Entry 121
"What are you so flustered about, Diamau?"
Here I am, in the middle of the Akatsuki meeting, feeling more uncomfortable by the second.
Tobi had apparently got SOMETHING in his head, and is now off trying to prove that Sasori is 'banging' Deidara.
Hashirama's clueless, as usual, not knowing he's in the middle of a meeting of a group dedicated in bringing Konoha's demise.
Deidara, with bad luck, usually had clay stuffed under his shirt so that he could immediately draw upon an emergency. But in the heat, well, the clay reacted, making Deidara's stomach look bigger.
That was all the proof Tobi needs.
"I... Tobi got the Birds and the Bees talk yesterday... Please don't kill me!"
"Well," said Pein while raising an eyebrow, "That probably explains it. Did you use Deidara and Sasori as an example?" he asked in mild amusement as we all watched Tobi poke Deidara's stomach.
"DeidR-senpai's got a baby! Tobi wonders where his jiggly thing it so he could feed it... Oh no, the baby's not going be healthy! I don't know know why Sasori chose someone without jiggly things to have his baby..."
There was a tic mark on Deidara's head, "TOBI!"
"Not a baby?" Tobi asked innocently, "Is it a banana tree then?"
"What? No!"
"Tobi understands, but Deidara-senpai can't hide his growing tummy.. But Deidara-senpai is in denial, maybe because he didn't know he was a girl when Sasori-san banged her..."
"The hell, un!" Deidara finally shouted, "Sasori-no-Danna is not the seme!"
"Ah, you totally admitted it." I laughed, "And by calling him 'Danna', you're falling him your husband!"
The duo fumed as the rest of the Akatsuki just stood there, watching.
"We," Sasori said icily, "are most certainly NOT having intercourse with each oher."
"What's an intercourse?" Tobi asked curiously.
Sasori froze, then glared at me, "Somebody didn't explain everything..."
Entry 122
Things returned to normal after Sasori hitting Tobi's head, making him lose that memory.
So right now, I'm being roped into a scheme that I didn't want to partisipate in.
Pein, Itachi, and I huddled over the roof of the Amegakure tower.
It was so high up there, I could barely see the ground.
Pein's trying to peep on Konan, and was dragged Itachi and I along.
"Three doujutsus are better than one," he had said.
So now we're standing upside-down and sticking to this incredibly high place with only strands of chakra keeping us from a very nasty fall.
Oh, and speaking of which, Itachi's scared of heights.
Ah dear.
So he fell, and I reached out to grab his foot. Then the sudden jolt sent us BOTH hurtling down the sky.
Pein was still too busy looking at Konan to notice.
Finally, when we almost reached the ground, I remembereed Chio, who was still in my pocket. She was not nearly enough to carry anyone, but I can't just let her get squished.
So Chio fluttered away to find the others, and I am now wondering how I manage to keep writing my diary in the air-
Crash.
Entry 123
Ow... Gonna kill Pein.
Entry 124
I think my leg's broken, which was surprisingly the only thing wrong other than the scrapes and bruises.
Itachi wasn't so fortunate.
He hit his head, but because of our ninja endurance (which was probably why we're not dead right now) could only do so much. So he's lost his memory.
By the way, Hashirama brought us flowers, and they were red.
What was WRONG with him? Is he hittng on me?!
Creepy...
Ding dong.
Who is it THIS time?
Ah, yes, I didn't explain the last 'ding-dong'. Well, that just turned out to be the brats doing a ding-dong-dash. You know, those brats from the other world that we thought we had shaken off?
Well, back to the subject. Made Hashirama get the visitor.
"YOU!" looks like it's somebody from Konoha...
Entry 125
Uchiha Sasuke, why am I not surprised?
He looked shellshocked as he followed Hashirama into the living room, probably because the man was humming that Barney song.
"I came here to kill Itachi." He said.
"Well you will just have to wait, diary-thief." I huffed. "He's not in his right mind at the moment."
Sasuke blinked, "What?"
"Itachi recently hit his head, and now he only remembers BEFORE the Uchiha Massacre." I explained.
He gaped. "WHAAAT!"
"Speaking of which, why are you here, I thought you were sleeping at Orochimaru's place."
"Don't say it like that. He refused to teach me anything useful, and wants me to use a sword that came out of his mouth!"
I winced, "...ew."
"Exactly."
So we were at a mutal agreement: hide Sasuke from Orochimaru, and he won't try to kill Itachi until he regained his memories.
"It'd be pointless if Itachi didn't even know who you are." I said pointedly.
"Why do things happen every time I try to kill Itachi?" Sasuke groaned.
Entry 126
Hashirama thought Sasuke was Izuna, and hugged him, then gave him the Obito-treatment.
Luckily, Sasuke had already had a trauma in his life, so it helped him withstand this one.
But he was still pretty shaken up.
Meanwhile, Itachi was still trying to find Konoha, he didn't realize he was indoors, so he kept wandering the hallways.
I hope that he and Sasuke wouldn't bump into each other. Deal or not, Sasuke still hates Itachi.
Entry 127
Chio woke all of us up again.
She then proceed to sit in Sasuke's hair, making a nest in it. I could see Hashirama eyeing my 'brother' enviously...
Speaking of Izuna, I wish he's still alive...
Wait.
If HASHIRAMA SENJU's alive, then why can't an Uchiha be?
I'll ask Sasori to ask Kabuto to find out the secret to Edo Tensei, then I can have Izuna back!
But problem is, Izuna don't have monkuton to resurrect himself the way Hashirama did, so the only other way I could think of is to...
No. No way. Nonononono you can't make me-!
But Boss~ Tobi and I are lonely in hre!
But- don't you two have each other?
We are practically the same people, Boss! So there's gotta be somebody new in here that DOESN'T act like us or whoever you designed us to be!
...that makes a bit of sense, but the answer is still no.
What do you want more, Izuna, or Hashirama? If you don't call Izuna here, then Hashirama may remain here FOREVER!
I shuddered.
Fine.