Speedwriting Prompt Fills

by Exactlywhat

Well... I found the TF Speedwriting Community on LJ, and sorta kinda maybe started writing some. Figured most of these are pretty much one-shots, and it'd kinda be a waste of space to post them all as separate stories. So, here they are. *Note: this will always be marked as complete (even though it isn't), because every fill is its own story, and this isn't one continuous story.

34. Lost

Title: Lost

Rating: T

Continuity: Any

Characters: Unspecified

Disclaimer: I still don't own. How many more times do I have to write it?

Prompt: 4. a precious thing lost

I knew before they told me. He was gone. My spark was empty. It wasn't pain, exactly, though I had felt his when he had... moved on. It wasn't pain. It didn't hurt. It was a hole. An absence of everything. A deep, black abyss, sucking away at everything that had once mattered.

Because he was gone. His spark didn't spin anymore. I would never feel the heat of his armor as he lay next to me on the berth. I would never see that sparkle in his optic as he pounced on me as soon as we were through the door to our quarters. I would never feel his emotions pressed against mine, or hear his wry comments whispered across our sparks. I would never stare at him as he recharged, marveling at how this beautiful creature had let himself become mine, and how I had become his.

He would never be waiting for me in our quarters with a warm cube of energon after a long shift. Never visit me in Med Bay when I was injured, and never sneak back in at night to lay with me, curled against my side. Never again would he smile at me, speaking without words. He would never hold my hand as we walked down the hallway, and he would never sneak a kiss whenever we were in a dark, secluded corner.

I was empty. It didn't hurt, but I wanted it to. It should have hurt, without him there, but it didn't. It was just empty. Numb. Achingly, horrifyingly numb.

And I was dying because of it. Empty, disconnected, unattached. There was nothing for me here, without his precious spark beating in tandem with mine. No mech could pull me back. The war didn't matter anymore. The ideals I once fought for meant nothing. Freedom? What was that, when I wasn't free to feel? Acceptance? What was that, when there was no spark waiting to accept mine at a moment's notice? Honor? What was that, when all I held dear was gone, my pride gone with it?

My one, my precious spark-bound love, the one I had tied my spark to, was lost to this world, and I was lost with him.