Chapter 89
The last of Staefyn's family to speak about him was his mother, and her recollections of him as a child brought tears to the eyes of nearly all who were gathered to honor his memory. Taeron had listened to them all speak, watched them cry, and yet he felt disconnected when the Staefyn they remembered was far different from the Staefyn that he had known, and if he felt the desire to cry, it was because he and Staefyn had robbed them of the honor and privilege of truly knowing him. Since the day Staefyn had come into his powers, they had ceased to know who he really was because he had hidden it from them all.
When Arora finished speaking, she turned her amber gaze on him. "Will you speak, Taeron?"
"What can I say that you all have not already said?" Taeron wanted to be away from this service, to be alone with his feelings.
"You can tell us what Staefyn was really like," said the emperor gruffly, his throat still tight with the tears he had shed for the son he had watched choose death over his family.
Dijana slipped her hand in his and squeezed it as she gave him an encouraging smile, but he remained silent.
"Taeron," began his father, but he cut him off before Lord Duo could try to cajole him into sharing with them what was between him and Staefyn.
"You know the Staefyn that he wanted you to know. What do you want me to say? You have all torn the memories from my mind, so there is nothing left that you do not know. I give you leave to discuss the private moments of our lives."
Shaking off Dijana's hand, he turned on his heel and left the garden where Staefyn had spent so much time, where the ancestors spoke to him and to the other Guerani. Where the ancestors whispered to Taeron as well.
He had passed through the door to the chamber before his mother caught up to him and put her arms around him from the back. "Do not go, Taeron. I will not pretend to know how you feel, but I do know that they can comfort you."
Turning, he drew his mother close and as he held her, he rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Mother, you can comfort me more than any of the others."
She raised her head to smile at him. "That is not true anymore, Taeron. You have Dijana to comfort you now."
Looking past her, he saw Dijana standing in the doorway leading from the chamber to the garden. She was so beautiful standing in the fading light from the second sun, and yet it hurt to look at her because she made him so happy and he regretted that Staefyn had not experienced such love. Setting his mother aside after kissing the top of her head, he went to take Dijana's hand to lead her back into the garden.
No one spoke, but he heard encouraging whispers and so he spoke, telling them of the Staefyn he had known, of their favorite hiding places, of the mischief they had gotten into with impunity because Staefyn used his powers to keep anyone from catching them. He spoke of how proud Staefyn knew they would be to learn of his powers. He was going to tell them after Taeron became Amyr's imperial guard because he knew they would be separated and he wanted them to spend as much time together as possible before he left to train with Apolo as Taeron took on his duties.
Taeron did not want to make them cry again, and yet the tears rolled down his own cheeks as he spoke, and when he finished, he received grateful hugs from Arora and Trey as well as from Staefyn's other siblings including Staefyn's younger sisters and brother who had arrived from Bayman that morning with King Dagan who had come to collect his wife and share in the memorial.
They shared a meal after the memorial and while his father encouraged him to eat heartily to regain his strength, Taeron's appetite had not returned. He was glad for the excuse of his weakness to go to his chamber early with Dijana, glad to hold her in his arms as he cried again for the brother he had lost until sleep claimed him.
During the darkest hours of the night, Taeron woke, and he carefully pulled away from Dijana to walk out of the chamber to sit in the small private garden. The ancestors, not his own, but Staefyn's, called out to him on the wind, easing the ache of his heart, and he remained with them until the rising of the first sun when he returned to the woman in his bed. As he held her, he closed his eyes and concentrated as Staefyn had taught him, and putting his hand on her belly he sent a greeting to his daughter and smiled when she responded with a quicker beat of her heart. He listened to Dijana's breathy sighs as she slept, and wondering where she went in her dreams, he sent his consciousness into her, searching for her dreams and finding a little girl with beautiful gold-tipped wings flying about in a field of yellow and white flowers. But when she turned her head and would have seen him, he quickly withdrew and returned to his own body.
She stretched against him, then propped up on an elbow as she looked at him in the semi dark. "I was dreaming of my childhood, and suddenly you were in my dream."
He caressed her cheek as he smiled at her. "I did not do anything improper to you, did I?"
Dijana laughed and leaned forward to give him a lingering kiss. "I was a child, Taeron! Of course not!"
He rolled her onto her back. "You are not a child now."
The following day he was busy with his duties as the crown prince and especially with his duties as the head of his house. There was still an army on the Wasteland plains that he needed to disperse, and it was with much reluctance that he left Dijana for a few days to make arrangements. Although Amyr had wanted to accompany him, Taeron insisted that he remain at Guerani Palace to watch over Dijana. Amyr did not need to tell him how grateful he was that Taeron did not separate him from Quynn after they had been apart for so many months. Stryfe and Jeshed had gone with him, the former in his official capacity to record his actions and the latter because he wished to fly now that he was free of the collar Staefyn had put on him to hobble his shape shifting magic.
The warriors of his house were happy to see him and while Taeron had little to say about what had happened at Guerani Palace, Stryfe entertained the commanders with the story as he had heard it from his father. For several days afterward, the story was told and retold until Taeron's defeat of Warlord Kai was a legend that even he could not hope to live up to.
In truth, Staefyn urged him to do what he had done to Kai, that spilling his toxic blood on the warlord might be the only way to defeat him. Taeron had resisted, even with Staefyn's promise to heal him, wanting to defeat the Varoonyan in honorable combat, but Staefyn had opened Kai's thoughts to him. The warlord, fearing defeat, was planning to maneuver Taeron close to Dijana so that he could strike down her father and seize her to hold her as a hostage so that he could escape. Taeron could not allow that, so he had followed Staefyn's plan, putting Dijana's safety ahead of his pride.
Taeron spent days breaking down the camps and assigning the squadrons to different duties for the emperor. He sent the vast majority of the southern warriors back to his new holdings while assigning squadrons to Edgeland Fortress, the imperial palace and now to Guerani Palace to protect the emperor. Trey had already announced his intention to stay in the hills until the end of the warm season when he would return to Imperia. Taeron doubted he had much say in the matter when his wife wished to remain in the hills with the ancestors.
Meridon was waiting in his own camp for his return and he greeted him with a hug that knocked the breath from Taeron. "I almost tired of waiting for you, boy. Do you have any orders from the emperor for me?"
Taeron smiled at the old man. "You may do as you wish. Stay on the surface or return to Ulfynaeus."
The chieftain exchanged a look with his son and then he shook his head. "My life on Ulfynaeus is comfortable, that I cannot deny. But I have so few days remaining to me that I want to spend them here where I left my Caelitha's ashes in the sands. Darlac will take my place on Ulfynaeus."
Glancing at Darlac, Taeron knew that they had already discussed his father's plans thoroughly, possibly argued about them, but Meridon would have his way. "I will inform Trey of your decision. I will tell my mother as well."
The old man grunted. "She will want to mother me, and that I will not abide!"
Taeron chuckled and put his hand on Meridon's shoulder. "Better you than me." But then he grew serious. "You were the only father she knew, Meridon, and I think spending time with you will give her some peace, and you as well."
"Caelitha loved her dearly," he said with a sigh. He reached up to lay a hand on Taeron's cheek. "She would be proud of how Yarala turned her life around and managed to find her place in the world, how she gave Calabria a most beloved crown prince."
That night they feasted and Taeron drank far too much of Meridon's ale, but not so much that he was tempted by any of the females that offered to keep him warm in the night. He only needed someone to hold his head while he vomited from the excess and Jeshed was at his side to help, at least until his own behavior necessitated Taeron doing the same for him until he passed out. Stryfe had disappeared with females under both arms.
In the morning, his head pounding and his gut wrenching, Taeron had to look for both his brothers. He should not have been surprised to find Jeshed half-clothed with one of the warrior females of Darlac's tribe, and yet he was when he knew how Jeshed felt about Chaela despite her repeated rejections. Jeshed had been mortified by his drunken behavior although the female gave him a saucy smile and told him to come find her whenever he visited his father on the moon and she would be happy to repeat what they had done the night before.
Jeshed was still bemoaning his behavior when they found Stryfe who had drank so much the night before that he was still inebriated. So Taeron's plans to return to Guerani Palace were delayed until they could all recover from their excesses. Taeron was eager to return to his wife and heartily sick of fending off females, so he was glad two days later to take his leave of Darlac who was leading his warriors back to Edgeland Fortress while Taeron escorted Meridon and the dozen older warriors who wished to remain on the surface with him.
Meridon directed them to a location at the foot of the mountains where his tribe used to spend a portion of the year and he pointed out the place where he had burned his wife's body in the funereal rite. After paying his respects with him, he made his farewells of Meridon, and as he hugged the old man, he knew that he would not see him again, that he would barely live long enough for Larya to go to his side. As he rode away, Taeron let the tears roll freely down his cheeks as he thought of the many days he had spent among Meridon's people on the second moon. He must have always known that Meridon was important in his life, and yet he had not known how.
Stryfe had been quiet during the farewell, but as they rode slowly on the path into the mountains, he turned to look at Taeron. "I think you are keeping something from us."
There was much that Taeron was keeping from them, but that was the nature of keeping secrets, so he was not going to share with his brother.
"You spent a lot of time with Staefyn," he remarked thoughtfully. "I have read many of the Guerani scrolls, but I have not had time to read them all. What do you think they will tell me about Calabrian children fostered with Guerani children?"
Taeron glanced at him. "That they had their skinned knees regularly healed?"
His brother chuckled. "I think the scrolls had more than that to say about it. Do you wonder if the magic with which Dax altered your mother may have crossed into you?"
Rolling his eyes, Taeron shook his head. "I have no ..."
"You are a paladin," Jeshed said fiercely from the other side of him where he rode a horse he had some difficulty controlling. Taeron suspected the horse sensed his dragon form and that Jeshed would rather eat the horse than ride it. "You have holy magic, brother. Do not deny it! Why do you think your blood killed the warlord?"
At least Jeshed distracted Stryfe from his probing. "Perhaps there is truth in what you say. I am honored that the gods chose me." It was not so difficult to admit that he had magic although he was gods cursed to know how to put it to use. He had not even controlled when it had come to him during his fight with Kai.
"Your actions have honored the gods," Jeshed said with a nod.
Unfortunately, Stryfe was not as distracted as Taeron would have hoped. "I think you have some Guerani powers, brother, as well as your holy paladin blood."
"Would I not have used them to heal myself on occasion?" Taeron asked him with annoyance. His human brother was a pest!
"I said that you have some powers, not all of them." Stryfe stopped his horse and reached out to grasp Taeron's reins. "Why do you not admit it, Taeron? I have watched you these last few years, and I have come to the conclusion that you are an empath, have always been so because of the magic that Dax left in Larya. Your empathy became stronger as Staefyn's powers grew. I imagine the two of you communicated without speaking, that Staefyn did not always initiate it. Staefyn did not just take your memories, but he took the Guerani powers that you had developed."
It was no use hiding the truth from his brother. "I cannot heal. He tried to teach me to heal and I could not, so we assumed it was the Calabrian blood, that I was destined to be a warrior. But you are right in what you have assumed, all of it. When they unblocked my memories, the magic remained closed away from until … until Staefyn released it when he healed me." The flow of magic through his body had surprised him, and yet it had seemed so natural. "I initiated the trance and took Dijana into it."
"Will you tell them?" he asked Stryfe, knowing the answer.
"You should tell them, Taeron, but tell them you must. I doubt they will be surprised. Even my mother has managed weak healing powers and that after only a rudimentary lesson from Lord Apolo."
When they arrived at Guerani Palace, he found it had changed dramatically with all traces of Xuxa scrubbed away after being redesigned to Larya's elegantly exacting specifications. Taeron guessed that Apolo had some influence on her decisions because the palace had become a peaceful seat of Guerani power and the moment he stepped inside, he felt the joy of the ancestors.
Dijana must have been informed of his arrival because she was waiting in the hall for him and she lifted her long skirt so that she could run to him and she almost knocked him over with her exuberance. Taeron dipped his head to give her a long, thorough kiss that left her breathless and pink cheeked before he raised his head to see her parents standing nearby, Neria smiling indulgently as Roehan gave him a look of grudging approval. Although he wanted to take Dijana to their chamber and spend the day in her arms, a raised brow from Stryfe reminded him of the necessity of speaking to Trey, so he reluctantly told Dijana that he needed to report to the emperor. She did not question him although he saw Neria narrow her gaze as if to tell him that his first priority should be to her daughter.
Trey was relaxing in the sitting room of his private chamber, enjoying tea with his Arora, Apolo and Laryra when Taeron interrupted them. Stryfe had gone with him, not only as moral support, but as an expert having read the Guerani histories. Taeron began his explanation by apologizing for keeping secrets from them, and he could see that his mother was shocked that he would admit to dishonesty. But he forged ahead, admitting to everything Staefyn had taught him, that they had learned to use his powers together, and when they stared at him in disbelief, Stryfe added what he had learned from the texts, that there had been abandoned Calabrian females taken in by Guerani and raised among them from infancy who had developed full Guerani powers.
When Stryfe had finished speaking, Trey stared at Taeron in silence, probably wondering if he should look elsewhere for his crown prince, but after a deep sigh, he shook his head. "I could never have imagined this, Taeron, although I often wondered how it was that you always seemed to know how others felt."
"The skill is innate with him," remarked Apolo with a thoughtful nod. "Staefyn could not take that from him with the his Guerani powers, and I doubt Taeron consciously realized he was using Guerani magic."
"You say that Staefyn released your magic during your fight with Kai, before his death," said Arora with her gaze fixed on Taeron. "Why did he do it when you would not have known differently?"
"I do not know," he told her and he saw that she did not accept his lack of answer.
He wasn't surprised to feel her probing his mind for an answer, but she would find nothing, just as he meant for her. So he turned his attention to his mother to inform her that Meridon was dying and that she should go to him. Larya was grief-stricken and Apolo thanked Taeron for informing them before he hurried her from the room so that they could leave as soon as possible.
After Trey assured him that nothing would change, that his limited Guerani powers would only enhance his ability to rule, Taeron decided to tell his father before Amyr, but he found them together with Trynity and Quynn, so he was saved the trouble of repeating the story. His father took the news well since he had already grown accustomed to his wife's magic, then his daughter's, and compared to his holy powers, his Guerani abilities paled.
"I would like to know when I am going to be able to use magic," he grumbled.
Trynity put her hand over his. "I have told you repeatedly that you have magic."
He grunted. "Not that kind of magic, babe."
"I enjoy that magic."
He reached out to snag her hand and standing, he hefted her over his shoulder. "Then I have a mind to use my magic now."
Taeron shared a laugh with Quynn before he noticed Amyr looking at him.
"I suppose it explains why I cannot read your thoughts," said Amyr with a sigh.
"I am sorry, Amyr, if you were looking forward to doing so." Taeron smiled at him. "You can amuse yourself by trying to catch me off guard."
"I don't really need to read your thoughts, Taeron. You are so gods' cursed honest that it is nauseating." Amyr hugged him and then touched his forehead to Taeron's. "Are you hiding something now?"
"A thing or two," he admitted with a wry smile.
Amyr chuckled and stepped back. "Then I shall enjoy discovering your secrets although I suspect it may be years before I can do so."
Before going to Dijana, he sought her parents and he was not surprised that they had already heard the news of his powers. Roehan was skeptical, still not sure how he felt about Guerani sorcery, but Neria proclaimed him the ideal mate for her daughter because he would always know what she wanted and would keep her happy. Taeron would have done so anyway and had no intention of reading Dijana's thoughts, but he did not tell Neria as much.
Before taking his leave of them, he made a request that shocked them into silence. He did not have the ability to compel them to do anything, but once he had explained what he wanted and why, he was pleased that they agreed to his request and the need for secrecy. They would be leaving Calabria in only a few days since Neria was eager to return to her own rule, and he promised to bring Dijana to Teralon for the birth of their daughter. Taeron wasn't sure if he would be able to know exactly when that would be, but there were enough Guerani to warn him in advance if Caelitha could not do it herself.
When he left them, he was on his way to Dijana when a female stepped into his path from the shadows and he was startled to see that it was Keilana. She looked so dejected, her eyes seeming larger with the dark circles under them. Taeron was angry at himself for not making any arrangements for her. Staefyn's widow and the last of the vile house cursed by the emperor, she must have been like a ghost in the palace, appearing and yet ignored.
"My lord prince, will you speak to me?" she asked meekly.
Taeron would prefer to have someone with him because he did not trust her, and since there was little possibility of danger in the palace, he did not have his imperial guard at his side. He considered sending Amyr a mental message, but he decided to escort her to his chamber where his wife was waiting. Dijana had a right to hear their exchange since it would affect her as well.
"Come with me," he told her firmly but did not offer his arm. She did not seem bothered and followed him silently to his room.
Dijana's welcoming smile quickly faded when Keilana followed him into the chamber and she raised a brow in question before giving Keilana a polite smile that seemed to put Keilana more at ease.
Taeron went to Dijana and took her hand in his, finding her confused and anxious about the other female's presence in their private apartment. He squeezed her hand to reassure her before looking from her to Keilana.
"You are not aware that I spoke to your mother's brother after the battle on the plains," he told her. "He was concerned with your future."
"I have no where to go," she admitted softly, her gaze lowering.
Taeron remembered her scathing remarks to him the day they had been ready to exchange vows and he wished he had powers then to know how she really felt when she spoke so rudely to him. Now sensed her deep shame and he knew that she had lashed out at him because she was terrified of returning to her father's house after failing to secure the oath of the crown prince.
"Staefyn was the brother of my heart," Taeron told her. He looked at Dijana. "Forgive me, Dijana, that I did not consult you, but I did what I thought was right in promising Lord Wattan that I would take Keilana into my house."
Keilana gasped and when Taeron saw her blushing, he quickly shook his head. "Not as a concubine!" Gods! What else was she to think? He looked quickly at Dijana who was smiling at his outburst. He wanted to kiss her for her trust in him, but he was going to have to wait until Keilana left them alone.
"Then what shall I be?" she asked in confusion.
"A guest," he told her. "Until such time you can make a suitable match and I will provide you with adequate goods to attract a mate worthy of you."
She was overwhelmed by his generosity. "You would do that after what I said to you, how I treated you?" She looked at Dijana. "Lord Prince Taeron has not bonded to you. Is this arrangement acceptable to you?"
Dijana reached out to take her hands and Taeron was surprised that Keilana allowed her. "You risked your life in saving Yori from Warlord Kai when you had no reason to," she said. "I join my husband in welcoming you into his house. As for my husband not being bonded," she gave him a sidelong glance before looking back at Keilana. "The males of my world do not bond with females, so it is of little importance to me."
Keilana looked skeptical and then she smiled gratefully at Dijana. "I doubt I would have been so generous to you."
"Then you have something to learn," Dijana said before giving her a quick hug. She reached out to grasp Taeron's hand. "I have learned much from my husband and I will be forever grateful that the gods brought him into my life."
She could not feel more grateful than Taeron to have Dijana and he squeezed her hand to tell her so. Meeting her gaze, he remembered the first time he had seen her, how reluctant, and yes, terrified, he was to bring a female into his life, and now he could not imagine his future without her.
Keilana laughed and Taeron was surprised that she knew how. "I will leave you two alone, but if there is anything you wish for me to do to make the transition as the lord of the southern lands easier, please let me know, my lord prince."
After he thanked her, she left them and he drew Dijana into his arms, and putting his hand under her chin, he raised her face to his. "Are you sure that you want a female as beautiful as Keilana under our roof?"
"I trust you, Taeron," she said with a smile.
He leaned down to brush his lips over the place he had claimed her. "You know how I can ease your mind."
She laughed and pushed him back. "I have not changed my mind, Taeron. I will be at ease to know that you do not suffer by any separation we must endure."
Taeron was disappointed, but he understood her reason for not allowing him to bond with her, and he could not blame her for not understanding how much it meant to a Calabrian male. Some day she might relent or he would accept her way of thinking.
"There will be a celebration before your parents leave for Edgeland Fortress tomorrow," he told her. "Are you going to miss them, Dijana?"
She rolled her eyes and he chuckled. "Are you going to miss them, husband?"
"How do you feel about remaining on Calabria where my mother will want to have a hand in everything we do?" Although Taeron hadn't seen any enmity between the two most important females in his life, he could not imagine that Dijana would be happy if his mother tried to exert her influence.
But Dijana grinned. "Your mother has already told me that she has more advice to give me, especially for those times when your desire wanes."
"When my desire wanes?" He raised a brow. "I don't think you need that particular advice any time soon, or ever. As for me, I can do without the shadow cast by your father's wings. And your mother is a nag."
"They will expect us to visit often," she remarked. "Especially when we have children."
Taeron put his hand on her belly and he was amazed that he could sense his daughter even though Dijana had yet to feel her movements. Staefyn had been very disappointed not to be able to teach Taeron to heal, and Taeron wondered if his repeated attempts had only served to make him more powerful. Losing Staefyn after only just regaining his memories hurt, but he had a new life now, with Dijana and soon enough their child.
She put her hand on his. "You have been gone too many days, my lord husband."
He pulled her against him where she fit perfectly. "Did you miss me, my princess?"
Dijana slipped her arms around his neck. "I did, but did you have to tell Amyr to watch out for me? I have seen more of him these last two days than I wanted."
The annoyed look on her face made him laugh. "He is my imperial guard, Dijana, my cousin and my sister's husband. He will always be a part of our lives, especially if Yori has his way because he has convinced himself that Caelitha is his mate."
She sighed and rested her head against his chest. "The gods are laughing at me."
Taeron kissed the top of her head, then he closed his eyes to thank the gods, regardless of whether they laughed at Dijana or not. When he had turned to them, they had never failed them, and he would raise his children to honor and respect the them.
And he would honor and respect the ancestors whose voices spoke to him even now.