to his attack. Dijana cried out, frightened that Kai would kill him, even in this dream that had become a nightmare from which she could not awaken. But Taeron did not pause as he sprang up and she watched as he twisted in the air high above Kai before coming down behind the Varoonyan to land near her, his sword raised. Kai was exposed, and Taeron was going to kill him. Her heart soared with joy because she knew that she would finally be released from the Varoonyan's control.

But Kai was not done controlling her yet. "Dijana!" growled Kai, his voice rumbling through her to compel her to act with no will of her own.

Unable to fight his hold on her she threw herself against Taeron, and wrapped her arms around his legs. Her action stunned Taeron long enough to keep him from killing Kai, and the Varoonyan took advantage of his surprise to raise his sword and bring it down on his opponent. But Taeron bent back so fast and so far that she was surprised that he did not fall, and the blow that would have sliced him in half, swiped across Taeron's body. Blood sprayed into the air, and when Kai quickly recovered to ready another killing blow, Dijana used his distraction to throw off Kai's control to force Taeron sideways into the frigid water of the pond where the Varoonyan could not reach him.

For several moments she could not breathe and when she was able to break the surface of the pond, she drew a deep breath into her burning lungs and although she was shivering from the cold, she was not soaking wet because she was no longer at the pond on Norvana. She was in her own bed, finally awake from the awful nightmare. Her heart pounding erratically, she was relieved until she heard a startled cry.

"Taeron!"

Dijana was shocked to see Prince Amyr lunging towards her bed, and turning quickly she saw Taeron lying still beside her. Blood was rapidly soaking his tunic from the wound Kai had given him in her dream. He was not even breathing, and Dijana was afraid he was dead until Amyr reached him and seized his hands. Taeron suddenly sat up and took a deep breath as if he had been under water.

Dijana looked from Taeron to Amyr, and for a moment she was confused until she realized what had happened and she was infuriated.

"You put me in a trance!" she accused Amyr and then glared at Taeron, avoiding looking at the crimson soaking his tunic where she had seen Kai split his flesh. "You let him!" Dijana was sure she was going to be sick with the realization that what had happened in her dream was as real as if it had happened in this room.

"I agreed to it!" he snapped irritably with no shame for having tricked her. "I did not expect to be attacked."

"No! You expected to seduce me!" Furious and hurt, she lunged at him to strike him, but he caught her wrists and shoved her back against the bed.

Leaning over her, his eyes were like dark blue fire. "You protected that bastard!"

Her pounding heart seemed to skip a beat. "I … I did not have a choice!" Despite her anger, she wanted to cry. He was pale and trembling, and while he did not show it, he must surely be in pain.

When he released her and swung out of the bed, tears made him blur in her vision as she watched Amyr go to him quickly and tear off his tunic to expose the flesh that had been cut open by Kai's blade. Seeing the wound almost made her physically sick.

"What happened?" Amyr demanded as he used the torn tunic to try to staunch the flow of blood from the wound that began at his shoulder and angled across his body to the opposite hip. If Taeron hadn't been able to move, Kai would have sliced him in half.

The door opened and Chaela hurried in and seeing Dijana first, she exclaimed in horror. "Dijana! Are you all right?" Taeron's blood soaked her robe and smeared her skin where he had touched her. Before she could answer, Chaela noticed her brother trying to heal the wound from which blood surged over his hands. "Taeron! By the gods! What has happened?"

"Warlord Kai attacked me," he told her although he was wincing from the pain as Amyr used his healing powers. A sweat had broken out over his deathly pale flesh. "By the gods! Isn't that supposed to feel good?"

Amyr grimaced at him. "I am not that skilled yet." He looked over his shoulder at Chaela. "Come and help me sister."

"I told you not to do it!" cried Chaela in frustration as she joined her brother.

"But you did not stop him!" Dijana was hurt by Chaela's betrayal.

When Chaela met her gaze, Dijana saw tears in her eyes. "I thought if you had a chance to speak to him ..."

"There was little speaking," Dijana told her tartly with a glare at Taeron. He met her look with a self-satisfied smirk until he winced as Chaela joined her brother in attempting to seal the wound.

Dijana wanted to lash out at him, to tell him that he had his own ineptitude to thank for his pain, but only his godly agility had saved his life when she had helped Kai. She had almost caused his death and if he had died in that trance because of her, she never would have been able to live with it. In the past Kai had used his power over her to humiliate her, but now she knew exactly what he was capable of making her do and she was horrified that he could make her act against the man she loved. She would not be free of him until he was dead, and Taeron would have killed him had she not betrayed him.

The door suddenly burst open and guards poured in with swords raised. When they were satisfied that there was no danger, they parted to allow Queen Neria to enter. She spared Dijana a brief glance that did not betray her thoughts before she looked at Taeron for whom she did not hide her disgust.

"I do not know about your mating habits on Calabria, but swordplay and bloodletting does not usually lead to pleasure here," she said with a sniff. "You are completely inept as a lover!"

"I think he misunderstood my instruction," Dijana heard Amyr mumble under his breath.

"By the gods, Neria!" Roehan pushed past her and he went to Dijana. "You are not hurt, Dijana?" At least he had noticed the blood-stained clothing sticking to her.

"It is my blood," snapped Taeron irritably, and he finally pushed his healers away. "Fetch Lady Trynity's healing ointment and stitch me up. It can't be more painful than what you are trying to do."

"There will be a scar," Amyr warned him. "I can't heal a scar."

Taeron did not look at Dijana, but his words cut straight to her heart. "Then I will always remember what happened this night." Then he headed to the door, but he paused by her mother. "It is gods' damned difficult to pleasure your daughter when her crazed master is trying to butcher me."

She raised a brow. "Did you manage to do it?"

He matched her gaze. "I am an imperial guard. Of course I did." With that, he walked out and any sympathy Dijana might have been feeling for him faded, but he was gone before she could tell him exactly what she thought of him.

"That Calabrian bastard has much to answer for," snapped Roehan. He started to go after him, but her mother caught his arm.

"Let him cool down."

"I think he already did in a rather cold pond," remarked Amyr with a chuckle. He nodded to Stryfe who had watched the entire scene with avid interest. Dijana wanted to scream in frustration because she had no way of knowing what he would say when he reported this shameful incident to the emperor.

Of the Calabrians, only Chaela remained behind and Dijana could see that she regretted her part in what had happened. Dijana could not stay angry at her when she knew that she was only trying to help, and if she could be faulted it would be for agreeing to anything suggested by that brainless oaf, Amyr. She held out her hands to her so that she would know how she felt, and when Chaela hurried to take them, her calming touch made it easier to face her mother and the man who was her father.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at Neria. "You knew what he was going to do?"

The queen frowned and after taking a breath, she admitted, "I saw him on the way here. I assumed he would seduce you in the usual manner and I thought you would appreciate his visit."

"You thought wrong!" Dijana wished she could throw something at her mother.

"Neria, you had no right letting him sneak in here! Do you not see that the Calabrian has no honor?" Roehan was angrily facing her.

"My mother has no right?" Dijana was shouting now as she turned to her father. "And who are you to say that Prince Taeron has no honor?"

"I see that my daughter has some fire in her spirit," remarked Neria with a pleased smile.

"If she is anything like you, I will make my retreat now." Roehan headed to the door, but he paused by her mother. "Come along Neria. You have done enough for the night."

Dijana was surprised that he dared to hoist her over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" She tried to grab his wings, but he quickly snapped them shut. "The gods know what I am going to do to you for this!"

Dijana stared at the door after they had gone with the guards following and she could hear her mother's imperious voice ordering the warrior to put her down.

Chaela laughed. "They sound like my parents."

"I doubt they are anything like your parents!" Dijana was disgusted by the sight of them. She could not imagine the emperor of Calabria behaving like that with his wife.

"Oh, you don't know my parents. I think they spend equal times arguing as they do in their bedchamber."

Dijana was shocked.

"You need to change and I will call for clean bedding." Chaela started to remove the bedding, but she paused to look at Dijana. "You must tell me what happened. Did he really..?" By her blush, Dijana knew she could not finish her question.

Dijana blew out her breath in exasperation. "I will tell you all about it later."

Dijana did not get much sleep that night, partly because she spent much of it talking to Chaela and partly because she was afraid to encounter Kai again even with Chaela there to protect her. As she told Chaela about the trance, she was forced to relive what had happened and she was horrified again by what she had done for Kai. The warlord had almost killed Taeron because of her. Her subsequent actions in saving him did not absolve her, and now he would always have a scar to remind him. She should not feel so guilty when he had taken her to that trance without her knowledge, but her heart ached as she remembered how his wound had looked.

The following morning a serving woman appeared to tell her that the queen expected her to take the meal with her parents in her chamber. Of course, Dijana refused and she expected Neria to force her to attend by sending warriors to escort or drag her as Balak had done on more than one occasion when she had balked at answering his summons. She had never been a biddable daughter and she was not going to start now just because her parents had intruded in her life. The servant returned with the message that if she would not attend her queen and mother, then she did not need to eat.

Chaela smiled at her when the servant left. "The same thing happened to me when I argued with my parents. Don't worry. Your father will bring you something to eat. Mine always did."

Dijana doubted her, but not long after, Chaela answered a knock at the door and after grinning at Dijana over her shoulder, she stepped aside to allow Roehan to enter her chamber with a tray of food. "I will leave you two alone," she said and quickly moved past him before Dijana could stop her.

"I thought you might be hungry," he offered as he set the tray on the small table in her chamber.

She did not want to talk to him. Dijana knew she was probably acting irrationally, but the circumstances of her birth disgusted her and she was not ready to forgive him or her mother, especially her mother.

"Leave it and go." She went to the window and looked out over the valley that was green only a week ago but was now scorched in many spots from the death pyres. There was still smoke rising from several and wondered if Balak and Avar had been tossed carelessly onto them. They had not deserved any better after all the atrocities they had committed in the months leading to their open rebellion. She wished she could have watched, to completely close that chapter of her life.

He did not speak for several moments, but she knew he was still there, and then he said, "This is a shock to me as well, Dijana."

Dijana did not acknowledge his statement although she knew it was true and she should not blame him for anything. Neria was responsible, and yet she had been a victim as well. Dijana did not know how she was supposed to feel and the one person she could have turned to for comfort had betrayed her with his lies.

When she did not respond, Roehan sighed, and she heard him mumbling a comparison between her and her mother that she did not quite hear before he left. Dijana refused to cry, but tears stung her eyes anyway and she was grateful when Chaela returned to hug her from behind as she stared at the smoldering ashes in the fields. She did not know what she would do without Chaela, and she was saddened to consider how Chaela must have suffered since Kaerwen's birth, knowing now how much Avar despised her for it. Dijana had not even noticed that Chaela had been isolated, that she devoted all her time with the child that she adored but which was scorned for what was considered an unspeakable defect on Teralon. Dijana had grown to love Chaela in so short a time and could not even fault her for wanting to help Taeron.

"Is Lord Taeron well?" she heard herself asking although she had resolved not to speak of him.

Chaela drew her to the table and Dijana noted that Roehan must have taken care to select the choicest food for her, and she grudgingly acknowledged his thoughtfulness. Is this how it was to have a parent that cared for your needs?

As she ate, Chaela told her that Amyr had capably stitched the wound although it had taken most of the night and Taeron was uncooperative. Dijana did not need to tell her that Kai had almost killed Taeron because she had seen how close Kai had come to cleaving him in half. That Taeron was not lying in a bed dying after the wound he received was nothing short of a miracle.

"Amyr and I have done what we can to aid in healing, but I believe Taeron's magic is doing more than we can."

Dijana paused in eating. "He has magic?"

"Jeshed told Amyr that he is a gods' blessed holy paladin," Chaela told her. Then she frowned. "I have not yet met Jeshed. I would like to thank him for saving my life, but he has been flying about as a dragon and Amyr cannot contact him. He is worried that something has happened to alarm him."

"His lady wife should be able to contact him," suggested Dijana. "Jeshed is very close to Lady Quynn." She remembered again the comfort the dragon man had given her on Norvana and wondered if he could do it again.

"Amyr received a message this morning that Quynn's ship left for Calabria already. He was surprised, but he said that there were many wounded to transport to Ulfynaeus. Many warriors were poisoned in the marshlands and Amyr has no remedies without using his magic and Taeron has forbidden him. So they need to return to Calabria where Lady Trynity can treat them. He expects Quynn to return before we leave for Calabria."

"You are not leaving right away?" Dijana did not know how she was going to tolerate seeing Taeron until they left.

And she did not know how she was going to bear his leaving.

"Your mother demands that the imperials help round up all of Balak's remaining supporters. Taeron is under orders from my father to end the war here so that Staefyn will not be able to rely on allies from Teralon or Varoonya. Taeron gave command of the imperial warriors to Amyr while he is unable to lead them."

When they finished their meal, Chaela helped her dress in the same gown she had worn when Balak had dragged her before the council. In truth, she had few garments left from before the Varoonyan invasion when she had been treated with the respect due the princess of Teralon. Sharisse had taken nearly all to throw away after reminding her cruelly that the ugly scars on her back would be revealed anyway. Dijana had never seen the scars but they often irritated her so she knew they must be repulsive. She had been horrified that Stryfe – Taeron – had seen them on Norvana, and she had been unnecessarily cruel to him so that she could avoid the questions he would ask.

After brushing through her hair, Chaela seemed pleased. "Your color has improved." Her brows drew together as she studied Dijana. "I had not realized how much you have changed so much in these last few weeks, Dijana!"

She left her for a moment and returned with a looking glass, and at first Dijana did not look because she had stopped looking at herself after Kai had left her for dead, but now she could scarcely recognized the woman who looked back at her.

"Is this a Guerani trick?" she asked Chaela as she pressed her hands to her cheeks. The female looking at her had arched brows and long lashes that were tipped golden, the same golden of the hair that framed her face in gently curling waves. Had her lips always been full and curved pleasantly? And the nose that she had always thought too big no longer drew her attention. As she stared at herself, she saw what others would see in her, the resemblance between her and the startling handsome warrior her mother had taken as her lover.

"No," said Chaela. "But today the change in your appearance is dramatic. I think it may be due to the magic in the blood you took last night."

Dijana sighed and looked away from the mirror to Chaela who continued. "I think Taeron's blood protected you from Kai."

Since she had taken only Taeron's blood on Norvana, Dijana knew that Chaela was probably right. "You argue eloquently for Taeron."

"He is like a brother to me," Chaela reminded her. "After what my father has done, he is my brother in the eyes of Calabria. When we were younger and I was getting into trouble as a child, Taeron always got me out of it. I think if Taeron had been on Calabria when Avar arrived, he would have saved me from that too."

"I have already heard that he is a god," remarked Dijana dryly. "Thank you for verifying it."

Chaela seemed hurt for a moment and Dijana regretted her mockery, but then Chaela laughed. "Poor Taeron. You must be a very great mystery to him. I don't think he can figure out how to please you."

Taeron knew too well how to please her, but Dijana did not point it out.

They received a message from the queen to meet her in the council chambers, so Dijana took a deep, calming breath and as Chaela walked with her, she rehearsed in her head over and over what she would say to the council. She was not practicing because she needed to reaffirm her decision to reject Taeron. He should not be surprised, not when she had already told him she wished to do it on Norvana. She would not think of why she had told him, definitely not because she had fallen in love with a scribe.

Her mother was waiting for her outside the council chamber with Roehan. When she saw Dijana, her brows raised. "You look well, daughter."

"You don't have the right to call me that."

Queen Neria sighed and looked at her lover. "Roehan, you are right, she is an impossible child."

"I am not a child! You were not there when I was a child!" Dijana stopped herself from stamping her foot and she noticed that Chaela was hiding her smile behind her hand.

The Calabrians arrived with Taeron in the lead and Dijana could not believe that he was on his feet after what had happened. She should have known that he would barge into the council to argue against her request. Amyr and Stryfe flanked him while a group of the black clad warriors brought up the rear.

Queen Neria greeted him. "Is it necessary for you to travel with an army, my lord prince? At least you are not dripping blood."

Taeron bowed to her mother and Dijana noticed him wince and when he straightened, she saw that blood now stained his tunic.

"I spoke too soon." Queen Neria said wryly. She looked at Amyr. "Are you not his healer? Your skills are lacking."

Amyr shrugged. "I told him that the lord prince commander of the imperial warriors of Calabria did not need to bow to you, but he doesn't listen to me."

"You are impertinent."

"Emperor Trey is my father," he pointed out. "I don't need to bow to you either."

"Your father is the epitome of manners."

"I am not."

"Neria," warned Roehan.

She seemed to remember why she was there and stopped arguing with Amyr. Dijana glared at the Calabrian prince and he winked at her. There was nothing about that man that she liked.

"Very well, let us enter this nest of vipers. Today I begin my rule." Raising her head, she arrogantly strode forward.

Roehan covered his face with his hand. "Gods help the council."