Afterglow - Chapter 41

Rated: T

Brave

Chapter Summary: April asks Raph a question he really isn't prepared to answer.

Sorry about the lack of updating. I'm still trying to figure it out where I want this to go next. Just stick with me with some filler stuff til we get there, kay? xoxo

Raphael took a deep breath; re-reading the last part of the boring magazine article to keep away the persistent sleep currently draining his system. He was adamant to stay awake; desperate to keep himself conscious enough for now even as the clock to his right read that it was well after 1am.

"Dammit." he muttered under his breath as he turned the page.

Perhaps lying down on his bed to read of all things was not his brightest idea.

Raphael would have already been asleep already had it not been for one thing - it was one of the rare occasions April was here spending the night in the lair. But instead of being with him, she was busy helping Donnie with something or another. If he listened, it was probably something to do with anti-mutagen; but truthfully, he didn't comprehend barely anything when Don went off on another tangent to explain it in vast detail.

Helping Donnie on occasion was yet another agreement him and April made long ago.

Raph wasn't too crazy about it but allowed it nonetheless.

It didn't mean the more jealous side of him wasn't weighing in over and over again in his flitting subconscious - the one desperately itching to go physically grab her from the lab and drag her back to his room to cuddle and kiss until they fell asleep together, but he valiantly resisted the great temptation.

After all, he was supposed to be the supportive boyfriend.

The one who was not at all filled with his own self-conscious doubts, needlessly worrying about her leaving him for another. One who allowed her to spend time outside of their relationship either with his brothers or even other male humans such as Casey without worrying obsessively about it.

It still didn't make it easy though - didn't stop those nagging thoughts from burrowing deep into his shell and making him itch like crazy.

Nerves began silently taking over; foot began jittering around when he finally flung the magazine across the room where it hit the wall with a satisfying thwack before crumbling to the floor. A half-smile inched its way up his face before it disappeared just as fast.

…Well, that didn't help one damn bit…

"I'm not even gone three hours and you're already having a temper tantrum?" April's chiding voice rang out from his doorway and he instantly regretted laying this way. If he was the other fucking way, he would have seen her approach - but no…

Lips pursed as he expected more sarcastic quips or poking more fun at him, but she was silent as he sat up to dangle his legs from the edge of his sheets.

"I-I thought I saw a bug." he lied - that typically was easier than admitting he was acting quite childish.

"Mm-hmm." she was not convinced. "If it was, you'd be screaming like a little girl and dancing on top of your bed until someone came in with a can of Raid to kill it."

Raph grumbled, face flushing as he gave her the dirtiest look he could muster.

It was hard when she smiled at him like that though. The barest hints of a smirk inching up her face; lazily leaning up against the doorway as her blue eyes sparkled.

Dammit, why did she have to be so fucking pretty?

"Hey, I got over my fear, remember?" he quickly quipped, mouth settled in a near permanent pout it seemed.

"Not really." April shrugged. "You still flipped out when you saw that little cockroach in my apartment last week." April reminded him, leisurely hanging out by the door and looking around his room.

"Little!? That thing was fucking huge!" Raph complained; cheeks burning as she gave him that sly smirk.

"Didn't give you the right to throw your sai at it - and miss by the way."

"That fucker was fast!" Raph defended; face flushing so hard his cheeks blended in well with his mask.

"Still. My dad was not to happy about the three huge holes in the wall, you know."

"I finally killed it though!"

"Yeah, by throwing my shoe at it!"

"Hey, ain't my fault you left it there - it's the perfect weapon really." Raphael argued and April just rolled her eyes.

"I'll remember that next time we go up against the Foot Clan or the Kraang." April sighed while finally pushing away from the doorway to slowly saunter her way over to him.

"Yeah, you might get a hit in for a change." he quipped and the look that flashed in her eyes had Raphael smirking.

This was definitely worth staying up for…

"Don't tempt me - you may just be my first target." April grumbled but Raphael could hear the teasing tone in her voice.

Raphael chuckled, knowing now for certain it was in all good fun when instead of plopping on the bed next to him, she decided to just lower herself onto his lap. He was certain to immediately grab onto her, pulling her legs to rest atop the bed as she sat sideways on his thighs. So tempted to kiss her now that she was close, he resisted until he knew all was forgiven and she wasn't still a bit salty toward him.

He was only teasing after all - April should be damn used to it by now.

Instead, he was silent waiting for her to speak or make the first move.

It didn't take long.

April was still seemingly refusing to look at him more than a quick sideways glance. Eyes steadfast in looking around his room where the only light shining was a small lamp on his dresser.

"Why did you keep it?" April asked and Raph's brow ridges furrowed.

"Huh?" he asked, genuinely confused by the vast change in subject.

"Spike's tank - why did you keep it?" she clarified.

The question was not one that Raphael was expecting nor ready for at all.

It was strange really - I mean, what girl crawls on your lap and acts all coy and sexy then decides to bring up a monumentally painful part of your life? Swallowing back wanting to retort, get angry (his normal reaction), or give a one word answer before changing the subject, Raphael instead went silent.

Really pondering her question - and exactly his reasoning behind keeping it - because truthfully, he never thought about it much.

Spike-Slash had mutated such a long time ago. He'd made his peace with his once-beloved-pet and all was well between them as of now - so, why didn't he just throw it out? It took up a lot of unnecessary floor space that could be dedicated to other practical things like workout equipment or otherwise. He also highly doubted he'd be getting another pet turtle in fear the same thing would occur - so why had he kept it?

"Sorry." April suddenly spoke, resting her temple against his cool forehead for a moment; gentle as she brushed her warm skin over his smooth scales. Red hair tickling as it flicked over his forehead and cheek bones. "I shouldn't have asked…"

"Nah. It's okay." Raphael quickly replied, returning her affections by nudging her with his snout.

"No. I'm really sorry, Raph." April continued, right arm wrapping around his shoulders in a sideways half-hug. "It's not a good memory - I shouldn't have brought it up." she continued and what he thought in hopes of changing the subject or a sort of apology, she moved her mouth to press on his for a moment.

"Seriously, babe. It's okay." he spoke when she pulled away from the kiss.

The look on her face was highly contemplative as if she was fighting for the next words. There was still the barest hints of curiosity in her stance as Raphael fought for the words before they spilled out.

"...I-I think it's more of a reminder." he answered lowly and April bit her lip as he spoke.

"To be more careful; be more aware of what could and will happen if you're not careful and vigilante to prevent such things. You know, be more prepared in the future - be on constant guard I suppose." he finished with the barest hints of a shrug.

Raphael grew silent for a long time afterward; bright green eyes straying to the unused tank on the floor by the front of his bed. The water long since drained from the small pool, the rocks that lined the bottom, few pieces of coral, and the plastic chest Mikey found were completely dry and dust had settled atop. A memory so distant but a pain still so fresh in too many aspects.

Silently recalling the small turtle he rescued what may as well have been a lifetime ago - before he met Casey and even before he met April.

It was just him, his brothers and father. Growing up in the sewers and one day, coming along the terrapin with an injured leg and curious stare. Carefully nursing the small creature back to health but instead of releasing it back to wherever it came, Raphael kept him.

Named him Spike and that was it.

Raphael recalled everything he told his beloved pet over the years.

Secrets he dared not breathe to another living soul - even recalled telling Spike after meeting April just how pretty she was. His fears of how perhaps she'd end up betraying them; how he eventually fell for her but pushed it aside to protect Donnie's feelings. How during all of his intense words and revealing the inner workings of his heart and soul, the little turtle just gazed up at him and chewed on his lettuce. But for Raph, the presence and non-judgmental attitude was enough.

The night Spike mutated into Slash etched like a hot brand into his mind.

Pain.

Hurt.

Utter betrayal.

So much anger and rage. Sadness and grief filling him when Slash's intentions became to hurt him - even kill him. How unfair it all was that he raised this turtle and the first thing he did when he mutated was intentionally want to hurt his family and him in turn. How he used so many of those secrets Raphael confided to him - against him - his own anger at his brothers and his feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing were taken far more seriously than they should have.

For Slash to think his brothers were holding him back and should be disposed of…

It fucking hurt.

Sure, it all worked out in the end when Slash joined the good side but it still didn't stop those many sleepless nights and tears soaked into his tattered red pillow underneath his head.

That was utter hell he'd rather never revisit…

A sudden hand skirting tenderly over his shoulder and yanking gently at his mask tails had him drawing his attention back to the girl on his lap. Her bright blue eyes filled with worry and manicured brows wrinkling her forehead a bit as she stared at him.

Raphael smiled at her to quickly put her worries at ease.

April slowly smiled back but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she ultimately asked, the hand that wasn't around his shoulder reached up to brush over his cheek.

"Yeah." he answered, hands finally moved from their lax position to wrap around her.

One on her waist, the other on her upper back and pulling her toward him to firmly press his pursed lips upon her cheek. He was pleased when April giggled as he opened his mouth a bit to give wetter kisses with the barest hints of teeth.

"Stop it!" she laughed but he could instantly tell by the tone of her voice she wanted him to do the opposite.

"Make me." he chuckled into her neck, bopping her jaw with his snout as he moved his lips over her sensitive skin.

April suddenly pulled away to look at him. The seriousness in her eyes scared him a bit when she began to speak.

"You're really brave, you know that?" April whispered, "You've been through a lot, Raph - if it was anyone else that had to deal with what you had to - they probably couldn't have dealt with it."

Not exactly sure how to answer that, he just buried his face in her skin; his mouth pressing languid kisses to her neck again. Absolutely despising how the back of his eyes began to burn. His entire focus was just on her; warmth, smell, taste - nothing else.

Raphael did not want to think back to those tumultuous times where he feared Slash would kill his family. To not even fathom what would have happened had he not brought a stop to it…before he knew it, a few tears had leaked out from his eyes but he paid them no heed. Just held his girlfriend closer.

April was all too aware as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and began returning his affection by brushing warm lips over his domed head.

No words were needed as things slowly calmed to a trickle.

Raph's mouth had languidly halted above her pulse point; breath hot as it skirted pleasantly over her neck and upper chest. Chest shivering a bit as his hands held onto her as tight as her dainty body could handle.

"Thanks." Raphael mumbled into her skin even if he wasn't exactly sure what for. He was certain she understood regardless - April was cool like that.

April just nodded in reply; allowing him to relax for a few moments before she began caressing his shoulders and the sensitive areas along his nape until the terrapin left out a soft groan.

"Heh. Don't start something ya ain't willing to finish, O'Neil." Raph chuckled, the sound of it pleasantly raspy against her skin as his fingers began playing with the hem of her shirt.

April was just pleased that he seemed to be feeling better - pushing the regret of asking him in the first place to the back of her mind.

"Well, I was thinking that since you were so patient while waiting tonight -" April started, moving her hands to cup his face and lift it up where she could meet his eyes.

"Yeah?" he interrupted, thick brow ridges wiggling suggestively. She noticed the redness and wetness lining his bright green eyes but she ignored it and allowed her smile to widen.

"My dad's going on a business trip tomorrow so…maybe you can come over..you know, hang out or whatever." she replied smoothly, fingers tracing along the crack on his plastron coyly.

April held back the desire to bite her lip when his typical sexy smirk inched his way up his face.

"Really?" he asked; the hope in his eyes had her laughing beside herself.

"Mm-hmm…if you're good." she pressed her mouth over his.

Raphael chuckled against her lips, finger pushing into the hem of her shorts to caress the smooth skin he found. April shook her head at his actions before pulling away.

"Tomorrow, Raph." she chided before moving off of his lap much to his dismay.

"Aw, c'mon…I'll turn on the music again." he begged and it appeared his pout was back.

"No. I'm tired. Besides, doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder?"

"It's been almost a whole fuckin' month since we had sex - don't give me that nonsense."

April just laughed, pulling the elastic out of her hair and taking off her boots as Raph shot her back a dirty look.

"I waited more than a year. You'll last until tomorrow night." April was quick to remind him as she turned back toward him and approached the bed. Smiling before leaning in for she couldn't help but kiss his pouty lips.

Raph didn't seem to get the memo as he yanked on her waist to bring her closer and intensified their lip-lock.

April broke it and Raph growled.

"Goodnight." she said with a quick smile, crawling into his sheets and patting the cool ones next to her. "So…you planning on joining me?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Raph grumbled while removing his pads and wrappings; flicking off the lamp before making his way over to her.

The bed creaked loudly from the distribution of his weight as he lay facing her. He knew April could not see him but he was quietly scanning over her face and closed eyes; heart still beating a bit frantic in his chest as he looked at her. Swallowing back a lump that clogged his throat, he scooted closer to her. Arms wrapping around her waist as he burrowed his snout into the halo of red hair scattered upon the pillow.

Long moments spent thinking back on all they'd been through even after his incident with Spike/Slash. Her strength displayed throughout it all… A human girl who should have never known the horrors of the Foot Clan and Kraang. The hell of knowing them mutating her father twice and getting her in more deadly situations than should have ever been worth it…yet she stayed. Proving to have greater strength than any human should have been capable of…what many would never been able to handle…

…yet she did…

"You're pretty brave yourself." he whispered into her hair as his eyes slipped closed and sleep pulled him into darkness.