Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Credit goes to their respective owners. All I own is the story plot.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

Until the Bitter End

~LEN~

It was raining on that day.

I didn't bother riding the coach because to be honest, I needed all the time right now to get myself together before I ended up breaking down again from regret and guilt. When I made it to the ward, I was drenched in water and my clothes ragged and torn as I walked past the nurses who eyed me suspiciously. My mind was still swimming from my argument with Rei, all his pent up anger finally laying bare before me. I didn't know, really. I knew nothing of my own brother's suffering and it made me angry at myself, wondering how many more people have I hurt with my decisions and ignorance. Miku… Rei and even Rin.

Was there any way to atone to for them?

"Len?" My head solemnly looked up to see Meiko with Kaito and Piko, looking at me worriedly, wondering why I was in such a state. Although those thoughts might only be reserved to Kaito and Piko because I knew the look Meiko was giving me was one not out of curiosity but… worry and realization. Other than Rei, she was the one who discovered my feelings before even I myself knew of them. So I knew what she was thinking when she saw me.

"Visiting hours are still open… if you want to talk to her." She merely said but I didn't need her to tell me that. Even if she didn't want me to see Rin, I would have forced myself anyways. Just to tell her my response before it's too late.

With Rin, there might never be a next time or a someday.

"Thank you." I replied quickly my eyes looking straight at the door that led to her room. I could feel my throat dry up and my hands shiver at the thought of facing her. It wasn't the nervousness one would get when they feel excited about meeting their loved one. Mine was of regret, of shame, of guilt at not having realized it sooner. To make her suffer this long and ask for her forgiveness and love when she was one her death bed? How pathetic of me.

I tried to steel my body, nonetheless. It wasn't out of pride though, I wanted to gather up whatever strength I could muster to battle this raging war within me that wanted to run away. I love her, right? So why am I being such a coward? Wasn't I ready to accept whatever she would throw at me? My calm mind muddled by these mixed feelings just before I would meet her made me sick of myself. Come on, Len! Be honest to yourself for once. I wasn't just going in there because I was the duke's son. I was going in there as her friend, status and pride are useless in the face of real emotion and if I wanted to atone for my mistakes then I would come to her not as an aristocrat but as her friend… and if possible as…as her…special person as well.

"Rin…" I whispered her name and opened the door. She was looking out the window when I came in, her tired blue orbs staring with melancholy at the rain that poured from outside. I stood there before her with abated breath, taking in her image and searing it into my memory. This was my childhood friend before me, the one I laughed with, cried with, made jokes and spent my whole life with. Long gone were the mirth in her eyes, I took that away because of my ignorance to my own feelings. She was just a shell of the person she used to be and it pained me just watching her, her blonde hair that shimmered like the sun were now dull and lifeless as if time was taking her soul away bit by bit. The moment she turned to me that was when I knew that after all this time-

I really did love her.

Those feelings that I dismissed as a concern and affection for a friend were not really what they were. Was that why it felt so wrong when it was with Miku? I was happy with her and yet there were times as if I felt like something was missing. Rin filled that gap when I watched her walking in the manor, her smiles and laughter that lightened the manor… don't tell me that those were the signs of my feelings for her? Almost like a puzzle that fit so right with me… Why did I only have to realize it now?

"And so you finally come, Len. I knew you'd be the last one to meet me. Makes it funny really when in fairytales, the prince was always the last one to arrive." Rin giggled lightly, but we both knew. We knew fully well the implication behind that sentence. I strode to her slowly, my eyes never leaving her figure as the distance shortened and I was just inches from her. I could see the paleness of her skin in contrast to the nearly dark hospital room. Was sorry even possible to say in such a solemn meeting between us? Was there even any words left to say just to fix everything? I really didn't know anymore, just looking at her…

There was really nothing left I could say to fix it.

"Silence is frightening, Len. You used to say so many things back then. May they be about politics or even the usual banter we did, there was never a time you stopped talking so please…" She trailed off and that when I knew the walls of denial she tried so hard to protect finally broke. Her eyes shimmered with tears at the realization and my body just move on its own as I embraced her in my arms, her skin cool to the touch that it made me shiver. I wish I could share her my warmth, to make up for those time I had been so ignorant of everything, of her, and of how I took time and her life for granted.

"Is there really anything left for me to say, Rin? Is it really alright to say I love you when I broke you? Is it really alright to comfort you when I'm the one who destroyed you? Can I hold you like this and pretend everything will be alright when we know that it's all a big lie! My god, Rin! I took you for granted and yet here I am spilling my heart out to you. Do I even deserve what you are giving me when I know that I was the one who made you like this? If only I was more aware, if only I didn't push you away. Then maybe, even in such a short time… things wouldn't have been so painful for you." I choked back the tears as I embraced her tightly, taking in the coldness of her body and hoped maybe my own warmth could, at the very least, suffice for her. I wouldn't be surprised if she pushed me away, if she slapped me, yelled at me or even wanted me dead. I deserved nothing good from her after what I had done. If there could only be a trade-off with death then I would willingly give up my life just for her. Is that selfishness? Love? Guilt? I didn't know, I fear to know because no matter what I choose it'll only result with everyone hurting.

"I'm scared, Len… So scared to die. I still want to live. To see tomorrow, to see the days roll by while sitting next to you and appreciate them. Even if you didn't love me back I didn't care. If it meant I could still see the same sky as you then it would be alright. Was it because I was too selfish to want a taken man that I was punished? Is it wrong to fall in love? Tell me Len. Why do I get to die! Why is it always me? Tell me." She cried as she hugged me tightly back, her body shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed on my shoulder.

I had no answer to her words. Even I didn't understand why out of all the people in the world it had to be her. To suffer all this time just to die? She lost so many things and yet in the end she still draws the shorter end of the stick. I knew fully well she didn't deserve it, or could it be that this was my punishment? To watch her go with regret and fear all because I had been such a terrible person to her. Was this some sort of karma that would torment me because I was too indecisive and too ignorant to everything around me? But why not me? Why did it have to be Rin who take my blame and not me?

"And yet life is such a cruel thing… to hear you say you love me when I'm finally going to die. Is this a terrible joke god has played on me?" She rambled on, that chuckle of bitterness erupting from her throat.

"Then can I be selfish for once? I'm going to die anyway, right? Then can I be granted at least this one wish?" She whispered and before I could ask her what she meant, she then pulled away and grabbed me by the collar as she crashed her lips to mine. The shock quickly wore off though because I could feel it as I kissed her back, the hunger, the longing of wanting to be this close. She said if it was alright to be selfish then even if it made me look like the bad guy then I would grant it if it'll mean that she would be happy.

And so I kissed her back with the same longing, passion and thirst. My tongue exploring hers, drinking her in like any thirsty man would do. No kiss was just right like hers, no touch was more like hers. She was the one and after all this time, I knew that there was no other person but her. I could feel her hand grip that strands at the back of my hair, my ponytail coming undone in her grip as she kissed me back repeatedly. Those long years of never touching her? Of her touching me? Long gone were the boundaries we put up and here we were baring our love and heart in kisses. When we finally broke off to take in our breaths, I was already laying on her, the hospital sheets a mess as I traced my fingers over her collarbone which made her shiver. Two souls, one broken and one tainted. People would say that love between them was impossible and yet here we were, drinking in each other's presence as if there was no tomorrow.

"I love you…" I whispered, my own voice no longer controlled by my mind. I was too drunk, drunk in her presence to even act rational. We were both selfish and to say such a dangerous word after all this time was wrong. Even if she didn't give me an answer I could no longer care. I was beyond that rational thinking. I tried not to think of her impending death and just treasured this moment. This moment that I will forever hold in my memories.

"I love you too, Len. Yesterday, today, tomorrow and always." She whispered back and as the rain continued to pour down I could feel my heart hammer in my chest at her confession. I didn't have time to say my line because we knew that words alone was already never enough. As her arms wrapped around my neck, I lowered my head and our lips met once again. People say that the rain brings nothing but the feeling of loss and sadness but in this moment as the rain showered from outside, we had finally opened our heart, broken our walls and finally took that leap of faith even if the odds were against us.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow and always… I will love her even until the bitter end.

-Time skip: 60 years later-

"Master. I think it's time we-," I held up my hand to silence the butler who followed me and continued my walk towards the hill, the sun beginning to set. I made it a ritual to go there every day, no matter how important the meeting was, I was willing to be late if it meant I could see her every day. As I neared the vicinity I saw the newly picked flowers swaying in the wind, knowing well that even after so many years, he still came to see her. Even after she told him to move on, in Rei's heart he knew that there was no one else left he could love but her. Clutching the flowers she loved so much in my hand, I carefully placed them next to her and slowly got up, the old age getting to me as I relaxed on the swing that overlooked the sunset.

"You always did love the view here. You always did…" I trail off, my eyesight trying to adjust as I gazed at the ring that glowed even when the sun was no longer able to set it aglow. My withered hands shakily pulled the ring off as I stared at the engravings and smile. I return the ring back to my finger and lazily stare until the sun finally vanished and relished in the memories of her as my eyes slowly closed and I finally drifted into sleep.

"I'll see you soon… Rin."

Epilogue:

Birds chirped in the morning light as I lazily enjoyed the feeling of sunlight on my skin. The wind picked up and played with my hair before I froze when I felt a presence above me. I peeked with one of my eyes and smiled when I saw those familiar blue orbs laughing down at me.

"Rise and shine. You always were a morning person. I didn't think you'd laze around like this." She chuckled and I smirked as I grabbed her by the arm and she yelped as I sent her tumbling next to me, making us both laugh. Our eyes stared at each other, taking in our images into our minds.

"Len…" I could hear the tone in her voice but her eyes betrayed the intention as our gaps shortened and I planted a soft feathered kiss on her lips.

"Hm?" I asked lazily and she just sighed as she cuddled up into my arms, the afternoon sun getting to her too.

"I love you…" She just said before her eyes closed and I could feel her breathing slow as sleep took over. I smiled at her words and kissed her on the forehead earning me a light smile from her.

"I love you too, Rin." I reply and close my eyes, enjoying the afternoon light.

And yes the story finally reaches its bitter end. To all those who supported this thank you. For the support, favorite and even follows. You don't know how much they all meant to me. This journey was long and difficult and yet to see such support ever since 2012... thank you from the bottom of my heart. With the conclusion to the story, this would be the first fanfic I actually finished and so once again thank you for everything! Thank you for joining me in their story even until the bitter end.

-xXGemini14Xx-