Hey everyone, I tried to make this chapter really long to make up for a prolonged absence for this fic that's coming up. In a few days I'm going away to work at a summer camp, so I wont be able to update as frequently... or at all. I really hope I'll get the chance to get on fan fiction, but if not I hope this is enough to make up for it.

on the bright side, I'm going to make sure I write a ton this summer so I'll have all sorts of things to post when I get back. I really love all the reviews, fav's and follows, so please don't feel unappreciated or what not! now, I hope this chap is long enough for you!

oh, and I don't speak Spanish.

...Just keep that in mind for later on. It'll make sense. probably.

"Kill us?!" I sputtered as I stumbled back.

"Kill them?" Spiderman repeated, as if the thought sounded utterly ridiculous to him, which it should.

I shot an accusing look at Kass.

"What did you do to make her want to kill us?!"

"I don't know… escaped?! I was only trying to find you!"

"Wha-AH!" I screamed, ducking as a quill shot over my head and hit the back wall with a "TWANG!"

"The time for talk is over. DIE!"

Kass was forced to jerk out of the was as Jay bird fired more of the little quills out of her fingertips, and Spider-man's eyes widened as he ripped free before a needle impaled the wall where his head had been.

I darted out of the way as another volley of quills fired off behind me, praying to God that none of them hit me.

Word to the wise- Linzy Keeper is deathly afraid of needles; especially needles wielded by psychopathic secret agents turned assassin.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I dove behind the checkout counter, yelping as something grabbed the back of my shirt.

"Maybe I wasn't clear enough," Jay-bird started as she pulled me towards her.

"The crazy one caused me a lot of trouble and isn't worth my time… but you've yet to cause me much disdain. Come quietly and I won't have to kill you along with your friend. As for you spider-man," she spoke quietly with a deadly edge to her voice, "stay out of this if you want to continue living."

I felt his eyes on me as she said this, and turned my head to face him. "You should listen to her, this isn't your fight. But, since I'm pretty sure you aren't going to do that, I'd appreciate the help."

He looked at me for a moment, probably surprised I already knew what he was going to do, then rolled his shoulders back and tilted is head cockily.

"Now, I have no clue what's going on, but I'm going to take a guess that since you're threatening to kill my co-this girl I've never met before, you are the bad guy." His mask squinted, and he leaned forward into a fighting stance. "Sorry lady, but I don't have it in me to sit around while people pick on the innocent, so I have to decline your offer."

"As you wish."

Jay bird tightened her grip and put me into a headlock.

"If you come any closer, I will end her right here. You may want to play the hero, but if those you wish to protect are in danger you'll do nothing. Stay back, Spiderman."

I gasped for air as her arm nearly choked me. She wasn't bluffing, if he moved even the slightest bit forward she'd constrict even more and I'd blackout...or die. The fact she was aiming for the latter really dulled my odds for survival.

"No, wait! I won't move. Don't hurt her." He waved his hands franticly, mask eyes wide and expressive.

Jay relaxed her hold on me, and in that moment there was a surprisingly loud, "HYAAA!" as kass body-slammed into the villain and knocked her back through the window.

"KASS!" I wailed, and I dashed outside against my better judgment.

I didn't even think as I rushed forward, throwing myself at the two and pushing my friend away from certain doom. We grappled and the pavement of the street bit into my back as we fought. I was stronger than Jay, thanks to my past adventures, but she was faster and deadlier.

I gripped her hands to try and keep her from shooting me with needles, but she fired anyway and it was all I could do to hope no one got hit. I tried to keep her hands pointing at the sky but she was fighting with her feet and elbows, jabbing me in the face and kicking my shins so it made it difficult to still her deadly nails.

I rolled out from under her and sprang to my feet as fast as I could.

Spiderman had been hit with a poisoned needle, and it stuck out of his shoulder with an evil glint as Kass lay unconscious nearby. He was moving incredibly slowly, so I guessed it must've been a paralyzing poison.

I breathed heavily as Jay stood up and clutched my arm as I tried not to fall over.

"I've got to give it to you, Keeper. You put up a good fight. Sadly, it's not enough. Give up peaceably and I won't even have to quit my job. I bring you home, you live, Sand lives, and we all win."

I glared at her, but I could already feel the exhaustion and my asthma was kicking in.

My knees buckled and I slid to the ground in defeat.

"Fine," I wheezed, "take us back. Have scientists pick us apart. Kill us afterward, so we don't give away government secrets we don't have and never will." I looked up defiantly and spat at her feet.

"As if."

She growled furiously and grabbed me by the neck, hoisting me up so my toes didn't touch the ground.

I knew I had gone too far, but honestly I didn't care. She could bully whoever she wanted too but I wasn't about to let her hand us over to heartless government officials like a couple of dangerous criminals.

With a sharp prick and painful fire, a single quill delivered a paralyzing blow to my heart. I shuttered furiously, and slumped over as my motor skills grinded to a halt.

Jay bird leaned threateningly over me, a cold smirk on her face. "And here I was thinking you'd put up more of a fight. I guess I'll have to think of something else more entertaining…" she threw me aside and I grunted as the cement rolled under me. Where is everyone? How has no one come to help us?

I heard a grunting sound and winced as a heeled boot met my shoulder. With a single motion jay rolled me onto my back and I could finally see. She was carrying Kass over her shoulder like a sack, and just as carefully let her slide down off her arm to land besides me. Kass was out cold, her breathing shallow and dirt smeared on her face.

Jay bird took something out of her boot and toyed with it, rolling a square blood-colored box around in her hands.

"Time to go home." she whispered menacingly, throwing the cube at us and stepping back.

I could only guess at what it was. It had to be a device that took us back to our universe…but I can't leave with her! I have to protect my friends and family. I have to look after Kass, the goofball that she is.

I willed myself to do something, anything, and my fingers twitched. I kept my teeth I tucked my arms under myself and pushed, rising up on my elbow just in time to catch the cube before it hit me. I grabbed it in my hand, closing my fist and crushing it in a surprising show of strength. It crinkled like it was made of tinfoil, and a loud zapping sound emerged from within. A bright flash of light emitted from the box, and what can only be described as a portal opened up above it for a split second before spitting something out and disappearing from existence.

"Que mier…Que, donde estoy?"

A girl with wildly curly hair sat up from where she'd been thrown out of the portal, and looked around in confusion.

I don't know much Spanish, but I think that means something along the lines of "where the heck am I?".

She was in her pajamas, and as she gaped at the demolished street her eyes fell on Spiderman. "…bloody he-"

She looked frazzled, like she was about to have a heart attack. I forced myself to my feet and, after giving the startled Jay-bird a nice…sedative (*cough*, punching her in the face, *cough*.) zombied my way over to her, one foot in front of the other in a painfully slow march.

I slouched down and looked her in the eyes.

"Let me guess, you are from a universe where Spiderman is a comic book, movie, and cartoon character, correct?"

She winced, and nodded slowly.

"What is going on here?!"