"Where's Daddy?" Krissy demanded the minute she entered the house and greeted Whitney. The children had returned home that Sunday evening. She hadn't seen Kevin since they had left the dock in Santa Barbara. "I'm not sure sweetie." Whitney said, offering as best as a smile as she could. "Daddy! Movie!" Bray exclaimed. "Daddy!" Bre stated as well. The children were all mama's babies; but they loved their daddy unconditionally. "Oh yeah, movies! Did he go get movies?" Krissy asked hopefully. "It's movie night!"
Whitney picked at her salad and chicken. "Why don't you call daddy and make sure he's bringing home movies?" Whitney forced another smile for her kids. Krissy ran to the telephone and quickly punched out his numbers. She was relieved to find out that she was talking to him, meaning that he was okay. Dan had called her to say that he stayed at his house for that night before spending a night at their parent's house. "Yayy! Daddy's bringing movies." She tussled playfully with the twins for space on Whitney's lap. "Annndd he's bringing pineapple and peperoni pizza too." "Yay pizzaaa!" The twins simultaneously said. "When I asked you guys if you were hungry, you all told me no." Whitney told them. "Because mommy, that was salad and chicken. We're always hungry for pizza." Krissy explained. "Pizza, yummy!" Bray exclaimed. "Salad yucky!" Bre echoed. Whitney genuinely laughed for the first time in days and shook her head. She was glad to have her babies around to uplift her spirit. "You all are something else!" she told her beautiful children.
Whitney had just helped Krissy put popcorn and oil in the antique popper when Kevin burst into the room with two large pizzas and a case of Coke.
"Daddy!" Kevin could barely put down the pizza and soda before Krissy and the twins fought to be in his arms. "We've missed you." Krissy told him. "I missed you guys too. I've been thinking about you, Bray and Babydoll all day." He had given Brelynn that nickname for her gorgeous doll-like delicate features and golden, wispy curls. "Daddy, movies?" Babydoll asked. "Oops, I must have forgotten them in the car." He told them. He served Krissy, Bray, and Babydoll a slice of pizza and took a huge bite out of a slice himself. "I'll go get them!" Krissy raced out of the family room while Kevin and the twins ate pizza. Whitney nervously tapped her foot. Kevin hadn't spoke to her or even attempted eye contact. Krissy returned with the movies and a box of Twizzlers and other candy.
"Here mommy." Krissy gave her the bag of licorice. "Daddy bought your favorite candy." Whitney felt a lump forming in her throat. I can't cry now, not in front of the kids. "Thanks, baby." Whitney offered a small smile at her husband. "You're welcome hon," Kevin replied with absolutely no eye contact. Hon? That was so generic and unlikely of him to call her such. He called every other woman that. It was apart of his gentlemanly, cowboy charm. A single tear pressed itself out of Whitney's eye, and she quickly wiped it away. There would be no battle between her and the tears tonight…not in front of the children.
"Daddy, did you have a good time on the boat for your birthday?" Krissy inquired. "I sure did sweetheart. Let's cut these lights off, it's showtime." Kevin told her. He didn't like putting on a show for his little loved ones, but he didn't want the children to know that anything was wrong either. Whitney was glad that Kevin cut the lights off. He grabbed the twins and Krissy sat in between Whitney and Kevin.
When the movie was over, the twins fell asleep. Kevin carried them up the stairs to their rooms for bed. Whitney stood up and stretched. "Mommy, can I watch TV before bed?" Krissy asked her. "Sure baby. You can watch for about 30 minutes, but then, it's light out." Whitney told her as she hugged and kissed her growing daughter. "Are you okay mommy?" Krissy asked her. She fixed an identical set of mocha eyes on her mother. "You were actually quiet during the whole movie. We didn't have to tell you be quiet one time because you were talking back to the TV." She giggled as Whitney playfully ran her fingers through her hair. Whitney knew that her daughter was smart and could pick up on feelings and emotions easily, so she knew that she had to do a better job in concealing what was going on. "Yes baby, I'm okay." She feigned a yawn. "I feel asleep during the movie. Don't worry about me. I'm the mother and I'm supposed to worry about you. I'll come up to tuck you in soon." "Okay mommy!" Krissy happily said as she skipped to her room. Whitney breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that her façade worked. As soon as she went out of sight, Whitney collapsed on the sofa like a rag doll.
She hoped that Kevin would be coming back downstairs so they could talk, but he never did. She finally went up to their suite after kissing her slumbering children in their respective rooms. She found Kevin in their bed, reading. "Don't get any ideas. I'm only lying here until the kids are asleep and them I'm going back downstairs." "Kevin, can we talk about this?" she asked. Kevin was still angry at his wife and felt betrayed. "There's nothing to talk about as far as I'm concerned." "Are you ever gonna to talk to me again?" Whitney was on the verge of tears. "I haven't made up my mind yet." Kevin retorted.
"Do you want a divorce Kevin?" Whitney voiced her biggest fear. The two stared at each other intensely. Here they were, talking about the one word they never thought they would have say to each other, the D-Word. How fast and hard did their world come crumbling down.
"I don't know what I want…or what is gonna happen." Kevin softly told her. "I don't wanna lose you baby. I love you so much." Whitney began to tear up once again. "I'm….I need….help….I don't want to lose my family over this. I'm tired of relying on drugs to cope baby." Kevin's heart dropped, and for a moment he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that everything would be okay. That somehow they would get over this whole thing together.
But quickly he thought about how she could have reached out to him a long time ago, instead of lying to him about needing help with such a huge weakness. Something that he actually, could relate to. Did she NOT think of him as her rock? Did she NOT trust him as much as she told him that she did? He felt more betrayed that she did not come to him with her problem more than the problem itself.
Instead of saying anything, he got out of bed and grabbed his robe and book. "I'm sure the kids are asleep now." Kevin left the room without saying another word and Whitney wept until her pillows were soaked with tears. Exhausted, she finally fell asleep. The next morning, Kevin had already left again before she was out of the bed. He had breakfast with the children and left as she was going into the bathroom. She heard his Range Rover as he drove away. All she wanted to do was stay in bed that day, but she had to be mommy. She remembered that it was her duty to take the children to school while she was home, one of the few "normal people" things that she usually enjoyed doing.
She took a quick shower and chose a pretty blue lace top to wear with a skirt and boots, and fixed her hair and makeup. She at least felt better about herself, when she walked into the kitchen.
"You look beautiful mommy." Krissy stated. "Mommy pretty!" Babydoll exclaimed. "Pretty!" Bray echoed. "Good Morning Whitney. You look really nice." Said Angela, their chef. Whitney smiled at everyone. "Thank you guys. Now let's hit the road before you are late." Whitney dropped them off just in time. She was about to pull off when she heard someone call her name. She turned around and saw CeCe waving frantically. "Hey girl, what's up?" Whitney came over to her. She had almost forgotten that CeCe's kids attended the same school and that CeCe loved taking her kids to school whenever she could as well. "I'm glad I caught you here." CeCe told her. "I tried calling you yesterday, to see how everything was going." Whitney slipped on her blue aviator shades, matching her blouse as she leaned against her car. "I don't remember getting a call from you. I thought you had kicked me to the curb too after everything that happened that night." Whitney slightly smiled, to help her cope. "I think you missed it. I just called to see how you were after I left. Have you talked to Robyn?" Whitney shook her head. "I've only talked to my husband, parents and children. They're the ones who I have hurt and have to either protect or mend on what they know." "So you've talked to Kevin?" CeCe asked, hopeful. "I know you didn't get your sexy back for nothing. Those boots and outfits are nice sis." "Thanks." Whitney told her. "And Kevin's not talking to me. I guess I got my sexy back for me."
"I'm sorry girl."
"Yeah, but I have myself to blame huh?" she said as the smile faded from her face. "So, you wanna hit up Starbucks or something? We can get something and sit in the car so we don't have to worry about anyone eavesdropping." CeCe followed her to Encino where they ordered coffee, tea and pastries in peace and sat in CeCe's car. "So how's life? I feel like it's been about me and my fucked…uhh…messed up drama for days." Whitney said as she sipped her tea. She forgot how CeCe could cringed at hard curse words. "All is well. Just been worried about you and Kevin. I'm glad that you have been trying to handle everything okay." "I'm really tryin' girl" Whitney told her. "Last night Krissy was on me. She asked if I was okay." "Krissy is very sensitive and intuitive." Whitney nodded in agreement. CeCe gave a small smile. "That husband of mines was too upset with me." Whitney was shocked. "For what?!" "Because I didn't tell him and BeBe what I thought I knew." "You guys all do tell each other everything." Whitney took a bite out of her muffin. "I guess I never said anything because I wanted so badly to be wrong about my intuition. But it all was true." CeCe admitted.
Whitney sighed as she leaned forward and put her head in her hands. "You know, I've never been so ashamed in my life sis. I've lied horribly to my husband and parents, and put you through my mess all for what? To get high? I let all of this clear my judgment CeCe." She gave CeCe a despondent glare . "And you know the messed up part about all of this is that….I STILL have the desire to use right now? It took everything in me this weekend and this morning to not find that stuff and use it because I'm stressing. What's wrong with me? I'm a functioning addict." She dabbed her face with tissue. "I've let drugs run and ruin my life."
"I guess I can tell you now. Before this album came out, Clive told me that he knew I was using and to cut it out before he told everyone. I couldn't even keep my word to him."
CeCe looked at her friend helplessly. Who would have known that she was going through all of this? She thought. Such a beautiful, talented woman. The girl with the golden voice. Who, by the way, happens to be addicted to drugs.
"You know CeCe, I told him that I needed help. That I wanted to stop. And he didn't even acknowledge that." Whitney said as more tears slipped out of her eyes. "But I guess I can't blame him…. I lied to him the whole time we've known each other. So I really can't be mad if he chooses to leave me."
CeCe took Whitney's hand. "Girl, if I could give you a big hug to make you better, I wish I could. But you have to seek help sis. You, your brothers and Robyn, if need be. But I want you to get better and get your life back." CeCe sighed. "As far as Kevin, I really think you need to give him some time to let everything sink in. He loves you girl. I can tell every time that he looks at you. He's crazy about you. But you have to realize that this is a lot to process for him. So he is gonna be angry with you and may say things he does not mean. Let him get this all off of his chest. But eventually, I truly believe with all of my heart that he will stand by you and forgive you."
Whitney nodded, feeling slightly better at her friend's proclamation. "Can we pray sis?" she asked. "Of course. You know I'm always down for that." CeCe said as she grabbed both of Whitney's hands. She prayed to God for her friend to get over her demons and addiction and for major repair on her marriage, motherhood and relationship with her parents.