Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Warnings: Underage - while there is no explicit sexual content within the story, there is mention of minors (15/16) having sex in the past, plus the conversation between Logan and Veronica is very sexually charged. Dubious morality, mind games and mindfuckery, but not on either Logan's or Veronica's parts.

AN: A darkish Lilly Lives fic, where Logan discovers her infidelities and breaks up with her rather than the other way around.

This is something that has been sitting in my files for years. I don't even remember what prompted it, or what my thought process at the time was, but I think I read a fic somewhere that had a similar scenario or played with the same themes, and it sparked this story. In truth, I don't believe that canon Lilly would ever do this; but she does have an unseen dark side that could have twisted this direction had she continued down her path of self-destruction. Also, I love playing with what-ifs.

Logan exhaled sharply and stared out of the pool house windows, his mind reeling as he still tasted her on his lips. Still felt the gentle pressure of them against his mouth, soft, and warm and so sweet it made him ache inside. Still felt her under his fingertips, her skin smooth and like silk. He could still smell her, her soft scent clinging to his clothing even now.

Closing his eyes, Logan took another swig off his whiskey bottle and ignored the sound of music and laughter swirling all around him, desperately trying to drown out one mocking laugh in particular. He'd known as soon as Lilly got that feverish, almost malicious glint in her eye that she was up to no good, and he'd been helpless to stop it.

She'd known his weakness and had gone after it, dug it out for all to see, just like the heartless bitch she could be when wound up. No one told Lilly Kane no and lived unscathed; Logan breaking it off with her for the final time last week definitely fell within those parameters.

And playing Truth or Dare with Lilly at the helm, when she was in one of those moods, was always, always a mistake.

And yet, he couldn't help reveling in finally knowing.

God, the way Veronica felt against him, sweet and pliant and so warm in his arms, the scent of her perfume filling his nose; it was better than anything he'd known. Better even than when Lilly had...but he didn't want to think about that, the memories making him feel sick and dirty and cheap and like the worst person in the world.

He had wanted to pull Veronica away from that; to experience that first taste of her in private, and he'd even briefly considered it. But then that mocking laughter reached his ears and the real world came crashing down around him. She wasn't his and this was just a game, a cruel joke instigated by his bitch of an ex to mess with his head further.

Logan had torn his mouth away at that moment, his heart sinking even as he'd met Lilly's maliciously triumphant gaze over Veronica's head. And then he'd pulled away as if scalded and ran. He ran blindly and without purpose, his only thought being to put distance between him and the girl he'd always secretly wanted, but never allowed himself to have.

Opening his eyes, Logan set the bottle aside and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, surprised to come back with more than just whiskey. Reaching up one hand, he angrily swiped at the water droplets gathered there, refusing to call them what they were because he'd be damned before he gave Lilly Kane the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

He refocused his attention back onto the party, still wildly in progress just outside his vantage point, and smiled bitterly at the scene in front of him. Everyone who was anyone was in attendance, all there at Daddy Dearest's behest to celebrate Logan's birthday - a birthday that was still two months away. But, really, Aaron couldn't remember how to keep his own dick in his pants, so why would he actually remember his son's birthday?

People milled around talking to one another, or more likely, talking about somebody behind their backs, their smiles bright and false, as they looked for their latest victim. A throng of boys and girls were near the pool, supposedly dancing, but really having sex with their clothing on. And yet another bunch were at the edges of the party, lost in shadow as they tried the latest and greatest drug available.

It was all so...artificial.

It was everything that Aaron, and those of his ilk, thrived on; and everything Logan despised. In fact, the only bright spot in this world had been Veronica; but then again, she hadn't been born of this world like he and Duncan and Lilly had been. She was the first genuine person Logan had ever known, and sometimes, it was only that light that guided him.

His eyes swept the crowd, looking for that bright spark of blond hair, but couldn't find her. He couldn't find Lilly either for that matter, but that was nothing unusual. She was likely off with her flavor of the week doing God knows what. And honestly, he couldn't care less what or who Lilly did theses days. He'd given up all pretense of caring as soon as he found out about Weevil and all the others.

God, he hoped that this hadn't ruined things with Veronica; he could honestly kill Lilly if it did.

Restless, Logan prowled back and forth in front of the windows, every muscle taut, coiled, very much like some great cat ready to pounce on its prey. He ran a hand through his hair, thankful that Veronica wasn't around. He didn't want her to see him like this; he didn't want her anywhere near him while his control was so thin, especially now that she and Duncan were broken up.

He knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

He knew that he just might finally give in to his desires if she didn't stay away.

Damn Lilly and her games, anyway.

"Logan?"

Logan froze in midstep, his breath stilling in his chest, even as his heart picked up in tempo, thrumming out in wild staccato and thundering in his ears as Veronica's voice filled room.

Fuck

Of course; of course Veronica would come looking for him. What else would she do?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Logan sunk into the shadows, and cursed certain Kanes virulently under his breath. He hoped that if Veronica couldn't see him immediately, she'd take her leave and look elsewhere. Or better yet, that she'd just go back to the party where she would be firmly out of reach and wouldn't be such a damned temptation.

Not that he ever got what he wanted.

"Logan?" Veronica called again; she rubbed her hands over her bared arms, goosebumps pebbling her skin as she stepped out of the hot summer night into the air-conditioned room.

And that was another gripe to lay at Lilly's door.

When Duncan had dumped Veronica without so much as a word why, a heartbroken Veronica had turned to her best friend for guidance and had announced that she needed a makeover; that she was tired of being seen as sweet and virginal and it was time to do something about it. Lilly had gleefully taken her words to heart, and whisked Veronica away for Fleet Week and a whirlwind shopping spree and makeover that spawned Veronica 2.0, complete with choppy layers, short skirts, tank tops and combat boots.

It was an interesting dichotomy - her new sassy looks combined with remnants of her sweet, generous side - and it played a merry hell on his nerves.

Like tonight. He was so going to hell tonight.

"Logan? Are you in here?"

"You shouldn't be here, Veronica," he said, a small, dark part of him thrilling when Veronica jumped at the sound of his voice.

"I – I was worried," Veronica said, her hand splayed across her chest, as if trying to still her rapidly beating heart.

Logan huffed dismissively, and looked back out the window, hoping that she'd take his silence as a hint to leave well enough alone. But he should have known better. The Mars, both father and daughter, were known for their stubborn tenacity.

"Are you okay?" Veronica asked, coming up behind Logan; and Logan had to close his eyes and clench his hands into fists as the scent of her perfume filled his nose.

"I'm…it's fine…" Logan said, stumbling a bit over the lie. "Just…go back to the party."

"Logan." Veronica placed a hand on his arm.

"Veronica." His voice held an edge of warning, but of course, Veronica chose not to heed it and just pressed closer, leaning her head against his back.

Logan pressed his forehead to the glass and let out a long, shaky breath, one that hitched when slim arms wrapped around his waist and squeezed. And fuck, Logan didn't know what to do. So he just stood there, staring blindly out the window, equally reveling in and damning her touch until finally he broke. Just as he always did around her.

"She did that on purpose, you know."

Veronica made a questioning sound in the back of her throat.

"Lilly? The dare?" Logan clarified with a bitter smile. "She's wanted to see that for years. She knows I've had a thing for you since we were twelve."

"What?" Veronica asked, drawing away from him; just as he expected her to do. "You…"

"Oh, come on, Veronica." He drawled out her name mockingly, pulling away from her embrace to resume his pacing. "You had to know. I all but confessed it at Homecoming."

And she did. There was no way she could have misinterpreted what was being said. Lilly had purposely and outright asked what he thought of Veronica the first time he met her just to see him squirm. And drunk, and feeling safe among friends, and with Veronica safely taken by his best friend, he had shyly confessed that he'd thought she was hot.

There was no way to misunderstand what he said.

"But Lilly…" Veronica trailed off, her brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Lilly said…she didn't...how..."

And she was quite adorable in her confusion, with her bottom lip clenched between her teeth and her nose slightly wrinkled as she tried to come to terms with the fact that her best friend had set them up. Or at the very least, cruelly set Logan up, to taunt him, to tease him, to give him a taste of what he could never hope to have.

"Lilly wouldn't." Veronica tried to say firmly, but he could hear the uncertainty in her tone.

"She would," he said implacably, and shot her an unreadable look as he rubbed a hand over his hair. "She would and she did. Lilly knew."

And God, he should just shut the hell up now before this goes any further. Before he said something that he couldn't take back and destroyed one of the true things in his life.

"No, she couldn't…" Veronica shook her head obstinately and crossed her arms over her chest. "I asked… She would have told me."

And that was just so Veronica, he had to smile. But it quickly dropped once the rest of her words registered. She asked? Asked what?

"She knew," Logan insisted, turning to face her, puzzled at just what Veronica would have wanted to know. Could she...but he quickly quashed that hope. It would do no good to speculate; especially given the way she was currently looking at him.

Veronica just stood there, eyes wide, opening and closing her mouth in disbelief, her gaze accusatory as she stared back at him and something just snapped inside him. Blowing out a harsh breath, he stalked across the room to stand directly in front of Veronica, crowding her.

"Why do you think she liked to borrow your clothing on occasion?" He demanded, hissing under his breath when she gasped and took a surprised step back. He ruthlessly stepped forward, bringing them near nose to nose as he enumerated each of Lilly's transgressions. "Virginal dresses, modest tops and skirts are hardly Lilly's thing. She delights in tormenting me."

"But…" Veronica snapped her mouth shut when he just pressed further into her space, forcing her to retreat another step.

"Did you know she has a bottle of your perfume?" Logan kept walking forward for every step that Veronica conceded until he had her backed up against the wall. "Your shampoo? Your soap?"

"She keeps them there because I spend the night so often." Veronica's protest was small and weak and not much of a protest at all. He could see the wheels starting to turn.

"Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie," he mocked, shaking his head sadly. "You are so delightfully naïve at times; it's one of the things I love best about you – your complete trust in people whether they deserve it or not."

"She wouldn't do that," Veronica repeated, but her voice completely lacked in conviction.

"She would. And she did." Logan pressed closer, until he felt her breath on his face, the heat of her body setting his aflame. Fuck, he was a complete and utter masochist. "She loves that I get off on your scent," he whispered, delighting in the way her eyes rounded further. "That I get off on the fantasy of having you. And, God, even now, the thought of it never fails to get me hard as a rock."

"Logan..."

Veronica's voice was near breathless as she stared up into his face, her cheeks flushed and mouth wet where she'd licked it. And damned if that didn't do things for him. He closed his eyes and pressed closer to her, groaning internally when she squirmed and aligned their hips better. Biting his lip, he pressed his nose to her temple and inhaled deeply, his voice nothing more than a soft rasp against her ear.

"She layers herself in your scent, puts on your prim, pink, little sweaters and invites me over, you know," he said, pressing his lips to the shell of her ear. "Then, she blindfolds me, touches me with only her hands and mouth, her thighs wrapped snuggly around my hips."

"Oh God," Veronica whispered, her eyes fluttering shut, even as she tipped her head to the side.

"She adds a few small, hesitant touches - a brush of skin here, a touch of lips there, a flick of tongue done oh-so-shyly - to build the fantasy."

Logan took a deep breath and wrapped his hands around Veronica's wrists and pressed them into the wall behind her, taking pleasure in the hitch in her breathing.

"She teases me until I can't think straight, until I break and fuck her senseless, all the while chanting your name."

Veronica made a small sound in the back of her throat, a strange combination of a moan and a sob as she buried her hot face into his neck, her fingers clenching at the air and squeezing, as if using it to anchor her.

"Marshmallows and Promises," he whispered, tracing his nose along her jawline and down along her neck, just breathing her in. "I want to drench myself in those scents, to pretend for a while that I have the right to claim them, to claim you for my own."

He clenched his eyes shut, his fingers tightening around her wrists for a moment before he stepped back, releasing her abruptly. Drawing in a sharp breath, Logan spun on his heel and walked a few paces away to put some distance between them.

"But the fantasy never lasts," he continued quietly, embarrassed at how open and raw and broken and just wrecked his voice sounds. "All too soon she laughs, one full of malicious glee, one that grates my every last nerve, and then she flounces off to shower, leaving me there with shattered dreams."

Veronica inhaled sharply, and gave a violent head shake; but whether it was in denial, as if she couldn't believe that her best friend would be so cruel, or if it was to shake loose the image Logan had branded into her head, Logan didn't know. All he knew was that he was tired of these games and tired of hiding the way he felt; and maybe, just maybe if he got it all out, Veronica would turn away from him and everything could go back to normal.

Or what passed for normal in Neptune.

"It takes me weeks to work it, to work you, out of my system." He braced his hands against the wall and dropped his head, knowing that this might effectively kill anything between the two of them, and yet he couldn't stop.

Logan laughed mirthlessly at that thought, a note of hysteria breaking through as he turned to stare at her, Veronica - his best friend and the unattainable dream.

"Don't you ever wonder why I avoid you for days on end sometimes?" he asked with a bitter smile. "Or why I leave the room when you enter? Why I pull away as if burned when you touch me? Why Lilly throws us together for no reason sometimes?"

Veronica just stared at him, speechless; which was remarkable considering she was a Mars. But really, Logan had nothing to lose at this point; better to get it all out in the open, to purge the festering wound before it poisoned what was left of their friendship. If there was anything left.

"It's because, afterwards, every time I look at you, every time you brush up against me, oh-so-innocently, I want to grab you, press you against the nearest surface and lose myself in you."

Veronica gasped, and eyes wide, she pressed a hand to her mouth, but Logan kept right on. Stalking back over to her, he pressed his body to hers, groaning as the heat flashed throughout his body, leaving him weak kneed and near mindless with desire. He buried his nose into her hair, his breath coming hot and heavy between them as he whispered in her ear.

"You fill my senses and I can't escape. I have to constantly fight down the urge to push you against the lunch table, or the wall, or the damned lockers and take you right there in front of everyone, for all to see. I want bury myself so deep inside you, you'll never think of anyone else ever again. To possess you, like you possess me."

"Oh God," Veronica breathed.

Her hands clutched at his shirt and yanked, pulling him even closer to her, until their bodies molded together and there wasn't even a millimeter of space between them. And fuck, he really wanted to slide his hands down over her hips to cup her ass and wrap her legs around his hips. Wanted to sink between her thighs until she could feel just what she did to him.

"And just as I tell myself it'll never happen again, that I've forgotten the taste of your lip gloss – yes, she has that too – she does it again," he spat out angrily. "And weak man that I am, I fall for it, over and over and over, because for that moment, you are mine."

Veronica's throat bobbed as she swallowed. Her eyes, hot, heavy and filled with something he couldn't decipher, held his as she stared up at him, as if riveted by his words. And Logan took that in and bathed in it, fiercely glad that she was truly seeing him for the first time.

"In my mind, I've had you a thousand times over; in every way imaginable. She knows it, plays on it, preys on it, but she also knows I'd never act on it. I have always wanted you, Veronica, and there are days I've prayed that the fantasy was reality."

Logan drew in a deep breath, the scent of Promises and marshmallows filling his senses one last time before he released her and stepped back, his hands clenched at his sides.

"Does that make me a sick fuck?" he asked, a bitter twist to his mouth. "Yeah, probably, but we already knew I was twisted. Just one more kink in fucked up, deviant Logan Echolls' mind. "

"Logan..."

But at that point, Logan realized the gravity of what he'd wrought and paled, backing away from Veronica until he was on the other side of the room. He stared at Veronica for a long moment, memorizing her features in case this was the last time they spoke and held out his hand to ward her off as she tried to cross the distance between them.

"You…you should leave," Logan said, swallowing painfully around the lump that had grown in his throat. "Before I do something I can't take back."

Veronica halted and stared at him incredulously; and yeah, she was probably right to do so. He'd tripped merrily way the fuck over that line a long time ago, but that didn't mean he couldn't halt whatever this was before it got worse. But then Veronica narrowed her eyes and firmed her mouth, tilting her jaw at him defiantly.

"No," she said, her tone firm and implacable.

"Ronnie," he said desperately, but trailed off as this time Veronica stalked over to him and placed herself directly in front of him, stealing his breath away.

"No," she repeated, just as firmly as before, her breath fanning over his lips as she tilted her head back and stared at him hard. "I'm not leaving; and I'm not going to let her win."

Veronica walked forward, until she was pressed against him, very much as he did when he'd been trying to intimidate her, and he couldn't help falling back until he hit the wall, just as she had done the first time around. And damned if it didn't leave him wrong-footed.

But then, she'd always held all the cards, hadn't she?

"We are not going to let her win," Veronica said, determination in every line of her body as she pressed close and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, shaken to the core as her body molded to his; he clenched his hands into fists, keeping them at his sides in an effort to quell the desire to pull her close and never let go, but it was a battle that he was quickly losing.

"No more dreams, no more fantasies," she whispered as she rose up on her tiptoes, bringing her mouth just inches away from his, her breath sweet against his lips. Logan squeezed his eyes shut, trying, and failing, to block her out. "Just you and me."

"No, Veronica...you don't have to…" Logan placed his hands on her hips, intending to push her away, but she moved against him, oh-so-innocently, and he was lost, crushing her tightly to him instead.

"I want to, Logan," Veronica said, conviction ringing in her voice. "I want you."

Logan opened his eyes and stared down into Veronica's upturned face, studying it for any kind of hesitancy whatsoever, but was only met with firm resolve and the beginnings of something that he wasn't quite ready to put a name to. But he wanted it nonetheless.

"Oh, God," he choked, crushing her impossibly closer, his breath hitching when she came willingly, and without so much as a whisper of doubt. He dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers, softly, gently, and so, so lightly it was as if they weren't even there; and yet it had the power to completely rock his world.

"I am damned," he breathed against her mouth.

And then he let himself fall into her, knowing that he'd never survive it should she not be there to catch him. But it would be damned well worth it while he did so.