When I got back to the bayou, I got some paper from Eve and locked myself in my cabin to do some thinking. The first thing I needed to know was a rough estimation of how far gone I was, or at least when this child was likely to arrive. I mentally back tracked in my heads, working out dates. I estimated that the child was due between the 21st of July and the 11th of August, if it was on time and depending on who the father was. Okay, that gave me a deadline. I just… didn't know how long I had. I had been so out of it, it was taking me a while to adjust to being alive once again. Things were sinking in, slowly, and with each new revelation I'd realised how much I'd lost. I knew I needed to find a doctor, start taking pills or whatever you were supposed to do when pregnant (being in a coma that lasted several months and being regularly injected with sedatives probably wasn't on the approved list).

I got my phone out my pocket and went to the calendar. It told me that it was February 17th, which mean it was between eighteen or twenty three-ish weeks gone. February… Mikael had taken me in mid-October. I'd lost so much time. It was far worse than I'd thought.

Jeremy.

I was dialling his number without really realising what I was doing. I was about to hit the call button when I froze. Should I do this? Maybe he was happy. He didn't know what had happened… I didn't want to worry him. Damon had taken him away, he probably didn't even know I'd left Mystic Falls.

No, someone would have told him. And I had to talk to him. If he'd disappeared for months on end without a word, I'd want to know he was okay. Like when Stefan disappeared, I knew how much it had hurt to be left just not knowing what was going on and if I'd ever see him again.

I hit the call button before I could lose my nerve. It rang a few times and I almost ended the call as it did, still uncertain if this was the best option. The call connected before I could change my mind again and I heard breathing at the other end.

"J… Jeremy?" My voice trembled. I wasn't sure why. Maybe because it had been so long since I'd heard the voice of someone I cared about, and I was just afraid of being rejected and losing this one connection.

"Elena?" He sounded shocked like he couldn't really believe it was me. At the sound of his voice, I broke. I let out a small noise that was a mixture of a gasp and a cry, a warm smile spreading across my face. It felt so good to smile again, a proper smile of actual happiness. I hadn't done it in so long.

"Jeremy!"

"Oh god Elena, you're okay? I've been so worried!"

"I'm… I'm okay." It was the easiest way to go. I didn't want to worry him.

"You don't sound okay…"

"I was just worried about you. Damon got you out of town, did you go back yet?"

"No, I'm still out of town… but what happened to you? Bonnie said you just vanished! The original vampires disappeared. Stefan didn't know what happened. People think you're dead."

"Did you?"

"No. If you were dead, I figured I would have seen you." He paused. I could hear the hurt in his voice and I felt tears in my eyes as I thought about what I must have put him through. "Are you going to tell me what happened? Or is this just going to be one of those… Elena things that we're not supposed to worry about?" I hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him. I'd spent so long trying to protect him but I knew that if I tried to do that without a reason, I'd end up driving him away.

"I'll tell you the truth. But… there are things that you can't tell the others yet. Okay?"

"Okay…"

"I assume Damon told you why I needed you to get out?"

"Yeah… something about an evil mega vampire?"

"Klaus' father. And yeah. So they all ran to get away from him. And they took me with them. He followed. He took me hostage as bait. There was a big fight."

"Elena, you disappeared from town in October. That covers why you disappeared but not while you've been missing so long. "

"Yeah, I know. I'm getting to it. After the fight I was in a coma. I only woke up yesterday. And I only got my phone today."

"Oh shit. So you're in hospital?"

"No… a weird wolf pack in New Orleans found me and they've been taking care of me. I'm still with them at the moment."

"I can come and pick you up?"

"That sounds amazing Jeremy and I'd like nothing better…"

"But…?"

"But there's some other things that are complicating it at the moment. And this isn't a life or death thing, I'm not just trying to protect you…"

"What is it?"

"I'm pregnant." There was silence on the end of the phone.

"Who…?" I winced slightly. I'd known that he would ask the question but I had wished he wouldn't. I just crossed my fingers, hoping that he wouldn't hate me for what I was going to say.

"I'm not sure. But it's one of the original vampires."

"Fuck."

"But they're gone. I can't find them. I think they might be dead…" He was silent. He probably didn't know what to say. I mean he only really knew about Elijah and Klaus and his impressions of them were far from positive. It was a difficult situation for him. Did he comfort me? Did he celebrate?

"I'm sorry this is happening to you Elena. Please… please come home?"

"I will. Just not yet. I need some time. Please don't tell anyone?" I was sure he could hear my desperation, my fear.

"I won't, I promise." I heard the sound of a door in the background and a loud voice. "Damon's home."

"He's still with you?"

"Yes. He said he made a promise and he intended to stick to it." I couldn't help smiling. "I'll tell the others that you're alive. If you need me, just call and I'll be right there."

"Thanks Jer… when did you become so grown up, huh?"

"Well I have to. I'm going to be an uncle." He was trying to lighten the mood but there was a strain to it. I smiled sadly.

"I'll talk to you soon. Love you Jeremy."

"Love you too Elena." I hung up. At least he was okay. He was still there, unlike everyone else.

I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. I tried to fight the feelings rising inside of me but eventually I couldn't hold them in. I let my tears flow thick and fast, the sobs raked my body. I felt so alone. As I'd spoken to Jeremy it was though the strings that attached me to the people I knew and cared for had been cut with no hope of ever reattaching them.

I cried for everything I'd lost. For my friends, my family. For Kol, Rebekah, Elijah, Finn… even Klaus. I cried for the lives that had ended because of my existence and for the child inside of me who would no doubt be subjected to the same endless cycle of horror.

I cried until I had no more tears and then I lay there, letting out awkward choked half sobs. My eyes burned, my head hurt and the pain in my stomach was back. I curled into a ball, wrapping my arms around me. I hummed softly to myself, letting the sound soothe me. I burrowed my face into the pillow. I knew I needed to take action but now wasn't the time for that. Now was the time to grieve and purge myself of the negative emotions that I harboured deep inside myself. Once that was done, I would be able to find peace and move on (I hoped). For now I was content to lurk in my little nest of misery.

I stayed in my bed for far longer than I had intended, letting myself wallow in everything that had been building up inside me. I knew that sometimes it was what you needed, to just let go. After my parents had died I hadn't cried at first, I'd just been numb and bitter. It was only once the tears started flowing that I'd finally been able to move on.

Eve knocked a few times over the days that followed, bringing food, each time more concerned about my wellbeing. Each time I kept my conversation minimal and monosyllabic, barely looking at her until she went away. I needed to do this alone. Take this time to work this through before I could face the world once again. I ate the food without really tasting it. I moved when I had to but mostly I just lay there, staring at the wall, at the ceiling, at the Mikaelsons' numbers programmed into my phone.

Every minute that went past things seemed a little easier to cope with. The pain was still there and it still hurt but it was easier to bear. I stared up at the ceiling, reluctant to move as everything sunk in. I'd been so focused on trying to find the siblings since I'd woken up that I'd not taken any time to really think past that, not really. I'd considered what I might do very briefly but it was an abstract idea rather than a fully formed thought. Now I had no choice but to face it all head on. The Mikaelson's were dead. Or gone. Either way, they weren't a part of my life anymore. As Marcel had said, Klaus had a way of abandoning people when he no longer needed them. While I didn't want to think that I had been discarded, at least then they still existed in some way. For some reason it was easier to think of them as abandoning me than it was to think that they had died. And it made sense too. If they'd died, hadn't Mikael said that their sire line went with them? Marcel was still alive. Damon was alive.

Realising this, the idea that I had been abandoned suddenly became a lot harder to handle. Before it had just been the lesser of two evils, a more pleasant alternative to their demise. Now I knew it was my fault that they were gone and they weren't coming back. Klaus and Elijah had found me easily enough when they needed to. If they wanted me, they would come. They just… they didn't want me.

Everything had been a lie. This had all just been some sick joke for them. Like Kol messing with my head for his own amusement or Klaus forcing me to drink blood. They'd just wanted to see how far they could take it. Silly me, I'd fallen for it. I should have known better than to trust them.

I had to face this reality. And that made it easier somehow. I wasn't going to waste my time crying over people who didn't want me. I wiped my eyes to remove any last signs of tears and made a resolution to myself. I needed to be strong. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't be afraid. I wouldn't let myself get hurt again. I would do what needed to be done no matter how hard it might be.

I would never let anyone take away my choices. I would never let myself be weak. I was going to protect my child. Which meant I had to make sure I had a way to do that. I knew that however much peace I found in the bayou it wasn't the best place for a child. There was relative safety here, at least for the time being but werewolves were notoriously unpredictable. And they hated vampires. Even if the child had some werewolf blood in it, would that be enough?

No. This child was one of the vampires. And while all I wanted was to hide myself away in this remote little corner of Louisiana, I knew that I wasn't strong enough to protect it alone.

I picked up my phone once more and dialled. I got voicemail so I left a message. Then I got up and headed outside. Eve was sitting by the water and she looked up as I approached. She smiled at first and then her expression changed as she seemed to register the change in me.

"You're leaving aren't you?"

"I have to."

"You don't Elena, you can stay here."

"A vampire doesn't belong with werewolves."

"But you're not a vampire…"

"But this child is. At least partly. And I know that werewolves aren't monsters like some people believe. Just like not all vampires are. But I know how they feel about one another. And I don't want to bring a child into the world that is part vampire just for it to get killed by werewolves."

She nodded slowly, understanding my point. She looked sad, but resigned.

"You could at least stay until the full moon? We might be able to help you find your friends."

"They're not my friends. I don't think they ever were. But I can come back and visit?"

"I'd like that… if you need me, I'm here." She smiled sadly. "I didn't think you could get attached to someone that you mainly know as being comatose." I laughed softly.

"I'll see you again." She hesitated.

"I want to give you something before I go." She disappeared behind one of the buildings and returned with a small leather bound book. "I keep a journal. It helps with being alone. Maybe it will help you with your problems too."

"Thank you Eve."

I gathered up my few possessions in a bag that Eve generously donated. There wasn't much, just the few clothes that Eve had given me and the new journal. I got changed and as I was doing so, my hand faltered on my throat. I was still wearing the Mikaelson necklace, the one that Elijah had given me the night of their ball. I took it off and held it in my hand, looking at the black stone pendant and the coat of arms. I felt tears sting my eyes, threatening to erupt again.

No.

I wrapped the necklace in a piece of cloth and tucked it into the bottom of the bag. And with it, I sealed my vow and buried my heart where it wouldn't be hurt again.

Then I took my bag and left the cabin, the bayou and the serenity it had offered me.

A/N: I did plan to have Elena stay in the bayou for a bit longer but then there's only so much I can do with just her and Eve out there and I really didn't want to write endless chapters of Elena sulking in a swamp.