Alright, alright. I am thoroughly appalled. I just reread my story, and the first few chapters are absolutely horrendous. I have improved so much as a writer since beginning universal webs, oh geez, I'm working myself into hysterics its so bad. I'm torn between a rewrite- it desperately needs a rewrite, I mean, ugh! As a reader I wouldn't read that- and keeping it since it shows how far I've come as an author. Ugh, the calamity.

…Sorry, that turned into a rant.

Anyway, on to the "WALL OF THANKS", as per usual.

Minori (guest)

Grapejuice101

NightOwl Fury

….thanks you three! You're the only ones that reviewed the last chapter, so I really appreciate you. Not that the other 19 people that follow this are slackers or anything… its ok, I can be too lazy to review sometimes as well. Well, let's hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!

-R.E

Chapter: eh, who cares anymore?

The first thing I saw when I woke up was the brilliant shining face of my dear cousin inches away from my own.

Understandably, I freaked out.

"WWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

My arms flailed in self-defense, swiping across Peter's chest and striking his face before I even registered who it was I was attacking.

"Ow! Linzy!" Cried Peter with a pout on his face.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry Peter! Geez, you scared me!" I sputtered, my hand on my heart. I'm not a morning person, but if you wake me up like that I'm not falling back asleep anytime soon. Which- come to think of it- was exactly what he was going for. "Wait, seriously? You're just waking me up for school? Again?!"

He shrugged and smiled.

"Well, what can I say? You keep missing your alarm."

I groaned and flung a pillow at him half-heartedly.

"Get out of my room."

"Yes ma'am. Wouldn't want to be attacked for no reason- oh wait, I already was."

"Scram, Peter!" I yelled, smiling as the alarm clock met him squarely in the stomach.

"Ow!"

"I said, scram!"

"Scramming, scramming…"

I laughed as he toddled down the hallway with his hands guarding his head. Time to begin another day…

"Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam and the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day…" I sang quietly to myself in the lunch line. Just another day, no episode yet…well, at least It's Friday. I get so bored in between episodes.

…That's a complete lie, of course. Forgive my sarcasm. It's hard to be bored when I have to worry about not only about Kass and myself, but Val, Fi, Peter, the entire team, the world, and in a roundabout way, every single universe in existence.

Yup, I went there.

Big whoop-dee-doo, I know, but in all seriousness it's very possible I could mess something up bigtime and bring about the end of the world(s). Add that to the many side projects I have going on as R.E, and I'm drowning in worry.

I grabbed a pudding cup from the dessert tray and checked out my food before heading back to the table where my friends were sitting.

"Hey guys." I said, greeting the diverse group and taking the seat by Harry.

"Hey Linzy! Have you heard the news?"

"Hm?"

Peter rolled his eyes.

"He's just gossiping. There's a rumor going around that Spiderman goes to the school."

"Oh."

"Girls love heroes, so you all should help me spread the rumor that it's me. Sound good?"

MJ gave a small laugh. "It probably is you, Harry. Who else could afford all those webs he squirts all over everything?"

Oh. Yup, this is familiar.

"Spiderman doesn't squirt, MJ." Peter and I said in unison. We shared amused glances and I gestured for him to continue. "He shoots. And I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to pose as him right now."

I was about to remind everyone of how the sinister 6(5 at the time) had broken into our school to hunt him down, but before I could Flash came out of nowhere and knocked my cousin to the ground, taking his seat.

"Speaking of squirts…" He quipped, a wolfish smile on his face.

Peter jumped up and zipped back over to the jock, his angry glare easily up to par with my own.

"Thompson! Mr. Parker! Pay attention." Principal Coulson chastened and my ears perked up automatically. "Your gym teacher, Mr. Molskin, will be out due to a freak accident after last night's game."

Oh shoot, if I'd have figured it out I could've saved the poor dude. It must've really hurt when he was jettisoned over the football field…

"Mr. Jager will be your substitute until further notice."

I turned my glare on the so called "Mr. Jager". I really don't like taskmaster. A great villain, yes. That doesn't mean I don't want to kick his face in right now for being anywhere near me.

"I look forward to the challenge of unlocking your hidden…talents." He said meticulously, and my frown deepened. He's just so creepy.

Awkward phrasing or veiled threat? You be the judge.

Should I just ignore Peter's little pauses? There's so many, and they're starting to annoy me.

"I don't think I can take part in this." I intoned.

"Oh come on Linzy, it's just dodge ball. Are you scared that your little bookworm self can't play?" taunted Flash, and I felt tempted to remind him that he owes me. But instead I decided to play along.

"Um, no. I love dodgeball."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You're asking me to play against you, with all the jocks on your team, while my cousin is the only one left on the court." I replied flatly. "…Which, in retrospect, is against the rules anyway. You can't just pull a random bystander into the game at the last second."

"I can do whatever I want to. Besides, puny Parker over there looks like he could use a hand."

All throughout our conversation the other jocks on Flash's team were messing with my cousin, throwing the balls at him from all directions yet still allowing him room to maneuver. I hid a smile behind my hair and nodded.

"Point taken. Hey Pete, need some backup?" I jogged onto the court and danced around a few incoming rubber projectiles before stopping near Peter.

"Sure, if you don't mind being creamed alongside me!"

I gave him a slow-growing confident smile.

"Now Peter, why is it you think we're the ones to be creamed? I'm at least gonna try."

"If you say so."

I eyed the next ball to go flying and reached out, catching it and sending it gliding over to the other side. It hit one of Eugene's friends in the shoulder and knocked him out of the game.

"See Peter? We can at least make a dent-"

"WAIT!"

I could in fact, dodge this ball.

Sure you could. You're trying to make it easier for them you win, aren't you. AREN'T YOU?!

…but I chose not to, in order to protect my identity and thus all the kids in this school.

Uh huh. Right.

Even king jerk-Flash Thompson, who has it all but still thinks he has to get one up on me.

He doesn't have as much as you think. He lives in a gas station, the poor lug.

"DOH!" Peter exclaimed, taking a direct hit to the face.

"You lose, again." Flash said, throwing another ball at him.

"Hey, I'm still in this thing! Give me your best shot, Thompson. I'm not going down without a fight."

He looked up at me with a devious smile. "Alright, If you insist…" he picked up a ball, aimed, and threw with unerring precision.

…

…

(Pause for dramatic effect)

…

…

I caught the ball and sent it back at him, catching him in the stomach and sending him stumbling back a few paces.

"Oh yeah, bet you didn't see that coming, Eugene!" I exclaimed, fist pumping in triumph. I got hit a few seconds later, but I enjoyed the victory while it lasted; as did the rest of the people who'd been knocked out by Flash's team.

"Great job Linzy!" Peter said as he patted me on the back.

"Gee, thanks Peter." I said dryly.

"PARKERETTE!"

I cringed when I heard Flash practically howl with anger and turned timidly to face him. He had picked himself up off the ground and was looking at me with gritted teeth. Then he did something unexpected. He smiled. "You're alright." He said, with a flirtatious grin.

My eyes grew wide and I looked at Peter in fear.

Was Flash just…flirting with me?!

Holy guacamole, he was!

I am so NOT ok with that.

"I'm looking for finalists for the citywide athletic achievement contest. I want to see everything you've got in this obstacle course. Push yourselves to the limit. Don't give me less than 110%."

We were all standing in front of the obstacle course in the gym, and while everyone was listening intently to what Tasky had to say I was worrying about something else.

Flash had been FLIRTING with me, and had yet to stop. Every time I happen to look in his direction he's giving me suggestive glances and wiggly eyebrows.

Who even does that anymore?! I mean, come on, WIGGLY. EYEBROWS.

"You could learn something from him." Said Ava to my cousin, referring to the sub.

"How to creep people out?" he asked, and I nodded my head.

"I second that."

" , GO!"

Flash stepped out of line and puffed out his chest.

"I'll show you how it's done!" he exclaimed, dashing past us and onto the first obstacle. He scaled the rock wall quickly and leapt over the other side, landed in a crouch and ran on to the balance beam. He made his way across then headed to grab onto a rope where he swung across a low moat filled with water. One foot hit the liquid but the other was firmly planted, so he kept on. Over the hurdle he leapt, and I narrowed my eyes as I saw taskmaster coolly observing him from the sidelines. The last thing he had to do was dive through a tire suspended from the ceiling on a rope. He sailed through it easily and slid to a halt at Tasky's feet.

"First to finish. Good, huh coach? Am I in?"

Ignoring him he called for Ava to go. She swept through the course with the ease and grace of the tiger she was, followed by the rest of our class. The most notable of the bunch were the team, of course, but Harry as well, which didn't surprise me. Luke got caught in the tire, though, and that's funny no matter how many times I see it. I straight up burst out laughing when I saw his exasperated expression.

"Miss Parker, GO!" I gave a running start, fully intending to do my very best on this course, even If it was a fluke. I wanted to see just how much I was able to do before I tried out or slipped up; I'd been making a lot of progress because of my suit and it was time to put my muscles up to the test.

As soon as I got near the rock wall I jumped, grabbing the rocks as near to the top as I could and attempted to swing myself up over the edge.

"Yeah, go Linzy!" Flash yelled, and I flushed beet red.

Just ignore him, Linzy. Keep going.

I leaped down and landed on my toes- a fact which I was very proud of- and hurried over to the balance beam. I have pretty good balance, so I glossed over that pretty easily, and eagerly approached the next obstacle. The rope. I had to swing over the water and land on the other side.

"All right, here goes…" I clutched the rope and vaulted over the water, did a little half-flip thing and stumbled into my landing. "Yes! Foot didn't hit the water!"

"Great job, Linzy! Keep going!"

I smiled at Peter's encouraging words and jumped over the hurdle. I hit my knee on the way over but got up and ran to the tire.

Oh geez, will I be able to fit?Well… I've at least gotta try.

Run, run, leap…. Fumble, slide, fall…

I opened my eyes and looked around.

"Did I make it..?"

…..

…..

…..

"No, but it was a good try."

I sighed and worked my way to my feet. I really thought I'd be able to make it…

"That was great, Linzy!" Peter said as I walked back in line.

"Thanks. I didn't make the tire, though."

"That's ok. You did way better than I'm going to."

"Mr. Parker, you're last."

Yeah, because you're going to try to stink; that makes me feel so much better.

I elbowed peter.

"You can begin anytime today. The course doesn't run itself, Mr. Parker."

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and walked over to the starting point to start stretching. Bolting towards the rock wall he leapt up and grabbed the edge… He did not, however, make it over the wall; instead choosing to dangle, kicking his legs as if he were trying to find a foothold then fell on his back at the foot of the wall.

"Way to go, cousin." I cheered sarcastically.

Ignoring me, Tasky addressed the others.

"I'll see three of you here tomorrow for the final cut. Rand, Osborn, Thompson. The rest of you- anemic."

"Tomorrow? Saturday?" Danny asked in surprise.

"Did I stutter?"

"Danny, Flash, and Harry? Harry?! I aced that thing. Why am I not a finalist? Because I'm a girl?" Ava said stubbornly.

"Are you the only person on earth who sees school on a Saturday as a good thing?" Peter inquired as he ran his fingers through his hair. She only frowned in response and lowered her voice so I wouldn't hear. I took that as my cue and turned away. I already knew what was going on, and I had some plans to make.

"Hey Linzy, Peter doesn't want to come and run the course again with me tomorrow. Do you-"

"No, Ava, sorry." I cut her off. "I have to meet up with some other friends tomorrow. Besides, I did the best I could today; coming back tomorrow wouldn't make much of a difference."

3rd person pov

R.E turned her head slightly, buried deep in the shadows of Coulson's office. It's already getting late. Where- ah. There he is now.

Just as Coulson sat down at his desk, a mass of darkness detached itself from the wall and slinked towards him.

"Coulson!"

Thwack.

He brought his hand down hard on the back of the man's head. R.E winced, but she couldn't find a way around it. She didn't want Coulson awake for whatever happens next.

"You know, I really wish you hadn't done that." The girl said smoothly, stepping out of the shadows. Taskmaster turned slowly to face her.

"So now you show yourself. I've been wondering who else was in this room."

"You're good, Taskmaster, but not good enough." She perched herself on the edge of Coulson's desk and crossed her legs. "You do realize I can't let you attack the students of this school just to find the arachnid, don't you?"

"Who are you? One of Fury's lackeys?"

"Getting right to the point, are we?" She laughed, tilting her head. "Not very polite."

It struck her that what she was doing was quite foolhardy and idiotic.

"Um, Linzy? You should stop now." Whispered TB; in many ways her voice of reason.

'Ah, spoilsport.' R.E replied.

"At any rate, I have a proposition for you." She said, lithely hopping off the desk. "Instead of tearing apart the school in search of Spiderman for your employer, I am prepared to…double what Doctor Octavius has offered to pay you for your services."

"Oh really?"

"Mm hm." She pulled three thick wads of cash out from TB and placed them on Colson's desk. "More, if you are so inclined."

"Hmm. A tempting offer, yet sadly, I must decline."

Instead of replying she simply activated stealth mode and melted into the shadows.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Taskmaster." She said as she disappeared. "Look forward to seeing me again."

Time for plan B.

The next morning finds me in front of the school, watching the boys appear and go inside one by one.

I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing.

I thought, frowning as I observed Harry's limo pulling up to the school.

Maybe I should stop meddling. I was acting stupid last night.

I shook my head and slinked into the school, making my way quietly to the gym.

I just wish I was better at making plans.

I stopped and slapped my forehead.

Oh geez. Stan. Coulson. I was too focused on Taskmaster; I need to be more considerate.

I took off running to the office, berating myself for being an awful person.

I can't lose sight of what I need to do. Others come first, whatever else, second. When did I forget that?

"Don't come into my office."

"Yeah, yeah, drop it Mr. Phil. Spider and White Tiger are on their way, they can handle Taskmaster."

I spared myself the embarrassment of seeing him in his underwear by focusing on the ropes. I tore them from the ceiling and carefully set him down on the ground, averting my eyes elsewhere as he clothed himself.

"You know him?" He asked when he was done, straightening his tie.

"Yeah. Assassin. Hates you, Fury, and Shield. All that jazz. Now if you excuse me, I have to go rescue Stan from a robot arm, even though he can probably get out himself, seeing he works for you guys...Oh, and you better stay here till those two find you, they're gonna need some directions about what to do." I rambled, and with that I ducked out of his office, my conscious somewhat soothed. I gave him a few hints, perhaps too many. He should realize by now that I know a whole lot more than I should, anyway.

"Hello? Is anyone there? I'm in quite a pickle! Hello?"

There were long shadows on the walls around him, the giant metal arm clamping him to the wall in a far from comfortable position.

"Hey Stan." I greet, pulling him out of the massive metal fingers. "You better get out of here, a huge fight's about to go down."

"Gee thanks!" he stopped and his eyebrows rose. "Who-"

"R.E! What are you doing here?"

I turned just in time to see my cousin and Ava come running around the corner.

"What, no "Hey R.E! Thanks for coming!"?" I asked playfully. I shot Stan a warning look and he skedaddled away. I love Stan Lee, but I have no clue if he actually IS Stan Lee in this universe or just a lookalike for the purposes of his beloved cameos; So for now I'll just focus on the task ahead.

"I believe agent Coulson has filled you in on taskmaster?"

"Sort of. We have to move fast; there are kids in there!"

"You guys go on ahead, I'll double back to make sure that no one else is caught in the school's security snares then catch up with you."

Spiderman gave a curt nod and continued to run, not having enough time to argue with me about my plan. 'It's not like those two needed my help anyway…'

I turned around and did just what I said I would for a change; I doubled back and combed through the school. In doing this I was able to save a few more of the staff from the traps before herding them out the doors of the school. Finally finished, I hurried back to the gym only to find the lights out and the sound of fighting coming from the darkness.

'T.B, does this thing have night vision?'

'You know it!' He chirped, and I activated it so I could see. Moving silently into the pitch-black gym, I shot a thumbs up to Spiderman, who was busy throwing dodgeballs at a figure I assumed to be Taskmaster.

"It's about time you showed up!" He quipped as White Tiger started webbing the villain to the bleachers, and I rolled my eyes.

"Uh huh."

To Ava he said, "Nice shot! You been practicing?" she chuckled. "Now I know why you use these; This is fun!" with one last thwip from her wrist the lights came on, and Taskmaster made one last ditch attempt to save his hide.

"It's not too late for you to join me."

"Yeah? You may think I'm a loser, but I don't." The spider replied, and I felt pride swell in my chest at his conviction.

Taskmaster narrowed his yellow eyes.

"Then I'll simply expose your identity as Flash Thompson, to the entire world!"

"Which Flash Thompson?" White Tiger asked, stepping aside. "That one?"

I smiled beneath my mask and watched as Flash and Harry walked up.

"Yeah, LOSER!" Flash yelled, then gave a start at Tasky's glare. "…He can't get out, right?"

I walked over and stood next to my teammates, looking taskmaster in the eye.

"He's SpiderMAN, Tasky, not SpiderTEEN."

Peter nodded in agreement. "But this school is still under my watch," he commented, "just like the rest of the city. There's a lesson for you here-"

"-Yeah! You just got schooled!" Flash taunted, and I face palmed.

"Not helping." My cousin stated, and Flash shrunk a little in his gaze.

Taskmaster ignored both of them and stared at me, his hand already holding the smoke bomb he would use to escape. I moved to stop him, but only got close enough to hear him whisper something in my ear.

"I should've accepted your offer."

Then poof, he was gone, the only thing remaining of him the rubber mask that had been "Mr. Jager".

Creepy.

Huzzah! This chapter wrestled with me for a long time, and Eugene "Flash" Thompson sorta took on a life of his own. To honest, he wasn't actually supposed to be in this chapter until his appearance at the very end. Stupid jock took my plans and shoved them down the toilet when he challenged Linzy to a game of dodgeball and started flirting with her. If he's ooc, blame Flash- of-my-imagination: not the authoress.

Before I disappear for another few weeks, a little hint about the next chapter is in order. It's an original chapter! Does not follow an episode! May include cousin-ly bonding! (You're welcome, NightOwl Fury)

And that's all, Folks!

-R.E