Chapter Twelve
The buzz and chirp of her phone letting her know she just received a text wakes Max up. Her eyes open wide and she immediately thinks of Chloe, shifting in bed to reach for her phone and checking the text. It's from her father, wishing her well and inviting her to call him any time of day if she needs to talk. It's sweet and makes her smile, but her heart still feels low and heavy as she looks around the room, Chloe's absence weighing upon her.
Her eyes drift to the clock to see it's just after eight, then down to see Rachel resting beside her. Rachel is on her left side snoozing on the pile of pillows, and Max can feel the girl's right leg resting on her lap. She slowly pushes the sheets off to see the dragon tattooed leg resting upon her. All the lightly tanned flesh looks so pristine from the cute foot all the way up to the thigh, except for an obvious jagged white line on Rachel's right knee. Max traces her fingertips over it softly.
Rachel's scar from saving Chloe's life. It may as well be a medal of honor. She may have really screwed up her timing and how she told Chloe the truth, but I can't hate this girl for ruining the road trip. If it weren't for her there wouldn't have been a Chloe to visit, and this trip would have never happened. Don't worry, Rachel. I'll find a way to take care of everything… somehow. Even if it takes until October and I need my future self to cheat a few times.
Max pushes out from under Rachel's leg, which wakes the girl up. As Rachel sprawls out and stretches her limbs with cute groaning sounds Max smiles down at her, then twists away. She fetches a bottle of water to hydrate and uses the restroom, and when she comes back out she finds Rachel sitting up against the pillows casting a sullen expression down at her phone. It seems she was also hoping for a sign from Chloe, but also struck out.
"Why don't you take first shower, Rach? I'll call Joyce and see if Chloe is there." Max tries to sound encouraging, wanting to avoid crawling back into the pit of despair from the previous night.
Rachel rolls out of bed and walks into Max to give her a hug. "Good luck, Max. Remember, Joyce just lost her husband, so she needs support, too. Don't just call asking about Chloe." She slips around Max and fetches an outfit, then goes into the bathroom to shower.
Max nods in agreement and heads over to the far edge of the bed to look out of the sliding glass door as she makes the call. She can feel the armies of despair lining up their siege around her heart, waiting for the signal to attack if Chloe can't be located.
"Hello, this is Joyce." The woman sighs the words out, clearly drained from the last twenty four hours.
"Joyce, hi. It's Max Caulfield. How are you holding up?" Max does her best to be supportive, her toes curling and free hand tugging on the bed sheets as she desperately wants to ask about Chloe.
"Oh, hello Max." Joyce sounds a bit happier at finding out who it is. "I'm… survivin'. This ain't my first rodeo, unfortunately."
"Ugh, I know. I'm so sorry you have to go through this again… you're such a wonderful lady and you never deserved to deal with it the first time around." Max conveys her sympathies.
"Well, thank you for that, Max. You always know just what to say." Joyce pauses, and just by the way she breathes Max can feel the woman's smile. "You're the one Chloe ought to be callin' Angel."
So relieved that Joyce brought her up first, Max can't help herself but to ask about the girl. "Thank you, Joyce. I do my best to help everyone I can. But, speaking of Chloe, is she there?" Max tries not to sound worried, but it comes through anyway.
Joyce lets out a little chuckle. "You can relax, darlin', Chloe's here and safe. She arrived late last night and told me all about her fight with Rachel. She ended up fallin' asleep on me at the end of the night. Oh… that brought me back five years. I'm sorry yall had to go through that last night, but seein' Chloe again was just what I needed after… what happened."
Max is silent for a few moments as she just places her hand over her heart and looks to the ceiling, thanking the Lord that Chloe is safe. "I'm so glad to hear Chloe is OK. But, about what happened… I'm so sorry, but can I ask? I'm still so confused. How did David die?"
Joyce lets out a heavy sigh as she has to go over the information. "Someone left an anonymous tip for him in our mailbox about Mark Jefferson and Nathan Prescott using that barn for their crimes. He got up before dawn and left while I was still asleep, and when he got there apparently Mark Jefferson was already under the barn. David called the police, but then he went in alone to try and prevent Mark from destroyin' any evidence. Mark… shot him to death."
"Oh my God, Joyce… I'm sorry." Max feels the claws of guilt wrapping around her heart again, squeezing tighter than before as she imagines the awful ending to a life that her actions caused.
"I am, too." Joyce remains silent for a time, ending the silence by sniffling. "But I'll get through it, Max. What about you two, are you gonna be OK in Portland?"
Max is fine with accepting the topic hop, knowing how hard it must be for Joyce to discuss David right now. "We'll be OK, Joyce. We just don't really know what to do now. Should we stay here for the rest of the week, or do you want us to come back to Arcadia Bay and spend some time with you?"
"Now now, don't you be endin' your road trip on account of me." Determination and grit power through the southern woman's pains. "I've been waitin' four years for you to reunite with my little girl and I'll be damned if I step between you two now, no matter my grief. I'll spend the mornin' with Chloe, but right after lunch I'm sendin' her back to you. I want you kids to enjoy your last few days in Portland. Just promise me one thing."
"Of course, Joyce. What is it?" Max sounds so ready to do anything to help Joyce cope with her loss.
"You need to get Chloe and Rachel to bury the hatchet and stay friends. If they drift apart now they'll always regret it. And come back on Friday night. David's funeral will be on Saturday, and I want you girls to give him a proper goodbye."
"That definitely counts as two things, Joyce. But I promise I'll do my best with both. One way or the other, we'll all attend that funeral." Max can't help but wonder how difficult a task that might be, and if she might have promised something she can't deliver.
"Thank you, Max. I can hear Chloe stompin' around upstairs, so I'm gonna make her some breakfast now that she's awake. You girls find somethin' nice to do till she gets back to you."
"Aw, now I'm jealous. I have to eat hotel food for breakfast." Max gives her best effort to put a smile on Joyce's face. "And we will. Take care, Joyce. We'll see you soon."
After the call Max just stares out the window, watching a group of crows fly around trying to decide which tree is the best one to perch in. When Rachel steps out of the bathroom with her hair and makeup all done up, looking like a proper model, Max tells her the whole conversation. Rachel's so happy and relieved to hear that Chloe is alright, though seems worried when she's told Chloe will be back later in the afternoon. Max assures her everything will turn out alright, then collects one of her last two clean outfits and steps into the shower.
I hope I didn't bite off more than I can chew. I don't have any experience with this kind of thing. How am I supposed to mediate a lover's quarrel when I've never even had a proper lover before? Actually, I should probably call this what it is… a bad breakup. There's no way they stay together after this. Rachel admitted she's straight. It's over. Should I tell Chloe I love her now? Rachel was trying to before she was slapped… but is it too soon to tell her? I wish I had those time powers right about now.
Max exits the bathroom in her white shirt with pink and light blue flower graphics all over it, and a pair of faded blue jeans. She slings her favorite grey hoodie on and tucks her little feet into her shoes, then moves her last pair of clean clothes into a drawer so she can take her suitcase of used clothes out for laundering, and even lets Rachel stuff some of her things in as well. After strapping her photography satchel on she's ready to go.
Rachel has chosen a pair of white jeans with large areas ripped out to show her knees, and a black shirt with a large white logo on the front of Abraham Lincoln drawn as a punk rocker. She slips into her Converse and her red and black plaid long sleeve shirt, and makes sure to attach her trusty umbrella to her belt loop before grabbing her purse and stepping out with Max.
The two figure out the laundry situation down at the lobby, then head to breakfast to figure out their plans for the morning and early afternoon. As they eat and discuss options the two agree on museums, since Chloe isn't present and never showed much interest in such things. After finishing breakfast and forming a plan they head out.
Since they have no car they have to take the MAX line down to City Hall, then walk a few blocks to find the Oregon Historical Society. They arrive just after 10am, when it opens, and spend a couple hours going through all the exhibits and murals to learn all about Portland and Oregon history. The quiet is soothing and the educational material a good distraction away from the previous day's troubles. After browsing the gift shop the two of them search for a nearby lunch spot and decide to try Raven & Rose, walking a block to the British and Irish inspired eatery.
"So, Rachel." Max braves a question that's been on her mind all day as she works on her Shepherd's Pie. "If you're straight, does that mean that all this time with Chloe, you've been… faking orgasms?"
Rachel laughs as she works on her Fish & Chips. "No, Max. I told you, I'm pretty open minded. I can enjoy sex with girls just as much, that's all physical stuff. It's just that, deep in my heart, I know I want to spend my life with a man. But, don't you worry about Chloe's skills. She's a total boss in the bedroom. I never had to fake anything with her. And now that she's going to be single again, you'll see for yourself soon enough. I've got a feeling about that."
Max blushes furiously as Rachel offers her a playful wink and smirk with the prediction. "Um… I mean, I hope so, I guess. Maybe not too soon, though. It's been a crazy week. Do you think I should try to take that step with her before I fly back to Seattle?"
"Don't try to plan out when your first time with Chloe will be. Just tell her how you feel when she gets here, and let the relationship build organically. At some point there will be like… this totally clutch moment when everything falls into place. And then, it'll just happen." She offers a supportive smile, though it's obvious to Max that she's still anxious and worried about seeing Chloe later.
"Thanks, Rachel. I think I'll take that advice." And as she considers Rachel's feelings on all this she comes to a realization. "Wait… when you were yelling at me about Chloe's suicide attempt, after I told you I had been crushing on her since I was thirteen and still have those feelings for her today, you totally changed lenses. Is that when you first decided you were going to tell Chloe the truth?"
"Yeah." Rachel sends a crestfallen look down at her food for a few moments, before raising her hands up and cupping them into a bowl, as if she's holding something. "Chloe's heart is like this intricately detailed crystal flower, so beautiful yet so fragile. I've been carefully holding it for years, protecting it, waiting for the right person to give it to. I realized in that moment that it was you."
Oh, man. Now that I think about it, every time they became intimate it was always Chloe initiating. Chloe kissed Rachel. Chloe whispered into Rachel's ear suggesting sex. She's just been giving Chloe everything she wanted over the years, while keeping her own desires hidden. That must have been so hard.
"Are you sure you're OK with all of this?" Max sees the pain in Rachel's eyes as she pokes at her lunch. "I'd love to be with Chloe, but I don't want to hurt you in the process."
Rachel shakes her head and smiles as she tries not to let any tears escape. "It's too late to go back now. I hope you and Chloe find true love for each other, Max. I'm just worried that Chloe will never speak to me again. It would really hurt to lose her as a friend."
"Rachel…" Max takes a breath and builds herself up a little. "I'm not going to let that happen. When we go back to Arcadia Bay, you and Chloe will still be really good friends. I'll do everything I can to make sure of that."
The promising words are like a warm blanket, turning Rachel's tears of sorrow into ones of joy. "Thank you, Max. I really appreciate it." She carefully dabs at her tears with her napkin, trying not to smear her makeup.
The two of them switch to easier topics for the remainder of their lunch, then make their way out. A couple blocks away is the Portland Art Museum, and being such avid art buffs both Max and Rachel have been looking forward to going there all week. All the different cultures represented in the galleries and exhibits really cheer them up, even inspiring their artistic natures. They stay until 3pm, then decide it's best to head back to the hotel and wait for Chloe's arrival.
After picking up their clean clothes in the lobby, Max and Rachel head up to the hotel room and organize all their clothing while watching TV. The tension builds in the air like a fog as every minute ticks by, the girls knowing that Chloe could arrive at any moment, but not knowing what mood she'll be in. When everything is sorted out Max can feel the lump in her throat as she sits on the foot of the bed, her eyes on the TV but not at all paying attention to it.
I hate this. Not knowing when Chloe will get here, or if she's even coming. Just because Joyce wanted it doesn't mean it's going to happen. She could be sitting at the lighthouse in Arcadia Bay right now for all I know. Oh, Chloe, what are you feeling right now? I wish you'd call, or at least text. Maybe I should call her… no, I don't want to seem desperate or demanding. I just have to wait for her to be ready to see us again. This sucks.
The minutes just keep ticking by without any sign that Chloe is coming. As 4pm comes and goes Max and Rachel exchange sad, worried looks, but can't bring themselves to say anything. They just sit and watch the programs on TV with little interest. But, at 4:25 there are finally three firm thuds of a fist on the door. Max gasps and rockets off the bed to go peep through the door and see Chloe on the other side. She gives Rachel the signal, the two of them having worked out how to handle this ahead of time.
As the door swings open Chloe puts her hands on her hips above those dangling suspenders, adopting her wide, strong stance as she keeps her expression tough. She's wearing her usual getup of damaged blue jeans, black boots and jacket, dark blue beanie and a white punk-rock shirt. Her eyes meet Max's when the girl opens the door, and Chloe is immediately glad that it's her and not Rachel. A lot of emotions swirl through her expression as she looks at Max.
"Chloe." Max chokes the name out, that lump still very present in her throat as she tries to keep her emotions in check. "I'm so glad to see you."
Chloe peers over Max's shoulder and sees Rachel in the room, sitting on the foot of that bed watching them. Chloe presses her lips tightly together and looks away, her left hand rising and waving dismissively as she almost looks like she's about to leave. "No. No, I can't fucking deal with her right now. I only wanna talk to you, Max."
Max nods. "Of course, we expected that might be the case." She steps out of the hotel room and walks down toward the end of the hall, finding that cushioned seat tucked against the window she had used on Saturday night to write in her journal. "How's your mom doing?" She tries distracting Chloe away from thoughts of Rachel.
As Chloe reaches the end of the hall she just stands there, not feeling like sitting on the cushioned seat after being on the road for hours. "Yeah, she's hanging in there… but things are so fucked up in Arcadia Bay right now. Everyone's losing their shit over what happened."
"Yeah, I can imagine." Max sits on the cushion and folds her hands in her lap, staring down at the floor for a moment as she thinks of the people in Arcadia Bay. Then her eyes rise to Chloe and she just stares at her with hope and wonder, trying to will something positive from her.
Chloe catches the look and shifts uncomfortably from boot to boot and crossing her arms over her breasts. "Fine, I'll start. I'm sorry for the last thing I said to you… it was shitty and you know I didn't mean it. But let's skip the crap and get to the real question that matters… yeah, I heard what Rachel was saying about you. Is it true? Do you… have those kinds of feelings for me?" She sounds so worried, feeling very vulnerable on the topic of love.
Max gives a glowing smile and nods vigorously up at the blue haired teen. "Yes! Chloe, I'm in love with you!"
Chloe's face scrunches up and she shakes her head, backing away and turning to the right. "No, fuck you! That's bullshit! You've been back in my life for five days. How could you possibly be in love with me? Don't mess with my heart right now, Max, that's not fucking cool." She seems on the verge of tears as her heart refuses to open up to Max, the wounds from yesterday barely cauterized.
Max tenses from head to toe as she tries to bore through the painful rejection she received after admitting she loves Chloe, trying to understand the girl's perspective. "Chloe… not the last five days. Always. When I was thirteen you were my first crush. I was trying to work up the courage to tell you, but then your dad died. And then my parents took me away from you. But my heart never let you go."
Chloe watches Max with her worried expression, her lower lip trembling a little as she tries to fight back her fears and accept what she's being told. "You never let me go?"
Max shakes her head. "I can't tell you the story you joked about a few days ago, of how I lost my virginity. I've never done anything with anyone. I couldn't, because they weren't you. Chloe, you're all I've ever wanted."
As Chloe listens she reaches up to brush her wrist and forearm over her face to wipe away her first tears, sniffing as she questions Max. "Then why'd you drop me out of your life? Why didn't you call me from your new number in Seattle? I missed you so much…"
Max stands up. "I was just a stupid kid! I thought I was never going to see you again. It broke my heart, Chloe. I didn't know it would make you want to die… I'm so sorry!" She breaks down into sobbing as she braves stepping forward with her arms open, knowing full well what happened to Rachel and not caring if she suffers the same fate.
Chloe watches Max approach and decides to accept her embrace, raising her arms to curl around the little brunette's shoulders. "Max… why me? I don't deserve it."
Max slips her hands beneath Chloe's black leather jacket so she can feel the softness and warmth of the girl's body through the cotton shirt. "Everyone deserves to be loved. And you can't help what the heart wants. I want you in my life again, Chloe. I'll call you every day! Please… just give me a chance." She buries her face into Chloe's chest as she begs for the opportunity to be with her.
It takes a long ten seconds for Chloe to think over what she's been told, just leaning down to press her face into Max's light brown hair as she considers how to respond. "I want you in my life again, too. But I need to know this is for real, Max. You have to prove it to me."
Max gently nods and pulls her teary face back to peer up at Chloe. "Whatever I need to do… just tell me."
Chloe slides her hands down Max's arms and sides to hold her just above the hips, giving her such an affectionate and vulnerable look. "Kiss me, Max. Kiss me right now."
Max shifts her hands up to brush along Chloe's cheeks, burying her fingertips under all the wild blue tresses so she can properly cup the girl's face. She rises to her tippy toes and tilts her head to the right so she can press her lips into Chloe's without a moment's hesitation. The inexperienced teen does everything she can to prove her love for Chloe, sucking and plucking away to make cute kissing sounds each time their lips release. Max gives Chloe every ounce of passion she can muster.
Ten seconds of kissing pass before Chloe finally leans back to break the kiss and flutter her eyes open, staring down at Max with such a dreamy gaze. She lets a happy smile slowly creep onto her face as her hands slide around Max's lower back. She squeezes Max into her body, stomachs and breasts softly squishing into each other.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Max asks just above a whisper with all her hopes as she gazes up at Chloe's shimmering blue eyes.
Chloe takes a breath as she wrinkles her brows with worry one last time, but her heart screams for Max after that kiss and she knows the feelings are true. "I'm all yours, Max."
Fireworks go off in Max's heart and she feels like her feet float right off the floor. Her arms squeeze around Chloe's body and she beams brightly up at her. "I want to hold your crystal flower heart in my hands and protect it forever."
Chloe forms a perplexed smile and shakes her head slowly. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, you little weirdo. Maybe just stick to kissing me."
"OK, that works for me." Max grins, then closes her eyes and leans up to offer Chloe as many kisses as she desires.
Their hands roam all over each other's backs as they enjoy making out for the first time, spending a long few minutes basking in the warm sensations that wash over their bodies from all the tender affection. Soon the tears are dried and their fears melted away as the two girls accept each other fully, finishing with a bit of quiet cuddling.
Chloe slips her hands down to release Max, and Max follows suit only to feel one of her hands grasped. Chloe leads down the hallway and Max follows, smiling up at the blue haired beauty as she walks along.
"So, I kind of made a promise to your mom… and Rachel." Max admits.
"Jesus, you already wanna get married? We only just began!" Chloe jokes and nudges Max's shoulder with her own.
After giggling Max shakes her head. "No, not that. I promised to help you and Rachel patch things up. You know she never meant to hurt you, right?"
Chloe sighs and stares at the carpet as the two approach their hotel room. "Yeah, I get that a lot. People say they don't mean to hurt me, but it just keeps happening. Listen, I can't deal with her today. I need more time."
Max sends a sorry expression up at Chloe as she pulls her keycard out of her jeans. "Alright, Chloe. We'll try to deal with it tomorrow, then."
When the two enter the hotel room Chloe doesn't even want to speak with Rachel, so Max has to play translator to try and get any kind of conversation going. She recommends going out to a movie, since that doesn't require talking, and the other two seem fine with the idea. So, the three head out to watch a movie and have dinner, though the dinner is a bit overwhelming for Max as she tries to maintain two conversations with two girls that aren't speaking to each other.
After a stop at a gas station to buy more beer, the girls head back to the hotel room where Max convinces Chloe to at least share her marijuana with Rachel. So, like previous nights, the girls enjoy a bit of substance abuse while watching silly TV programs. Once Chloe is buzzed and a little high she accidentally talks to Rachel, and the girls enjoy a pleasant but brief exchange.
Max reminds everyone to brush and floss before bed, then changes into her night shorts only to realize the sleeping situation has to change. Rachel takes the bed Max had been sleeping in, and Max tucks in with Chloe. She happily snuggles with her new girlfriend and gives her a dozen goodnight kisses. Chloe's embrace fills Max with such joy and warmth that sleep comes very easily to her.