Max's POV
According to several emails from my lawyer and from Mrs. Chase, the trial wouldn't start for another two months because the Prescotts still had to gather their defense. But, honestly, I didn't care that much. Not when every waking moment filled my chest with a sinking feeling and the world turned grey around me no matter how many pictures I took. None of them looked the way I wanted them to. None of them made me smile when I looked at them. The last picture I'd taken that made me smile was one of Tori with a glass of wine in her hand, the light of the setting sun filtering through the kitchen window as she smiled, telling me about the third time she'd failed her driver's test.
I kept that picture with me all the time now, even though looking at it made my heart ache beyond words. It reminded me that thing wouldn't be like this forever. That we could go back to the way things were when all of this was over. If she still wanted me, anyway. Part of me hoped beyond reason that she would wait for me to come back, that she'd miss me. But an even bigger part of me begged the universe to let her hate me and never want to speak to me again. That's what I deserved. Even from the beginning, when all we had been were two kids who accidentally skipped the friendship stage and fell in love with each other somewhere along the line. I had hoped that we'd be like that forever, that the biggest thing on our minds would be coming out to our parents and going to school and getting jobs and just becoming viable citizens.
But now I had a murder charge and my best friend's death looming over my head like a guillotine.
I sighed, leaning back against the wall I'd been sitting against. I was at work that day at some school that was only a five minute drive away from the studio. The kids were all at recess, so we'd have to wait for them to get back so we could finish the last of the classes that needed their ID pictures taken. My boss and Kate were on the shoot with me along with another photographer I hadn't met before today. They didn't bother introducing themselves to me and I didn't really feel like trying to make a good first impression, anyways. Instead, I stared up at the ceiling, watching the lights flicker as they made that humming noise florescent lights always made. I barely noticed when Kate sat down next to me, fixing me with concerned hazel eyes.
"Are you ok, Max?" She asked softly, making my chest clench with guilt. I thought I would've been used to that question after losing Chloe, but people usually stopped asking after a while. I hadn't thought anyone would have to ask me so gently after things started to get better. But here I was, apparently as much of a wreck on the outside that I was on the inside, and Kate had noticed.
"I'd be lying if I said yes," I replied, pulling my knees against my chest. I knew it wasn't the right thing to say, but I didn't really care. At least, not until I felt Kate run her knuckles down my arm in a tentative gesture of affection that I hadn't quite expected. But it made my throat feel tight and the tears I thought I was out of start stinging my eyes when I looked over to see her frowning at me in her concern.
"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but you can if you want to," she coaxed gently. "Maybe talking about it will help." As sweet as the offer was, I doubted that it would help much. When my dad had asked what was wrong as he drove me to my parents' house, I'd burst into tears, unable to tell him anything that would be a convincing enough lie. I hadn't stopped crying for a few days after that and I hadn't slept hardly at all. My mom even had to force me to eat a few times, threatening to send me to the hospital if I didn't start taking care of myself. That's probably the only reason I'd taken a shower before coming to work. I was about to say thanks, but no thanks until my boss walked over, all long legs and a confident smirk.
"You alright, Max?" She asked, making me jump a little as I looked up at her. When my gaze met hers, her smirk fell away into a slight frown as her brows knit together. The crease in the middle of her forehead reminded me of the way Tori always looked when she asked me that exact question, stealing some of my resolve as tears pricked at my eyes. I just shook my head, burying my face in my knees. This was so unprofessional that I'm surprised I didn't get fired on the spot for being a big cry baby, but I let some of my tears fall anyway, taking in a shaky breath. There was a sigh from above me and I felt Miss Marshall kick my shoe to get my attention. When I looked up at her, she was smiling a little before she offered me her hand to help me up. "Come on, let's go get you some air. You two can handle things here while I help her calm down, right?" Kate nodded beside me, shooting me a nervous glance and squeezing my shoulder reassuringly as she got to her feet and walked back to the nameless photographer.
"Come on, Caulfield," Miss Marshall said, bringing me back to reality. I took her hand and she helped me to my feet before starting towards the door that lead to the front of the school. I watched my own shoes as we walked out the door, sure that I was about to get the lecture of a lifetime. I had hoped that I would stop getting the "Why don't you try harder? You have so much potential!" speech after I was done with high school. I'd actually started getting less of those speeches since I had started dating Tori since she made everything a dick measuring contest, but in a fun way. It wasn't about being cut throat or seeing who could be the best, it was about challenging each other to do the best we could because that's what we wanted for one another. We wanted to be the best we could while making each other better.
It sounds sappy and dramatic, but I almost felt like I'd lost the passion for photography and music and just overall living since I'd left Tori crying in our apartment a week before. I felt like I'd ended my own world to save her from the guilt of testifying against me. If I ended up being found guilty, she'd feel horrible, so it was better this way. Right?
"What's wrong?" Miss Marshall asked me, pulling me from my thoughts with a slightly startled jump. I hadn't noticed that we were standing just outside the school, behind a wall that hid us from the eyes of anyone who might've seen us. It was sort of unsettling, really. Especially since my boss wasn't particularly easy to talk to, even about things that had nothing to do with my personal life.
"Nothing," I replied, a small sniffle blowing the lie to pieces.
"Come on, spill," the taller woman insisted, crossing her arms over her chest and fixing me with a look that reminded me all too much of the way Tori would look at me when she asked me if I would ever be more than a trash hipster someday in front of Taylor and Courtney. I shrugged, avoiding my boss's gaze and rubbing my shoulder nervously. I felt as small as I had back at Blackwell before that week in October. Just as weak and afraid and useless. Even after everything I had been through, after catching Jefferson and getting Nathan put in prison and saving Chloe too many times to count, I was still just Max. Just a shy nerd with a camera and a lack of motivation. There was just one difference between the person I was in that moment and the person I had been at Blackwell. I missed Victoria more than I could ever express.
I hadn't realized that I was crying until my boss had wrapped her arms around me, pulling me against her and burying her face in my hair. I tensed up immediately, tears creating trails down my cheeks. Miss Marshall pulled away a little, putting her hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes.
"I heard about your trial and about that girl who has to testify against you," she explained, her features tight with concern. "She was more than just a friend, wasn't she?" I nodded, swallowing as I looked back at the ground, wishing I could just rewind time and take back my mistake.
"I'm sorry, Miss Marshall, I'll pull it together," I apologized weakly, keeping my eyes on the ground.
"Please, call me Angie," she replied softly, lifting my chin with her fingers until my eyes were locked with hers. "I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. I hate seeing such a pretty girl sulk about someone who doesn't even deserve her. Let me make you feel better." I stared up into her eyes in confusion for a moment, but when I realized what she meant, it was too late. She crashed her lips against mine, making me gasp, but no matter how loudly my mind screamed for me to pull away, I couldn't move. Just when I thought she was going to pull away, she didn't, pressing me back against the wall behind me before starting to tug at my shirt. Every fiber of my being begged me to pull away, to escape somehow. This wasn't right. I didn't want to kiss my boss. I didn't wanna kiss anyone except for Victoria. I didn't want this. Victoria was the only one who deserved my kisses, but she also deserved so much more, so much better than I could ever give her. But that didn't mean I was going to give up trying to be enough just because I made a mistake.
So I shoved and I shoved hard, pushing Angie back a few steps to see her shocked expression turn sour. She clenched her fists by her sides, her eyes fiery as she started to advance on me again.
"What the fuck are you doing?" She growled, looking like she was about to hit me. "You are so fired if you think you can just turn me down and shove me! You stupid, fucking bitch!" I raised my hand before I could stop it and the world around me slowed and blurred, gradually beginning to reverse itself around me. My head started to pound and the pain built fast and hard behind my eyes and forehead until it was practically blinding. Finally, when the pain was too much and I let go, my boss was standing in front of my with her arms crossed over her chest again, but her expression was changing as black shadows started crowding around the edges of my vision.
"Max?" She asked, taking a step forward as the world kept spinning and I felt blood trickle from my nose. "Oh my god, Max, are you ok?"
"Call… an ambulance." It was the only thing I could manage to say before I fell forward and the world went dark. The last thing I remember thinking was how big of a mistake I had made. How leaving Tori alone was a mistake. Not just because I had left her all alone, though that was probably the biggest part. But I hadn't realized until that moment that I had let myself be alone now too.