Heaps of gratitude for the continuing support, friends. Seeing your reviews always makes me smile!

This one is tagged to the tension-filled season 7 episode "Proof".

Happy reading =)

"It is more disgraceful to distrust than to be deceived by our friends." - François de La Rochefoucauld

"Spence," JJ says, tears in her eyes and a crestfallen expression on her face. "I'm sorry."

Her words come out in a tone of despair, but my feelings of betrayal overpower the rest of the emotions swirling around and I find myself walking away as I tell her, "It's too late, all right?"

I walk quickly toward the exit, averting my eyes and refusing to meet any of their gazes. I hear Emily call after me and my heart clenches painfully at her voice but I don't stop. I'd missed hearing it. Seven months I'd spent without her. I'd lost a dear friend and colleague, and the woman who'd grown to be something of a protective older sister to me. I'd turned to JJ for support and she'd given it willingly, opening her home, and her arms. But to hear that she'd spent those weeks and months lying to us? To me? I can't let that go. It was a betrayal, plain and simple.

I hear the clicking of heels behind me and expect to find JJ following me, but instead I find the dark brown eyes of Emily staring at me. Her expression is…broken and confused and maybe a little bit angry, and it's slightly disarming. Here was proof that the woman who I thought I'd lost for good was in fact alive.

"Reid?" she says tentatively.

"What?" I snap, crossing my arms over my chest and assuming a typical defensive stance.

"You need to go back in there," she says firmly, standing strong against my snarky response.

"Why? Why do I need to go back in there?"

"Well first, we're still working a case and that trumps any personal issues you might be having with any of us."

"Right, because you're the expert on dedicating yourself to cases when personal issues arise," I say coldly. "I seem to recall you disappearing on us the last time a case got personal for you."

She blinks in surprise but her eyes harden immediately. "No," she says with a shake of her head. "No, you don't get to do that."

"Why not?" I demand.

"Because I ran to protect you. And Hotch. And Garcia. And Rossi. And Seaver. And Morgan." She emphasizes each name. "I ran to make sure that none of you or your families would be harmed."

"You didn't have to. We could've taken care of ourselves."

"No," she says, shaking her head. "You couldn't have."

"I'm glad you have so much faith in us."

"Don't twist my words, Reid. You know how ruthless Doyle was. He would have killed every last one of you," she says. I open my mouth to shoot back a retort but she cuts me off. "He had you all followed. Did you know that?"

I blink in surprise. I hadn't known that.

"Yeah, I didn't think so. When I sat across from him, and he told me he was going to kill me, he made sure I knew I couldn't involve any of you. He knew exactly where you were, and had guys following you that could have taken you out in a second. Me not telling you guys and going after him was the only way to save you."

"Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped."

"Are you not listening to me, Reid? He was going to kill you," she says, emphasizing the last words.

"We've gone up against unsubs before," I reply.

"Ian Doyle wasn't an unsub, just like Foyet wasn't an unsub," she explains. "It was personal for him in the worst way, so he was far more than just an unsub."

"Yeah, I'll say it was personal. He was your former lover," I say cruelly. I know the words are hurtful, and I know, on some level, that she doesn't deserve them, but I can't help it. Betrayal stings deeply.

Her eyes widen slightly at my words and I feel the tiniest amount of guilt. "He was a target for an op, and I did what I had to do to get the intel, but I was doing my job."

"Yeah, I'd say you did it pretty well. We found the ring, Emily. That's not something you keep around unless it means something to you. So tell me, did you love him? Did you hold onto that ring for all these years because a part of you couldn't let it go?" I can see my words are hitting her hard, each one like a bullet to her already fractured shield, but I keep going. "Were you going to marry him and raise Declan as your own?"

Her breathing is a bit shaky and her eyes convey the turmoil and pain that she's feeling.

"We would've risked our lives for you, Emily. With the information you had about him, we could have dealt with him for good. So why didn't you tell us? We're some of the best profilers in the world and you keep us out of the loop? Why?"

She seems to be shocked beyond words. She just blinks, her eyes looking decidedly sadder with each word. "He was going to kill you," she says weakly. I blink in surprise at her tone. I've never heard her sound so defeated before.

"Yeah, you mentioned that," I say dismissively.

"I was bound by my oath," she offers.

"How convenient."

She seems to perk up a bit at my barb. "It was classified information, I wasn't allowed to divulge any of it. The CIA and Interpol aren't exactly keen on former employees running their mouths about classified operations."

"It was your family that you shut out. We would've helped you. We wouldn't have judged you. We deserved the truth."

"We all have our secrets, Reid," she says with a sigh.

"Yeah, but this one you shouldn't have gotten to keep."

"Why not?"

"Because this one involved us."

"And your drug addiction didn't?" she spits back. I glare in response but don't speak. She exhales slowly. "Reid, you need to apologize to JJ. You can stay mad at me all you want, but what she did was for me. She did it to save my life and you don't get to judge her for that."

"She lied to me for months. She let me break down week after week about losing my friend and didn't say anything."

"She couldn't," Emily says in exasperation.

"Yes, she could have," I say stubbornly.

"No, she couldn't," she repeats. "If Doyle had gotten even a hint that I was still alive, he'd have slaughtered you all one by one to get me to come out of hiding."

I frown at her choice of words. Slaughtered?

"I know what you're thinking, Reid, and my choice of words there was not incidental. He wouldn't have just executed you. He would've done horrible things to you, gone after your loved ones, tortured you, and made damn sure that I was aware of every bit of it."

I just glare in response.

"Would you have been willing to risk the life of Jack? Your mom? And what about Morgan's mom and sisters? The situation's not as black and white as you're making it out to be. It was a hell of a lot more complicated than JJ just keeping a secret, and you know it."

"I refuse to believe that we couldn't have figured out a way to protect you and everyone else," I say stubbornly. "We would have found a way."

Emily lets out a frustrated sigh and clenches her fists tightly. "Reid, we're going in circles. We have an unsub to catch, so can you please just put aside your issues with me and with JJ until we catch this guy?"

"Fine," I spit with a glare.

She closes her eyes and lets out a heavy exhale. "Okay. Now let's get back in there," she says and heads back inside. As I watch her walk away my mind begins to recall all the time I'd spent with JJ grieving over Emily's death. I realize that in every instance, there wasn't a hint of deception. JJ had used her comforting and innocent nature to fool me into believing her words. Feelings of disgust overwhelm me when I realize that all too often we see the same behaviour in the unsubs we chase. Suddenly it occurs to me that maybe this unsub is doing just that. Maybe he's playing up the disability we'd profiled he had to appear harmless and non-threatening. But a physical disability would probably still make women wary…so maybe it's a mental disability of some kind. That would allow him to draw the women in without scaring them off first.

With one last deep breath I head back inside to share my theory with the team. While the case may be first and foremost in my mind, the hurt and feelings of betrayal and reminders of JJ's deception still linger, reminding me that while we may have gotten Emily back, it came at a high cost.

If you have the chance - I'd love to hear your thoughts and impressions, even if it's just a few words. I love getting feedback.