A/N: Here is chapter seven! It's the longest chapter so far ^.^ Thank you to all you who have reviewed! You guys make my day(:
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS
Chapter Seven
Monday September 17th, 2012
With sullen eyes Ziva peered into the moonless sky. Clouds covered her only illumination on such a lightless night. She glanced up again and stared off into the abyss of darkness. She attempted to find comfort in the confines of nature. For once, the outdoors no longer provided a safe haven. This place no longer felt like home. The eerie silence made her inner thoughts deafening.
Voices within her own mind raged in anger. Thoughts of hatred to past memories surfaced and faded within her head. Hate began boil within her blood, as different topics of rancor crept their way into the chaos that was currently her mind. As time ticked on, the voice of Eli David tormented her thoughts. Her father's way of life had taken a great toll on the seventeen year old girl. He had begun to mold an emotionless perfect warrior. Though right now, she was not emotionless. Right now all Ziva could feel was hate. Hate for her father and all the wrongdoings he had done to her.
A hatred for Hamas burned anew in her heart. Her sister's killer had left this life too easily. He should've suffered. The man should not be regarded with admiration as a martyr. No, he should be remembered as who he truly was, a person who took the lives of innocent people. A murderer.
Finally, a hatred for herself seemed as if it would consume her own soul. A voice in her mind chanted you are weak. You are a coward. You are worthless. The words steadily played in repeat through her mind, while emotions began to collided. She was thrust into reality by the sounds of heavy footsteps approaching her hide out. For now, all she wished was to be alone. At this time, the young Israeli felt naked and vulnerable. She was in no state, nor wished for the presence of another in her midst. As she sensed the presence of another human drawing near, she unsheathed a dagger from her ankle, and angrily released it from her skillful hand. The dagger plunged into the bark of a tree, directly next to her unwelcomed visitor. In the pitch darkness she barked,
"Announce yourself."
An audible sight was followed by a string of honeyed words in a scottish accent,
"Ziva? Is that you?"
Her voice cracked as she responded,
"Ducky?"
"Dear heavens Ziva, you almost gave me a heart attack!"
With slow cautious movements, the Scotsman took a seat on what he believed to be a tree stump. Upon the old gnarled roots, he allowed his tired feet to rest and said in a gentle voice,
"Tell me dear, what troubles you?"
Far too quickly, the Israeli retorted,
"I am fine."
With a breathless chuckle, he replied,
"I may not be Jethro, but I still am able to determine whether you are telling the truth or not."
In a grandfatherly way, he patted the unoccupied half of his tree stump. Obediently, she sat on the edge as a defeated sigh escaped her chapped lips. The older man did not speak, simply allowed her to begin whenever she pleased, but gently placed a kind hand on her meatless shoulder. Ziva closed her eyes before she began. Her voice had never seemed puny. The seventeen year old girl at that moment looked no older than twelve.
"She died."
For a moment, she sat in silence, allowing the defeat in her voice to echo through the forest. Her eyes fluttered shut, memories of the past replaying in her mind, a past that could never be recreated. She repeated,
"She died."
She whispered,
"Tali."
It was in that moment that Ziva crumbled. The walls her father had so carefully built up, came crashing down. They worked for so long as a barrier to keep others out, but now all she could do was try to survive while everything poured in. Her body leaned into the doctor's, her head resting on his shoulder. She allowed for the tears to flow. She sobbed, her chest heaving once again. She heard the cruel, daunting voice of her father ring through her mind, Davids do not cry. She hiccuped as she wailed,
"I was never good enough for him Ducky."
Absent mindedly, Ziva shook her head and continued,
"I could never be emotionless as Ari could, I never had the compassion that Tali displayed. I could never make him smile. I could never make him proud."
She continued, her voice lowered this time to a whisper,
"I deserved everything. Every blow, every word, everything."
Subconsciously, Ziva's hands gingerly traveled up to her neck, fingering the tips of scars that held so many haunting memories. She traced the path the whip crashed down upon her fragile frame. Her right hand traveled her side, feeling the small dips and bumps that riddled it. Her other hand did the same, and followed the spider web of scars that traveled down her torso. After both hands had completed their course, they rested, clasped together in her lap. Her eyes sunk and peered down at them.
Gently, Ducky placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The sudden contact made the Israeli's head dart upwards, and she gazed into the older man's kind eyes. Tenderly, he began,
"Why don't we go take a better look at those lacerations? Shall we?"
Wordlessly, Ziva stood and with an almost robotic nature, and she took the dagger out of the bark of the tall tree. Numbly she threw a wayward glance back in the good doctor's direction before she said pleadingly,
"Please do not contact Jenny or Gibbs. I do not want them to see me like...this."
Even in the cloak of darkness, Ziva could make out the outline of the Ducky's face as he nodded.
The silver haired fox and the raven haired beauty stood side by side. Both gazed up at the never ending sight in front of them: the woods. Gibbs began,
"Jen, where do you think she'd be?"
"If it were me, I'd be at a club Jethro, but I'm not a trained assassin who arrived in America two days ago. Where would you be?"
"Home."
With that, the duo turned towards the woods, and faded into the unilluminated darkness.
A mess of dark wild curls spilled down the side of the Israeli's face. All she could feel was the steady thump thump thump of her looming headache. Ziva's eyes were once again empty, and it was obvious that she was no longer in the present. She had extracted herself from her current life, and tried to live, for a short while, in the past. It seemed to be her preferred way of grieving. Her hands subconsciously tugged at the blanket that rested upon her shoulders toward her as she leaned carelessly into the settee cushions.
The Scotsman entered the room, two cups of tea in hand, and briefly smiled in relief at seeing that the young one was still there. He did not wish to chase after her in the forest once again, though he would have done so if needed. His charming accent filled the room as he inquired,
"Care for a cup of tea?"
Ziva's eyes blinked slowly as she was jerked back into the physical world. It was then the grief struck her at full force once again, though she would not allow herself to cry. Instead, she silently took the steaming cup from his hands, and raised it to her lips. The scalding liquid seemed soothed the pain of her shattered heart.
Time rhythmically ticked on, and a comfortable silence settled until, Ducky questioned,
"Excuse my prying, but who was that gentleman?"
For a moment, Ziva did not answer. She only stared into his eyes, as if attempting to communicate with him wordlessly. Though, this seemed to bear no fruit so she whispered,
"Ari. My half-brother"
His named rolled of her lips with tender affection. Her fondness of the man was evident in her voice. His name brought joyful memories to her mind, and for a moment, a content smile could be seen upon her face. Though, the expression vanished as quickly as it appeared. Ducky prodded,
"When will you be departing in order to attend the funeral?"
A look of defeat crossed Ziva's face as she answered,
"I will not be."
"Oh Ziva..."
The older gentleman slowly rose from his seat and walked towards her. Soothing words soon flowed from his his lips, but Ziva did not seem to care for them. So, she tersely cut him off and asked tiredly,
"Please, can you just, take a look at my wounds now."
Ducky nodded and continued,
"Right this way Ziva."
The two walked together through the hallway before Ducky began to try to put Ziva back together again. Hopefully, he would do a better job than all the kings men.
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