BRIGGS POV
When I reach the stairs I'm still breathing a little heavily. As the door opens, she's right there.
I look at her and nod... pulling the buds from my ears, letting them drape around my neck.
"Hey." I say to her as I pass, walking to the kitchen.
"Hey." Her voice rings as she follows behind me.
I go to the sink and wet a few paper towels, turning back around, wiping my face, neck… chest.
When I look up, she's frozen. Staring.
I know that feeling.
I put the cold paper towels to the back of my neck. "So what are you still doing here?"
Her eyes scan over me and then she looks over to the counter. "I thought I'd make a good post workout snack."
I smile at her, because she's right. She would.
"Oh god, I mean..." She palms her forehead and then points to the counter beside the fridge and keeps talking, "I meant to say that I made you a snack."
I tell her, "I know what you meant," smiling at her while she rolls her eyes.
When I walk over to the paper plate she's left me, there's blocks of cheddar cheese and I think pepper jack cheese that are all stacked in pyramids. Some blueberries are beside slices of apple and she's shaped it like a flower with a huge glob of peanut butter in the center. I feel like I'm in kindergarten. I didn't even know we had this much shit in the fridge.
"Nice," I say, grabbing a slice and dipping it in. "You even shaped it like a pretty little flower for me?" I grab my chest, smiling at her.
"Hey… stop making fun, I was trying to be nice."
"I'm not makin' fun, girl. I wish I could come home to this every day. And I love peanut butter. Thank you."
She smiles while I make a mess of the peanut butter on the plate.
I devour a few slices of apple while she just stands there smiling. She's got a great smile. It lights up her whole face and it's contagious. It's a nice change from my harsh days and nights.
"I love peanut butter too. I was hoping you weren't allergic."
"Really?" I tease her, lifting my arm up, curling and flexing my bicep. "I'm a man, girl. Do I look like I'm allergic to anything?"
And then I flex my pecs before grabbing another slice, cutting my eyes to her, "I'm not allergic to anything."
She giggles and I like it. I like everything about her.
And that's the problem.
This was pretty sweet of her and all, but I gotta put the brakes on it right now. Thing is, if I don't establish some boundaries with this thing, it's not gonna turn out good for either of us.
Especially if she plans on being around here like this. Wearing short shorts, staying here when there's no one home but us, smiling at me, making snacks for me and shit?
I don't even know how I'll control myself. But I'll start with a short term goal to just keep it platonic until Jake fucks it up. Hopefully she'll make it easy on me.
BPOV
His hair is wet and shiny from sweat as he stands across the kitchen from me, bare chest, sweat still dripping... with his butt leaned against the counter as we talk. He's wearing a thin pair of nike shorts and I'm me, so I can't seem to keep my eyes from looking at his crotch.
In my defense, I'm not an obsessive crotch watcher, I just... how can you not look at a guy's crotch when he's wearing basketball shorts? They reveal everything. That thin material lays so delicately over that sweet pile of junk, showing all their stuff that you have to. And when they walk or jog in them? Oh my god. It moves right along. You can't not watch the bounce. It's an unwritten rule in the girl code book. You have to look at crotches in basketball shorts. But only if the guy is cute. And over five foot eleven.
He puts the plate down, pointing an apple slice in my direction as he speaks. I'm trying my best to keep my eyes above the tiger, checking out the tiny barbells stuck through the center of each nipple. When he did that thing with his pecs, making them dance, I noticed the barbells for the first time.
I love how I discover something new about him each time I see him.
"So what's up with you?" He says, crossing his legs as he munches on his snack. His bulge sticks out just a little more now that his legs are crossed and my brain can't stay focused. My eyes aren't obeying my look away signals.
"Not much. Just bored… not feeling being at Charlie's tonight."
"Well at least get over here and share this with me, you put enough on this plate for both of us." He laughs.
"I'm good, I had some while I was making yours." I smile at him as he puts the plate down and walks to the fridge.
He's scanning over the contents of the fridge and without looking back to me he asks, "So, you wanna talk about it?"
I don't really know what it is but when I look back up to him he's coming closer with a look on his face that feels invasive.
He takes a sip from the bottle and speaks again. When he's about two feet away he says, "He's my brother, you know." Eyes piercing mine.
Oh.
That.
"You mean Jake?" I say as he comes to stand in front of me... closer now.
He cuts his eyes at me, like come on, now.
He towers above me when I ask, "How'd you know?"
"We don't keep secrets from each other, Bella. We talk." He brings the bottle to his lips again and before he takes a sip, bottle to his lips, eyes cutting down to mine, he finishes, "About everything."
I don't know why I feel ashamed, but I do.
This just got awkward.
I glance to the floor, toeing the ground beside his shoe and then I bring my guilty eyes back to him, speaking small. "For whatever it's worth, I came back there to see you."
He reaches around me to put his water on the counter and his proximity sends my heart racing. The hard ripple of his abs makes it hard to contain myself… I imagine biting my fist, but somehow keep the self control not to.
He speaks softly to me while backing away a little, "Listen, it's cool... alright. Don't get the wrong idea here. I didn't bring it up because I'm searching for an explanation. You don't owe me that."
I stop him, "But, it's true… when I came back that night I wanted..."
"Let me finish." He holds up a hand and I listen as he begins.
"We might not be biologically related, but make no mistake, Jake and I are brothers in every sense. I just won't cross him, you know?"
I feel small and scolded but I can't seem to stop blurting things out, so I answer, "We aren't even together like that, though. I was so wasted that night, Briggs. And I'm not even making excuses. I like Jake, it's just that..."
"Doesn't matter. This thing between me and you," he points a finger at me and back to him when he speaks, stepping in closer, "This attraction we have?"
I thought the tension was thick before he said that. Now? There's no air left in this room.
We're both staring intently and I'm pretty sure he can hear my heart beating. He looks down to the floor, trying to gather the right words I guess. When he looks back to me with the most sincere eyes he speaks softly, with eyes that are silently begging when he speaks.
"I'm still a man, you know? I'm not perfect, Bella. I have weaknesses just like any other man." When he says that word, weaknesses, he puts his hand on my arm and lightly holds on for a second while relaying what that word really means with his eyes. Everything he's saying just made total sense to me.
"Don't make this hard for me is all I'm saying." He steps back still looking at me and I can feel my pulse vibrating my entire body.
Heart pounding, blood pumping I speak lightly. "Got it."
The immature argumentative child in me won't let it go though, so I speak up in argument. "You know what? I totally understand what you're saying here but I don't think you really understand me."
He's back across the kitchen now, keeping his distance. He grabs a few blueberries, popping them in his mouth, "I'm all ears."
"I'm not with him, with him. Like, I'm not looking for a relationship. I belong to no one."
"I didn't say you did." He puts another handful of blueberries in his mouth, keeping his cool.
"I just find it unfair that you're already labeling me as his."
"That's the last thing I'm saying." He speaks around a mouthful of berries.
"Then what?"
He comes close, still chewing. When he's almost touching me, he reaches behind me to grab his water, tipping the bottle back, chugging all of it.
I watch his inked throat as he swallows. I scan the muscles in his arm, down to his chest and god, he's gorgeous. A chill runs through me as I study the tattoos weaving all around his neck, stopping in a neat slanted line that runs along his jawbone. And then I look back to the fierce tiger below… a perfectly detailed animal laced across his torso.
"Look at me."
I know this sounds all cliche, but dead serious… when my eyes meet his, it's a charge that hits like a jolt... straight through me.
He brings his face a little closer, his chest barely grazing my nipples. "You feel that?"
Barely breathing, I reply with a quick yes, just hoping he'll stop his questions and forget everything he just said and kiss me.
He bends down and his lips just lightly graze my ear when he speaks, "This... Bella. We both know what this is, right?."
What I want most to do, is to place my hands on his sides, and pull his middle to mine, but I let out a slow breath and try to calm my nervousness as I nod a slow yes up to him. Because I know exactly what this is. He's showing me what it's like to want something, but having to remain within a set of boundaries.
He speaks slowly and earnestly while backing away, "Jake has never betrayed me. I owe him that same respect. Don't make this impossible for me, okay? That's all I'm saying."
"Okay," I say shakily and I step back too. "I'm sorry. I would never try to come in between the two of you. Not intentionally anyway."
"Listen, I just said what had to be said. We don't have to go on about it, let's not even talk about it anymore. Deal?"
"Deal."
And the silence between us, now that our heavy conversation is over, is awkward.
He grabs another slice of apple and winks at me before saying, "Thanks for the snack. Good talk." And seconds later I listen as his feet hit each stair he climbs and yells, "Gotta shower!"
.
.
.
Minutes later, I'm still in the kitchen thinking over the conversation we just had and what he said at the end. Good talk? What in the fuck even?
He just teased the hell out of me and then basically said it's not gonna happen. And didn't even stop there. He's basically just handed me all of the responsibility of keeping this relationship within some sort of invisible platonic boundary. I mean… what if I don't want to make it easy on him? What if I want to make him step over his boundaries?
I instantly scold myself while grabbing a slice of apple left on his plate. I guess I am being kind of selfish. I've been betrayed by a good friend before. I know how it feels. I also know how it feels to fall out with a friend. It sucks. I guess, in some ways, Briggs and Jake are like me and Jess. We aren't just friends, we're family.
I can do this. For Briggs.
For the same reason that I came here, I don't leave when Briggs gets in the shower. Maybe it's because I'm tired of being alone and I'm not looking forward to going back to Charlie's lonely house.
Maybe it's because a thick sadness is hanging over me and I know if I do go home, I'll drink the entire bottle of rum that's in my freezer. So I sink into Jess's couch and grab the remote.
.
.
.
I fall into Jess's comfy couch and pull up the guide, scrolling through to find a movie.
About 20 minutes later, I've come to that scene in The Fault in our Stars, where Hazel Grace is speaking at Gus's funeral. That scene sparks gut wrenching feelings in me... putting me right back in the pew at Charlie's funeral.
I've completely forgotten I'm at Jess's house and that Briggs is also here. I'm legit about to ugly cry when I hear his footfalls on the stairs, so I take deep breaths enough to slow down the crying thing and I grab the blanket on the back of the couch and cover myself with it, pulling my legs to my chest.
"You watchin' a movie alone?" I can smell his clean scent wafting down the stairs, it fills the room.
The tension between us earlier has dissipated, leaving us with a much cooler vibe.
"Yep." I look back to the screen.
"You just gonna hang here tonight?" He smiles down at me walking to the other side of the couch.
.
.
A/N: Briggs says he's so happy we don't have to do those long, explanatory ANs anymore and goodnight everyone! We'll see you soon :0) XOXO