Dear kind readers, I found this letter very difficult to write for several reasons. I wasn't certain that Shane meant that she was afraid that she was literally going to die. Between the fact that Steve told her to bring her passport, the look of the cyber outpost, and the events in one scene in particular, one could conclude that they were being bombed or that bombing was taking place nearby. However, the Chinese take-out boxes threw me. Was her statement in the final scene of HG to be taken literally? I'm going to write as if it was meant literally but I'm not sure.
March 16
It is late. I couldn't sleep. I think of you every day but I was going to wait until Sunday to write you. In my mind, it was going to be our day. But right now, I'm not sure Sunday will come. While we have exchanged many true words, good words, we have many words yet to say.
The region we are in has become unstable. Steve keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine - that we are safe. I just don't feel safe. All I feel is fear - fear that I won't get to come home to you. You have given me every reason to want to come home - the hope of a second date, a third date - of perfecting our dance. Surely, we haven't begun this dance for it to end like this. Have we?
The events of the past few days have taken me back to the afternoon we spent in the bank vault. I was so afraid. I think you knew that rush of emotion from me wasn't about the fate of Katherine and Jonathan. You just got up from your chair, came to me, held me in your arms, and told me that it was ok. You didn't make me feel foolish. You made me feel safe. You were so strong and so…tender. I asked you to pray and you told me that you already had. Oh Oliver, please be praying now.
As much as I could use your strength, the security of your arms, I am glad that you aren't here. I couldn't bare it if anything happened to you. This is why I must write you tonight. Some words cannot go unsaid. You must hear these words - If anything happens to me and I do not get to see Sunday come, you must not freeze again like a snowman left standing in the cold. You are the best man that I have ever known. You must go on dancing.
You are forever in my heart,
Shane