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Winter Music Box Lullaby -Anime-

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(Just delete the parentheses and exchange them with what they really mean. Man that was hard :D)

Chapter Sixteen

Uncertainty of the Future

~LEN~

I was too afraid to stop her when she finally tore the barricade and stormed past the surprised Rei.

"What did you do to her nii-sama!?" Rei shouted at me before he ran after Rin. What did Ido to her I wonder? Making her suffer like this all the time…If only I was some heartless bastard and she were just some stranger then I would've brushed it aside easily and all this would have been easier to bear. But she wasn't some stranger to me and I'm not some bastard…well to others I'm not but to Rin, Rei and her friends…I'm one.

However, it was her fault, not mine, for falling in love with the wrong person in the first place. I didn't ask for any of this happen.

"I see you've made things worse, Len." Meiko's voice snapped me back to reality and I turn to find her walking towards me.

"I thought I could settle it with one go but I guess I was wrong. Now look at what I've done!" I shouted angrily not at Meiko but at myself for not being strong enough to push her back and tell her that it wasn't meant to be. How could I possibly tell her to give up when every time I look into her eyes it feels like I'm jabbing a knife deeper into her heart. I didn't want any of that for Rin, she was my friend after all. What I wanted nothing more was to make her happy.

But how can I? When I'm the one making her cry like this.

"Len…" Meiko could only give me that pitiful look while I struggled to compose myself.

"No matter what, I swear I will protect you and stay by your side!" Those words she said to me. I always thought that I made it to Miku, hearing it from Rin that I gave her that promise first made me sick of myself for being so cruel to her.

"To protect her and be by her side…heh, how I look at things, I've never even made one effort to do it." I said to myself as I looked out the window.

That promise…I remember it now…I wanted to be stronger for her so that she could be free of the pain she felt in the orphanage. I was weak back then, incapable of protecting anyone…Rin was always the one coming to my rescue, like a reversed story of a prince and a princess where I was the one that needed saving. Was I so cruel to take advantage of her selflessness back then by thinking that, whenever she saved me and got hurt, she'd always smile as if nothing happened? I always thought that if I became strong then I could protect everyone, even Rin…

Little did I know that I was only a weakling clad in armour.

"No matter how many apologies I give her nothing will set this right will it Meiko?" I asked Meiko, who by now was leaning by the windowsill watching the night sky.

"No, nothing will mend this Len…unless you can make Rin see that there is nothing for her in this path she chose to walk."

"But how can I Meiko? How can I look into her eyes and tell her…"

"You shouldn't be having doubts about it Len. If you're serious about it then tell her…unless-," Meiko stopped midway and glanced my way. For a split second, I thought I saw her eyes in complete shock before she shifted her gaze and looked out once again.

"I'm just wondering Len, do you doubt your marriage to Miku?" My eyes widened in surprise when she asked me the question.

"Doubt? No I don't Meiko. How can you say, let alone think of such a-,"

"Then why can't you stop her? Why are you so afraid to tell her…even if she's your friend I know you can still say it Len. So why doubt so much?" Meiko pointed out to me.

That's right, why am I so afraid of telling her? Why can't I just look her in the eye and tell her that there's nothing for her? Am I really doing what I can to tell her or am I just all talk and nothing more?

Am I leading her to a false hope or am I leading myself there?

"Are you implying that I maybe…falling for her?" I looked at Meiko and received a safe answer.

"Those are your words Len, not mine. What does your heart say?"

"I don't know Meiko! I'm so confused right now…" I slammed my fist hard on the sill and sighed angrily.

"I'm not going to break another promise Meiko; I'll push through with the engagement. I've already tore Rin apart and I'm not planning to do that to Miku too." I added but Meiko knew the moment our eyes met that deep in my heart, if I either choose the wrong or right there is no going back…

I can only protect one.

~REI~

I spun her to face me.

"Leave me alone Rei!" She tore away from me but I grabbed her firmly by the arm and embraced her tightly.

"Let go!" She struggled to break free but I held fast.

"Stop it Rin…please. Are we always going to be like this? How long can you last before the last hope goes out leaving you hopeless? Will you still be the same?" I hugged her tightly as if she was going to vanish before me.

I could almost see it now, the future for us in this world she suffers in. There is nothing in it unless she willingly takes my hand and I pull her out. But how can I? When she can't even forfeit the will to think that there's still a future for her with nii-sama.

"I'm sorry Rei…even if you made me your reason. To think you'd be so kind even after all I've done." She cried on my shoulder.

"I have no regrets Rin. I didn't give it to you because you asked, I gave it to you because I wanted to. I love you-,"

"Stop it Rei! I don't want to give you false hopes too. Only I deserve that…" She cut me off and pushed me back. I could see it in her eyes, she's slowly slipping away from me. She wanted this kind of future for us but I won't allow it. How could I? When my feelings for her are something I just can't put aside.

"I'll take those hopes then! I don't care if they vanish before me Rin. All that matters to me is the fact that at least I was able to hold it. To know that it was all real to me, no matter how small or how unreal it all was."

"Rei…I hate myself so much." She covered her face and began to cry again. I wrapped her in a warm embrace and stayed silent.

"If only I could reverse time maybe I can undo all of this so that you don't have to share my burden too." She whispered in my ear.

"I wouldn't reverse it if it were me Rin. I'd end up losing you if I did, all this time I thought that I was only a shadow, only to follow my brother's footsteps with no way out of it. And here you come, a light in my world to bring me out and tell me I could be someone different. How can I give that up Rin?" I replied to her and I felt her shiver with my response.

The uncertainty of our future with no light to guide us, we make the path to our own end.

She stopped crying now, in my embrace did she find safety? I pulled away from her slightly and I saw her blue eyes looking at my amber ones. She didn't pry away when I moved close, our lips brushing against each other under the starless sky. This was how far I was willing to give everything up for her, even my own future; I will make it like hers so that she won't walk that dreaded path alone. I will be there to catch her and carry our burden together…even if she didn't love me back…

I will still be there for her.

Because that's all I can do- love her.

~LEN~

Why am I feeling this way, I wonder?

How come watching them like this feels so wrong somehow? Was it because Meiko was right about what I said? That's why I feared letting Rin know because I didn't want to lose her right before my eyes. Is this even something a friend like me should feel?

All I can do is watch and do nothing because I chose Miku. I chose Miku, because I knew it was the right way for us. Rin was better off with Rei, not me. The way he looks at her as if she was the most important thing in the world, that's what Rin needed that I failed to give her. She needed someone to pull her out of the painful world she lived in. I tried to do my best for her back then but all my actions ended in failure. Not only did I lose my friend but a special person to me as well.

"Was your decision to give up so you could save your marriage?" Meiko was next to me now, watching the two of them. I looked up at the sky and saw the clouds clear, revealing the stars that looked like fireflies dancing in the night sky.

"I didn't do it for the marriage Meiko. I did it so that I could show her that she has to give up and that there's nothing for her now with me." I replied.

"But you're not happy with it are you Len? Deep inside I can see that you're afraid of what will come with this choice because you know that there's no way out of it now." Meiko pointed out and I nodded. There was no lying now, Meiko was right…that was what I felt. That fear of the future I will create for the both of us with my choice.

I will carve out our story now, my happiness in exchange for hers. I will not back out with my choice. Miku is my light and no one else can sway me from that now. Rin will be happy with Rei and in the future, she will show that smile of hers again.

"She was very precious to me Meiko. The only thing I've done is make her cry, not something I wanted when I gained the power to be strong for once. She was my reason back then, that's why I strived to be strong. It was so I could free her from the hellish world she was put in by fate."

"Your smile for hers? Free her from this fate in exchange of your happiness, is that what you're trying to say?" Meiko asked me.

"I'm not sad Meiko. Miku will be my warmth and I will be hers. That has always been our fate from the beginning. By doing this I've freed Rin from a hope that will never be fulfilled and I will give Miku the happiness she deserves."

"Was it really fate by chance or because it was decided by your parents?"

"I cared for Miku! I nearly lost her back then and I don't want to lose her now." I retorted angrily but Meiko didn't flinch, there was no anger directed at her in my eyes and that she knew.

"You're only lying to yourself Len. Soon you'll feel the burden of it."

"Why are you forcing me to doubt Meiko? As far as I'm concer-,"

"It's because Rin wouldn't want any of this! Do you think that she wouldn't see it when the time comes? Rin's not blind Len, she'll know what you've done and I don't want her to regret more." Meiko countered at me.

"I don't want her to suffer anymore Len, I just want her to be happy." Meiko added sadly.

"Then you know that this is the only way right?" I reminded her but she didn't respond. Was it really right though? Hearing it coming from me seemed too unrealistic. Was this the only way it would end for all of us?

"I'm sorry Len, for all of this…" She finally said and without saying another word, walked back into the inn. I continued to watch their figures as they looked at each other and Rei gave her a kiss. Something inside me felt so knotted up I closed my eyes and waited for them to part.

There's no going back now, that was what I chose. This is my fate now, it has run its course too far for her to reach. Such a cruel game destiny has given us, was this all meant to be a tragedy?

"I'm so sorry…" I murmured, hoping somehow that the winds could carry it to her.

The uncertainty of our future…I fear for what fate might bring.

I'm sooooooooo sorry! Two months and I give such a short chapter! Please don't kill me! I'm so bad at updates :( Please R&R, I need to know what you think! If there is anything you hate don't hesitate to PM me and ask.

-xXGemini14Xx-