On the evening of the next day, James was lying on his bed in his room in Potter manor. A bottle of Firewhiskey was sitting on his nightstand together with a matching glass. He was already working on his third glass and had no intention to stop until things felt better. He knew that he was going to regret going on a binge tomorrow, but at the moment he did not care. Alcohol was a lousy way to address your problems, but it beat moping around sober. He itched for a cigarette, but he had not brought any of his home, because he wanted to quit. Alcohol and cigarettes were too much, one vice was more than enough. His bad mood had started on the ride back home. Remus had opted to stay in Hogwarts over the break, even though James had repeatedly offered him to stay at Potter manor with him. Remus's parents were going on holiday over the winter holidays and Remus had refused to come with them. The full moon was the day before Christmas and he did not want his parents to worry about him during their trip. Obviously, his parents had protested, but in the end Remus's stubbornness had won. James did not approve of his friend's martyrdom, but he had kept his mouth shut. Remus was sensitive about his condition and telling him how to live his life was a recipe for disaster. So, he was staying in the castle without any of the other marauders to keep him company. Peter was at home with his mother while Sirius was ordered back to his family's mansion for some family gathering. Normally, James would feel bad for Sirius, but as they were no longer friends, all he felt was disappointment. So far his parents had not commented on his coldness regarding Sirius, though they must have noticed that something was amiss. Sirius had only hailed James's parents from afar on the platform which was extremely uncommon. James was glad that Sirius had refrained from walking over to them. That conversation would have been terribly awkward. However, James doubted that his luck would continue for long. His parents were notoriously nosy and would surely starting grilling him about what was going on with him very soon.

James was not sure how he felt about this. On the one hand he had no desire at all to relive that fateful night once more on the other hand his parents might help him find a way to mend his friendship with Sirius. While James was not sure whether he even wanted to be friends with Sirius again, he could not deny missing him. He could not remember ever being this confused in his life. Even his continued struggle with Lily was easy compared to this. Lily. The thought of here caused him to grimace. He took another sip of whiskey and enjoyed the burn down his throat. She was another thing troubling him. Since their heated conversation about the upcoming event, she had not spoken to him. Marlene had let slip that Lily was quite miffed at him, but this hardly was news. It was easier to count the times she was not mad at him rather than the times they were on good terms. Due to Lily's silence, he still did not know whether she would accept his help to get ready for the event. His mother had not been pleased by this lack of a definite answer. She had informed him that she expected him to tutor her whether she wanted to or not. She had asked him to write to Lily to confirm the already set date. James had been procrastinating this task for the last few hours. He really should have kept his temper when talking with Lily. Nevertheless, he did not regret putting her in her place. He was done catering to her every whim. After all this had not gotten him anything in the past. Her sensitivity regarding her blood status annoyed James. He knew that life could be tough for her, but this did not mean that his own was perfect in every way. Biting his head off because other pure-bloods were prejudiced was just unfair. He was not going to apologize for telling her this. Still, he should really write this letter soon. His mother would go ballistic if he neglected to send it soon and the whole situation was messy enough without him riling up his mother in addition. Sighing, James got up and grabbed a parchment and a quill. He quickly penned a few lines to remind Lily that he was coming over as planned and that his mother insisted that she accepted his help. He folded the letter, stuffed it in an envelope and sealed it. Afterwards, he wrote Lily's address on the envelope. Now all he had to do was find Cesar, their family owl, and give him the letter. He was going to do this later. Cesar was a notoriously late riser and would probably still be asleep at this hour. As the bird was very grumpy when woken up, it usually was a good idea to have him send letters overnight. With this out of the way, he had one less thing to worry about.

A knock on the door startled him. He looked at the Firewhiskey for a moment and wondered whether he should vanish it. He was not allowed to use magic during the holidays, but the Ministry would probably let him get away with it as long as he was at home. He decided that it was not worth the trouble. His parents knew that he was drinking alcohol and why they were not overjoyed at it, they were not overly worried as well.

'Come in,' said James and his father entered the room. He took a quick look around the room. When he spotted the Firewhiskey he raised one of his grey eyebrows in surprise.

'Having a rough day, are you?' he asked James.

'You could say that,' said James, ruffling his hair which was so much like his fathers.

'Well, that makes two of us,' said Richard, striding over to where James lay on the bed. He sat down on the bed and conjured himself a glass with a flick of his wand. To James's surprise, his father poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey.

'Cheers,' he said, saluting James with the glass, before taking a sip. He savoured the Firewhiskey for a moment, before taking a look at the label. 'Where did you get that shoddy stuff? We have proper Firewhiskey in the bar.'

'Bought it in Hogsmeade during the term,' said James. 'It is the cheap and does the job. I did not want to raid our supplies.'

'How very considerate of you,' said his father with a slight smile. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?' asked James in return. He knew that his father rarely talked about his problems. He hoped to avoid a conversation by turning the question around.

His father chuckled.

'I had lunch with some old colleagues today,' he said. 'I am... concerned about what they have told me. The Ministry still does not take this Voldemort character seriously. There are planning to reduce the number of aurors working on the case. This is happening for a reason. The sway of the Muggle-haters in the Ministry must be bigger than I had anticipated.'

'What?' said James. 'They can't do that! A few aurors were killed just a few weeks ago with the dark mark floating over their bodies! They have to care about that! How on earth can they cut down the numbers of aurors during times like these?'

'Oh, a lot of people care about these aurors alright,' said Richard. 'I spoke with Alastor Moody just a few days ago. He is out for blood and he will not rest until he has found the culprits. Many other aurors feel the same, but certain elements high up in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement are hindering the investigation. I am not sure yet what their plan is. Maybe they are in league with Voldemort, maybe they don't believe that the aurors will find the culprits and want to sweep it all under the rug to prevent further bad publicity. Ah, if I was ten or twenty years younger things would be different. But there is little I can do now. I am too old and too far removed from the Ministry. Knowing that there is nothing you can do, does not make thing easier to bear, though.'

He took another sip of his whiskey, before looking at James again, who was shocked by this information.

'You know your mother would be horrified if she knew that I told you about what is going on,' he said. 'She is still trying to protect you. She thinks you are too young to worry about this.'

'And what do you think?' asked James. He did not like being kept in the dark, but he could understand his mother's reasoning.

'I think that knowledge is power,' said his father. 'And I think that you have to be ready. You are the only heir of a very old, very rich and quite powerful family. There is no way you can avoid getting sucked into this conflict. You are everything both sides want. Both the Ministry and Voldemort will try to recruit you at some point in time. I doubt that they will take a no as an answer.'

'But can't I just remain on the side lines?' asked James. 'Don't get me wrong: I hate the Death Eaters and what they are trying to accomplish. But I am only sixteen. I don't want to leave school and head straight into a civil war. All I ever wanted was to play Quidditch when I am done with school. I don't want to give up on this dream.'

'I understand completely,' said his father. 'I myself wanted to play Quidditch myself, when I was younger.'

'Really?' asked James, surprised at this information. He had always assumed that his father had always wanted to be an auror. After all, he had spent more than forty years in the department. 'I never knew. Why did you decide to become an auror instead?'

'Well, Quidditch was a lot less professional back in my days,' said his father. 'There was little money to be made and things were much simpler than today. I did not care about the money because even in my days our family was rich enough for me to do whatever I wanted. However, being a professional Quidditch player was not considered a suitable job for the heir of a pure blood family at the time. So, my father forbade me from going professional. After long consideration, I decided to heed his wishes and became an auror instead. I had toyed with this idea for a while anyway, so it was not that bad.'

'Do you ever regret the decision?' asked James. He would be furious if his father forbade him to do what he had always dreamed about.

'Sometimes,' said Richard. 'But looking back now it was the right decision. If I had insisted on becoming a Qudditch player a maybe permanent rift between my father and me would have been the result. I did not want to take this risk. At the time, my older brother Charley had only been dead for six months. My parents had not taken this death very well. I have told you about Charley before, haven't I?'

'Yeah, you did,' said James. 'He was an auror, was he not? I think he died fighting against Grindlewald.'

'Indeed,' said his father with a serious look on his face. 'Charley had always been fond of rules. He joined the auror program straight out of Hogwarts and rose up in the ranks quickly. He was five yours older than I was and we did not really get along. He was a bit of a stick in the mud to be honest. My parents loved him. He was everything a firstborn heir should be. When he had been an auror for a few years, he volunteered to fight against Grindelwald. He died about a month later, shortly before Grindelwald was defeated. I met Albus Dumbledore for the first time on my brother's funeral. Apparently, they had fought together and formed some kind of friendship. My father never forgave Dumbledore that he was unable to protect his eldest son.'

'How about you?' asked James. 'What do you think about Dumbledore?'

'I think that he has his own agenda,' said Richard. 'Dumbledore likes to present himself as the benevolent and caring person. I am not sure whether this is really who he his or only who he would like to be. It is hard to judge a person's character when they are in complete control of the situation and don't have to face any hardships. Dumbledore has been in his own comfort zone for close to thirty years now. I wonder what will happen if the war with Voldemort becomes worse and Dumbledore is forced to take a stand. We will see what kind of person he really is then.'

'What are you trying to say?' asked James. He had always thought that Dumbledore was one of the kindest persons he had ever met. He found it hard to image that the headmaster could be a bad person. 'That Dumbledore might be in league with Voldemort?'

'Oh no,' said his father. 'No, there is no doubt that Dumbledore opposes the Dark Arts as well as the ideas of blood purity. I only doubt that he is going to leave the fighting to the Ministry when things get worse. He may very well be using this crisis to catapult himself to a more privileged position in the wizarding world. Dumbledore is pulling a lot of strings in this world already and a moment of crisis may be all he needs to further extend his grasp.'

'This only makes sense if you assume that Dumbledore is interested in more power,' said James. 'But hasn't he refused a lot of positions which were offered to him, saying that he does not want to get involved in politics? So why should he care about politics now.'

'From my experience the most dangerous players are the ones stating that they don't care about the game,' said his father.

'I don't know,' said James. 'I find it hard to picture Dumbledore as a cold manipulator intent on climbing a few more steps in the pure-blood hierarchy. He seems so trusting and forgiving.'

'That's true,' said his father. 'Maybe I am wrong and Dumbledore is as good a person as he styles himself to be. It's just that he is part of an old pure-blood family and therefore probably behaves similar to most other pure-bloods in the same position. And most of these persons hunger for power and money.'

'Not everybody is like their family,' said James without thinking. 'Just look at Sirius.'

He flinched as soon as the words had left his mouth. Saying Sirius's name brought back memories of his betrayal. He had always believed that Sirius was different than the rest of his family, but maybe he had been wrong all along.

'Speaking of him,' said his father. 'I have spoken with my old friend Nathanael last week. He has agreed to sort out Sirius's trouble with his inheritance and was supposed to meet with Sirius yesterday. I think he will do a very good job.'

'How do you know about Sirius's troubles?' asked James. 'I have never told you about them nor asked you to assist Sirius.'

'News travel fast in the pure-blood community,' said his father. 'I figured that Sirius could do with some assistance, so I jumped into action. But now that you have brought it up: Why didn't you tell me about this? And why did you just flinch after saying Sirius's name?'

Well, there it was. His father was suspicious now and James would have to tell him something to get him off his back.

'Sirius and I had a little... disagreement,' said James delicately.

'What did he do?' asked his father. 'It must be something severe for you to react this way.'

'What makes you think that it was his fault and not mine?' asked James.

'Because you don't look guilty to me,' said Richard. 'And I have enough experience to tell. No, you look angry instead. So, spit it out.'

'Alright, alright,' said James. 'Sirius betrayed one of our most precious secrets. You know that Remus is a werewolf and transforms in a safe place in Hogwarts every full moon.'

'Yes, I know,' said his father. 'Let me guess: This secret place is not that secret anymore, is it?'

'No, it is not,' said James. 'Remus told us about it years ago, but most of the school does not know that he is a werewolf. Sirius wanted to get revenge on one of our enemies: Severus Snape. So he told him where Remus was going. He knew that our enemy was going to check it out and Sirius neglected to tell him that a full grown wild werewolf would be waiting for him when he got there. When I learned what was going on, I had to do something. So, I ran down to where Remus transformed and I managed to pull back Snape before Remus could hurt him. However, it was a close call. Dumbledore has been very forgiving and even awarded me some points for bravery. Afterwards, I had a huge fight with Sirius about his behaviour. He was not apologetic. He claims that Snape would have deserved getting eaten by Remus because he was going to be a Death Eater soon and that I lacked the guts to do what was necessary. Things got out of hand and now we are not talking to each other. I fear that this is the end of our friendship.'

'Oh dear,' said his father and got himself another glass of Firewhiskey. He took a long sip before looking sharply at James. 'Running into such a situation was incredibly foolish of you, James. You could have gotten maimed or killed. You really should have taken this to Dumbledore and let him sort it out. Still, it was very brave and your intentions were good. Please don't do something that reckless every again! And don't tell your mother about this, she is going to go ballistic if she hears it.'

'Alright,' said James, who had expected a more sternly worded lecture.

'The situation is quite messy,' said his father. 'I know that Sirius and you are mostly alike, but there are some very important differences between the two of you. Sirius is a Black and was raised by one of the darkest families in Britain. This means that he has a different perspective on life than you do. You know that there are a lot of ruthless pure-bloods and Sirius's parents have a reputation of being particularly nasty people. While Sirius is clearly different than the rest of his family, you cannot wash away eleven years of indoctrination with a few years at Hogwarts.'

'So, what are you saying?' said James. 'That Sirius is a bad person?'

'When under pressure people tend to return to the behaviour they know best,' said his father. 'Sirius was taught that manipulating and cruel behaviour is the best way to solve your problems. He did just that by using Remus's condition to get rid of a known enemy. Was he under a lot of stress on the day where he betrayed your secret?'

'Yes,' said James. 'His uncle had just died and Snape and his brother Regulus taunted him about this. Sirius tried to hex Snape at breakfast, but McGonagall intervened. Snape than boasted that he was untouchable. Sirius got this ugly look on his face and swore that Snape was going to regret crossing him. A few hours later, he told Snape and set this chain of events in process.'

'I see,' said Richard. 'Yeah, this fits. Sirius was furious and chose to take a page out of his parent's book. It is sad, but this is to be expected. I assume that this is not the first time that Sirius is rather... enthusiastic when he takes revenge for something?'

'No, it is not,' said James. He remembered all the overly cruel pranks Sirius had concocted up over the past. 'Usually, Remus and I talk him out of this stuff. So, where does this leave me? Should I just accept that this is who Sirius is? Or should I give him up?'

'Personally, I think Sirius is a good person at heart,' said his father. 'He just needs some guidance to counter his parent's dark influence. You have been this person in the past and I think you can be it in the future as well. Whether or not you want to be this person is up to you.'

'The thing is I don't know whether I still want to be this person,' said James. 'I thought I had a hold on Sirius, but he just ignored me this night and did what he thought was right. Why should I even try to keep him out of trouble if he just ignores me whenever he feels like it?'

'In the end each of us has to make our own decisions,' said his father. 'However, other persons can bring out the best or the worst in ourselves. I think you should strive to bring out the best in Sirius. The result will not be perfect, because Sirius is flawed like every other person, but I think it will be much better than the worst version of Sirius.'

James pondered this for a moment.

'Yeah, I guess you are right,' he said. 'I will have to think about this.'

'You do that,' said his father. 'In the meantime, I will make sure that Sirius can keep his inheritance. I am sure that everything will be alright. '

'Do you think Remus will ever forgive Sirius?' asked James anxiously. 'Even if I mend things with Sirius, we will still be divided if Remus does not forgive Sirius as well.'

'Only time will tell,' said his father. 'I think Remus values friendship very much, so he will probably at least try to forgive Sirius.'

'Right,' said James, feeling better about his life than he had for a long time.

Silence feel between the two of them as each of them was lost in thoughts. James slowly sipped the rest of the whiskey in his glass. He still craved a cigarette, but he ignored the feeling as he was determined to quit. Thinking about quitting made him think about Amber. He wondered what she was doing now. Was she with her fiancé? Were they getting along or was it an awkward situation? She was only a year older than he was and he could not imagine getting married straight out of school. He knew that this had been common in the past, but it seemed anachronistic in this day and age. The fact that Amber's marriage was an arranged one made things even more anachronistic. James wondered what kind of marriage his parents would have arranged for him if he had asked them to do it. There was only a small pool of suitable matches for the heir of one of the most prominent pure-blood families. Only other high ranking pure-bloods would be eligible and they should be rich as well. People like the Weasley who had pure-blood but were poor would only be considered if there were no alternatives. Sadly, most prominent and rich pure-bloods were strong supports of blood purity and tended to be rather nasty people. James shuddered at the thought of being married to a Black. Sirius had several slightly older cousins who could be possible matches. According to Sirius, all but one of them were evil and the good one had been alienated by the family. No, he was rather glad that he could pick his partner on his own terms, even though he seemed to be terrible at it.

'Is there anything else I can help you with?' asked his father, noticing his contemplative mood.

'No,' said James quickly. He really did not want to discuss his relationship with Amber with his father who would probably be scandalized that James had sex with an engaged woman.

'Alright,' he said. 'You know your mother has talked about this Evans girl again. I kept asking myself why the name Lily Evans was so familiar. You had a crush on her didn't you?'

'Indeed,' said James, silently cursing Sirius for revealing that piece of information to his parents. 'Which is way I have told mum that I would prefer not to teach her how to behave, but she is having none of it.'

'Ah, well, your mother has always been headstrong,' said his father. 'At least Lily will be grateful for your help. Maybe something will grow out of it.'

James snorted.

'Grateful, my arse,' said James. 'She jumped down my throat when I suggested it back at school. So now I am caught between a rock and a hard place. If I don't teach her, mum will be angry. If I do teach her, Evans is going to make my life miserable.'

'Well, I suggest that you teach Lily anyway,' said his father. 'You are going to see your mother a lot more during the holidays than Lily and you know how she gets when she is really ticked off. At least Lily has enough time to cool down over the holidays.'

'Yeah, I guess you are right,' said James. 'Still, it feels so bloody unfair. I am one of the good guys and she treats me like one of these Death Eaters in training.'

'Sadly, well-meant deeds are not always recognized,' said his father. 'As long as you are sure you are doing the right thing you should not care too much about what she is thinking.'

'Easier said than done,' said James.

'Nobody said life was going to be easy,' said his father. 'I know that being a teenager can be rough. I used to be one myself even though it seems like a lifetime away by now. From my experience though things are rarely as serious or grim as they appear when you are this young. Well, I got to get going now. Be a good boy and don't drink yourself to a stupor. Your mother will have my head if she learns that I did not take the whiskey away from you when I discovered it.'

James watched his father go and wished that he was right. Maybe in a few years from now he was going to love about how ridiculous his problems had been. Somehow he doubted it.