When I get back to the group, after seeing Edward, I'm so full of thrill and excitement from his words, his touch and that kiss, that I could shoot up to the sky like a rocket.

I find myself zoning out of the conversation, smiling every minute or so, holding my insides together at times, to tamp down the zings of that falling-feeling ripping through me at will.

It's that same feeling you get on a rollercoaster, after the climb and right when you get to the drop, that feeling you have when you come racing down, your tummy shooting straight up to your throat— the intense tickly feeling that threatens to take you over the threshold of excitement and burst you into tiny pieces, but it holds you right there just until your bubble is about to burst and then it lets go.

This is that feeling.

Over and over again, in tiny spurts, it continued to shoot through me every time I would even think of the look in Edward's eyes or the sound of his voice against my skin. The thought of the words that came out of his mouth, the trail of heat his fingers left on my body, the kiss. That damn kiss, I can't even.

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Edward left almost an hour ago, but my thoughts of him haven't slowed.

As Edward's seduction and his last words swam around in my head, I looked on as Rose clung to Briggs, as well as Jake. She's been making flirtatious rounds between the two of them tonight.

Between Edward being here tonight, paying attention to me for once in his life, and Briggs ignoring me, my emotions are everywhere.

Despite the new thrill of Edward Cullen, it's hard to ignore the jealousy when it boils up inside of me and it's only getting worse by the second. So, I take the other pill that Rose stuffed in my pocket when we got here.

Up from my toes, nice euphoric feelings rise like little tiny balloons through my system. And when the warm happiness starts to bleed out through my arms and down to my fingertips, I feel numb and happy again. Flooded with emotions and the nice warm feeling of the drug, I sit relaxed on the cooler I share with Emily, and watch as Briggs walks away from Rose and loads another bike onto a trailer, slapping the driver's hand and sending him off.

I look on as he makes his rounds, telling everyone bye, and I hear Jake saying he'll be right behind him. Jake turns to me just then, noticing my heavy lidded stare and comes to me, "Hey, angel?"

I don't speak, I just smile.

"You alright, doll?"

I tell him I've never been better.

"Hey, hey... " He puts his warm fingers on my neck and the touch feels good, but the it's coming from the wrong fingers. The kiss we shared earlier had about as much spark as a wet blanket. In fact, Edward Cullen's kiss put Jake's to shame. Edward's is right up there with the best I've ever had.

"Hey, what'd you take, you look wasted, babe." He looks at me, concerned.

I feel like everything is moving in slow motion when I look over his shoulder and focus in on Briggs. Jake waits for my answer but I'm waiting for Briggs to acknowledge me and just then, as if he can sense my stare, he meets my eyes.

It's a slow dismissal, but that's ultimately what it is. His glance lands sweetly at first and turns within a millisecond, to indifferent.

I grab Jake's hand, taking it from my neck. "I'm good, I'm good. I promise. I just took another pill."

He turns around surveying our group and then back to me. "We should probably get you girls out of here. Stay right here, I'ma round everyone up and we're all gonna head to the Clubhouse. He looks over to Alice, and asks her if she's good. And then he whispers to her to not let Rose give me any more "shit."

Alice doesn't judge me or Rose, she just lets us do our thing. And I love that about her. I also like how Jake is worried about keeping us safe. It feels good to be taken care of.

I overhear Jake tell Mike that Rose is wasted, and Mike offers to drive her car so I opt to ride with Alice, Ang and Saki.

Rose has been all over Briggs tonight. It's hard to watch, and despite the fact that I honestly don't care about her being all over Jake, it's still a little odd.

Jake smiles at her like he'd take her in a heartbeat when she rubs on him. She puts her mouth right on his ear when she leans in to tell him things, and I don't think he even considers me, or Briggs for that matter. Not that he should consider me.

I'm such a fucking hypocrite.

It's just that Briggs mentioned to me once before that all of them have this code... where all girls past or present, are hands off to the rest of the crew. So it puzzles me a little, to see her flirting so openly with Jake, and not only am I sitting right here with them, but he doesn't shake off her advances. Maybe this is why Briggs is a little more quiet tonight. Not his normal playful self. I can't even get a hello out of him.

The crowd is thinning around us, cars loading into their trailers, tents being disassembled, lines of traffic slowly moving out. And I don't want to move an inch.

I don't want to deal with Briggs ignoring me anymore tonight, or watching Rose be all over him and I don't want to think about Edward with his girlfriend and I don't want to think about the fact that I'm basically alone now, because I don't even have a boyfriend like Edward thinks I do.

I just want to stay right here, feel this feeling, and hear this music.

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.

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We made it to the Clubhouse safe.

We're dancing between the pool tables and Rose is fucked out of her mind.

All over Jake. She's asked me several times if it's okay, and I assure her that it is. But I'm not fucked up enough that it doesn't sit right with me. And not because I want Jake.

Emily and I are back to back, dancing beside Alice and Ang and we spin and sway, our bodies undulating to the beat. It's a heavy, seductive beat that sinks in, through my skin, and my blood beats out, syncing to its rhythm.

It feels good, the music pumping through my veins.

I look over my shoulder and notice Briggs leaning against the bar, staring. I lightly sway, staring at him just long enough to communicate a every emotion I have right now. Happiness, sexual desire, frustration, sadness, pops of euphoria and confusion. Mainly just desire for him. And he holds my stare until it's so intense that I can't stay locked any longer. I look away from him, hoping that he'll come to me.

Chaz and Quil join in, beers in hand, swaying with us and when I turn my shoulder to look back at Briggs, he's gone.

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Thirty minutes later, I'm starting to feel hot and tingly and I'm getting sleepy. Rose has calmed down a little, hanging more with us than all over Jake, while he stocks the bar. I'm still wondering where Briggs is when she says that she wishes he hadn't left.

"He left?"

"Yeah, said he had to be up early, needed to get home. I offered to go home with him." She giggles and then makes a sad face, slumping her head onto my shoulder while pulling another pill from her pocket.

I'm starting to feel a little sick, and seeing the sight of another pill makes me even more nauseous. I put my hands over hers.

"You should toss those. Don't take anymore."

The conversation goes nowhere, and Rose ends up taking another. I leave her to go to the restroom, hoping that I don't have to throw up here. Not in this nasty restroom.

After twenty minutes of dry heaving in the world's grossest spot, I splash water onto my face, wishing for this feeling to end. When I look in the mirror everything is strobing.

I want to go home.

When I come out of the bathroom, I spot Jake across the bar, in the corner. Rose is talking to him, her arm around his neck, he's smiling down to her. I just stop and stare, not going any closer. I watch to see what plays out.

She whispers something in his ear and he nods. Walking away from her, through the bar and into the compound. She doesn't waste a second, following him.

I'm pretty sure that I know what's about to happen, but out of pure disbelief, I follow just in case I'm wrong.

I stay far enough behind, following their voices down the dim hallway. Seth comes booming out of his room and I slink behind the wall so that he doesn't see me.

Once he's back into the bar, I tiptoe down the hall and come to the door that Jake usually takes me to.

I can hear quiet kisses, a soft moan. It's definitely Rose in there. My heart is pounding so loud that I can hear it. And then I hear him say the same words he said to me earlier, "Damn girl."

I knew what was going to happen. I just didn't believe it I guess.

I feel betrayed for a split second before the thought of Briggs comes to mind. What would he think if he were here seeing this. Isn't this the reason why he won't touch me or even talk to me in front of Jake?

Isn't this what's keeping us apart?

His loyalty to Jake?

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When Seth drops me at my door I'm so thankful to be at home. I just want to be in my bed.

I haven't felt this sick in a long time, so when I get upstairs I try to make myself throw up, making a promise that I'll never take another drug again, if I make it through tonight.

I pray that Charlie isn't seeing all of this. I sometimes wonder if he can see me and watch over me from where he is. Tears roll down my cheeks at the thought. Makes my heart clench.

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After brushing my teeth and taking off all my clothes, I slide into bed with nothing but a tank top and panties on. I keep going from hot spells to cold shivers and now I'm burning.

When I turn my lamp off, my phone lights up with a text from Rose.

Where'd you go?

I don't answer her, I don't even know what to think of Rose anymore.

I text Briggs instead.

you at home?

A few minutes go by and the nausea starts to roll through again. My phone lights up.

It's Briggs.

are you?

I type out a quick text hoping I don't throw up. got here about 30 mins ago. sick.

you okay?

My heart beats at his concern. yeah, just feeling nauseous. never taking that stuff again. why'd you leave tonight?

A few minutes go by again and I crave his next text, staring through the dark at my phone… just waiting on the screen to light.

how much did you take?

i took one before the drag and another one there.

I'm dying for him to know what I know, so I decide to just spit it out. Holding it in is killing me. what would you say if I told you jake and rose are together tonight. like fucking in the back of the clubhouse together?

A minute passes before he responds

i'd say i already knew that

I'm shocked and confused now. They didn't get together until after he left, plus, why isn't he mad? Doesn't he see what this means? I type out another quick text.

that's all?

He immediately replies.

jake and i talked about it earlier, we've got an understanding, it's cool. i'm leaving soon anyway, why would i hold him back

His response infuriates me. He's really going to leave. And he doesn't even want to mention what this really means. It makes me want to cry.

I feel heartbroken right now.

So I turn my phone off, curling into a ball, hoping for the nausea to end and sleep to take me.

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I'm startled awake by movement next to me as the bed shifts, sinking down. There's a huge shadow moving beside me, towering over.

I let out a gasp, feeling scared, and then a strong, warm hand is on me as he speaks.

"Shhhh. It's just me. It's me..." His familiar voice soothes me as I grab the sheet pulling it to me, sitting up.

My heart pounds heavily in my chest as my eyes adjust and I see him there through the dark. He's got one knee on the mattress, one foot on the floor.

He looks at me as he peels off his shirt, tossing it to the floor.

"Can I lay next to you?"

"Yeah, of course. You scared the shit out of me though." I grab my forehead and lay back onto my pillow.

That free-falling feeling is back.

Seeing him standing at my bed in the middle of the night, taking his shirt off and tossing it to the floor, only happens in my dreams. And he's here, right now. This is real.

That familiar zing of exhilaration that roars through like rushing waters, whips through my middle and I'm on the brink of that threshold again.

That free fall into feelings.

He slides in onto his stomach, with his elbow on the pillow, holding his head up above me.

This space that we're in is more intimate than anywhere we've been previous, and that thought is in the air.

We're quiet. He's staring at me, eyes piercing through the dark and I'm turned to him, waiting on him to say something.

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A/N: Please review with your answer to this question, I'm dying to hear your thoughts! Who do you think is in her bed?

Here's a hint: It's not Jake.

Sorry to cut it right there, but these two have a lot to talk about and this chapter wasn't getting any shorter. I appreciate every single review I receive. Thank you so much to all that are leaving love and reading!