Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! If I did, then Vocaloid would already be an Anime and Rin and Len are canon :)

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Confession of the Dying

~RIN~

Where am I?

The whole place looked so surreal that it almost looked like a dream… but what kind of dream? I couldn't recall what happened after I collapsed, just the sound of people shouting and Meiko crying.

"Tuberculosis? Are you sure?" I could hear people talking, hushed tones as if saying it any louder than they have to would seem wrong. Tuberculosis? Why on earth are they talking about something like that? Could it be that I-,

"You can't be serious!? You're doctors! You're supposed to assure us not give us any more bad news." I could hear Rei's voice, angry and trembling. He sounded like he was scared, why is that? I tried to open my eyes but it was so difficult, as if they were glued shut. It's scary… I can't see anything but darkness. Len… Rei… Meiko… where are you?

"Three months? You really let them cling into such a hope? She barely has one and a half month left." Someone sighed as I felt the sheets being pulled up till my chest. A month and a half? Is that how long I have left to live? For some odd reason, I didn't feel like crying from sadness from the idea… but there was one thing that I did feel.

Emptiness.

"L-Len? What's this all of a sudden!? Why? I don't understand? Why?" I could hear Mistress Miku's voice crying and the sound of shuffling. Why did Mistress sound like she was distressed? Her voice so broken and sad. She mentioned Len, what did he do? I wanted to run to her side but I felt like my whole body was made of lead. I have never felt so tired in my whole life. Was it the effect of the sickness?

"Don't you get it!? It's over, I don't deserve your kindness, and I'm not the person who would make you happy. I could never make anyone happy, all I do is make people suffer. So I've decided… Someone else would make you happy Miku but it can't be me." I could hear Len argue. Why did he say such things? Didn't he love Miku… why is he just hurting her more and more? I heard the click of boots leave the hall and soon after followed by Miku wailing from despair.

"This is so unfair! Why? Why did he do it? I thought he loved me! What happened to all the promises and the future! Why am I suffering this? What did I do wrong!?" She continued to cry and I felt tears slip from my eyes. It seemed so unfair for Miku after all. I felt like this was all because of me. My own heart yearned for something I couldn't have and in exchange not only was I punished by losing him but someone else also had to bear the burden too. I didn't want that… I realized long ago that I had no choice but to accept it but it looks like I realized it too late.

"When will she awake? I don't want her to see this side of me… I love Rin very much, if she found out about this… she'll hate Len and I don't want that." I could hear Miku whisper and I felt my heart break. If she found out the truth would she be saying the same thing? If she found out I loved Len too would she take back those words and hate me. How long was I hiding such a thing from her? It felt so unfair of me.

"She could never hate you or Len, Miku. She loves you both too much to hold a grudge. Believe me… I know." I could hear Rei try to comfort her as she cried some more.

Rei… he called me his reason but I could never give him what he wanted. I could never return the same love he was giving me. Even if he said it was okay… For me it could never be okay. How much more before he breaks because of me? How much would he sacrifice for me? I didn't deserve something like that if I could never pay what was due. It hurts me to see him smile at me but underneath all of those, his heart was breaking slowly.

"Why are you crying Rin? I guess you heard them didn't you." I could hear Meiko's voice say and then felt her hand caress my head in a motherly manner. Tears streamed down my face as I opened my tired eyes to the bright light and to her face, her face full of tears and sadness.

Meiko had always been like a mother to me. Learning to live with them, I never really knew I'd meet people like them. So accepting of others and helping them as if they were family too, Meiko stepped up for me countless of times that it felt impossible to pay such a gratitude. I could never tell any of them how long I had to live, I know I didn't want them to hold on to such a sliver of hope but with all my will power I want to live long enough to treasure these last memories with them…

"Sorry for worrying everyone." I managed a weak reply and Meiko shook her head assuring me it was all going to be alright, that everything was okay even if we both knew deep down it wasn't.

"I'll call them over okay… I know Rei and Miku will be glad to see you." Meiko said as she stood up but I grabbed her sleeves to stop her. There was something amiss in what she just said, if I am right then Len he-,

"As I awoke, I overheard a little scuffle between the mistress and Len. He broke it off didn't he?" I questioned and Meiko's eyes widened for a second and then looked away from me.

"I didn't think you'd hear it but yes you're correct… they broke it off. I didn't think he'd do it though, he was adamant the first time I asked him about it so I was indeed surprised he suddenly chickened out. Does that guy even have a heart or does he enjoy wrapping you both in his fingers like some toy?"

"I-I can't blame him, Meiko. If I hadn't been so forceful on him then-,"

"Don't blame yourself, if he had indeed loved you then he would've asked you to marry him not marry some person he had half-hearted feelings for." Meiko cut me off, her eyes closed as if trying to control the anger that was clearly evident in her voice.

"I guess, you could say I love him too much to find any fault in him. I always wished I could reverse time to back then, maybe if had confessed sooner then I would've known the answer… his real feelings and then maybe we wouldn't be here right now blaming each other." I said as I fiddle with sheets of my bed. Meiko didn't say a word so I didn't know what she felt. Was she frustrated or maybe even mad that I had admitted to her that I could never hate Len for what he had done? I was about to ask for an apology before Meiko turned to me with a smile on her face taking me by surprise.

"You're right, Rin. I guess you could say that love is strong enough to make us accept the flaws in others and accept them for what they are. I guess being clouded by anger towards him, I had forgotten about such a thing. Always looking at my point of view, I never gave much thought into your feelings… Sorry, Rin."

"Thank you, Meiko." I smile back as she leaves my room to call Rei and Miku in. The two people who I unintentionally lured into this bitter cycle. If I had only a few months left to live, this would be the time to correct my wrongs. It feared me to no end that they would never forgive me that they would lash out and blame me for all this suffering but I was prepared for what was to come. At least in my deathbed, I would sleep in peace knowing that I had set things right.

"Rin!" The door to my room swung open and I was engulfed in a warm hug by Rei. His body shook in fear making me wrap my arms around him to calm him down. The sound of heels on marbles echoed my room and I felt Rei stiffen as he let go of me to face Miku who stood before us.

"Thank goodness you're alright, Rin." Miku smiled and I felt every bit of my heart shatter from the pain behind it. Her eyes looked hazy as if she hadn't gotten any sleep and her smile faltered as if she was controlling the urge not to cry. Is this how much my sin had damaged her? I controlled the stinging tears to cry out for her. Miku been so good to me all these years and what did I pay her in return? Nothing but a stab at the back. She was too good to blame me for such a sin, probably going to say that it had nothing to do with me but it did! I had every reason to be hated by her. If I had not gone after Len then maybe none of this would've happened to her.

"Is there something wrong, Rin? You look so distraught." Miku's brows creased with worry and I felt another pain as I controlled the urge not to scream and say that she had no right to look at me with those eyes… those eyes that felt like I had not committed any sin against her.

"M-Meiko… R-Rei… if for a bit, please leave us. The Mistress and I have something important to talk about." I muster to say. As if reading my intentions, Meiko stiffens but nevertheless nods and leads a confused Rei out of the room. I stared into Rei's eyes and when his eyes read mine, he knew that I was about to walk through a dangerous path right now.

"Very well." He only said and walked willingly out of the room with Meiko. I turn to Mistress and saw her looking at me confusingly, wondering what I wanted to talk to her about. I tried to calm my breathing as I uttered the words that I knew would herald the beginning of our friendship's end.

"I'm sorry, Miku."

~MIKU~

"I'm sorry, Miku." She apologized, her face a mixture of pain and deep regret.

"What on earth are you apologizing for, Rin? You did nothing wrong." I try my best to smile, erasing those pains of Len's abandonment for the sake of Rin's health. I didn't want her to worry, I didn't want her to hate Len for what had happened if I told her. She didn't need any more burdens now that she had only three months left to live, I want her to enjoy her last remaining moments in happiness.

"I have no right to act innocent, Miku. I have every right to bear your hatred for what I am about to tell you." Rin said, her grip on the sheets tightening. What on earth could she be talking about? What sin could she possibly be talking about? In the longest time she had been under our household, not once did she ever do anything against. In fact I should be the one bearing a sin towards her, for not being able to stop Len from kicking her out of my home after the accident.

"Rin, I should be the one apologizing. If it hadn't been for my carelessness then maybe Len-,"

"Please stop, Miku! I have no right to look like the victim here… please just hear me out." Rin cut me off, calling me by my name. She looked so guilty that it made me worried about what she was about to tell me.

"I heard… Len cancelled the engagement, didn't he?" I stiffened at her words, the memory was enough to make me shake and my eyes betrayed the hurt that threatened to overflow from my eyes. So she did know… then did it mean that her sin was because she would harbor a grudge to Len? I didn't want that, I didn't want her to hate Len because of me.

"Please don't hate Len, Rin. I didn't know why he did it but there must be a very serious reason why. So please-," I tried to reason but what startled me was the fact that she laughed bitterly at my attempt to cover up for Len's sudden cancellation of our marriage.

"Did you ever think for a second that maybe that serious reason was because of me?" She suddenly blurted out and I felt time freeze as I stared at her in surprise.

"You? Why ever would you be the cause? What aren't you telling me, Rin?" I felt my voice hitch up as tears started welling up in my eyes. No, it can't be about Rin. I trust her enough… she'd never do something like this…right?

"Did you know? That I love Len and there was a time I confessed to him my feelings. I knew it was bad to go after a taken man but I loved him ever since we had been kids, Miku. On the night he gave you that promise, I felt like I had been stabbed at the back! He made that promise to me first Miku, not you… he forgot and that was when I wanted to give up… but I couldn't. I love him too much, Miku… too much." Rin confessed and I gripped my shoulders tightly to control the urge not to scream. It was normal right, to feel this overwhelming hurt and betrayal because two of the most important people in my life had stabbed me in the back.

"It could be why he left… because maybe he-,"

"Stop! Please I don't want to hear anymore, Rin!" I closed my ears and nearly screamed as I begged her not to continue. Why? It must be some horrid lie! But why would Rin make such a joke? Did I do something wrong along the way to deserve something like this?

"I'm sorry, Miku. I know I should have never hoped, he belonged to you after all… I know you may never forgive me but I just wanted to confess all of this to finally end it. I know I have a few months left to live… heck maybe even two months left. I just didn't want to die, knowing I had caused such a grave sin towards you." Rin whispered her eyes looking afar into the distance.

"In fact, I'm quite jealous. There's still a chance for you to take him back with time. I have no time left. I'll never be able to give him the happiness you could give. Given my confession, you might think that it was lucky on my part he left you… ha! It just makes me feel so rotten and evil inside. I'm no angel… I'm the devil in disguise. I have no right to have the same happiness like you." She wept bitterly as I stared at her, my eyes watering as well. She turned to me with that worn look on her face, the face of someone nearing death's door and trying to tie up loose strings before they departed. Could I really hold such a grudge towards her? I loved her too much, like a sister and families may make mistakes against each other but… it's because we're only human right? We cannot expect to make accurate assumptions of what is good and bad. Our circumstance it just the same. I would have done the same too had I been in her shoes. After all, I loved Len just as much as Rin did.

"It's alright to hate me, Miku. People will hate when they had been lied upon. Time cannot heal trust. It is something that once destroyed could never be repaired." She said quietly and I approached her with outstretched arms and wrapped her in a long embrace that took her by surprise.

"I'll be honest… It's difficult for me to learn to forgive you but I don't hate you. Had I been in your shoes I would have done the same, believe me, I had I done it to you hence the reason we were engaged. We both love Len the same way, Rin. Sure I want him to be happy but I'm not created to judge you, I'm only human too. Only God can judge us now. I can only learn to forgive… if time will allow me." I say and I heard her sob as we stayed in that embrace.

I would be lying if I said that I forgave her then and there. Someone important to me had betrayed me… who wouldn't be hurt? I love her too… she was like a sister to me but I know things will never be the same after this day. As I get up to take my leave, the weight of Len's ring in my pocket becomes heavy. So that was what he meant when he said he didn't deserve me…

Even if I wanted to turn a blind eye to it, I couldn't deny the fact that Len had indeed fallen for Rin.

"So she finally told you then." I looked up and saw Rei, his brows creased with worry. How did Rei feel? Knowing he could never win Rin no matter what he did? That her heart belonged to Len. Did it hurt just as much that it did to me when I realized that Len's love for me was half-hearted, that it only took one confession from Rin to make our dreams for a future crumbling down?

"She did." I only say and watch Rei looking at the door to her room.

"I guess you might call this her last confession to the living before she left. I saw that look you were giving me, wondering if I had felt the same way you were feeling now. I'll be honest with you, never will this hurt leave me but what can I do? Even if I did try to win her, I would run out of time… slowly but surely, I'll lose my grasp on her. That alone numbs the pain… the fear of her imminent death, I don't know how I'll be able to go on without her." Rei covers half of his face as he sits down, the agony and fear of death evident in his eyes.

"I won't blame you to hold a grudge but I on the other hand could never hate her. My love for her is enough to blind me from seeing the flaws of her choice to be with my brother."

I watched him turn to me one last time as he too walked into the room. After all, Rin as well had something she wanted to confess to Rei before she left us. I stared on the wedding ring on my hand and close my eyes, the past happiness flooding my mind.

If I could make one wish, I hope that I could go back in time and enjoy those happy times again before all of this.

Sorry doesn't cut it! I know I promised many updates during the summer but my muse refuses to inspire me. I tried everything I could to feel inspired but I guess you could say I have such a very short attention span. I refuse to write a story just for the sake of writing that was why I had to inspire myself one way or another. Luckily it worked when I watched every Vocaloid video I could find about Rin and Len.

I want to thank the people who continue to support and review this story. I know I'm not the best when it comes to updating but your constant support makes me teary-eyed at having such amazing people reading my story! I'm not going to make any promises for fast updates but I will do my best to update when I can. If my muse refuses… well I can always whack them into compliance.

I guess you could say we're nearing the story's end. Just a few more chapters and then Until the Bitter End will finally reach its heart-wrenching ending. To all those supporting this since 2012 Thank you! And for those giving this story a chance thank you so much for your undying support!

REVIEWS, COMMENTS or SUGGESTIONS! Feel free to give me some.

-xXGemini14Xx-