Disclaimer - I left, and not a moment too soon. One of them arrived in the village, looking for me. I manage to reach the woods - the one place I have the advantage. It is not a thing they advertise, but they have a single weakness - they are over engineered. They can run faster, jump further, heal quicker, think better, lift greater, but it all comes at price. The price is endurance. It will need far more food than I will, so if it can't find me quickly, it must retreat, hunt, or starve to death. I know it does not consider those options. So it will just attempt to kill me - its only option. So this deadly battle will begin. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

The Monday morning broke with a minor accident on the way to work. I in the end, I had to draw a transmutation circle in the road, clearing away the pigeon feathers. I just wished it didn't keep happening.

Blackhammer was late again, but because I am a generous officer I did not mention it. Instead I simply said 'Private, have you completed your homework?'

'Yes sir!' Blackhammer replied, saluting. He handed me a piece of paper. I inspected it.

'Blackhammer, this was supposed to be a three thousand word essay on the vital processes and requirements for a transmutation. While this seems to be a drawing of a circle with an equation of 'stuff + knowledge of stuff + knowledge of new stuff = new stuff'.'

'Yes sir, i think that is what I wrote, sir.'

'Private, do you not wish to become an alchemist? To learn the sacred knowledge, to use it in service to your country?!' I asked him.

'Em, permission to grunt non-commitantly, sir?'

'Permission granted, Blackhammer.' I said.

'Ugnuh, sir!' he replied.

'I don't know, Private, if you don't buck up this whole department may fall! And then what/ Might Central crumble to ashes, might this great nation fall, because of laziness of but a few-' I was interrupted by the phone ringing. I picked it up and said 'Major Longwood speaking?'

'Ah, hello, Major,' a familiar voice replied. 'It's been a while. It's Colonel Mustang, the Flame Alchemist.'

Colonel Mustang! He was the one who set me up? Was he also responsible for the latest play against me? Who knows how deep his conspiracies go? I calmed myself, and responded. 'Colonel. To what do I owe the pleasure.'

'That's simple enough. I'm here to call in my favour.'

So that was his game! So what did he want out of me? What nefarious scheme would I be dragged into?

'What do you want?' I asked him.

'Well, you may have heard that I'm being transferred to Central.' I had heard it rumoured, but thought little of it. I regretted that now! I should have prepared for this! 'And you know what, I've been given room 246. Not a very good office, I'm sure you're aware. So, I was hoping you could assist me in getting a better office. Perhaps' the noise of ruffling paper came through the phone ' office 48?'

'Well, I'm not sure I can manage such a thing –'

'Or I could reveal your actions in the Eastern Area. The files would propably be left with my replacement here –'

'Alright, dammit!' I shouted. 'I'll get the room for you!'

'Why thank you.' Mustang said to me. 'See you in Central, Major.' He hung up.

So that was this wicked game, his terrible scheme unto which I had no escape! He wanted me to organise room swaping!

I came back to Blackhammer to plan this. A map of central command was laid out, the two rooms marked.

'Why on earth does he care so much?' I wondered. 'They're just rooms!' He shouldn't care so much about such trivial things.

'Well sir, maybe it's an office politics thing?' Blackhammer suggested.

'What do you mean, Private?' I asked.

'Well, look at room 48.' He pointed at the map. 'It's a bigger room, but is also closer to Fuhrer's office, and general staff. Plus, it's along the corridor between the mess and most of the high commands offices – I guess its good to hear whats going on and catch people going for lunch?'

'You may be right there.' I admitted. 'Well done, Private.'

'We used to fight over rooms at home. The third room along the landing had a tree next to the window, so you could-'

'Enough, Blackhammer. You have much to do!' I handed him my copy of Alistair Limes famous work This and That. 'I want you read this. It is a highly useful alchemical tome – know all of it, and you may know enough to start practising alchemy.' I gave it to him, and Blackhammer almost buckled under the weight. 'Please the ignore the chapter on medical alchemy, however. Most of the anatomical diagrams are covered in speech bubbles and moustaches.' It was quite an old copy.

'But sir, don't you want my help?' He asked, struggling the book onto the table.

'No, Blackhammer. I got myself into this mess, and I'll deal with this entirely on my own!'

'So you can't deal with it?' I asked Corporal Brightsilver.

'No. First, it's not my job, I just do records. Secondly, the current person using that room outranks both of us. Third, no amount of ironing is going to be worth the bother.' She told me.

'I can also do stitching and washing!' I said, hopefully. Brightsilver sighed.

'Alright, who is in room 48 right now?' I asked her.

'General Raven.' She said, with a bit of disgust. My heart sank. A general? That would make things much more difficult. Still I had to try. 'Could I have his file?'

'Sure, have fun with this, Major.' She handed it to me.

Opening the file, I recognised the face – a tanned skin, with a trim moustache. I occasional act working to make dress uniforms for some of the central command, meaning I have some knowledge of them. From what I remembered of Raven, the man was a fool. He didn't even know what the difference between a cravat and a tie was!

A plan began to concoct in my head. But it would require no small amount of skill, cunning, and determination – but I think all will agree that these are things that I, Egbert Longwood, the Cloth Alchemist, are renowned for!

I knocked on room 48 three times. Eventually, after some waiting, a young officer opened it for me. 'Are you here to see Lieutenant General Raven?' she asked.

'Yes – I have urgent business here.' I said, holding up my pocket watch.

The officer opened the door, showing me the large expansive room. General Raven was sitting at his desk, reading a piece of paper. 'Ah, Egbert! Hello there! Nice to see you!'

'Hello, General!' I saluted. 'I fear I come with important business. For only your ears, General.' I eyed the lieutenant next to me.

'very well – please stand outside for a moment, Lisa.' He gestured her out of the room. As she closed the door behind her, I said 'have you heard of Operation Enduring Resistance?' I asked.

'No I haven't. This is an operation you are involved in?'

'Yes sir – it's from the Fuhrer himself. An alchemical research project. Now, the details are under wraps, to prevent compromising security, but it involves certain alchemical solutions to combat problems, if you understand what I mean.'

Well, it was all true. It just required a little twisting of words. I hated to do it, but I must! Now I just had to hope the General wouldn't ask too many questions.

'Don't worry, I understand. I know exactly the sort of thing you alchemists are doing. So what can I do to help?'

I was surprised – I had expected more problems. But I pressed on. 'I require the use of this room for a few days – maybe more. I'm afraid sir I'm going to have to ask you to move out permanently. It has certain unique locational advantages for my research.' I pretended to check my notes – in reality my shopping list. I was surprised to see we need half the normal amount of eggs. 'I have a replacement room ready, room 246.'

'Yes, yes, of course.' General Raven replied. 'How long would I need to move for?'

'Permanently, as I said, sir.' I told him. 'The research's timescale is unknown.'

'Very well, I understand. And I'll say I transferred of my own choice – to high up for me, this room.' He smiled at me, eyes nearly shut. 'We'll keep the reality, hidden, shall we?'

'Thank you, sir! I won't take up anymore of you time!' I saluted.

'Not at all Major. Good to see you.' I turned and left as we waved me away.

'Well, this is nice to see.' came the voice of Colonel Mustang into the room. It was a few days later, where I and Blackhammer had occupied room 48 for research. A selection of possible eye patches were laid around the room and a few circles were drawn on boards on the floor. We both stood up and saluted as the Colonel entered with a selection of officers.

'Colonel Mustang, the room you asked for is yours.'

'So I see. Everyone, please help move the Majors items out of the room.' With a selection of 'Yes sir's, the circles and books were removed. 'You too, Blackhammer.' I said. He saluted, and carried out the remaining things.

'So, nice room, this. I'm impressed you managed to get General Raven to move.' The Colonel said.

'Thank you, sir. If that will be all, might I just ask – why that favour?' Perhaps if I better understood this man, then I would know how to deflect his manipulation in the future!

'That's easy, Major.' The Colonel sat down at his desk. 'Arriving at Central and getting a General's office is no small feat. Plus its location, it gives me some reputation to work with. Believe me, Major, that reputation is everything.'

'I see. In any case, I shall return to my work. Good bye sir.' I turned to leave.

'Not yet, Major. Just one last little thing.' I turned back. 'I just want to remind you that you may have paid your debt, but the threat I had is still quite possible. So if you ever feel you wish to act against me, or keep something from me that might harm me, it might just cost you your career. Just a thought, Major.' He began to unpack, looking away from me. I walked out, disgruntled.

I arrived back at my office, to see Blackhammer was unpacking. 'So that's all done, then?' he asked.

'I hope so, Private, Now we can return to our real work! How have your studies progressed, Blackhammer.'

'Well, sir! I've read the first chapter so far!' he said proudly.

'Blackhammer , there are over two hundred chapters in that book. Is that really that impressive?'

'What, but the contents page only has-'

'Pages, Blackhammer. Contents pages.'

'Oh.' He looked embarrassed. 'I didn't see those.'

Despite Blackhammer's lack of performance, this was another great victory for me! A debt had been wiped clean, and I was now free to pursue my own goals with a light heart! But we must be always vigilant! So soon will it will necessary for me, Egbert Longwood, the Cloth Alchemist, to do his duty again!

I need to do more with Brightsilver. I like writing her, but I never seem to give her anything to do beyond 'serve as a information point for Egbert.' However, the only plot lines I have in mind so far are Blackhammer related, so that might have to be a while yet.

Still, let me know your thoughts and ideas. This all from your friendly neighbourhood Snaketooth