Hey guys,

It's explanation time. Some of you may have noticed on my profile (in the updates section), but I had an injury a few weeks ago and am still currently in the process of recovering. It's been crazy hectic with doctor's appointments and checkups (which combined with school and a new semester really sucks). My writing slowly fell through the cracks, but I managed to squeeze out this chapter by splitting up the long chapter I had planned out (again). For those who were expecting Joshaya (as I had promised in the last chapter, I'm sorry but you'll have to wait another 2 chapters as it's taking me a lot longer to write with the injury and everything).

I am so incredibly grateful for all of your support, I have received so many lovely messages with encouragement and I cannot thank you enough for it. Also, we hit 200 reviews last chapter! That's crazy and all the love you guys have given this story means the world to me. That being said, I want to know what you guys think of what's happening/what you would like to see happen. We're no where near finished with this story, so I hope you're all in it for the long game (wink, wink)! I also feel the need to reassure you that this is not a primarily angsty fic, at least it wasn't supposed to be (oops)! Things will lighten up soon.

I also have 2 NEW JOSHAYA ONE-SHOTS on the go, pretty different in nature from what I usually write as well. There are descriptions on my profile!

Lastly, story-related thing: I've outlined a general plotline for a JOSHAYA AU, filled with stupid clichés and overall just a fun, angsty story. It probably isn't good to start another story, but please let me know what you guys think!

An Aside: I know the world is kind of scary right now guys, but we have to be strong. Please be safe when taking a stance and make sure to spread love.

I will try my very best to update soon! You can check my profile updates section for updates on my updates as well. I'm usually pretty punctual with it. Please PM me if you want to chat or if you have any questions! I love talking with all of you :)

Happy Reading!
-SleepingStarlight

"So," Josh began, taking in his surroundings before he entered the coffee shop. They had decided to show up a bit early, "this should be interesting."

"Yeah," Alina said vaguely, wrapping her scarf tighter around her neck. It was rather frigid that day, even for a fall morning. She fidgeted slightly, moving from foot to foot. Josh observed her in somewhat suspicion before she spoke. "Um, how much would you hate me if I left right now?"

"Wait- what?" Josh asked, feeling somewhat panicky at her proposal- eyes growing wide in alarm.

"I just think that my being here may not make Riley super comfortable, and you guys really have to talk". It had been a hard decision to make, but she knew that this problem was personal and no matter how much she cared for their situation, she was still an outsider in their dynamic. "I feel like you're going to have to figure this out without me, Josh."

"No, no, no! You said you were coming with me!" Josh accused, grasping at straws. There would likely be a bear pit in there waiting to swallow him whole and he was not quite ready to face it alone.

Alina stopped and took him in, sighing when she realized how desperate he seemed, but not wavering in her resolve. "You fucked up, Josh. Now you've got to fix it. I'll be across the street in the Pottery Barn, text me if things go south and I'll drop by."

"But-"

"No," Alina interrupted. "Just try to fix this. I don't expect perfect results, but I want you to try. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't anyways."

Josh sighed resignedly, knowing that he wouldn't be able to convince the bundled up redhead in front of him by begging. She always had been rather stubborn. So he opted for a different approach, letting a soft smile wander onto his face. "I love you," he said softly, lacing their fingers together gently.

"Don't try to woo me Matthews," Alina laughed softly, still blushing slightly from his declaration despite being fully aware of his motivations. She had never been able to stop doing so after he had first admitted it eight months before, and he would be lying if he said that there weren't slight tingles racing up and down his spine when she looked at him that way. "I'll be right across the street," she leaned up to peck him softly, smiling as she felt him physically calm down when she briefly pressed her lips against his. "When this is done, how about we do something tonight? We could go out or something, it's been a while."

Josh smiled ruefully, knowing how hard she was trying to cheer him up. "That would be nice," he admitted, frowning when she began to place more distance between them, her feet slowly travelling backwards.

"So it's a date," she winked, before halting by the stoplight and waiting for it to turn green. "I'll see you in a bit. Good luck!"

Josh shook his head, the smile still on his lips. He never had been able to get over how lucky he was.

The air whooshed around his figure and he shivered slightly, heading towards the door of the stark difference in temperature as he walked in was enough to make him pause briefly. The cafe had been a favourite since his early days in University. Close, convenient, and impersonal. He could pick up a coffee and sit by himself. It wasn't as though he was a loner (it wasn't nearly as pathetic as it sounded), but in all honesty, sometimes he needed space. Space from his hectic university schedule, from his meddling family, from his roommate who had seemed to always be present no matter how hard he tried to shake him. The first few months, hell even the first year of university, was filled with people. New York wasn't nearly as quiet as Philly, but the cafe had become a quick favourite for solitary moments.

His infrequent visits had become much the opposite and if he knew the names of all of the staff- well, that was just a bonus. Granted they were mostly teens and he suspected quite a few had crushes on him, but they stuck in their own lane and didn't really bother him. Everyone seemed to respect his solitude there.

They had lessened in their attempts though after meeting Alina. The redhead had accompanied him on nearly every visit, sitting cross-legged on the leather couch and holding her hands out for coffee in what he knew had instantaneously become a new tradition. Being in there without her felt strange, but as he glanced around his gaze fell on the armchair sitting in the corner. He had switched to the couch when Alina began to join him (there wasn't a ton of room in that corner), but there was something appealing about the armchair that he could not quite explain.

The unshaded lamps cast a soft orange glow over the room, highlighting the worn booths and couches that were meticulously clean and drawing his gaze to the counter where Riley stood examining the pastries in the glass case having just placed her order.

He walked over, smiling at the guy behind the counter who had rolled his eyes at his appearance, already heading over to the machine to make his coffee. "Hey Riles," he said, from a safe distance away. While he doubted she would hit him again, he wasn't really feeling like taking his chances.

Riley spun around immediately and determinedly walked over. He couldn't decipher her look, but was shocked when she wrapped her arms around him tightly, mumbling. He stood frozen for a moment before carefully returning the gesture and backing away, clearly suspicious.

Riley stood, looking at him directly, though seemingly unwillingly. "I'm sorry I hit you. I mean, it was called for, but I shouldn't have. So I'm sorry."

Josh had his eyes wide open, clearly in shock. This wasn't quite the bear pit that he had been expecting.

Riley took in his confused state, realizing that perhaps she would have to lead this discussion. So she gestured to him, noting his somewhat disheveled state and tired eyes. She was naive to not have seen it before, but this was clearly also affecting him. "Your turn, Uncle Josh."

He snapped out of his train of thought when she addressed him, feeling somewhat rattled. His apology would be significantly longer and he'd be damned if they would stand there the entire time, awkwardly seeking yet simultaneously avoiding eye contact. So he looked for an open booth, gladly finding one near the window by the counter.

"Why don't we sit?" he suggested carefully, watching as she debated with herself briefly before following him to the booth. "Mine might take a little longer anyways," he admitted with a soft smile. He had to admit that he was incredibly grateful for his niece showing up alone. He wouldn't have been able to form proper sentences otherwise… the situation would have been far too flustering and Maya's presence was far too much of the same trait.

He sat in the arm chair, briefly fiddling with his sleeve before looking back up at his niece. "I'm sorry, I never meant for things to turn out this way."

Riley's eyes narrowed; she had already apologized so she was more than free to scrutinize his. "How did you mean for this to turn out? Because if it was any variation of what actually happened I'm not going to take it all too well."

Riley wasn't going to lie, what had happened had shocked her. She knew her Uncle wasn't Lucas-level nice, but he also wasn't the massive jerk that he had appeared to be those past few weeks. The uncharacteristic change was perhaps what raised some red flags in her mind- what lead her to apologize for hurting him while she wouldn't have in any other case. This wasn't like him at all, and despite how little she wanted to hear what he had to say, she knew it was necessary. It wasn't easy to disregard such immediate family. She was willing to work this out.

"Have you ever been in love, Riles?" Josh began, not entirely sure where he was going with this.

He watched as she shook her head slowly, some sort of internal debate clearly occurring in her mind. "I thought maybe with Lucas, but I'm just not sure anymore."

"I hadn't been either," he admitted quietly. "Not even close. Remember when you asked me when you start to understand your own feelings?"

"Yeah," Riley nodded, remembering the seat in the ski lodge clearly. She had gone to him for advice that day, knowing and trusting that her uncle, (her wise, wise uncle), would automatically know the answer to her problem. Because that's who he was. He wouldn't have gotten an early acceptance to NYU if he was a fraud.

Josh scratched the back of his head nervously, watching her face closely as he continued. "I still can't really answer that without doubting myself. I was your age when I told you that. Fresh out of high school, a three-month relationship in the tenth grade under my belt. I didn't understand my own feelings then and in a lot of ways I still don't". He sighed, noticing how she seemed a little shocked. The age gap that he had always claimed to be so large, was in fact large at the time, but not so large that he had his entire life planned out. There were way too many holes in his plan- holes he had no idea how to fill until later that year.

"Sometimes I think you two may have put me on a pedestal. I'm three years older than you guys, not thirty. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm making mistakes, and you have no idea how sorry I am that Maya got hurt by one. I kept planning to tell her. And I don't have an excuse for not doing so. I can't blame it on falling in love, I can't blame it on stress. I was an ass. I didn't see her very often, and every time I did, I just couldn't bring myself to talk with her."

Riley watched as he ran a hand through his hair, still mildly upset by his confession. His age didn't justify his actions and no matter how much he hated the results of them, they still happened. Maya was nobody's collateral damage, and Riley was there to make that clear.

"You don't get to mess with her life like that, is that clear?" she demanded, knowing that she wouldn't proceed until some ground rules were laid out. She watched him nod, pain clearly flitting across his eyes, before pausing briefly and continuing.

"And I get what you mean. Love is messy. Even I'm confused these days." Riley sighed before altering her train of thought, this conversation wasn't supposed to be about her own romances. "I don't blame eighteen year old Josh for falling in love, okay?" She could acknowledge how that, at least, may have been outside of his control. But, at the same time...

"I'm upset that you didn't have enough faith in Maya to tell her. You have no idea what that did to her. It doesn't matter that you're with Alina, what matters is that you never told her. She trusted you. You two might not have had much of a relationship these past few years, but she thought that at least there was enough respect to avoid situations like these."

"I know you, Uncle Josh," Riley sighed. "And trust me, I know you didn't mean for things to work out this way. And even though I know you would never stop her, I'm telling you now that you have to let her move on. Maybe you were on a pedestal at some point, but you sure as hell aren't now."

Josh watched as Riley spoke, feeling oddly proud. What she just did, not many people would do. She had come out of her shell those past few years, clearly embracing her Topanganese ancestry.

Maya had always been in his life. The infrequency of her presence would never alter that. And along the same lines, he would never live down his actions. He had seen her grow up, played with her as kids, and walked her back to her apartment more times than he could count. He would never be able to pinpoint at what exact moment he felt that he could put that relationship at risk, but he had. And seeing the pieces of it was too much in a way.

"I'm sorry," he said somewhat brokenly. It had been far easier to ignore what he had done those past few weeks, but the guilt that had remained tucked away was now breaching his every defence, crashing through open floodgates, and overwhelming every other emotion.

She sighed, crossing over to his chair and sitting down on the arm as Josh rubbed his face wearily. "You fucked up, Uncle Josh. And I'm not entirely sure how you're going to fix it. But you're not doing it alone anymore."