"You okay?" His voice is soft, comforting.

With my eyes to the ceiling and through heavy breaths, I answer him. My fist is against my chest, feeling my heart pound out fast beats.

"You almost gave me a heart attack." I exhale. "How'd you get in?"

He pushes the comforter and top sheet over to my side, bunching it up against me as he scoots in closer beside me, turning over and keeping one leg up onto the bed. "I took Jess's key."

He folds his arms, laying his head back onto his hands. We both quietly stare at the ceiling.

"You still feeling sick?"

Nervous would be a better word for it.

"Just trying to slow my heart rate down, now that I know I'm not being murdered." My tone is sarcastic, and I regret it immediately, but I'm still a little shaky from the scare and my feelings are still hurt.

He speaks quietly. "For what it's worth, you scared me too."

It's in those words... out from his mouth, into the air between us, and through to me. A new vibe flows through this conversation. One of responsibility. One that's heavier than ever before— it's in this crackling, static space and it floats between us.

I look over to him, stretched out on top of my bed. He's got one leg covering the length of my mattress, his foot dangling off the end. His other leg hangs off the bed, bent at the knee, foot on the floor, shoes still on. I'm flat on my back, just inches away, hoping for my racing heart to calm.

We're lying here like we do this every night, but it's never been like this before.

I face him, looking at his silhouette that peeks out, over his elbow. "How did I scare you?"

He unfolds his arm, placing his hand on his stomach, as he turns to me. "Rose used to stay messed up… I hated it. Remember me telling you that?"

"Yeah."

"There's a reason why she's not my girl anymore." He turns his eyes away from me, shaking his head. A resentful tone in his voice. "That shit's such a turn off."

Stab.

I feel about two inches tall right now. And judged. He's never made me feel that way.

I look out, through the window that spills moonlight onto the bottom half of the bed, and speak quietly. "Okay?"

His eyes burn into me through the dark.

"I was gonna leave tomorrow without saying bye to you. My was mind made up. And that last time you looked at me, through zoned-out eyes, sealed it for me. I'd've called later— once I got there or something, but I was just gonna leave without a word."

He doesn't even flinch, saying words that cut me like a knife.

"But every time I'd start to buy a ticket, something stopped me."

He turns his eyes back to the ceiling and I instantly feel relief. I find comfort in the shade. Relief from the exposure, from the conviction, from the responsibility to be more. To be better.

"I kept going back and forth, back and forth." He moves his head side to side as he speaks and then stops. "I talked to Jake about it, before I finally decided to leave and then I came home tonight and bought a noon flight out tomorrow." He adjusts himself and continues. "You texted me about five minutes after."

My heart sinks and heavy knots swell in my throat, but I lie quietly, with my stomach turning over and over from his words... knowing what he says next is going to be pivotal before it spills from his mouth.

"But I sat there, after we talked, waiting for your next text."

He doesn't say anything else, And I don't either and the tension mounts between us into this big, invisible, grey, shadowy peak that threatens to swallow us both.

His voice breaks through the crescendo of emotions running through me. "And it never came. You didn't answer my calls, you didn't answer the door."

He's silent for a moment and when I start to speak he continues.

"The thought of leaving you was already heavy enough. But when you stopped responding." He faces me once again and it feels like it's a thousand degrees in this room.

"It scared the shit out of me. Just the thought of something happening to you. It hit me right in the fucking guts."

A slow release of tension uncoils as those words sink in. And I feel bad that he worried to the point that he actually came here. But wouldn't I do the same?

Without a doubt.

"So I sat there, waiting. Worrying. Calling. Knocking."

Another beat of silence passes. "And now I'm here."

The bed sinks as he brings his other leg up, crossing his feet at the ankles.

"And you're okay."

The thought that he's leaving is a neon sign in my mind, flickering on and off, failing to let me think of anything else.

"And you're leaving." Hurt is heavy and evident in my tone. It's hard to remove it, and pretend it isn't there.

"But I'm here right now."

He stares at me while I try to gather my thoughts.

"Why do you take that stuff?" He reaches over, stroking my cheek. "You're so much better than that, Bella."

"It's not like I do it all the time, Briggs. I've never even tried it before this week, and trust me. I won't be taking anything anymore. Lesson learned."

"Good to know." I look at him, and I can see his smile through the dark.

"You scared me tonight."

I point to myself. "I'm the one with the pounding heart here, not you."

"Who says?" He reaches under the covers, grabbing my hand and pulling it to him, laying it right over the center of his chest… holding his hand over mine.

This is the first time I've actually laid my hands on his bare chest. Something about it feels so intimate.

I can feel his heartbeat there, and while it's fast, it's no match for mine. Mine is racing over here.

"So, why'd you just cut me off like that?" He softly squeezes my hand, asking genuinely.

I turn onto my side, towards him. Bringing my other hand up to my chest, cradling it under my chin, and I look away from his eyes, embarrassed to say how I feel, but there's really nothing to lose now… he's leaving.

"It hurts, Briggs." I scan his chest and look at the place where his heart beats, just under his skin. "I don't know why, but it hurts when you disregard me."

He gives me a solemn look before replying. "I never disregard you, no matter what you think. Come here…"

He digs one arm underneath me, and the other comes around me, pulling me to him, so that I'm closer now, right against him.

"You were too far away." His smooth deep voice, blows breath over my face as I nestle my forehead into his neck.

My feelings are soaring, nervous energy tickling up through my tummy again as his strong arms wrap around me. I'm wearing next to nothing and he's shirtless and oh, god. The last time we were this close we both had clothes on, and we weren't in my bed.

The hurt in my heart trumps the arousal and the knot in my throat swells with that reminder.

"I'm just gonna lay it all out, Bella. And when I'm done, you can decide what you wanna do with it." He pulls back, looking at me… making sure he has my attention.

"Okay." I nod.

He tucks my head back into his neck and I feel his heartbeat under my hand as he begins.

"I guess I've known all along that you didn't really want Jake. I could see how you looked at me and how you looked at him. I could tell the difference."

My heart flip flops as he continues. Hearing him speak out loud, things that only our eyes have said, is overwhelming.

"Maybe, all this time I've been hoping that you'd back off of him though, I don't know. There were times when I was selfish, and wanted him to fuck it up. But I never wanted you to get hurt. I didn't want that to happen, and I'm sorry." He squeezes me with those last words. So sincere.

I move, to look at him with a confused gaze.

"You think I'm hurt over Jake?"

He doesn't answer, but waits for me to go on.

"I told Rose to be with Jake. I literally told her at least thirteen times today that I didn't care about him that way, and that it wouldn't bother me if she did her thing with him." I tuck myself back into his neck after I see him accept that.

"To be honest, the only thing that bothered me about the entire situation was you. I was worried about how it would make you feel… Jake being with Rose."

If I'm being honest with myself, I did have a slight tinge of irritation with Rose because of girl code. She's just a different breed, I guess. But the point is, that none of that girl code stuff really matters, because I'm not into Jake like that anymore, and obviously she is. She's better for him.

"We weren't going anywhere, we knew that."

"He told me."

"What did he tell you?"

This is interesting.

"He just said that he quit trying to lock you down a few weeks ago. That it was clear you didn't want anything serious, and Jake is at that stage where he's ready for it." He runs his fingers through his hair. "Rose has been into him longer than me. So, this isn't anything new, I mean, he actually gave me the clear to go for her way back in the day."

"This is so weird, you guys giving each other permission and stuff."

"Speaking of, I told him how I felt about you."

"Well, I don't even know how you feel about me, but let's hear what Jake thought about it."

"He said you two were together just a few days ago, and then he told me you kissed him today."

Shit.

I pull back looking at him. Knowing I'm about to lie but feeling like it's necessary and also, it's only half a lie, so it's valid in my eyes.

"Briggs, I swear to you, it was the drugs. That kiss meant nothing. I don't even know why I did it."

"He told me the same thing. Said he could tell you weren't into it and that you were just messed up. It still pissed me off. And then I just watched you get more wasted by the hour." He stops stroking my hair for a minute. "I won't lie… I wanted to tell you how mad it made me. I wanted you to know how it felt."

Everything makes sense now. The glances, the dismissals, all the looks from before… how he was just kind of waiting. Waiting on me to back off of Jake and waiting on me to quit fucking up.

I don't even know what I've been doing with my life lately. It's all just happened so fast. It's all a blur. And now, I've got this amazing person wrapped around me, telling me I mean something to him and he's about to leave.

My throat feels like it's closing for a moment, as that thought settles deep inside and I reach my arm around him, holding him a little closer for just a moment.

"I'm sorry Briggs."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. You don't owe me anything."

He runs his hands through my hair and it makes me feel so cared for. This embrace just feels so right and so good.

"Just tell me that you won't get wasted anymore. Promise me that you're done with the drugs?"

It comes automatically. "I'm never touching that stuff again."

His hand moves to rest on my waist. It feels nice. I like it. Him holding me, me holding onto him. I've wanted to feel this close to him so many times.

"I know you're leaving, but when you come back, promise me that you'll acknowledge me from now on. Don't ignore me anymore."

He wraps me tight while he speaks. "Girl, I'm aware of you every time you're around. I'm so fucking aware of you that it drives me insane sometimes. More than you could possibly understand."

"It hurts Briggs. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but it does. It hurts my feelings when you won't even look at me sometimes."

"You think it's been easy for me to look at you, knowing you're with him? You think every day for the last two months or however long it's been, has been easy?"

I bring my eyes to him and his eyes burn a serious tone.

"I want you so fucking bad it makes me crazy sometimes, but you've been with him, and not once did you back off of him, Bella. You kept it going. I made it clear forfuckingever ago that I wanted you. You chose him."

Embarrassment sears at first and then anger, followed by disbelief.

I press against his chest, with a raised voice and reply. "I was wasted, Briggs. Just drunk sex and playful attraction. I never chose him." The look on my face begs him to understand.

"Seems to be a pattern." He replies calmly, pointing out my frequent mind-numbing binges that I'm completely aware of. And I push his chest again, trying to push him away.

He doesn't move. His strong body doesn't even flinch, there's no give to my push, he just presses in closer to me, holding me tighter.

"That all you got, little girl?" He's mocking me. Smiling down to me, making fun of my attempt to push him. It lightens the mood just enough but this is still heavy. All these unsaid words that have sat between us for so long. They're all spilling out at a rate that my mind can't keep up with.

But the only thing that really means anything is us. None of the Jake stuff. None of the Rose stuff. None of the time that's passed.

I speak softly. "I was never with him like that and I'm definitely not with him, in anyway, at all, anymore. And that's not even fair, because the only thing that you ever made clear to me was that I had boundaries as far as you were concerned."

"You think those were for you?"

"Those were for me. Not for you." His hand slides down my arm and back up, pulling my hair from the side of my face and back, over my shoulder.

"Does it suck that it took him fucking it up, to hear you say you're done with him? Yeah. Did I hope that you were going to quit fucking with him after you knew how we were?" He points from me to him. "Fuck yes."

I try to interrupt. "But you told me…"

He stops me, grabbing my hand and squeezing, "Let me finish. I did hope that you would back off of him, but that's not how it happened and at the same time it was wrong for me to feel that way."

"No it wasn't. And I didn't wait until Jake messed it up, Briggs. I told Rose to go for him. I don't know how many times I can tell you that I don't want him like that."

"I didn't know that until a few minutes ago." He adjusts the chain around his neck and the tags make a clinking sound as they fall back against him. "Look, all that matters is that I'm right here, with you, and this time there aren't any boundaries."

We stare in silence, more unsaid words hanging in the thick air between us.

"You mean aside from ten states. You've waited until you're about to put an entire country between us to raise the boundaries."

We've both given some of ourselves here. That's clear. He feels like he was being selfish by wanting me to back off of Jake, but he never pressed for it. I've felt selfish for wanting to violate the boundaries that kept us apart, but I didn't press them. That's the very definition of truly caring for someone. When someone else's needs become more important than your own.

He speaks up through my thoughts. "Bella, I'm not getting on that plane tomorrow, but I will soon. My grandfather's getting worse every day. I can't change this. If I could, I would."

He touches my face and continues. "But what I can change is how I leave. If I leave here without you knowing how much I love your smile…" His finger grazes my bottom lip and his eyes follow the motion. His hand trails up my arm and back down to my waist… around my back, to the dip in my spine, pressing me closer to him.

"How much I love your voice, your attitude about life…" He smiles wide and god, his smile.

"I love all of those things about you too." I say to him, his eyes straining through the dark to see mine.

I'm overwhelmed with feelings and I feel safe. Like I can tell him everything I think about him, with no threat of rejection. So I do, I spill it. "Today, I missed you when you were just feet away from me."

"You've been missing from me since the first day I met you, girl." His hand spreads across my spine, pulling me onto him, bringing my body on top of his. My soft curves mold onto his strong muscles and we fit.

The comfort I feel in his arms is just what I needed tonight. To feel cared for, not alone, to feel safe and warm. To feel happy.

With my head on his shoulder, I turn into his neck as he strokes my hair. "You make me feel happy, Briggs."

"What else do I make you feel?"

I'm a little shy now. Little sprouts of nerves bloom through the pit of my stomach and this is it.

"You make me feel like everything is okay when I'm with you, you bring the best parts of me to life."

He pulls the sheet off of us, and his hands go to the back of my legs, pulling them so that my legs are on either side of him. It sparks heat deep below, to be straddling him like this.

He sits up, bringing my legs around his waist, sitting my bottom on the bed, my center right at his, my chest no longer touching his, we sit face to face, his arms around me, my legs around him.

"You think I ignore you but I'm always thinking about you, Bella." He brings my hair over my shoulder, lightly trailing his hand. "You're never not on my mind."

I smile at him. His words rise up like the sun, shining bright inside me… rising from my insides and out through my eyes, my smile.

"And that smile." His hand comes to my cheek and I close my eyes, pressing my face into his hand, smiling. This happy feeling, radiates through me.

I am the sun rising. With every sentence he speaks, I get higher and higher, burning brighter and brighter.

"I want to kiss you."

My eyes open to him as his eyes sear into mine as he leans forward. His strong arms wrap around me and under my butt, pulling me closer, bringing me off of the bed and onto his lap.

There's nothing but my panties and the thin threads of his shorts between us now.

He's not hard, but he's not soft. He's aware.

My arms thread through his and he looks at me before bringing his lips to my shoulder, placing a soft kiss there.

"Is this okay?" His hand comes to the top of my spine, softly dragging down to my waist.

My tummy flips as he lays another kiss right next to his last.

My breathing picks up as does my pulse and he waits for my queue. "Please," I beg him. I need this more than air right now.

He smiles against my shoulder a small satisfied scoff coming from him.

His lips are soft, full and beautiful. And they're on me.

And I'm on him.

My skin, my body, my mind… they're all crawling with desire. This immense happiness I feel has melded quickly into a burning passion for him, a need that grows stronger by the second. I tilt my neck to the side, an invitation to continue on.

He stops, pulling back and our eyes lock. This is that same look we've given each other a thousand times now. A look that communicates the need, the desire that's clear between us both.

I feel him harden beneath me and my hands move to his face.

"Please." I say quietly in question. Expressing the need.

"This baby soft skin…" He looks from my shoulders, down over my breasts.

He arches my back into him bringing my breasts to his chest. His words send me rocking into him. A slow rock forward and I can't wait, I'm ravenous for him. He's taking this too slow.

One strong hand moves to my hip, stilling me, the other reaches behind my neck, rubbing just under the hair at the nape of my neck.

His face moves closer now, but so slow. The anticipation kills me, his eyes still communicating how much he wants me.

He comes so close to my lips but moves to my cheek and down to my neck, thrilling me but letting me down at the same time. "I wanna take my time with you." He presses a kiss just below my ear. "Treasure you." Another kiss on my throat. "Taste you."

He's fully erect now, and my center is split on him. Right at his base as I rock into him again, throwing my head back, loving the feeling of his lips on me, loving that he's here.

"I've thought about this… imagined it different ways and dreamed about how your kiss would taste." Another kiss on my throat.

"Briggs please," I rock into him and press as deep as I can, letting him know how desperate I am.

"Please what?" He continues pressing soft, tiny, open mouthed kisses from one collarbone to the other and I'm festering. Dying for his lips on mine.

I bring both of my hands to his face, pulling him from my neck to look at me. "Please kiss me."

His hands move to my thighs, around to my butt and he presses me into him, while slowly coming into me. And then, eyes wide open, he's there.

His lips meet mine.

Two silhouettes in the dark, lit up by fireworks inside. Our lips, soft, warm and wet, stack on top of each other, and fall into the most organic motion.

He lets out a low sound and I'm moaning from the sheer euphoric feeling popping through me. It's like we've done this all our lives. His lips know mine and they know where to go— how to move without my direction.

Our lips were made for this.

He angles his face to the side, pressing his tongue inside, licking my tongue so softly and it shoots desire straight to my core. He's rock hard beneath me and I'm getting wetter by the minute.

"I want you so bad. Need you." I tell him breathlessly through our kiss.

"I'll give it to you." He kisses me again and then pulls back, his hand on my neck, eyes on mine, and he licks his lips. His beautiful lips. There are no lips more beautiful than Brigham Elijah Hendry's lips.

He sucks another kiss from me, speaking through it, "I'll treat you so good, girl." I'm flying now, wrapped up in his arms, pressed gently into his chest, mouths in motion like we have one mind.

His hands come to the bottom of my tank and he slowly lifts it. My arms raise with it, but he doesn't lift it off of me, just trails my sensitive sides instead. When he brings it back down, I let my arms fall back around his neck, slightly disappointed that he's not stripping me bare, I ache for him already.

He quickly spins me until he's lowering me onto my back, and with fierce eyes he looks primal above me.

I feel the same way, this need so thick I ache below.

He rises to his knees above me, looking down at me, looking over my body.

"Take your shorts off." I tell him, dying to feel him inside.

"Shhhh… we've got time." His hands are on my sides, his fingers press just under my hip, "Raise up for me." I immediately obey his command.

Slowly, he pulls the sheet from under me, adjusting it so that we're both underneath. I'm clenching beneath him with a building ache that's becoming painful. He's between my legs, laying over me, trailing kisses up my stomach as his hand trails my waist.

He comes up to my neck and sprinkles soft kisses all the way to my lips. When his warm soft lips meet mine again, everything falls away. The ache below, the fear of him leaving, the whispers of pain that live deep down inside. It all falls away and I give into his kiss.

I've never experienced chemistry like this. Finding a person and being with them intimately… sharing only just a kiss but already feeling like that person is another extension of yourself. That's how I feel right now. Like one of us flows right into the other.

His lips move slow and sweet and his tongue softly connects with mine, a touch that's so delicious and sweet it makes my heart swell twenty times its size inside my chest. This overwhelming feeling so intense, starts from a place deep down and expands until it reaches every edge of me. It takes me over and I pour it into him.

He doesn't take his lips from mine as he speaks, "Go with me tomorrow. We'll spend the night on the coast and I'll have you back the next day."

I don't waste a minute. "I'll go anywhere with you."

And we continue with our lips locked, this delicious new feeling covering me in bliss.

I kiss him with all the need that's deep inside, all the happiness he gives me and all the feelings that pool in my heart for him. He's filled me with so much, so fast it's almost like this is a dream. But he's real.

We're real and we're going for it.

For a day at least.

That thought has me holding on so tight. Scared to fall before he leaves, but knowing it's not my choice.

.

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A/N: Thank you to the moon for all of your reviews. All this love (and hate, lol) for these flawed characters, I'm just blown away and touched that I'm able to take you on this journey. Thank you so much for your kind words.

It seems that Bella's got herself in a predicament. While Edward's figuring his "girlfriend shit" out, Bella seems to be more than figuring her "boyfriend shit" out. Looks pretty sticky to me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and as always, thank you for reading :0)