Thick snow was falling when James stepped out of the Hogwarts express in the beginning of January. New Year's Eve had come and gone and it was time to start the second part of his sixth year at Hogwarts. James had mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, things had become rather boring at home and he could do with some more action. On the other hand, it was far easier to avoid certain problems at home. He was not closer to figure out how to deal with Sirius than he had been before Christmas. However, his anger and hurt had decreased over time. Maybe the wounds Sirius's betrayal had caused were slowly starting to heal. He wondered how Remus had fared on his own over the holidays. James suspected that his friend had been miserable. While Remus pretended to be just fine on his own, James knew that this was not the case. His werewolf friend needed some company to prevent him from slipping into depression. Frankly, James was worried about him. The whole mess with Sirius had hit Remus the hardest and he was the most ill-equipped of them to deal with this situation. James made a mental note to pay extra attention to Remus in the future. Sirius had caused them enough misery already.

The train ride had been uneventful. He had only caught a brief glance at Sirius back on platform nine and three quarters. His former best mate had not been present in their usual compartment. James wondered where he had spent the ride instead. Knowing Sirius, he probably had picked up some girl and spent the time snogging her. In any case, his absence in the Marauder compartment had saddened James. It had reminded him of everything they had lost. He liked Peter well enough and usually he was having a good time when he was with him, but he was no suitable replacement for Sirius. Things had gotten rather dull, rather fast and so James had paid a visit to Marlene and the other girls. Fortunately, things with Lily were less strained than they had been in the past. To James's immense surprise, she actually seemed grateful for his help with the potion contest finals. She had actually thanked him when he had dropped her off back at her parents and her intense hatred for him seemed to have vanished over the break. James wondered how on earth that had happened. After all, they had spent much of their time together jumping down each other's throats. He would never understand how Lily Evans's mind worked. Maybe he would ask Marlene about it if he got the chance, even though she was going to tease him for his interest in the enigmatic redhead. Still, he was not complaining. Lily and he even were on first name basis by now and he rather enjoyed not arguing with her all the time.

Riding with the girls had been surprisingly pleasant, even though it was much less exciting than he his usual rides with the Marauders. He had learned that Lily was still dating Luke Palmer, which had caused him a brief but sharp sting of jealousy and that things were rather strained between Marlene and Charlie. He could have done without the last information, as he was determined to know as little as possible about Marlene's love life. He just hoped that they were going to be alright. Despite their agreement to not get involved with each other's romantic interests, Marlene had no qualms to seek him out after a breakup and pour her heart out to him. If it had been a messy one, this usually ended with her crying into his shirt. James hated crying girls and therefore was not looking forward to another of these encounters. Fortunately, nobody had bothered him about Amber. He had wondered whether Lily was going to say something, because she had seen Amber together with her fiancé at the ceremony. Granted, James did not know whether she actually knew that Amber and Peter were engaged, but it had been rather easy to see that the two of them were not just friends. If she had connected the dots, she now knew that James was sort of dating an engaged woman. That was not public knowledge and James had no intention of spreading it around. Marlene would have a field day if she knew about this and he had a feeling that Lily would not approve of his behaviour either.

Peter nudged him to alert him that the carriages had arrived and brought James back to the present. They climbed into a carriage together with two Hufflepuff girls who seemed rather awed too share a ride with two of the Marauders and travelled to the castle. James felt rather subdued and the thick snow seemed to match his mood. Peter quickly picked up on his mood and made conversation with the two girls on his own while leaving James to himself. Normally, James had always looked forward to returning to Hogwarts, but this time he only felt some vague dread at the sight of the castle. This was getting ridiculous! He was going to have to do something! He still had to spend one and a half year at school and he would have an unpleasant time indeed if he did not take care of his issues! There was little he could do about Slytherin gits like Snape, but at least Sirius had to be dealt with. He still was unsure what to do, but he was determined to figure it out soon. Maybe a chat with Remus would be the way to go. After all, James could hardly decide to either condemn or forgive Sirius on his own. Peter could be influenced in either way, but Remus needed to be convinced for this to work. Yes, that was an idea. He was going to have a chat with Remus after dinner and see if they could figure things out.

After arriving at the castle, the students headed straight to dinner. Remus was nowhere to be seen and James worried about that. Remus tended to skip meals whenever he felt particularly troubled or if the full moon was approaching. However, the latter was out of question as it still was two weeks away. James ate quickly and told Peter that he was going to look for their friend. Peter just nodded and went back to demolishing his treacle tart. As James left the hall, he accidently caught Sirius's eye. His former best mate was sitting at the very edge of the Gryffindor table together with a pretty girl whose name James did not know. James thought he could read worry in Sirius's eyes, though he was not sure whether he and his former friend were worried about the same thing. He broke the eye contact and made his way up to Gryffindor tower. The common room was deserted and their dormitory was empty as well. James furrowed his brows. Maybe Remus was in the library, doing some last minute homework. However, knowing his studious nature that was unlikely. He probably had done as his homework in the first week of the holidays. James looked around, trying to spot the Marauder's Map. He had left it in Remus's care together with his invisibility cloak, as he had little use for both items at home. After rummaging around for a bit, he found both items lying on his bed. He unlocked the map and looked around for the little dot labelled 'Remus Lupin'. To his surprise, Remus was at the top of the Astronomy Tower. What on earth was he doing there? It was freezing outside and through the thick snow very little stars would be visible. Besides they had no assignments for astronomy and Remus had never been overly fond of the subject in the first place. Maybe he was on a date and waiting for the girl to show up, but James considered that unlikely. Remus was popular enough with the witches, but he was too reluctant to let anyone get close for any true relationship to blossom. James decided that he would check up on his friend. If Remus was no longer alone by the time he had reached the tower, he was just going to head back without disturbing him. James grabbed the map and started his trip to the tower.

Ten minutes later, he had climbed the top of the tower and looked around for Remus. He found him standing at the very edge of the tower gazing into the night. He was only wearing his normal school robes, but James could see by the way the air was shimmering around him that his friend had a heating charm in place. Good, otherwise he would catch a cold for sure. James himself had shrunk his thick cloak and had stuffed it in the pocket of his robes. He took it out, returned it to his normal size and put it on. Only then did Remus notice him.

'James, you are back', he said, his voice oddly silent. James noticed that Remus's eyes were glassy and slightly reddend. Then he spotted a bottle of Firewhiskey resting on the ground next to his friend. That was odd. Remus never drank on his own and usually limited himself even in the presence of the other Marauders. Apparently, things were different today, as the bottle was almost half empty. Something was clearly wrong. They had school tomorrow and Remus was way too studious to risk missing class just to drink himself into a stupor.

'Remus, are you alright?' James asked delicately.

'I am now,' said Remus, slurring slightly. He walked to James and wrapped him into a tight hug. James was flabbergasted for a moment before he hugged Remus back. Still, his worry increased. Remus wasn't usually that affectionate, something must have happened to put him in this strange mood.

'Moony,' said James softly. 'Moony, what's wrong?'

'Everything,' replied Remus in a broken voice. Normally, James would have rolled his eyes at this melodramatic statement, but Remus was behaving too strangely for him to just dismiss it. 'I am so glad that you are back, James. We have to do something, we have to fix it!'

'Remus, you are not making sense,' said James simply. He untangled himself from his friend and looked Remus in the eye. He looked miserable. 'Dear merlin, what has happened to you?'

'I can't stand it anymore,' said Remus quietly. 'With all three of you gone, I had time to think about everything. Too much time. It felt like before I came to Hogwarts. I... I was all alone.'

'Oh, Remus,' said James. Slowly things started to make a bit more sense. His friend had been miserable before coming to Hogwarts. The other Marauders were the first friends he had ever had who accepted him even though he was a werewolf. 'You know you could have come with me if had wanted too. You are not alone. You have me, Peter and...'

Sirius's name turned to ash in his mouth and he could not bring himself to say it. It was so easy to forget that things had changed between them.

'Exactly...,' said Remus with a sad smile. 'We are not who we used to be James. And I think we have to look things in the eye and admit it: It is not the same without Sirius.'

'No, it is not,' admitted James. It would be foolish to argue the opposite after all. 'What is going on with you Remus? You know what Sirius did. I admit things are worse than they used to be, but we will be fine on our own. We just need some time to adapt.'

'Do you really believe that, James?' asked Remus, sadly. 'I think we had our time to adept and we failed. When you told me what Sirius did, I was horrified. I had no idea how to deal with it and I still don't. I thought I would be fine, but I was wrong. Our group does not work without him. You try your best, but I can tell that you are miserable. I miss him as well, even though I hate what he almost did to me. I fear that we are slowly going to fall apart, James. We are still kind of holding it together, but give us another six months and maybe we will not be the three Marauders anymore, but just roommates. And in a year, maybe be will only be acquaintances. I cannot bear that thought, James!'

'Remus that is not going to happen, I promise,' said James. 'Even if things get more distant between us, which I consider unlikely, I will always be there for you. You don't have to bear that burden on your own.'

'Will you, James?' asked Remus, his eyes very bright. 'Even though I am the reason you are no longer friends with Sirius?'

'What are you talking about?' said James, suddenly feeling very cold.

'The only reason Sirius could use me to punish Snape, is because I am a werewolf,' said Remus. 'I have always known that you guys would be better off without me and Sirius gave me proof. You have always done too much for me; just look at all the risks you took because of me! Becoming animagi is incredibly dangerous as well as spending time with a werewolf and you did both just to make me feel better. You are gambling with you lives because of me and this has to stop! I have always known that we would pay the price for our arrogance one day and I think Sirius's betrayal might just be that.'

'That's rubbish and you know it!' said James sharply. That conversation was rather familiar. Remus had argued until he had been blue in the face against them becoming animagi and then again against them joining him. The theme had always been the same: He was not worthy of their help if it was that risky. Frankly, James was rather fed-up with his friend's martyr complex. He should have known that Remus would use the trouble with Sirius to dredge that old problem up again.

'It was our decision to become animagi and to join you, because we wanted to help you, Remus. It was risky, of course, but it was our risk to take, not yours. You are right that without you we probably would not have become animagi, simply because we would lack a reason for investing all that effort. However, I am glad that your lycanthropy forced us to go through with it, because it is the best thing I have ever done in my life. We should be grateful to you Remus, not the other way round.'

Remus looked stunned for a moment. Then, he sniffed.

'Do... do you really mean that, James?' he asked, and James was horrified to see tears sparkling in his friend's eyes.

'Of course, I do,' he said. He was not going to back down now. He needed to stand his ground and to make Remus see straight again. Mixing his self-confidence issues with Sirius's betrayal would get them nowhere at all.

'You are not a burden to us, Remus, even if you like to think so. You are our friend and helping you is just what we do.'

'Thank you,' said Remus and his tears really started to spill by now. 'Oh dear, I am such a mess. I should not have drunk that much. I am sorry for being so emotional James. I must look like a silly girl.'

'It alright mate,' said James, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'You have always been lousy at holding your drink. Though I have never seen you drink on your own before.'

'I had a rough few days,' said Remus, wiping the tears from his cheeks. James rose an eyebrow at that, but he doubted that Remus would want to talk about that anytime soon. 'I thought having a drink or two would make me feel better, but I was wrong. I should have smoked a spliff or two instead.'

'You should know better. Getting drunk or high when you are feeling blue is not enjoyable,' chided James softly.

'I find it ironic that you of all people are lecturing me on that,' remarked Remus. He was slowly getting a grip on himself. His voice sounded steadier than it had mere moments ago. 'How often have you drunk yourself to a stupor because of Lily?'

'Often enough to know that it is a horrible idea,' said James with a smile. 'Have you eaten anything? You were not at dinner.'

'No, I haven't,' said Remus. 'I did not feel like facing everybody. I will hop down into the kitchens later.'

'We could go now,' said James. 'That way you would not have to eat on your own.'

'Stop mothering me, James,' said Remus with a wry smile. 'I am perfectly fine eating on my own.'

'Alright, alright,' said James. 'I will ask the house elves tomorrow whether you showed up.'

'You do that,' said Remus, rolling his eyes.

For a moment, silence fell around them. Remus looked out on the dark grounds with a contemplative look on his face. James own mind was racing. He had underestimated the seriousness of the situation. He had known of course that Remus had been hurt by Sirius's behaviour, but he had not thought it went that far. When he had first told Remus about what had happened his friend had seemed... well he had not seemed fine, but things had not looked as bad as they did now. Remus had been livid and hurt, but he had not doubted his friends' support then nor had he blamed himself. It was a worrying development and James wondered what he could do about it. He was feeling out of his depth here. Fixing other person's feelings was not his forte. Sirius was no help. So far, he had not apologized to either James or Remus for his deeds and James doubted that he ever would. Sirius was pure-blood to the core and pure-bloods rarely apologized to anyone. James was guilty of the same crime: He could count the times in his life where he had apologized on one hand. He had always considered that a sign of his strong personality, but now he doubted that it really was a virtue. It certainly would make it easier to fix things.

'I am going to talk to Sirius,' said Remus, interrupting James's train of thought. 'Maybe that is the way to fix this mess.'

'What?' said James surprised. 'What would you ever talk to him about? You two have not spoken a single word since that night.'

'Yes, and a fat lot of good it did,' said Remus. 'I am going to see if we can work things out. You know that Sirius is not going to make the first step. He is a stubborn git after all. Maybe if I can build a bridge for him, we can put this mess behind us.'

'You... you would forgive him?' asked James, who could not believe his ears.

'Yes, I would,' said Remus. James gave his friend another thorough look. At first he thought that this was the alcohol talking, but Remus looked sharper and more determined than he had at any time during their encounter. James could see a steely look in his friend's eye which he had rarely seen before. Usually, Remus looked like that, when he tried to stop some over the top prank.

'But why?' asked James. 'You are the one has wronged the most. Why would you even consider making up with him?'

'Because keeping the conflict alive is only hurting all of us,' said Remus. 'Of course I am still furious with Sirius, but I am going to offer him the chance to explain his actions and see if we can reach an agreement. As you have pointed out, I am the one most affected by his betrayal, so I have to be the first to forgive him.'

'I can't imagine anything he might say to you that will make things right again,' said James.

'You should not underestimate the power of a heartfelt apology,' said Remus, sounding strangely like Dumbledore at that moment. 'Besides, I believe in second chances.'

'I am not sure I do,' grumbled James.

'Dumbledore does, so there must be something right about them', said Remus.

'You are a bigger man than I am,' said James. 'I have not talked with Sirius about his reasons for betraying us since that night and I have no desire to do it in the future.'

'You are very stubborn, James,' said Remus. 'That leaves you at quite a disadvantage when forgiving people.'

'Maybe,' said James. 'Still, I have a feeling that there is more to your motivation to talk to Sirius than you are letting on. If I recall correctly, you are quite good at holding a grudge as well. I remember you not speaking to Peter for a month when he ate his way through your chocolate stash. Why are you so forgiving all of a sudden?'

'Consider it payback,' said Remus. 'You have done so much for me in the last few years that it is about time that I do something for you. I know that you want Sirius back, but you are way too stubborn to make it happen on your own. So, I will see if I can pave the way, so we all can be happy again.'

'I can't let you do this, Remus,' said James, his own voice thick all of a sudden. 'I can't let you just forgive such an injustice just because it would make me happy.'

'You can and you will,' said Remus firmly. 'You know me James, when have you ever succeeded in talking me out of something once I have made up my mind? I have not forgiven anything yet. I have merely decided to talk to Sirius. Maybe I will forgive him afterwards, maybe not.'

'I will come with you,' said James. He knew that he would never convince Remus not to go and he was really glad that he did not have to. Hope blossomed in his heart. Maybe things were going to get back to normal very soon.

'No, you won't,' said Remus gently. 'You and Sirius are both too stubborn to have a proper conversation about this. I will do this on my own. You are free to talk to Sirius afterwards, though.'

James opened his mouth to protest, but then he remembered the conversation Sirius and he had had on the night of his best mate's betrayal. Maybe Remus did have a point. Maybe it was a good idea to let him handle this. James closed his mouth again and looked at the falling snow for a moment trying to gather his thoughts.

When he was done, he closed the distance between himself and Remus and pulled his friend in a tight hug. Remus was obviously surprise but did not resist him.

'Thank you,' said James. 'I cannot tell you how much this means to me.'

To his horror, James realized that he was close to tears himself. He had never been so grateful in his life. If this was the first part of the Marauder's rebirth, he would never forget it.

'It is the least I could do,' said Remus. His voice sounded thick, too. James could not believe how emotional they were all of sudden. They acted like a bunch of girls. Still, it was nice to be able to open up like this once in a while.

After a few minutes, James and Remus broke apart. James suddenly realized how cold he was. In contrast to Remus, he was only protected by his coat rather than by a heating charm.

'We should go,' he said to Remus. 'I am freezing.'

Remus just nodded and took out his wand. He shrank the bottle of firewhiskey and stuffed it into his pocket. Then the two of them walked back into the castle down the staircase leading to the astronomy tower in silence.

'Here we are,' said Remus after they had reached the bottom of the staircase. 'Well, I am going to head to the kitchens. I had to promise my nutter of a best friend that I will get something proper to eat. I will be back in the dorm, soon.'

'Take your time,' said James with a smile on his face. 'And don't skip the main course and hop straight to the dessert. I know all about your sweet tooth.'

Remus just rolled his eyes and walked away. James walked slowly back to Gryffindor tower, feeling better than he had in a long time.