Epilogue

What took you so long?

I have duties. Do you think it is easy for the crown prince to sneak away? And with all the sympathy everyone has for me because ...

Staefyn waved his hand. "I did not mean to accuse you of ignoring me. I understand, but I have missed you."

Reaching into the pack that he had brought with him, Taeron handed the other man a flask. "You look awful, but I remember how I felt until Lady Trynity gave me her miracle brew."

When Staefyn put out his hand for the flask, Taeron saw that it was shaking so badly that he knew he would spill too much of the precious liquid. So he took back the flask, then drew him close, but he only held him for several moments, feeling how weak Staefyn had become since Xuxa's death. His body was trembling, his clothing soaked with sweat, but Taeron rocked him in his arms and stroked back the wet hair clinging to his head.

"I tried to stave off the worst of it," said Staefyn as he relaxed against him. "But I lost that battle days ago."

Taeron held the flask to his lips. "Drink deeply. You will feel the effects in only a few moments." He was relieved when Staefyn did as he ordered without arguing, and when he had drained the flask, Taeron set it aside and held him as they waited for the medicine to work its magic. They did not speak or communicate with their thoughts for several moments as they sat listening to the waterfall, the sounds of the birds, the whispers on the winds.

Finally Staefyn sighed deeply. "I cannot remember the last time I felt this good, Taeron. I regret mocking Lady Trynity's cures."

Taeron chuckled. "You should taste the ale she and Meridon cooked up."

"I don't think I ever will." Taeron heard the sad note in his voice. "I can never go back."

"Your father and mother would forgive you, Staefyn," he argued, and then he added, "but you have to forgive yourself. You believed the lies she told you. She was your mate."

Staefyn made a sound of disgust. "I trusted her. I had only my parents to use as a guide, and then she destroyed all my beliefs with her lies. I still wanted to believe her, even when I realized that she had lied about my father and you, had lied about my mother, about Amyr, but when I discovered what she had done to Larya, my father's sister, your mother, I wanted to break her neck."

"But you couldn't," said Taeron. He wished he didn't understand how Staefyn had felt for that female.

"I would have gladly accepted death," muttered Staefyn.

"I am grateful to Yori and the ancestors for saving you," said Taeron fiercely. "There is nothing to gain in death."

"I could have joined the ancestors," argued Staefyn morosely. "Instead I am alive and in more pain than I could ever have imagined."

They sat in silence for several more moments, Staefyn resting his weary body against Taeron who watched the light of the moons shimmering on the calm waters of the steaming pond. Holding his dearest friend, the brother of his heart, Taeron did not want to think about a future without him. Not after having been cheated of the last few years and all they could have shared. He did not blame Staefyn for blocking his memories because the choice Xuxa had given him would have ended his life that day.

"Where does your wife believe you are this night?" Staefyn finally asked.

Taeron sighed and put his chin on Staefyn's shoulder. "I told her that I wanted to check on the night patrols. Before you accuse me of lying to my wife, I did check on the patrols around the palace."

"And Amyr? He is not a very good imperial guard if he lets you wander about without his protection."

"I told Amyr where I was going and he allowed me the courtesy of going alone."

Staefyn nodded. "I hate to admit that he has probably found the role the gods meant for him in this life and he will be very good at it. Yori adores him, so he is a very good father, and I know that Quynn is deeply in love with him."

"You did not love my sister, did you?" Taeron did not want to hear that Staefyn would be nursing a broken heart.

"I once thought that I could, even with my bond, but when I finally had her and grew to know her, my infatuation with your beautiful sister grew into friendship. I felt her sadness for what she believes happened to me when Yori and Amyr brought her into communion with the ancestors." Staefyn squeezed his hand. "Will you tell her the truth, Taeron?"

"That you are not dead? She will be very angry with you. Do you think Yori will tell her?"

Staefyn shook his head. "Yori is considerate in keeping the secrets of others." He turned around and sat cross-legged to face Taeron who reached out to take his hands. "He knew who Dijana was all along on Norvana, but he did not tell you."

Taeron frowned at him. "So now I shall ask why you sabotaged my ship to send it past the frontier. You surely knew there was a great possibility that I would have been enslaved as Amyr had been? Do you think I would have accepted that? Don't tell me that you had no choice, that Xuxa made you do it."

"I had a choice, Taeron. She intended for me to plant an explosive that would have detonated after the princess boarded your ship. She wanted my father to be blamed, for him to be entrenched in war with Teralon so that she could strike when he was preoccupied with trouble on a frontier world."

Taeron could not forgive him so easily even if he had saved his life again. "We could have been captured and enslaved or worse." He shuddered to imagine what could have happened to Dijana.

Staefyn squeezed his hands and Taeron felt his calming magic. "The gods protected you, Taeron. They have always had a plan for you, probably since the moment Dax placed your mother in Meridon's hands to save her life."

"I only hope that I can prove myself worthy for their favor." The prospect was daunting.

Staefyn raised his head to look at Taeron in the moonlight. "What do you have planned for me? Shall I live in Xuxa's hut to await your visits?"

"That would be a miserable existence," said Taeron with a snort. "Fit only for a creature like her."

Staefyn laughed gruffly. "She was vile, but very accommodating as long as I did as she demanded. I won't tell you how many times she made me suffer, or how, when I did not obey her. The female was a tyrant."

"Did you love her?" The thought sickened him, but Taeron had to know.

"When I was young and first affected by the bond, I thought I loved her," admitted Staefyn sheepishly. "But I came to realize that she provided something for me that I needed, like air and food." He looked past Taeron to the pack he had brought with him. "Speaking of food, did you bring any? I haven't had the strength to find any on my own."

Turning, Taeron removed the pouch of food he had prepared from the pack and he handed it to Staefyn. "You will enjoy this."

"Sand slug, I hope." Staefyn dug into the pouch and withdrew one of the Teralonian beetles. "Ah! I have heard of these. They are from Teralon. When I visited Teralon, I had no idea they existed."

As Staefyn ate the green beetle, making sounds of pleasure, Taeron thought of the trip he had taken with Warlord Kai. "You must have seen Dijana then."

Staefyn stopped munching on the beetle, and after swallowing, he said, "I am ashamed to admit that I did not care about her or what the Varoonyan warlord was planning. Xuxa was waiting for me on the ship and I just wanted to get back to her as soon as possible although I knew my father expected me to consider one of Neria's daughters for marriage."

"She must have had her wings," remarked Taeron with a regretful sigh.

Reaching out to him, Staefyn took his hand and he shared with him his memory of meeting Dijana. She had been standing like an awkward fledgling with Sharisse who outshone her with her beauty, and yet Taeron was as captivated in this memory as he was the day she came onto his ship claiming to be someone else. Now he saw her flowing hair and her elegant wings that had been like her father's and his heart ached to imagine how painful it had been for her to lose them.

"You love her so much," commented Staefyn with a smile. "I am more happy for you than you can imagine, Taeron. If I cannot have that kind of love, I am consoled to know that you do."

"Do not give up hope," said Taeron.

"If Xuxa had not bonded me as a child, I could have fought it with my powers."

"Amyr has admitted to me that his second bond with Quynn did not last long after his power began to grow. He will never be as strong as you, but because of what that creature did to you ..." Taeron was disgusted anew, but he could not dwell on the past. "You asked me what my plan for you is." He dragged the large pack he had brought with him between them. "You are going on a trip, Staefyn."

"Am I?" He could see the amused raise to his brows. "Am I to accompany you to your new lands? And how will you explain my presence when I am presumably dead?"

"You are leaving Calabria with the Teralonians. I have already made the necessary arrangements with them, and they have given me an oath not to inform your parents that you yet live."

"Much as I enjoy this Teralonian fare, I do not want to imagine a future in a society where females are so powerful. I am sorry, Taeron, but I have already spent too much of my life dictated to by a female."

Taeron laughed. "I will be spending the rest of my life dictated to by one."

"A very beautiful female that you love and who loves you as well," pointed out Staefyn. "It took me far too long to realize that Xuxa didn't give a gods' damn about me." He fell silent for a moment and Taeron was glad that he did not have the memories that Staefyn had, nor did he have any intention or any desire to probe his mind to find out what he was thinking about. They knew each other well enough for him to be able to do it, but it was not worth the effort Taeron would have to expend.

Finally Staefyn remarked, "Speaking of dictatorial females, what has become of Keilana of house Caron?"

"You mean Keilana of house Staefyn, do you not?" Taeron raised a brow at the brother of his heart. "What did you intend to happen to her?"

Staefyn shrugged. "Xuxa told me to give her my oath and I did."

"You risked your life to keep her safe," remarked Taeron thoughtfully. "You must have seen something of worth in her, something that I did not see."

"You would not see worth in any female except Princess Dijana. I know that I have wronged that female, and I feel some responsibility towards her when I know that my father would certainly have nothing to do with her. He was probably infuriated that I exchanged vows with her, and I could see that he did not care if she lived or died by Xuxa's hand. What has become of her?"

"I can see how a man might find her desirable," he remarked to test him.

Staefyn snorted. "That insipid wench? Did you desire her, Taeron?" He added the last question as if it were an afterthought, but Taeron sensed Staefyn was eager to know.

Taeron laughed at his transparent jealousy. "Perhaps I thought that if I had to make her my wife, it would not have been such a chore."

For a moment he thought Staefyn was going to explode and he felt his outrage, but then Staefyn laughed. "You are even more perceptive than I remember."

"Quynn told me that she thought you might have had feelings for her."

"As much attraction as my bond would allow," admitted Staefyn. "Regardless of how I might have felt about her, Taeron, I could not act upon it. The gods were cruel to dangle her before me when I could never have her. I enjoyed claiming such a lovely female as my wife even though I could not share her bed because of Xuxa and now that Xuxa is gone, I feel nothing but the need of her clawing at my insides, a need that I know will ease into losing all desire for a female. Before you came tonight with Lady Trynity's medicine, I was considering the ways that I could end my life as the ancestors cried out to stop me from such contemplation."

"Then you should take heart in hearing that I have made arrangements with Queen Neria to have you delivered to Norvana where you will make the acquaintance with Carrinda."

Staefyn looked at him sharply. "You would send me beyond the frontier?"

"Do you have anything better to do, brother?"

He hung his head. "I suppose not. Is Carrinda the infamous healer who broke your bond and the first bond Amyr made with Quynn?"

"You had something to do with Amyr's bond," Taeron chided him.

"Only in suggesting that he give Quynn a rose that day.. I was living vicariously through him and imagined myself giving her the bloom. The lazy idiot did not remove the thorns and what is worse, he was such an ignoramus that he did not know the consequences of taking her blood." Staefyn snickered gleefully. "I can imagine how miserable he had been in those years separated from her."

"Feeling as you do now, you can still say that?"

Staefyn threw back his head defiantly. "He was a selfish bastard that did not deserve her! You know that as well as I do, otherwise you would not have aided in tearing them apart."

Taeron did not argue. Quynn would not have had anything to see in the garden the night she had exchanged vows with Amyr if Amyr had not flirted with the female serving his table and met with her in the garden. If he had not been bonded to Quynn, he would have used her as he had many times in the past even though he had made an oath to Taeron's sister.

"We will agree that Amyr was a bastard, but he has learned humility and he wants to set a good example for Yori," he finally said.

"What is to become of me once the healer has broken my bond?" asked Staefyn curiously.

Having given it much thought, Taeron was ready with an answer. "You will return to Teralon and wait for me to bring Dijana for the birth of our child." He squeezed Staefyn's hands. "I want you to be with us, Staefyn, when Caelitha joins us in this world."

His joy passed through their joined hands. "I would be honored, Taeron, to be at your side. I assume Amyr will be there as well."

"Amyr will be the first to learn that you yet live, and when I return to Calabria with my wife and daughter, I will bring with me the brother of my heart. Your mother and father love you and will readily forgive you. You could have snared the house Caron warriors with an oath to you, but you did not. They are very well aware of it, and Quynn has reported all that Xuxa did in your name that you had no knowledge of."

"I am guilty of denying her nothing," he grumbled. "And taking the blame for everything she and Kai did."

"When you return to Calabria, you will be able to begin your house with Keilana, now of house Taeron."

Staefyn frowned. "You are not bonded, Taeron. It is not wise for you to take another female into your house that does not share your blood."

Taeron shrugged. "I have no interest in her, and I have already given her a place in my home. It is only temporary, Staefyn, until you return with us in several months time."

He sighed deeply. "You have thought of everything, Taeron."

"I have made plans that, gods willing, I believe will work."

"The gods have always favored you, Taeron, but I cannot believe they are as forgiving for all that I have done." Staefyn turned his head to look at the steaming water. "When do I leave?"

Taeron glanced at the water too, and he smiled. "We have time to swim, but not for long. The first sun will rise soon and Dijana will wonder why I have not returned. I have a horse waiting for you. The Teralonians will be waiting for you at the foot of the hill path. I have packed away enough of the medicine to last at least until Norvana when you will no longer need it."

Standing, Staefyn started to remove his soiled, filthy clothing, but he stopped and he hugged Taeron. "I will miss you, brother."

As he held him close, Taeron mused about how long Staefyn had missed him already by closing off his memories. But they were young and they would make many more memories, memories they could share with their children and with their grandchildren until their voices joined with the ancestors.

THE END