Thanks for the comments on the last chapter. In keeping with the father-son pattern I have going...here's another Jack one. Many thanks to Shadpup for the encouragement on this one.
Happy reading =)
"I don't care if it's a sad good-bye or a bad good-bye, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't you feel even worse." – J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
"Okay, buddy, you ready to go?"
I don't respond and instead play a little with my shirt collar, trying to make it lie flat.
"Jack?" Dad calls as he appears in the doorway.
I look away from the mirror in front of me and look up at Dad. "Yeah?"
"I asked if you were ready to go."
"Yeah," I say. "Let's go."
"Okay then, let's get going or we'll be late."
I hop down from the stool and follow Dad to the door where I get my shoes and coat on. We close the door behind us, and Dad lets me check and make sure it's really locked, just like always. He helps me up and into my seat in the car and lets me buckle myself, but checks them over, making sure I'm safe.
I watch the buildings and trees fly by as I stare out the window, wondering how the night is gonna go. We're headed over to Aunt JJ's house for dinner. Apparently there's a surprise for me there…but I'm not really sure why. It's not my birthday yet, and Christmas isn't for a long time. Dad hasn't been away for work at all this last week, so it's not because he's been away a lot. Oh well. Surprises are usually good, so it can't be bad, I guess.
"Hi, Aunt JJ," I mumble as the door swings open.
"Hi, Jack," she says with a smile, gesturing for me and Dad to come in. "I'm glad you and your Dad could come."
"Yeah," I say, partially distracted by the large blocks scattered around the room just to the right of the door.
"Dinner's not quite ready yet…" she apologizes, her eyes moving from me to Dad.
"That's okay, need any help?" Dad replies.
"Actually, that would be great if you don't mind. There was a slight change in plans and I lost my kitchen staff."
I frown. "You have a kitchen staff?"
She laughs. "Only when your Uncle Will is in there," she answers with a wink.
"Oh," I say with a smile, getting what she means. "Well where'd you lose him?"
This time I hear both her and Dad laugh and I look between them with a confused look on my face.
"Sorry, Jack," Aunt JJ apologizes. "He had to start to get ready for work since he got called in a few minutes ago."
"Oh," I say in realization. So she didn't actually lose him. "Okay."
"Henry's in there somewhere," Aunt JJ says, pointing toward the room with the blocks. "Why don't you join him while your Dad and I keep working on dinner?"
"Okay," I say with a shrug, kicking off my shoes and handing my jacket to my Dad before heading into the room, and beginning to hunt for Henry.
"Hey Jack," I hear Uncle Will say as he comes down the stairs. "How ya doin'?"
"Good," I answer. "How are you?" I ask politely.
"Be a lot better if I was stayin' with you for dinner, I'll tell ya that."
"You go to work?" Henry asks sadly, popping up in the middle of a partially built castle…or building of some kind.
"Yeah, buddy. Sorry. But you eat your whole dinner and then a little for me too, okay?"
"Okay!" Henry answers happily.
"Good stuff, little man. You be good for your momma, all right?"
"Yeah," Henry says with a nod. "I love you!" he adds as he scrambles to get to his dad, knocking over his castle…or fort…or building…or whatever it is.
"I love you too, buddy," Uncle Will says, giving Henry a quick hug. "Now you better go rebuild your fort. I bet Jack will help you out."
Henry turns to me, his eyes looking hopeful. "Yeah, I'll help you," I say with a smile.
We head back over to the pile of now collapsed blocks and I start to explain my ideas, happy that Henry just seems to want to do whatever I want to do. We start to build up the blocks around us, making sure that there is a good enough amount on the bottom so that it doesn't collapse on us.
"Say hello from me, okay?" I hear Uncle Will say to Aunt JJ as she comes to the door to say goodbye to him.
"Of course. Be safe, Will."
"Always am. I'll text you when I have an idea of when I'll be getting back home."
"Yeah, okay," she says before giving him a quick kiss and opening the door for him.
"Looks like I can say hello myself," I hear Uncle Will say from the front porch. "You sure are a sight for sore eyes."
I frown as I strain to hear who Uncle Will is talking to, but I can't quite make anything out. Whoever he's talking to isn't talking, or isn't talking loudly.
"Wish I could stay, but I'm headed into work. You have a good night, all right?"
I listen carefully for an answer but don't hear one. Instead, I hear a car door slam, followed by the clicking of high heel shoes on the ground, and then Aunt JJ saying, "Hey. Come on in."
I sit up a little taller and lean over a bit to look around the blocks, trying to sneak a peek at who the heck is at the door.
"Henry! Jack! Can you come here real quick? That surprise we've been talking about is here," Aunt JJ calls out.
We both get up and make our way toward her, stepping carefully over random blocks, and making sure to avoid the pieces of Lego scattered on the floor. When we reach the entrance to the room I feel my eyes widen as I see who's at the door. Aunt Emily?
"Emmy!" Henry yells loudly, throwing himself at our "surprise". "Missed-ed you!"
"Hi, Henry," she says softly, losing her balance slightly as he wraps his arms around her legs. "I missed you too, mon petit."
I blink several times, trying to figure out if this is some kind of weird dream. I don't think it is…everything seems too real to just be a dream. But she disappeared a long time ago… She can't be back…can she?
"Hi, Jack," she says quietly, her eyes meeting mine.
I glare at her for a moment before turning away quickly and heading back into the room toward the fort Henry and I had begun building.
"Jack," I hear Dad call out firmly. He sounds angry. "Come back here."
"Hotch, it's okay," Aunt Emily says quietly.
"No, Emily. It's not. Jack, I mean it. Here. Now."
I get up reluctantly and drag my feet as I make my way back to the front door.
"I think you owe Emily an apology."
"No," I say, my angry glare turning toward Dad.
"Jack," he warns, staring at me with his "I'm disappointed in you" face.
"Why do I have to say sorry?"
"Because you were rude."
"She was rude first," I say back quickly.
Dad's eyebrows jump up for a second and then they scrunch back down and he looks at me with the look that means he's thinking real hard about me. "How?"
"She just left."
"She had to, Jack. For work. We talked about this."
"She didn't say goodbye," I say stubbornly. It was true. She just disappeared. I thought we were friends, and that she cared about me, but I guess she didn't, because she just left. Even Mommy had told me she loved me before she died. And Dad always makes sure to tell me he loves me before he goes to work. When Mrs. Harper babysits me instead of Aunt Jessica, she says goodbye when Dad gets home and she leaves. Why didn't Aunt Emily at least say goodbye before she left?
"Jack," Dad starts to say, but I interrupt him.
"I'm not saying sorry to her, and I'm not eating dinner with her either."
I see Aunt Emily's face shift from surprise to sadness, and I feel a little bit bad for how mean I'm being. But I quickly remind myself that she was mean to me first.
"Jack-" Dad starts again, but Aunt Emily interrupts him.
"Hotch, he's got every right to be angry. It's okay," she says, and I can tell she's really sad from the way her voice sounds, and the way her eyes look. They look kind of the same as Dad's did after Mommy died.
"Emily, you don't deserve-"
"Nothing he's said isn't true. I…I can go if that's easier. I think maybe I should."
"Don't be silly," Aunt JJ says, her expression a little bit sad too. "You're here now, I'm nearly finished dinner, and there is a certain new attachment to your legs that I think you might have a hard time getting rid of…" she finishes, looking directly at Henry, who still has his arms wound tightly around her legs.
"She's right, Emily. Stay," Dad adds.
Aunt Emily seems to think for a moment before she nods once and then begins to take off her jacket. I huff in frustration and then stomp away while pouting that I didn't get my way. Some surprise that was! More crummy than anything.
"Hotch, give me a hand in the kitchen, and let's leave Emily with these two trouble makers."
Dad pauses and looks at me and Emily with a worried expression.
"Hotch," Aunt JJ repeats, trying to convince him it's okay to leave us alone. And it is…I'm not planning on talking to her, or even looking at her. She deserves it. If she wasn't going to be nice enough to say goodbye to me, then why should I be nice to her?
"Yeah, okay," Dad says as he follows Aunt JJ into the kitchen.
"You got so much bigger, Henry," Aunt Emily says with a smile. But not the kind that makes her eyes twinkle, or her face wrinkle.
"I growed!"
She laughs a little, but it doesn't sound real. "Yes, you did."
"You stay?" Henry asks as he tugs on her hand and holds his arms up, asking to be picked up.
"Yes, mon petit, I'm staying," she answers after picking him up.
"Play wif me?"
"Sure. What are you playing?"
"Me and Henry are making a fort," I answer for him, emphasizing our names. "And we don't need your help."
Henry frowns for a second, probably not understanding why I'm angry. But he's too little. He doesn't get that she was mean and didn't say goodbye.
"You're right, Jack. Looks like you don't need any of my help. I'll just sit here and watch. How's that?"
I glare at her and turn back to the partially completed fort. "Come on, Henry," I say, gesturing for him to join me.
He frowns again and bites his lip as he thinks hard about his options. After a moment he makes his decision and buries his face in Aunt Emily's shirt, hugging her more tightly.
"It's okay, Henry. You go play with Jack. I'll be right here," Aunt Emily says, putting Henry down and pushing him gently toward me.
He begins to walk slowly and very unsurely toward the fort, glancing back at her every couple of steps. Probably to make sure she's still there. She is the kind of person who just disappears, after all.
Henry and I continue to build our fort, and Emily stays quiet, just like she said she would. I can't help but glance over every couple minutes, my curiosity getting the better of me. Every time I look over, she meets my gaze for a second and offers a small smile. I always make sure to focus back onto the blocks when that happens.
"Thanks for dinner, JJ. It was great to have some home-cooked food," Aunt Emily says with a polite smile.
"I bet. Pastries are only appetizing for so long, I imagine," Aunt JJ replies with a smile of her own.
"Something like that, yeah."
"Did you finish your plate, Henry?"
"Yes, momma. I eated some for Daddy too," Henry answers proudly.
"Good job, buddy."
"Jack, how'd you do?" Aunt JJ asks, swinging her gaze to me.
"I finished everything, thank you," I answer politely. "It was very good."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"Can we go home now, Dad?"
"Jack," Dad scolds.
"What? I don't wanna stay here with her."
Aunt Emily winces at my words, but begins to speak quickly. "I should be going, anyway. Lots of paperwork to sort out, given my…um…situation."
"Emily," Dad says sadly. "Please don't let-"
"Hotch, it's okay. I'm just interrupting a nice evening for you."
"Em, please don't go," Aunt JJ says, reaching a hand out toward Aunt Emily.
"No go!" Henry echoes.
"Jack, let's go into the living room. You and I need to have a chat," Dad says, looking at me with the expression I've only seen once before. I gulp remembering how angry he was the last time he had that look on his face. "Now."
I push my chair back and climb down, following Dad into the living room.
Dad takes a deep breath and lets it out quickly. "Jack, you need to apologize to your Aunt Emily."
"Why?" I demand. I don't see why I have to – I haven't done anything wrong. She's the one who should apologize.
"Because you've been incredibly rude to her all night. She's been gracious and accepted it, but she doesn't deserve any of this."
"SHE LEFT!" I yell, my frustration that Dad doesn't seem to understand this finally bubbling over. "SHE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE. SHE JUST LEFT!"
"I know, Jack. But I promise that she couldn't. She didn't get to say goodbye to me either."
I blink in surprise at this piece of information. She didn't say goodbye to Dad? But he's like her family…and families always say goodbye.
"Why not?" I ask shyly, my pout having disappeared.
Dad squats down so he's level with me. "She had to leave right away, and couldn't even go home to get any of her stuff to take with her."
My eyes widen in further surprise. "She didn't?"
Dad shakes his head sadly. "No."
"Oh," I say, now feeling bad.
"Is that why she didn't tell me goodbye?"
"She didn't know the last time she saw you was going to be the last time, buddy."
I look down at the floor, feeling ashamed of my behaviour. I think maybe I knew deep down that Aunt Emily wouldn't just leave. She always, always took the time to talk to me, and ask me questions. Why would you do all that if you were just going to leave without saying goodbye?
"Hotch."
I look up and find Aunt Emily standing in the doorway. She walks slowly over to me and kneels in front of me. I look back down at the floor, and try not to cry. I feel so bad for everything I said. I suddenly remember the look on her face when I said those horrible things, and I feel the tears start to fall.
"Jack," she says quietly. "It's okay."
"I'm sorry," I say through my tears and sniffles. "I didn't mean it. I missed you, I promise."
"I know, Jack. I know."
"I didn't even read anything else with Dad while you were gone," I sniffle.
"C'mere," she says, opening up her arms. I step forward tentatively and pause for a moment before wrapping my arms around her tightly.
"I'm sorry," I mumble as I press my face into her hair.
"Shh, it's okay, Jack. I know." She holds me for a little longer before letting me go, and giving me a small smile. "Feel better?"
"A little," I say with a nod. I still feel horrible about what I'd said.
"Good. Can you look at me?" she asks, tipping my chin up with her hand. I blink and meet her gaze. "You had every right to be frustrated with me, Jack. I did disappear on you, and I didn't say goodbye, and I was gone for a long time. And I'm sorry for that."
"But Dad said you-"
She shakes her head. "Doesn't matter. I'm still sorry that you thought I'd just left you. I would never do that buddy. Who else am I going to read Lord of the Rings with?"
I feel a few more tears fall down my face.
"Don't feel bad about how you felt, Jack."
"But I was so mean to you."
"Yes, but that's okay, I forgive you."
"You do?"
"Yep. And I don't want to spend another second with you feeling bad about it, so just forget it, mister."
"Okay," I say with a small nod and throw my arms around her in a tight hug again.
"I missed you too, you know."
"You did?"
"Of course. I missed all of my friends."
"Aunt Em'ly," I say shyly, whispering into her ear.
"Yeah?" she whispers back.
"Do you have to go away again?"
"I certainly hope not," she answers. "And if it ever comes up that I have to, I promise I will do everything in my power to say goodbye first."
I nod and squeeze her that little bit tighter. I'd missed her terribly when she was away, and I'm so glad she's back. I promise myself that I'll never doubt her again – she's never been anything but nice to me, and I have no reason to be angry with her, or say mean things about her. She's always been a good friend to me, and I want to be a good friend to her.
Did we cringe at young Jack's angst and confusion? Was it a little heart-breaking? How about how they made up? Do let me know if you have the chance - I love hearing your thoughts!
Still working hard on more conversations, so more to come...