RED Team Base - Badlands, New Mexico, USA. Sunday, April 1st, 1973.

A few hours after the emergency meeting, several unmarked boxes arrived at the base. Miss Pauling pried the lid off of one, peeked inside, and immediately went to Medic's Lab.

She poked her head through the door. "Hey, Medic? Some packages arrived for you."

His trademark evil grin danced across his lips. "Ooh, the cadavers are here? Wunderbar!"

"Yep. They're over in the shipping bay. You… might want to get them before the heat makes them smell."

"Danke, Miss Pauling!" Like a child in a toy store, he sped out of the room. She shook her head and went to find Scout to train with.

Meanwhile, Medic zipped around the base, checking everywhere he could think of until he finally found Heavy in his room, lounging on his bed reading a book.

"They're here!"

Heavy sat up, his eyebrow raised. "What is?"

"The cadavers and the Medi Gun fluid!" He laughed. "They will be so much fun to experiment on. More blank canvases for my work! Care to help me?"

He frowned. "I stay here. You have… fun," he mumbled, hiding behind his book once more.

"I will!" As suddenly as he came, he was gone. He dragged the boxes to his lab, wishing Heavy would have offered to help carry them. While he was capable of moving them on his own, Medic knew it would have been much quicker and easier with the help. Normally, Heavy was quick to offer his assistance for a variety of things, yet he seemed to be the opposite without any explanation. Maybe he wasn't feeling well. He told himself he'd give him a check-up once he and Engineer were finished with their preparations. The last thing they needed was someone to be sick before a big fight.

RED Team Base - Badlands, New Mexico, USA. Wednesday, April 4th, 1973.

Three days had passed since Spy warned the team of the impending attack, yet there were still no signs of danger. Engineer and Medic were thankful for the extra time, as they locked themselves in their labs and worked day and night to come up with a solution. For the past two nights, both men were found asleep at their desks with several empty coffee mugs beside them and surrounded by nearly illegible plans and notes. No one dared to wake them, knowing they needed every wink of sleep they could get for how hard they were working.

It was only that morning, three days after the threat was announced, that Medic threw open the doors to the common room, laughing maniacally. His Medi Gun was strapped to his back and he was juggling the gun itself in his arms with a crumpled pile of papers. "I've done it!" Medic had dark bags under his eyes and his hand was shaking slightly, likely from excessive caffeine intake.

"What have you done?" Sniper asked.

"I've upgraded the shield! It now works twice as long and I can use it on other people now. We even equipped Engineer's sentries with them!"

Engineer walked in next, carrying one of the respawn modules they used during the original robot attacks. "Turns out it don't need the Medi Gun to run," Engineer explained. "With a bit of Medi Gun juice, it runs like a dream." Patting the device in his arms, he added, "We also tinkered with these lil' contraptions." He held it up to show them; it looked no different from before." They should last a little longer now before respawn takes over. I figured out how to get the damn thing running, so there's no need to worry about dyin' this time."

"Do you have anything else prepared?" Spy asked.

"Hate to say it, but we've got nothing," Engineer said. "Best thing would be to keep them away from the base if we can help it."

"Sniper, you're on lookout," Miss Pauling said. "If you see anything, pull the briefcase alarm."

"I'm on it," Sniper responded, giving a curt nod before leaving.

"And you guys should get some sleep; you've both worked hard."

Engineer yawned, stretching his arms behind him. "You don't need to be askin' me twice."

"Ja, a nap would be nice."

Both men hauled their gear back out of the room, parting ways to drop them off in their respective workspaces before collapsing onto their beds.

That afternoon, the buzzer sounded through the base and the red lights flashed in the halls and work areas. Knowing what it meant, no one hesitated to grab their weapons and ammunition and rush out of the base.

Outside, silhouettes of an army organized in perfect lines advanced toward them. Taller, stronger robots could be seen at the back, rattling as their motors hummed away and carried them closer. Every single one of them had a bomb strapped to their back.

"Aw, geez! They've got a freakin' army!" Scout complained, lightly bouncing from foot to foot. It seemed as though he'd burst if he stopped moving for even a second.

"Whatever y'all do, keep them away from the base," Engineer instructed them as he began to set up his sentry gun. "Respawn's activated."

Soldier stuffed a rocket into the launcher, keeping his shovel at fingertip access. "Ready to fight, maggots?" At some point when they weren't paying attention, he had stripped himself and was now proudly standing in his naked glory. Heavy felt like he was going to be sick when he saw that Zhanna had immediately followed suit. Then she slathered the two of them in honey.

Medic's Medi Gun crackled with red static as the little orange 'Übercharge Ready' light flickered on, signalling that it was ready to be activated at any moment. "Ready!"

"Give 'em hell, boys!" Soldier launched himself into the air, flinging himself right to the front. Zhanna grabbed a grenade from her bandolier and charged forward to back him up.

Running after them, Medic yelled, "Schweinhund! I haven't overhealed you yet!"

"I'm coming, Doctor!" Heavy said, jogging to keep up yet he quickly fell behind. Undeterred by this, he diligently followed his doctor and tried his hardest to move as fast as his legs would carry him.

Scout nodded to Miss Pauling, cocked his scattergun, and flew past Heavy. Miss Pauling ran only a bit slower than him. Already it seemed as though they made a great pair in battle, much like Soldier with Zhanna or Heavy with Medic.

The rest of the team followed after them, save for Sniper, who remained at his vantage point. Engineer stuck closer to the back to find a good spot for his sentry gun.

At the front, Soldier launched rocket after rocket into the masses of robots, sending bits of warped metal in all directions from the blast and knocking others over from the force of the explosion. Zhanna would take over while he reloaded by hurling a grenade or two into the masses. They didn't have even a moment to recover from the last explosive round before another fell nearby. If one came too close, Zhanna would punch it with her mechanical hand, sending the head flying several meters.

"Good work, honey!" A robot got close to Soldier, so he smacked it with his shovel.

"Today is good day to fight robots!"

He watched as Zhanna continued to mow down the enemies, completely naked, free, and deadly. She snapped a Scout bot's neck and tore the wires connecting it to the body; she was gorgeous.

Elsewhere on the battlefield, Medic's shield was running low, yet the onslaught continued on and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Heavy ground his teeth and tried to focus his fire toward the most threatening of the attackers. Just then, Soldier said, "Come 'ere, Sweetheart." Medic looked over and the man nodded, affirming that he was referring to him.

Heavy frowned. "Do not call Doctor 'Sweetheart.'"

Medic gave him a sympathetic smile, holding his gaze for a moment as if to let him know that the pet name made him feel just as uncomfortable as Heavy. "I'm sorry, but I need to heal him. I'll be right back."

"Da. Will hold them back until you return."

Once he was in range, he focused his Medi Gun onto Soldier.

"Thanks!" he replied. A giant Soldier bot trudged toward them, so Medic activated his Übercharge, allowing him to push forward to deal some damage before falling back to a safer distance.

Within the last two seconds of his charge, he heard Heavy call for him. He had another Soldier bot and a Heavy bot shooting at him; he was falling back as the robots continued to advance. Medic screamed his name and sprinted to him, holding the lever forward in the vain hope that the beam would somehow make it to him in time. Before he could reach his patient, a rocket hit Heavy in the chest, blowing him to pieces. Medic's jaw dropped.

He could have sworn he felt his heart explode with the rocket blast. He couldn't believe his eyes. His horror was interrupted when Pyro called for help; they were in need of immediate assistance. Knowing he needed to prioritize the living over the dead, he dragged himself away from the red hologram and moved on to his next patient.

Once Pyro was healed, he glanced over his shoulder and saw that the module was gone. Respawn had taken care of Heavy. At least, that's what he hoped. Medic ground his teeth, his brow furrowed. "You bastards." He charged at them, saw swinging wildly as he tore through robot after robot. "He was perfect! None of you deserve to live after what you've done!" he screamed, voice cracking, his cries echoing across the battlefield. Coming to the Heavy bot that had hurt Heavy, he swung the bonesaw in a clean line, slashing off the robot's head in one swipe. He was surprised it went down as quickly as it did. "You'll never be as great as the real Heavy. I made him better than they could ever make you!" He then went after the Soldier bot that launched the fatal rocket.

"You," he snarled. "This next procedure will be excruciating." Medic tackled the Soldier bot to the ground. Raising the bonesaw above his head, he added, "You'll feel a little pinch then nothing at all." He jammed the blade into the robot's chest, over and over again, laughing like a madman. The blade drove in with more force with each swing, his laughs mixing with sobs with each hit. Before he knew it, tears were pouring down his face. "Sterben, blechdose!" Before he could strike again, he felt a hand catch his wrist mid-air.

Medic looked up, seeing Heavy staring down at him, eyebrows raised. "Doctor?"

"Heavy?" He got to his feet, beaming. "Dummkopf, don't scare me like that!" Decapitating a Scout bot, he added, "I thought I lost you."

"Is bad time to talk," Heavy said, revving up Sasha.

"Ah, yes, sorry." Then, Demoman called for help so Medic began healing him. Once he was taken care of, he directed the beam back to Heavy. The pair returned to the front lines and within seconds of arriving, he said, "Ready to charge!"

As the robots prepared to fire, Heavy called out, "Now, Doctor!"

He nodded and released the Übercharge.

Meanwhile, Scout zipped around the Scout bots, whittling down their health with his scattergun and then finishing them off with his bat when he was in swinging range. Miss Pauling stayed close and pegged off others, never missing a shot.

"Hey, nice shot," Scout said as he hit the head off of a Scout bot.

"Thanks." She landed a shot on another with a direct hit to the circuit board and added, "You're not too bad yourself."

"Yeah, I know. I never miss!" To prove his point, Scout took aim once more at a slow moving Heavy bot. He dashed up behind it and fired at point-blank range, only to miss entirely. "I mean, uh, not normally." Adding insult to injury, Miss Pauling shot from where she stood, hitting it between the eyes as if she could have done it in her sleep.

She laughed and shook her head. "You know, you don't have to keep showing off to impress me."

"What makes you think I'm showin' off?" Scout took out a Medic bot and added, "I'm not showin' off. You just can't get over how awesome I am at kicking robot ass!"

"Uh… yeah."

"Miss Pauling! Behind you!"

She whirled around, seeing the smoke dissipate as a Spy bot uncloaked, arm raised with a knife in hand. In a swift motion, she swung her foot up in a roundhouse kick and sent the attacker into the dusty ground.

Scout whipped out his pistol, planting a bullet between the lights it had for eyes. "Backstabbin' trashcan," he muttered to himself.

Miss Pauling tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at him. "Thanks, Scout."

"No problem. Anything for you." He cocked his scattergun and said, "Let's go. We ain't done yet."

The pair charged into range, destroying as many robots as possible while giving extra attention to each other's safety. If a robot tried to so much as scratch Miss Pauling, there would be a dent in its head from Scout's bat seconds afterward. She returned the favour by shooting down anything that tried to sneak up behind him.

He couldn't help but feel like the luckiest man on the battlefield with such a hot badass watching out for him.

The battle lasted several hours; the sky was a beautiful mix of warm yellows, oranges, and reds by the time they finished off the last robot. Surprisingly, those colours weren't caused by Pyro's fires as the scraps of the robots burned. Innumerable heaps of blue-painted metal littered the dry desert ground as far as the eye could see.

"Well, someone's going to have a nice time cleaning that up," Sniper said.

"Sure as hell won't be me," Scout replied.

"You've made this old war-dog proud, men," Soldier said, standing stiff as a board. "You're all being promoted!"

Zhanna giggled with a hand hiding her lips. She would have looked cute had she not been naked and caked with blood, engine oil, dirt, and honey.

Demoman raised his bottle into the air. "Do you know what this calls for? Gettin' bloody drunk! Drinks for all of you!"

There was a murmur of agreement before everyone headed inside the base to get cleaned up. Not long after, they regrouped in the common room. Demoman briefly disappeared only to return with several kinds of drinks that he carefully selected for each person. He chose stronger drinks for some and lighter ones for others depending on their taste. For Heavy, he went out of his way to make the man's favourite drink: peach bellini. Demoman knew he wasn't fond of the other options. He wanted everyone to partake in the post-battle festivities but he couldn't help but be amused by Heavy's taste in alcohol. He just didn't seem like the type to enjoy such a light beverage; Demoman would have pegged him as a fan of hard alcohol.

While he was busy fetching the first round of drinks, Scout played a Tom Jones album on the record player as loud as he could make the system go. Surprisingly, no one asked him to turn it down. In fact, none of them seemed to care about anything that may have otherwise gotten on their nerves. Even Spy and Sniper were getting along for once.

When the song inevitably came on, Scout serenaded Miss Pauling with "What's New Pussycat?". He held her hand for the entire song and made every effort to emphasize his point. She tried to give off the air of being annoyed, but it was clear from the look in her pussycat eyes that she actually loved every moment of it. Scout may have not had the best singing voice, but he otherwise sang the song as perfectly as he possibly could.

About two hours after the festivities began, Medic said, "All that work has made me tired. I should go to bed now."

"Aw, lighten up, Doc," Engineer replied. "The party's barely started."

"You only had one beer," Demoman complained. "At least stay and have another before you hit the sac."

He yawned yet, to Demoman, it almost seemed a bit forced. "I don't think I can stay awake much longer. I've stayed up too late for too many nights in a row."

"Doctor, wait." Heavy frowned. "I do not feel good."

"In what way?"

"Sick. Have bad stomach ache."

Medic stroked his chin as he brainstormed ideas. "Ah, yes. I have just the thing. Come with me."

"Wait," Soldier barked. "You forgot your medal." He reached into his shirt pocket, pulling out a safety pin with a beer cap skewered onto it. "You fought well, Private." Without asking, he pinned the 'medal' onto Medic's jacket, evoking a wince from the doctor as he pricked him with the pin by accident before snapping it into place. Medic rolled his eyes as he did the same for Heavy, then moving on to Engineer and Demoman. Soldier chased down the rest of the team afterward to ensure they all received their reward for all of the hard work.

Wordlessly, Heavy and Medic departed from the room, heading in the direction of Medic's lab. Demoman just hoped it wasn't the peach bellini that made him feel unwell. Their absence was forgotten shortly after as the rest of the mercs continued to drink and dance the night away.

As the party began to die down, Spy excused himself for a bathroom break. Instead of going toward the bathrooms, he returned to his room to grab his wallet and keys. He checked the time, thankful to see that there would still be plenty of time to drive to the airport.

Spy softly shut the door behind him before cloaking and creeping down the hall. On his way out of the base, he passed by Medic's lab. He stopped when he faintly heard music coming from within. Remaining invisible, he peered through the small, round window of the door.

Inside, Heavy and Medic were together, only a few inches apart. Heavy's hands were caressing Medic's hips, guiding him as they swayed to the melody. Medic rested his hands on the man's shoulders, smiling up at him. They took small steps together, moving in a small circle, completely enamoured with each other.

Medic's apparent exhaustion had all but disappeared and Heavy's tummy ache seemed non-existent. Spy smiled to himself, finally understanding why they slipped off so suddenly.

Somewhat muted through the door, he heard Medic curse loudly. He jumped back from Heavy, hopping on one foot.

"Watch where you step!" Gingerly, he put weight on both feet again, evoking a wince.

"Sorry. Was distracted by good-looking man."

"No you weren't!" Medic huffed, doing his best to appear angry.

"Is the truth, I promise!"

Medic glared at Heavy, who simply smiled. Before long, both of them were laughing.

"Shall we try this again?" Medic asked, offering Heavy his hand.

He took his hand without hesitation. "Da." They resumed dancing, but this time, Heavy pulled Medic close. It was more of a swaying hug rather than a dance, but they looked happy.

Spy's cloak was rapidly dwindling and he knew the flight would leave with or without him on it. The couple would have probably enjoyed the space anyway, so he opted to slip away. He kept his hands around his keys, stopping them from clinking together in his pocket. He opened the car door slowly, hoping it would somehow make it quieter. Shutting it, unfortunately, caused an echo to ring out through the empty garage. Spy turned the key and the engine roared to life.

"Did you hear something?"

Heavy raised an eyebrow. "Hear what?"

"That sounded like a car engine..." They stood still for a moment, waiting to hear if there would be another noise to confirm it, yet all they could hear was the music.

"I swore I heard something." They waited a little longer. "Ja, that's an engine! Don't you hear that?"

"Must be car. Who would be driving now?"

"I have no idea." Medic shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it." Smiling up at his darling, he said, "Now, where were we?"

They went back to dancing, now stepping it up to more of a structured ballroom-style dance. Holding Medic's hand, he lead his doctor around the room, taking extra care to not step on his foot again as they gently swayed to the beat.

Heavy spun Medic around and dipped him down with a smile. When he was on his feet again, Medic said, "You're better at this than I thought."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"I'm sorry I let you die today," Medic said, his face falling.

Heavy cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. "I am not mad, but I was wrong about you."

Leaning into his touch, he asked, "In what way?"

"I think no man could outsmart bullet." With a smile, he added, "Was wrong. You are only one who can."

He laughed. "Well, not exactly. Technically, I outsmarted death."

"Does not matter. Doctor made me bulletproof. We outsmart bullet together."

Medic gazed into his blue eyes, grinning like an idiot. It seemed like he made a split-second decision when he smashed his mouth against Heavy's, holding him by his shirt collar until he broke the kiss.

Heavy's cheeks burned. He just hoped the Übercharge module affixed to his heart wouldn't be damaged as it hammered in his chest.

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist."

"No. Do not apologize." Pulling him into a suffocating hug, he kissed Medic more tenderly this time. The man melted in his embrace, feeling as if the world around them stood still as they shared the moment.

AN: Special thanks to my friend, PoffinPuff, for suggesting the cute and fluffy Meet The Heavy reference in the closing scene! You're awesome, dude!

On another note, I'm dedicating myself to bi-weekly updates going forward. The only exception to this will be if my school schedule gets ridiculous but, other than that, you can expect regular updates! Mark your calendars!