(Mal)
Incessant tapping broke into Mal's unconscious mind, pulling her from her light sleep enough for her to realize that the sound was coming from someone knocking on the door. She moved to get up, only to find that a light weight against her side was holding her down, and her cheeks flushed with heat when she registered the radiating warmth of the body behind her. When did that happen? Glancing over her shoulder as best she could, she found Evie sleeping contentedly, her body molded to Mal's back and her arm slung over the smaller girl's waist so that her palm rested against her stomach. Dropping her head back against the pillow she exhaled heavily; she wanted to stay. However, despite the fact that the knock continued echoing through the room, it was only when she remembered the night before that she decided to get up, and she did so quickly, sliding from underneath Evie's arm until she could no longer feel the girl's body-heat.
The hardened tip to Evie's voice when she had told her that she didn't get to tell her to be selfish rang through her ears, the girl's words present in her mind as if they were only just now being said. Though she knew Evie hadn't meant any of it harshly, part of her couldn't seem to move passed the evasive way the girl had shut her down, and she almost felt it would have been easier to just hear the rejection through blunt words. The way it had happened didn't matter, though, she knew that, and she also knew that she had no right to feel as though the world was beating her down again, so she told herself to get over it since it had been entirely her fault with the way she had pried into something she shouldn't have. Why do I always have to ruin everything? It shouldn't change a single thing between them, but it would be difficult to continue behaving as she previously had with the girl, and even more challenging to ignore the sharp sword of rejection that now continuously pierced her chest. Rejection. The word and feeling was unfamiliar to her given the way she had always believed she wouldn't have to deal with it, not with the way she had constantly closed herself off from everyone; but now that she had finally allowed herself to open up she felt the gruesome sting of it pulsing through her veins. And, as it had when she had woken, fear plagued her, fear that the rejection would only taunt her whenever the girl touched her, reminding her how foolish she had been to even think it possible Evie might share her feelings.
This isn't the time, Mal; she told herself as she moved toward the door, grabbing the handle and pulling it open to reveal Jay waiting on the other side. I should have known. With the annoying knocking and all. She arched her eyebrow, keeping hold of the handle as she shifted all her weight to one foot to wait for the boy to state why he was here.
"Hey, is Evie awake?" Jay questioned, reaching up to fix the beanie covering his hair. "I couldn't find her anywhere yesterday."
Mal glanced over her shoulder at her bed, swirling her lip around inside her mouth as she tried to decide whether the girl was still sleeping, or not. "No, I don't think so."
"Oh, that's cool," Jay shrugged casually. "Can you tell her I need to talk to her?"
"Yeah," Mal nodded, suppressing a yawn as she went to close the door.
"Wait," Jay said suddenly, stopping the door with his hand.
Opening the door back up, Mal met Jay's gaze and found discomfort there. What does he want? She wondered as he fixed his beanie again – which had nothing wrong with it – before shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
"I'm... I'm not good with this type of thing, so I'm just going to say it, is that cool? That's cool, okay," Jay cleared his throat, his question for Mal coming out as more of a pep-talk for himself. "I realized that I never really apologized for the way I treated you, so... I'm sorry for treating you like shit."
Out of all the things she had been worried about coming from Jay's mouth after that display, an apology definitely hadn't been one of them, and now she felt as uncomfortable as he looked; she wasn't good with this kind of thing either. They both stood there in silence for a moment, Mal's gaze locked on the floor and Jay's on the way her hand fidgeted with the doorknob.
"Thanks," Mal finally said what she meant, though she didn't understand why he had felt the need to apologize. "I um..." she didn't know what to say, and she ended up just awkwardly reaching out to lightly punch Jay's shoulder. "Me too."
It was the most awkward moment of Mal's life, especially when silence fell over them another time, neither of them knowing what to say but also not knowing how to end the conversation without seeming inconsiderate. Think, Mal... how does this go? She had no idea. What she wanted to do was close the door, but she knew that would be disrespectful to the boy; not that she cared much about being respectful to most people. However, Jay was different, she wanted to be his friend, she just didn't exactly know how to; it wasn't as simple as it had been with Carlos, or even with Evie – though she had been set on making that difficult at first.
Clearing her throat, she gestured behind her. "You can come in, I'm sure she'll be up soon."
"That's okay," Jay shook his head, glancing into the room behind her. "I'll just catch her after the game."
"The game? Didn't you guys play yesterday?" Mal questioned, unsure how sports worked.
"Yeah, but we're in a tournament," Jay explained, shifting on his feet as he pulled his hands from his pockets to check his beanie. Why does he keep doing that? "We won the game yesterday, so we move ahead in the tournament."
"Okay," Mal replied, still not completely understanding; what's a tournament? However, she wasn't nearly interested enough to have the proper motivation to learn.
This response brought a smile to Jay's face. "Are you coming to watch the game?"
"Um... I don't... know?" Mal raised the last word with a question despite knowing she should be able to answer for herself. She didn't know if Evie still wanted to learn more about her powers considering they hadn't actually done anything yesterday, and she didn't want to commit to something if it would interrupt other plans. "I'll ask Evie if she has anything else planned for us today."
Jay arched his eyebrow, and Mal immediately disliked the knowing glint shining in his dark eyes.
"No!" She shouted too loud as her hand shot forward as if she could stop him from thinking the way he was with the gesture. Glancing over her shoulder at the sleeping girl she lowered her voice. "No, it's not... that's not what I meant."
Eyebrows lifting further, Jay held his hands up in surrender. "I didn't say anything. But if you say so."
"Come on, please..." Mal pleaded, last night slamming its way back into her mind, bringing the pain with it. "We're just friends. That's all."
"I'm sure Evie would love to hear you say that," Jay said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.
Mal's eyebrows knit together as she stared at him in curiosity, feeling as though he had been trying to tell her something through his tone. However, the only response she got from Jay before he disappeared down the hall without an explanation was a brief wave and a warning to not mention that in front of their friend. What is wrong with that boy? She released a soft sigh as she closed the door slowly, her mind still working in attempt to decipher the tone he had laced his voice with. Did he say that sarcastically? As in...? No, that can't be it. But then the way Doug had watched them and glared at her when he had asked to speak with Evie alone flashed through her mind as if Jay had told her what that had been about. Do people... she paused briefly in her thoughts and her movements as she moved further into the room, not quite capable of wrapping her mind around the idea enough to even consider it; do people think Evie and I are together?
Not wanting to think about it, she shook the thought from her mind as she made her way back to her bed, only to find her legs stopping abruptly when she realized Evie was awake. At first, she thought she was only worried that the girl had heard her conversation with Jay, but when she took in Evie's current appearance she realized that it was more likely that she had frozen simply from looking at the princess. Dark-blue hair was tousled and red-brown eyes were hooded, both affects from sleeping, both appearances that stole air from Mal's body and left her breathless. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my fucking god! She's so incredibly beautiful. When the girl's mouth curved into a loving smile, Mal found herself unable to stop her gaze from flickering down to stare momentarily at those tempting lips as she wondered what it would feel like to have them against her own.
Panic slammed into her when Evie sat up on the bed, stretching lightly, the knowing shine dancing in her eyes setting something off inside of her mind. It felt as though Evie could see everything going through her mind in that moment – in every moment – and the idea had her chest constricting in shame when her thoughts from last night rose up to haunt her, especially when it dawned on her that it shouldn't have taken her this long to realize how horrible she had been.
Inconsiderate was the proper word to describe how she had been acting, selfish another. The realization shot straight through her chest and pummeled her heart, causing her to avert her gaze from Evie's until she was staring out the window. She had thought it would be difficult to let the girl continue touching her because it would always remind her of the pain she felt from having read their situation wrong, but she realized now that it was more than that. Above everything else – above her pain from knowing she had been incorrect – she hated how she had complained that she deserved more, deserved to be happy for once. She was ashamed just thinking about it, and she wanted to rip her heart out for needing to look into the eyes of the person who brought the most into her life in order to realize this. She had everything she could have ever wanted, she had everyone she never thought she would have, it was enough to create an entire new world of pure delight, and yet she had forgotten it all because she wanted more.
Something in the atmosphere shifted and she drug herself from her thoughts to look at the girl, somehow knowing she had been trying to get her attention. "Huh?"
Evie laughed, eyes glowing. "I asked you what Jay wanted."
"Oh, that..." Mal trailed off, finding herself distracted by the girl's ruffled appearance again now that she had allowed herself to focus on her. Fuck my life. What did he want? She couldn't remember, so she lifted her shoulders in a shrug, receiving another laugh.
That laugh. It made her feel lighter, caused her stomach to flip relentlessly in adoration. She looked away from the girl again, neck and cheeks heating in embarrassment. I'm so sorry, Mal sighed in disappointment; I'm so sorry for seeming ungrateful. I have more than I ever asked for, and I don't need anything else to be happy. It was the truth, and she couldn't believe she hadn't remembered that last night; thank you for everything. Thank you for Evie, thank you for Carlos, and Jay, and Ben. She knew that she would always want Evie, but she also wanted the girl to find everything she deserved and be completely content with her life, and if she wasn't the person that could give her that feeling than she would do everything she could to get her to that point.
Glancing back toward Evie she found her moving around the room in preparation for a shower, and her heart fluttered when red-brown caught sea-green through the mirror and the beautiful girl winked at her. Cheeks heating for a different reason this time, she watched as the girl elegantly approached the bathroom, her hand coming up to rest on the door-frame as she glanced over her shoulder briefly, allowing Mal to see the playful smile gracing her features before shutting the door. Evie had flipped everything around on her, making her feel like the prey for the first time in her life, making her feel like the minion being manipulated – and she wasn't used to that.
Feeling as though she were locked in a trance, Mal found her way to her bed and turned so she was facing the bathroom, leaning her back against the pole and throwing her head into it with a sigh. Stop teasing me, Evie. Letting her eyelids cover her eyes she inhaled deeply in attempt to calm her mind and her body, the girl always seeming to have unlimited control over both; how can someone make your life better while ruining it at the same time? She felt like she was losing control, and she didn't know how much more of the girl's constant teasing she could take, the mixed signals tiring her. Evie threw her mind into a frenzy and awakened her body in ways she didn't even know were possible, and the fire igniting inside her only continued to grow with each passing minute with no way for her to put it out.
She didn't know if she could resist her overwhelming desires, but she would force herself to because she loved and respected Evie too much not to. Releasing a heavy breath she laughed lightly at the thought of trying to keep herself from reacting the way she did to the girl; this is one hell of a ride you've got me on, Princess.
(Evie)
A sudden pulse that had nothing to do with her necklace overwhelmed Evie's body, and though she knew within a few seconds that it wasn't nearly as terrible as the pain she had experienced from the crowned heart, it wasn't something she wanted to feel. It was a pain of its own, one mixed with bewilderment and wanting and rejection, and she already wanted an answer for the causation.
Unlike other times, her emotions were written on her face with crystal clarity as she turned her head to the right, her gaze immediately falling to her own hand, the one she had wanted to be tangled with another. And she had tried, completely expecting to feel slightly worn skin gliding against her smooth skin, only the feeling had slipped away a second later, the girl shying away from her touch in a way she hadn't even done when they had been stuck in an endless loop of back and forth. When combat boots shuffled to the right, Evie brought her gaze to the girl's face in attempt to read her emotions, but she was only met with reddened cheeks and eyebrows drawn together in restrained sorrow, nothing that could explain why Mal would reject her touch. What's going on, Mal? Tell me what's bothering you and I'll do anything to fix it. But she felt she already knew the answer, she just didn't understand how it could shift the girl into a timid, cautious being; she had believed she had broken passed the barrier that kept distance between them.
This is because of last night. She knew she shouldn't just assume that Mal was hurt or offended by the path the conversation from the night before had taken, but she wasn't an idiot; there was nothing else that could explain the girl's hesitation. The pain that had been visible in Mal's eyes when she had refused to be selfish had struck something deep inside Evie because she wanted to understand the girl, wanted to understand why she had been pushing so hard, wanted to know what she had been looking for. There had been a hidden meaning behind the girl's words, a meaning she hadn't been capable of finding before the conversation had reached an abrupt end because – when Mal had told her to be selfish – she had just snapped. It wasn't right, it just wasn't; the girl who had taken her unbearable pain for herself, the girl who had put herself into danger multiple times to protect her, the girl who had admitted openly that she would rather die than let anything harm her, that girl had no right to tell her to be selfish. She was well aware that the words had come out far too harshly, but she couldn't take that back no matter how terrible she felt for snapping at the girl. If Mal was currently uncomfortable with her because she was unsure of what would happen after she had bit her, Evie understood. Mal wasn't well educated in how relationships worked, so she could see why the girl would be confused and hurt by the response she had gotten, but Evie still stood by her rash decision, and she wouldn't change what had happened even if she could. Nothing could have bloomed from that conversation. She couldn't give Mal what she wanted if she didn't even understand what that was other than her finally allowing her thoughts and feelings to explode from her, and that's not how she wanted to do it. Evie didn't want to let everything she had been holding in out simply because the moment was emotionally charged due to the events beforehand, she wanted to do it when there was no possibility of her feelings being confused for gratitude toward the girl who had saved her life, and she somehow knew it would have happened had she admitted just how deep her feelings for Mal go in that moment.
A sudden cheer startled Evie from her thoughts, and she tore her gaze from Mal to look at the field to figure out what had happened to cause such an approving uproar. However, the game was too far ahead of her at that time, so she just assumed the Fighting Knights had scored again considering the cheer had occurred around her instead of across the field where the supporters of the opposing team sat. Usually, her attention was focused on the game and cheering on her friends, but it didn't take long before her gaze was sliding back to study the girl standing next to her.
Mal's cheeks had lost the red tint, but her eyes still held confusion and sorrow as she stared into the distance, the coating over her eyes letting Evie know that she couldn't see the game despite her gaze being locked on the middle of the field. She's distant, Evie noticed, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth while contemplating whether she should say something. She's struggling with something. I should ask her if she's okay. But something tugged on her mind, warning her that the girl didn't want to talk about the things going through her head, and though she didn't understand why she got these feelings she listened to it. I'll ask her about it later, she decided; after she's had time to think over it herself. She didn't want to be intrusive, especially not after snapping at the girl for prying too deep, and so she reminded herself that she didn't need to know everything Mal felt immediately. Let her come to you. If she trusts you, she will.
"Are you serious?"
In any other situation, Evie would ignore the accusatory voice, knowing it wasn't directed toward her, however, she recognized that voice and immediately knew that it was, in fact, meant to get her attention. Releasing a heavy sigh, she turned to the side Mal wasn't on to face Audrey, noting how the girl seemed more insolent than usual. That's just what I needed, Evie fought the urge to roll her eyes at the princess before she could even explain what she was accusing her of; I'm not in the mood for this. To be honest, she never was, and if there was anyone out there who could constantly deal with this kind of behavior without getting irritated, she envied them.
"Yes, Audrey?" Evie forced a friendly smile onto her face, trying to get under the girl's skin by appearing unfazed.
"And you're pretending like you don't even know," Audrey scoffed, throwing her hands into the air. "I can't believe you!"
"Well, go on, tell me what it is I did this time," Evie sighed again as she shook her head, shifting her attention to the field.
"Stop pretending, Evie, you know very well what you did," Audrey argued, eyes narrowing as her hands came to rest on her hips. "What did you say to him? Are you really so jealous that you can't leave two people in love alone?"
That caught Evie's attention, and she returned her gaze to Audrey while her eyebrows reached toward each other in confusion. What is she going on about? Usually, she had some idea of what had irked Audrey, but she had no clue what it was this time, especially not after the girl's questions.
"I really don't know what you're talking about," Evie tried to explain despite knowing the princess wouldn't believe her.
Audrey let out a dry laugh, and Evie felt an unexpected warmth radiating from behind her just before a small body brushed against her back, the laugh that lacked amusement seemingly catching Mal's attention and causing her to watch silently. The girl's touch calmed her, and she suddenly felt as though she could deal with anything that was thrown at her.
"What did you say to Jay?" Audrey demanded an answer Evie didn't have.
"You're going to have to be a bit more specific," Evie replied calmly, fighting the urge to reach back and grab Mal's hand for further comfort, unsure whether the girl would let her. "I say a lot of things to Jay."
"He broke up with me last night, and I know it had something to do with what you said to him at the dance," Audrey seethed, looking as though she were about to throw a punch; something Evie had never been afraid of until now. "You just couldn't leave us alone, could you? Was it truly too hard for you to see us together because you want him for yourself? Your little lie about Carlos was a good way to keep me from being mad at you for a while, but it won't work any longer."
Evie couldn't help but laugh lightly, her gaze dropping to the ground for a moment as a small smile curved her lips upward. "I promise you," she started, bringing her eyes back up to lock with Audrey's. "If I liked Jay, he would have never been interested in you."
"You bitch!"
It happened faster than Evie could properly register; Audrey's manicured hand was swinging toward her to land a blow somewhere Evie couldn't tell, but a paler hand shot forward before the princess' hand could even get within a foot of her. Before she knew it, an arm had pushed her away from Audrey and the pink princess was in Mal's grasp, her arm twisted behind her in a way that looked unbelievably painful.
"What the fuck did you just call her?" Mal growled, her jaw clenched and her eyes burning with a fury Evie had never seen before.
Everyone on the bleachers around them turned to watch the disastrous scene unfolding in front of Evie, but the blue-haired girl was completely frozen in shock, not even knowing what was happening, let alone how to go about stopping it. Hands came up to grab hold of her shoulders, but she didn't react to Lonnie's touch, unable to focus on anything other than the two girls in front of her.
"Are you insane?" Audrey shouted, terror lacing her voice.
That had been the wrong thing to say, and everyone knew it because, with a swift movement, Mal had her fingers clasped around the front of Audrey's shirt instead, her eyes flashing with an unusual green as she leaned intimidatingly into the princess' personal space. Evie couldn't help but gasp while Mal executed the graceful movement, her eyes widening when Audrey grabbed hold of Mal's arms in a weak attempt to pry the vicious girl off of her.
"I could ask you the same damn thing," Mal hissed, the unnatural calm in her voice contradicting the wicked look present in her eyes. "Now you're going to listen to me, and you're going to listen closely if you're intelligent. Never, and I mean never, try to lay a hand on Evie again, and never let that word come out of your mouth to describe her. Do you understand?"
Audrey's gaze met Evie's. "Don't just stand there! Get your little pet off of me!"
Seeming to snap out of her trance, Evie took a step forward, prepared to actually do as Audrey said for once, however, no matter how quickly she moved she wouldn't have been able to stop Mal from kicking the terrified girl's legs out from under her and slamming her into the metal bleachers.
"Do you fucking understand me?" Mal's voice was full of rage, a rage that surprised Evie but didn't scare her.
"Mal," Evie breathed out softly, bringing her hand down to rest on Mal's shoulder. "Let her go."
Flashing green eyes raised to meet red-brown, and Evie watched as the danger quickly dissipated and returned them to their beautiful sea-green. She slid her hand over Mal's shoulders, letting her thumb rub soothing circles into the back of her neck as she curled her fingers around to reach the girl's collarbone. Eyes softening, Mal nodded the slightest bit, releasing her hold on Audrey and standing, turning her back on the girl and beginning to make her way down the bleachers, away from all of them.
"You're not the most insane after all," Audrey said after accepting help in getting back to her feet.
Evie ignored her, pushing through the crowd in pursuit of Mal.
"I'm happy for you," Audrey called after her, clearly not finished despite having been attacked. "Looks like you finally found someone who makes you look like less of a screw-up."
Eyes still trained on the girl walking away from the scene, Evie saw the muscles tensing throughout Mal's entire body before she snapped again, turning around and making her way back up the stands, the look darkening her eyes letting Evie know that what she was about to do to Audrey would make what she had done to those agents seem almost playful. Knowing she couldn't allow that to happen, Evie stepped directly into Mal's path, finding that she had to slide her arms around the girl's body tightly when she only went to step around her.
"Mal, please," Evie pleaded, holding onto the girl as tightly as she could, well aware that she wasn't strong enough to keep her from doing what she wanted. "She's not worth it."
"Daughter of a hero," Mal scoffed sarcastically, pushing against Evie. "I'll rip your fucking throat out!"
"Mal," Evie breathed out against the girl's ear as she struggled against her. "Calm down."
Lonnie appeared beside them, prepared to help restrain Mal, however, Evie only shook her head at the girl as Ben appeared at the bottom of the bleachers, his eyebrows knit in confusion under the mask he wore for the game that had been interrupted by the entire scene. Chancing the brief moment Mal would be liberated, Evie let go of the girl and brought her hands up to grab hold of Mal's cheeks, bringing their foreheads together so she couldn't catch sight of Audrey again.
"Please listen to me, M," Evie whispered, looking directly into sea-green eyes. "She's not worth it. Let it go."
Mal shut her eyes, breathing deeply as she nodded gently against Evie's head.
"I don't like the way she treated you," Mal replied in a quiet voice, her hands coming up for her fingers to dig lightly into Evie's hips.
"I know," Evie spoke affectionately, the corners of her mouth curving into a small smile at the girl's words. "But you can't just obliterate her."
"I wouldn't say I was going to obliterate her," Mal laughed lightly, exhaling heavily as she calmed down even more.
Evie resisted the shiver that wanted to make its way down her spine due to the feeling of the girl's hot breath dancing over her lips, trying to focus on something other than the way Mal's close proximity excited both her mind and body. Calm yourself, Evie. But it was difficult with the girl's lips inches away from her own. However, when she remembered where they were she immediately pulled away, letting her hands fall to Mal's forearms as she glanced around at the people surrounding them.
The first person she saw was Ben, the realization and slight pain coating his eyes setting something off inside of her chest, and she turned away from him, unable to continue looking. Lonnie, however, was smiling adoringly at both of them; but it wasn't enough to paint over the rest of the crowd. Nearly everyone was watching them now since the game had been paused, and she didn't have to look at each individual for long to figure out that the looks they were receiving were limited; confusion, shock, and disgust.
The judgmental looks pierced straight into her chest, and she let go of Mal completely, stepping away from her as she averted her gaze to the ground. She looked back up when the hands gripping her waist disappeared, only to find another dagger finding its way into her heart when she saw the pain that buried every other emotion in sea-green eyes.
"I understand," Mal whispered brokenly.
Before Evie could even open her mouth to ask what the girl meant, Mal had descended the bleachers and began the journey toward the woods, her gaze locked on the ground as she walked away from everyone; as she walked away from Evie.