A/N: Horribly long overdue, I apologize for that! But it's here now, and I can finally put the story to rest. I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews- I didn't anticipate getting such great feedback!

Kidman's heart was partially in her throat as she tried not to look rushed when she made her way out of the aged apartment building; she nearly bruised her shoulder when the front doors didn't budge the first time she pushed on them. The barely renovated parking lot was filled with cop cars, and there were still more of them pulling in from the street. She didn't think the call they had taken that morning was all that bad, but obviously... she was proven wrong.

She could feel rocks churning in her stomach at the sound of her heels clicking too loudly against the pavement.

With all the potential extra pairs of eyes watching her, she still couldn't go running across the parking lot. She could only hope that Joseph could hear her following after him, and at least have the decency to slow down- or even better, stop.

But seeing as he had already rounded the corner of the building, she had high doubts about that.

...

Their first official day back on the job... and shit just had to hit the fan for them.

"Joseph," Kidman called out for him- to no avail it would seem, "I know you can hear me."

She tried to keep her voice low enough so that the newly responding officers wouldn't hear her, but loud enough so that he would. Not that it seemed to matter, considering that he had yet to show any signs of hearing her- let alone respond to her.

It was an agonizing wait as she forced herself to keep paced.

As soon as she hit the corner of the building though, she ran after him. Or at least as fast as her heels would allow, which was still pretty damn fast.

Faster than Joseph was expecting maybe, because when he finally did turn around to see her, she nearly ran into him instead.

She tried to ignore the way he instinctively stepped away from her when she tried to reach out for him.

"Come on, it's fine," Kidman whispered, keeping her tone assuring as she dropped her attempt to touch him, "just... talk to me, okay? You can talk to me."

"You saw what happened in there," Joseph started, his voice coming out in a mix of exasperation, and fear. There was just the slightest of tremors in his words- just enough to pick up on, but still hold the potential to be overlooked. "Why would I... I wasn't even thinking. It was like- like some kind of involuntary movement. I couldn't control myself- I wasn't in control of myself."

She tried not to show any facial reaction to his words, but... they still felt like a punch to the gut for her.

...

After nearly a month and a half away from any serious work, it was almost exciting to get back into the field- to get back into the action. Of course, they were all a little more careful, a little more weary of what they were doing- more cautious to who they were getting involved with now. But the first call they got that morning was about some kind of crime scene in the north apartments- nothing too serious.

So, needless to say, they were with the first patrol that went out.

It was an obvious scene of violence; Sebastian was the first one to call it a drug trade gone bad.

And he was right.

Especially since the seller showed up while they were in the middle of investigating the apartment- his apartment.

The guy blew all hell and started yelling- and then he decided to charge.

Kidman wasn't exactly sure what was going on inside of the guy's head, but she supposed to the unknown eye they didn't exactly look like Detectives. Hell, they didn't even look like cops, so he might've thought they were breaking into his place for something to steal- maybe heard about the deal that went wrong. And while they did have two uniformed officers with them, the men later admitted that they weren't exactly watching the door when the guy barged in.

Either way, the guy came at them swinging, and since Joseph was the closest to the door, the guy went for him first.

And what happened next was... still kind of a blur.

Joseph managed to dodge the first swing, and caught the guy by his flailing wrist to prevent another attempted punch.

And then he caught the guy by the throat next.

She vaguely remembered the look of surprise on the guy's face, and the hollow look on Joseph's, before her partner used the guy's momentum against him and threw him hard into the floor. It knocked the air clean out of the guy, and left him wheezing as he clutched at his now reddened throat.

She didn't know exactly when she did it, but when the scene came to a stop, Kidman found her fingers touching at her own neck; and suddenly she remembered that same feeling of the air getting knocked out of her, of the ringing in her head as it was smashed into the floor. Of his hand wrapped so tightly around her neck she couldn't breathe, as bruises formed all too easily underneath his fingers.

And considering that she heard the sharp inhale Sebastian took somewhere behind her, she had no doubts that he was remembering the same things.

...

Joseph didn't even look at them, and she couldn't say she blamed him.

He was out the door before the officers even had the guy in handcuffs.

For what it was worth, he remained calm over the whole thing- or at least he gave off the persona that he was calm. Which was good, because... she didn't think she could've handled him having a breakdown right then and there- not that one wouldn't be warranted.

"It's fine," Kidman started, tempting fate as she moved one hand to brush against his arm. "It was... you were just protecting yourself-"

"I'm not sure if I was, Juli," he interrupted, "it sure as hell didn't feel like it." his voice broke with a brief sigh as he moved his hands to cup the sides of his neck. "I thought I was getting better with this- that I was slowly going to be able to put this whole thing behind me, at least enough to function again. But I can't... I can't risk something like this happening a second time; I can't risk accidentally killing the next guy."

"You're not going to," she objected.

"You can't keep denying the possibilities of it happening, and then just assume that it's going to help," Joseph briefly snapped, as he brushed her hand aside. "I can't think like that. Believe me, I would love to think that this was a one-time thing, that there's no possibility of it happening again... but I can't; I can't afford to do that. If I'm not in complete control of all of my actions, then... this happens; I do something that is going to get either myself, or someone else hurt- or killed for all I know."

...

She knew he had a point.

And she knew there was little else she could say to help him get past it.

He would have to do that on his own... which was the hard part to deal with.

Joseph had every right to be upset- it was clearly justified, but... Christ, she hated feeling helpless. Ever since STEM, it just felt like she was nothing more than a burden on him- unable to do much, if anything, to ease his struggling.

Sighing, Kidman moved both of her hands to his shoulders- despite his two defensive objections to her touch. She wasn't exactly sure why she kept doing it; maybe it was some bullshit way of getting a hold of him. Since she couldn't do that mentally or emotionally, she had to go the easy route of physically holding him. "It was one slip- one accident," she reminded, "you need to stop writing yourself off so quickly. I know you're worried, and I know it's important for you to keep yourself in check, but... you had your hands on him for ten seconds at best- and it was out of self-defense. You can't overreact like this- it's this that's going to make you lose your grip." she paused slightly, realizing he had yet to brush her off again, and decided to press her luck as she moved to cup her hands against his jaw. "I don't know what's going on inside of that head of yours, alright? I wish I did, then again I'm sure you do too, and... I wish there was a way for me to help you that didn't involve potentially decking you in the face."

...

Maybe it was the sudden absurdity of her remark, but she heard him give a brief laugh in response.

And it was good to see his face light up again- even if only for a moment.

"I'd much prefer if you didn't," Joseph started, "I know how hard you hit."

... Right.

Back in STEM, she had fought tooth and nail for her life- even if it was against him. And every time he put his hands around her neck, she did whatever she could to get loose; which might've included breaking his nose and busting his lip one too many times.

In fact, Kidman was pretty certain the scar he had left over on his lower lip was from her.

But, she had to admit, she was surprised he remembered all of it.

"Good, then you know I mean business," she replied, "are you... you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," Joseph answered, sounding a little less certain than she would've liked. He always bounced back pretty quick after something like this, but as of lately, it was almost... scary how quickly he could do it. But he was good at keeping up a persona, and she could see how he wouldn't want an outbreak like this to affect his career- or his professionalism. She just wished there was a healthier way for him to deal with this that didn't involve having to bottle everything up.

But if this was how he wanted to cope... she couldn't stand in his way.

Kidman offered a trying smile, before she leaned in and brushed her lips against his- feeling the warmth of the soft exhale that left him. She felt his hands hesitate before they moved to her shoulders, grasping them at first, before he gently pushed her away.

"Despite... what just happened," he started, "we're still on the department's time."

She made a brief scoffing noise, which drew an amused look from him- one she was certain he had been waiting to use. But he wasn't wrong; he never was. She patted her hands against his cheeks before she dropped them away. "Right you are, Officer Killjoy."

"Detective Killjoy."

Kidman rolled her eyes, and watched as he smoothed out his collar and briefly re-adjusted his tie. "Come on, let's head back inside," she ushered, "not sure why so many people showed up, but... I don't want to leave Sebastian to deal with them. Who knows what will happen."

"Nothing good, I can tell you that," Joseph replied, before he followed her as they made their way back around the building and headed inside.

They paused just long enough to watch three officers haul the would-be assailant out of the building and wrestle him into the backseat of one of the cars. And considering the amount of obscenities that were coming from him... Kidman certainly wasn't bothered by Joseph throwing the guy to the ground anymore.

They headed back up the stairs to the third floor and watched as new crime scene tape was rolled out, and noted that the Forensics team was standing off to the side- waiting. The hallways felt too narrow for this many officers to be standing around, but Kidman supposed they now had enough of a warrant to search the building.

It took them awhile to find Sebastian in the mess, but all they had to look for was the tallest man in the room, and for the burning end of a lit cigarette.

"We miss anything?" she asked, as they briefly regrouped in one of the tight, conjoining hallways, just next to the fire escape.

"Not much," Sebastian answered, giving them a brief shrug with the response. "We had a second suspect show up and walk into the room after hearing the commotion the first guy gave. He bolted as soon as he realized what was going on, but we managed to nail him in the staircase, and haul his ass out first. Figured he was in on the whole thing, so we decided to check his apartment as well."

"Let me guess, he was hiding something too," Joseph spoke, as he tugged on the cuff of his glove. "And I'll take a wild stab here, and say illegal guns."

"Ten of them without licenses- and four of them have potentially been stolen," Sebastian replied.

"Well, drugs and guns do go hand in hand."

Kidman gave a sigh and crossed her arms at the news. "This fucking city sometimes," she muttered, turning slightly to watch as another unit arrived and squeezed on through the crowd. "Are we doing a sweep of the building?"

"Just this floor," Sebastian answered. "The second guy made some wild claims that his neighbor had been stealing his guns, so we're working on getting the key from the landlord. The neighbor's not home right now, but we're bracing ourselves for a third tantrum."

Well... this case was turning out to be bigger and bigger than she had expected.

Just how many more drug dealers and gun thieves would show up before this day was over with?

And they all just happened to be living in the same building? What a fucking coincidence.

"I gotta admit, not a bad haul for the first day back," Kidman remarked. "It's going to be a hellva report to turn in though."

"You're telling me," Sebastian muttered, blowing out a cloud of smoke as he watched the Forensics team finally get to move in on the crime scene. "Look, we've got way too many fucking people in this building, why don't you two head back to the office and get a start on this report? By the time this is over with, we'll probably have two or three more people in custody- might as well start getting the reports out of the way while we can."

The offer wasn't a bad one- even Kidman had to admit that the building was starting to get a little uncomfortable. And especially after what had just happened... she was pretty certain Joseph wanted out of here just as much- and Sebastian knew that. As much as the older man had somewhat... shut down after everything that had happened regarding STEM and Beacon, he was still looking out for them. "You think you can handle this by yourself?" Kidman asked.

"I know I can," he retorted.

"Alright then, since you offered," she replied, "- don't hesitate to call for back-up though."

"I've been in worse situations."

...

That he had.

And true to his nature... Sebastian was getting them out of one as well- at his own risk. As usual.

There couldn't have been more of a relief as they stepped out of the crowded apartment building and into the parking lot once more. Some of the squad cars had left by now, but there were still plenty taking up the lot; not to mention a few officers who were wandering about aimlessly it seemed- no doubt knowing that it was too crowded inside for them to be of much help.

And Kidman was glad as hell to get out of there.

Even if it meant they'd just be going back to the office to do paperwork- at least it was quiet. And for Joseph's sake, it would give him a secured, established environment to calm down and... get himself back into order.

Kidman watched as Joseph pulled the keys from his pocket and unlocked the squad car they had all piled into that morning. He was a safe, attentive driver, which was nice to have and all, but... the drive out to the scene this morning really made her miss Connolly and his erratic conversations. She didn't think he had affected her much in any way, and yet... here she was already dealing with that pit in her stomach again.

"So let me get this straight," Kidman started, as Joseph pulled the car out of the parking lot and onto the empty street. "Sebastian can smoke while on the job, but I can't kiss you? At the very least, a kiss isn't going to kill you in the long run."

"It could."

She made a brief scoffing noise and rolled her eyes at him, hearing him chuckle quietly in response. "Why did I ever want to make amends with you?"

"Because you owe me," Joseph reminded, "and you happen to find my personality very attractive."

"It's not your personality."

...

When Joseph had told her before that he wasn't ready to give up on her... Kidman tried not to put much into the words. She tried not to let them get to her, to not let them get ahead of her while she was vulnerable. In her experience, people said things when they were scared, and... once they had themselves put back together, it could be a whole different story.

And suddenly those words didn't mean shit.

So she tried not to act on them, tried to just... let him figure himself out, and once that was done, she would see where she stood. Sure, she had high hopes that maybe it would work out just this one time, but she wasn't stupid; she wasn't going to ignore her experience and pretend the world was a good place. And that things always turn out for the best for everyone.

But Joseph had a habit of proving her wrong- and she was beginning to think that he liked doing so.

They picked up the pieces and took it slow.

They tried to just... start over from the beginning, but even doing that much was difficult- not in the way they expected though. They kept up on open communication, and gave each other much needed space- which in their conditions, mostly his, was an absolute necessity some times. But every now and then she'd wake up in the middle of the night to find the two of them tangled together in bed. She never was one for cuddling, and neither was he, but on rare occasions they liked to break that mold.

Kidman found herself rather enjoying the comfort- in moderation, of course.

It would've been easier if they could just... forget about what had happened- forget about STEM all together.

But that was near impossible; it was integrated into all of them.

"Do you still need to stop by your place after work?" Joseph questioned, as he just now pulled back into the precinct parking lot.

Kidman mused the question over.

While she was hesitant to say that they had moved in together... she hadn't been back at her own apartment since the whole mess with Beacon and STEM; she only went back long enough to grab clean clothes and some various knick-knacks she might need. Other than that though, she couldn't say that she really remembered what her place looked like anymore.

It had been such a pleasure to get her own place after years of never really having a home, and yet... here she was, trying to get forget about it now.

"Yeah, I still need to get a few more things," she replied, watching as he pulled the car around to the back of the building. At this point, she would've preferred to stop beating around the bush and just throw all her furniture into storage and cut her lease short. But as appealing as that offer was- she wasn't stupid.

She knew Mobius was still keeping tabs on her. And even if she wasn't back at her apartment every night, that didn't mean they weren't still keeping watch. She knew the apartment had been bugged from the start, but she was desperate, so it didn't bother her back then... It did now though. And she wasn't going to risk cutting cords when Mobius still had the noose around her neck.

...

And Joseph knew that- and she was glad that he understood it.

"You already got your laptop, and your heels, what more do you need to get?" he asked- although the light-heartedness of his tone implied that he was teasing her, and just trying to lighten up the topic.

"All those delightful family photo albums that I have," Kidman retorted, before she continued. "I just forgot a few things, that's all- like my jacket, and my passport."

"Not a bad thing to have if you plan on leaving the country."

"Well, you know me, always gotta be ready to run when I can."

And as she suspected, or rather knew at this point, as soon as they made it back into their wing of the building, Joseph practically locked himself in his office. He just needed an hour, or two to calm himself down and go through the steps of what had happened so that he could avoid it next time. It was... difficult to see him so hard on himself, but she knew that STEM hadn't been kind to him- both during their stay and after their release. There were still days where it was like Hell for him, so she couldn't blame him for relaying on his own methods to keep calm and get himself back under control.

She trusted him, and she knew he wasn't reckless enough to try anything dangerous.

He just needed time.

They all did.

She was just glad that he was okay with, maybe even relieved, to have her along for the ride.

...

...

It was well after dark before they got off work- almost one in the morning.

Kidman guessed it was just a coping mechanism for Joseph to drown himself in work until he was too mentally exhausted to do much else. But hey, there were worst coping mechanisms to go about, and this was... one of the more harmless ones. And she stuck around to make sure he got home okay.

Sebastian had stepped out around eleven, and she didn't blame him.

He didn't leave the crime scene until eight- and he ended up putting an additional three people behind bars, which was impressive; he deserved the rest of the night off.

And, as planned, Joseph drove her back to her apartment. She didn't like either him or Sebastian being near it, afraid that Mobius might jump from the shadows to snag them, but she was at just as much risk as far as they were concerned. And it wasn't like Mobius would have much of a use for them anyways.

Still, she made Joseph stay in the car.

Kidman hurried up the outdoor flight of stairs to the second floor of the building- struggling to get her keys out of her pocket the entire time. Her hand was still warm from holding Joseph's the entire car ride over- much to his mocking dismay of her keeping him from having both hands on the steering wheel.

Fumbling for the lock, she managed to get the doorknob twisted just right before the door sprang open.

She really needed to tell her landlord about the door sticking, but... at this point, she didn't really care.

Flipping on the lights, Kidman immediately grabbed at her spare jacket hanging from the coat rack next to the door, before she headed towards her bedroom. Her passport was a bit trickier- considering that she didn't remember exactly where she had put it. Was it in her dresser drawer, or shoved somewhere under the couch?

Walking into her bedroom, she had forgotten how small it was compared to Joseph's, and how... unfurnished it was as well. She was either an unknowing minimalist, or... she just never actually got around to furnishing the place. She had gotten too scared, or too paranoid that the dream of it all would end before she could really get invested in it.

But Kidman stopped halfway towards her dresser as she noticed something out of place.

...

There was an envelope sitting on her neatly-made bed, which she knew for a fact that she didn't do herself.

...

Part of her wanted to run, wanted to just grab her passport and pretend she never saw the envelope.

But she knew she couldn't.

She had been expecting a phone call, a message of some sort... she supposed she just never anticipated it being a letter.

Everything inside of her felt like it was turning over, knitting knots inside of her stomach.

Swallowing with some difficulty, Kidman walked over and plucked the envelope from her bed- absentmindedly tossing her jacket aside. It felt like a brick in her hands as she continued to stare at the unmarked envelope, almost trying to convince herself that it could've come from someone else. But there was no one else who could get into this place, no one else who would care enough to leave a message behind.

...

She had been dreading this day; she knew it was coming, but she just... she had hoped she would've had a little more time before it did.

Then again, nearly two months later... maybe that was enough of a wait for Mobius.

Kidman knew what she was getting herself into from the start; she knew that she would just end up hurting everyone in the end. So there was no point in her delaying the inevitable; she had this coming.

The envelope wasn't even sealed, which only made it easier for her to pull out the folded letter tucked away inside.

And there was only one thing to read on the neatly, printed letter:

'TERMINATED'

...

That was it- that was all it said...

Her hands were shaking as she read the word over and over again, hearing herself say it out loud once or twice. She wasn't sure if she could truly believe it or not, or if this was just some kind of sick prank orchestrated by Mobius. They didn't leave behind loose ends, and she was, by all accounts, a loose end.

But maybe... just for now, they were letting her go.

Kidman didn't even pick her jacket back up, she forgot about her passport completely, as she hurried out of the apartment- barely locking it behind her.

Her legs were shaking hard enough she was certain that she was going to fall down the stairs instead- but by some miracle, she managed to make it back to the car without incident. She managed to make it back to the car without breathing it felt; her chest was in a tight knot, and she could almost hear the deep, shuddering breaths she did take.

"I thought you were getting your jacket and passport-" Joseph started, stopping when he seemed to notice her shaking. "Juli?"

She didn't know where it came from, but... somehow she heard herself start laughing.

Quiet, broken sounds of relief.

"Just... take me home, Joseph."