This is the fifth letter referenced in Higher Ground. I wrote from the perspective that Shane still thinks that she will get to come home after serving a few weeks. I hope to continue writing this letter series. One letter will be her realizing that she isn't returning soon.

March 26

Dear Oliver,

I waited ten days to write again. My last two letters were written from a position of worry and fear. If Sunday had not come, I could not leave a legacy of fear. NO MORE. After I finished writing you last, I got back in bed and began praying, I fell asleep praying. Falling asleep while praying beats staying awake afraid. I hope God doesn't mind. I woke the next morning, determined to find a way to survive it all so that I can come back to the DLO.

When I woke on Friday after writing my last letter, I ate breakfast with a woman that works in an area behind me. I had noticed her before. One thing that stood out about her was that she never seemed afraid or flustered. I discovered that she is a woman of deep faith. You would like her. I hate to admit this, but she reminds me of Dale.

We eat at least one meal together every day. We aren't on the same team. We don't always work the same shift. Sometimes we eat lunch together; sometimes it is dinner. But so far we haven't missed a day. She tells me all about her family and I tell her about mine – my DLO family. I believe you would say that she is a God-sent friend, delivered just in time.

I also have developed an exercise routine. This isn't exactly a place you can go for a run. I work out in my room. It helps me to feel - normal.

When my work seems too big for me, the challenge too enormous, I imagine you standing beside me, encouraging me. You tell me that I'm amazing at least twice a day.

I also take a few minutes every day to search for Hattie. I am determined to find her. I know that you will find Gabe. Looking for her helps me feel closer to you. If the two of them aren't already together, you and I can work to reunite them when I return. I miss working together.

I am going to survive this, and we will work together again.

Everything will be exactly as it was before I left. I am going to walk through those squeaky, double doors of the DLO, put my bag on my desk, and take off my coat. You will walk over to help me.

I will say, "Good morning, Oliver."

You will reply, "Good morning Ms. McInerny." (Because it is more important than ever that we maintain professionalism at work.)

You will glance around the DLO, and seeing no one, you will steal a kiss. Yes, Oliver O'Toole, you will kiss me in the DLO. Maybe a quick kiss? Just a little peck on check? Well a girl can dream.

Then Norman and Rita will come in together, pushing an entire cart of lost letters. Rita will rattle off data related to some partial postal code or stamp on some lost letter. Norman will tell us how one his many cousins can help us solve our latest mystery.

We will all go to the Mailbox Grille for lunch. Joe will meet us. He will hug me and tell me how glad he is that I am back.

Until this happens, every morning I will keep the faith and finish the course.

The calendar tells me that spring began last week in Denver. You once sang "when it's springtime in the Rockies, I'll be coming home to you." Well, it's springtime and I can't wait to come home to you.

Your sweetheart (I hope),

Shane