A Happy New Year to you all. And apologies for the lack of updates lately. Jumping in with Mr. Hotchner for this one, and it falls in season 4's "Memoriam" episode.
Happy reading =)
"Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them." – John. C. Maxwell
"Where'd Emily go?" Garcia asks as she looks down the hallway impatiently, though it doesn't take a profiler to know that she's not anxious about Emily's return.
"To get coffee."
"Ugh, hopefully not from the cafeteria here. It's terrible." I shrug in reply. "What's taking them so long in there?" she asks as she peers down the hallway again.
I smile at her anxiousness. She's probably more excited and nervous than JJ and Will put together, which in itself seems ridiculous, but that was Garcia for you. "I doubt they'll be much longer," I assure her. "Probably a quick check on vitals and that sort of thing, and some paperwork too, I'd bet."
"Well they're taking their sweet ass time," she grumbles.
"Try to relax, Garcia. This could stretch on for a while."
"I know, but I want to be there for those long hours."
"You know PG, you should really prepare yourself for being kicked out of the room," Emily says with a teasing grin.
"Yes, but at least then I would have been a part of the action!"
"You'd think it's her kid being born," Emily says with a light laugh as she shakes her head.
"By extension, it is. All your children are mine by extension."
"It's true," I say with a smile, remembering the plethora of baby stuff she'd bought for Jack, and the intermittent gifts she's had me bring home for him over the years.
Emily's eyes widen fractionally at my admission, probably surprised by my support of Garcia's stance. "Well, lord help JJ and Will then," she quips.
Garcia shoots Emily an unimpressed look before holding out her hand expectantly.
Emily laughs. "You actually think I'd get you a coffee? You're wired enough as it is."
Garcia's jaw drops and her eyes narrow. "You're on my list, Emily Prentiss," she warns.
"Oooh, I'm so scared," she says before sticking her tongue out at the blonde.
Garcia shoots her one more unimpressed and slightly threatening look before getting up and heading toward JJ's room purposefully, while mumbling something about hacking an email account.
"You shouldn't get on her bad side, you know," I point out, accepting the coffee she'd gotten for me. "She's got way too much power when she's armed with those computers of hers."
"I'm not a fool, Hotch," Emily says with a meaningful look. "Once she sets eyes on that little bundle of joy, she'll have forgotten all about it."
"That's a very risky move," I point out.
She shrugs. "Worst case scenario I buy her one as a pick-me-up after she gets kicked out by JJ."
I raise an eyebrow again. "You think JJ's going to kick her out?"
"You think she's not?" she replies. I tilt my head slightly as I consider it. She's right. Garcia's rambunctiousness can be a bit much sometimes, and if you take into consideration the onslaught of hormones and emotions JJ will no doubt experience, then it's a sure bet that she gets kicked out eventually. Even her patience is bound to wear out eventually.
"Fair point," I concede, before taking a sip from the cup. Thank god for coffee. Our impromptu trip to the hospital had derailed both Emily and my mid-day coffee fix, so as soon as JJ was settled, she'd disappeared to procure some.
"Did she call Will yet? Or has she been too busy dealing with Garcia's hovering?"
"She managed to get a call in to Will. He's on his way here."
"Poor guy's head must be spinning," she comments, leaning back in her chair and stretching her legs out.
"I know mine was when Haley went into labour with Jack," I say fondly, remembering the simultaneous haze and intense focus that had set in. Everything seemed fuzzy, but seemed to move in slow motion so I caught it all.
"Aw," she says with a smile. "What were you like?"
"I hovered."
"Now why does that not surprise me?" she says with a knowing grin.
I arch an eyebrow at her barb. "Are you implying something there, Prentiss?"
"Only that you're a control freak, sir," she replies with a smirk. "God, it must have bothered you something awful that you couldn't do anything."
"Stop it," I say after a moment.
"Stop what?" she asks, feigning innocence, but the growing smirk on her face tells me she knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"Profiling me," I say pointedly.
She grins widely. "Danger of the job."
I fix her with a glare that just makes her laugh.
"It really bugged you, didn't it? Not having any control, I mean."
"Like you wouldn't believe," I say grudgingly after taking another drink from my coffee. "Haley didn't particularly appreciate my efforts to bring a semblance of calm to the situation either."
Prentiss cringes. "Uh-oh. What did you do?"
"Let's just say giving advice to a pregnant woman is generally not a good idea, particularly when she's in active labour."
She winces this time. "Ouch."
"Yeah," I agree ruefully.
"Did she kick you out?" Emily asks, a tinge of amusement in her voice.
"She did, but then immediately demanded I get back in the room."
"Ah, childbirth…the source of so many stereotypes about women."
I can't help the smirk from appearing on my face. "Except they're not really stereotypes if they're true now are they?"
Emily's eyes narrow as she holds my gaze, and her displeasure with my comment is clear. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response."
"You just did," I point out, unable to let it rest. I stamp down the immediate feeling of immaturity and let myself revel in her displeasure. Sometimes you have to take the small victories, after all.
"And to think, I respected you, Hotch."
I arch an eyebrow in amusement before we both break into laughter. It's a welcome change from the normal day-to-day interactions we have, which almost always contain references to serial killers and victims. Some lightness among the seemingly perpetual dark.
"You think you'll ever have kids?" I ask, genuinely curious. Her compassion and fierce protective instincts with the kids we see in our cases makes it easy to assume kids are in the cards for her. But if there's one thing I've learned about Emily Prentiss, it's to never make assumptions. She holds her cards very closely to chest – we've always had that in common – but perhaps the easy going nature of our conversation will loosen that hold.
In an instant her expression shifts, displaying…regret? But as quickly as it had appeared, it fades and she laughs off my question. "I'm pretty sure JJ snagged the last viable donor. Besides…I doubt I could give up coffee," she quips, gesturing to her coffee before taking a long drink.
"You don't actually have to cut out all caffeine, you know," I say. I know it's not a genuine argument from her, but I still feel the need to make sure she's got all the facts. It seems like, for whatever reason, she's given up on the idea of kids being in her future. Maybe it's her dedication to her work, or maybe it really is a case of not being able to find a 'viable donor'. Whatever it turns out to be, I really think she should reconsider – she'd be an excellent parent.
"You don't? Huh. Go figure. In any case, I'm not exactly a spring chicken."
"No comment," I say, choosing to not comment on her self-professed "advanced" age. It's not polite to speak of a lady's age…and I have a feeling she'd very much make me regret it if I did. I've seen her give Morgan a nasty tongue-lashing on occasion, and am not keen to be on the receiving end of one. And it doesn't take a profiler to tell that she'd pointedly brushed off the question. Clearly it's a bit of a sore spot for her. Possibly stemming from her apparently strained relationship with her mother? I let out a breath to rid my head of the beginnings of an analysis. I'd asked her not to profile me, and it wouldn't be fair for me to profile her.
"Wise move, Hotchner," she deadpans, before breaking into a grin.
We both turn and peer down the hallway when we hear Will talking uncharacteristically quickly. I can tell he's a little out of his element by how quickly he's talking. He's usually so calm and laid-back, that his rushed tone gives away how rattled he is.
"Will!" Emily calls out. He looks up immediately and heads straight toward us.
"Where's JJ?" he asks breathlessly and I hold in a grin. I wouldn't be surprised if he ran the whole way here.
"She's all settled in her room, fourth door on your right," I answer. "Don't worry, you haven't missed anything."
"Thanks," he says as he jogs down the hallway.
"Were you that frazzled?" Emily asks as she turns to face me.
"Probably more so," I admit. "I was a nervous wreck. It was almost worse after he was born. The first time I held him I was equally enthralled and terrified I was going to drop him."
She chuckles. "Sounds about right. It's sweet though."
"What's sweet?"
"Picturing you, the tough as nails and emotionally distant Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner, all rattled and nervous."
"Kids do that to you. Just you wait. When you have kids, you'll understand."
Her brow furrows at my use of "when" in place of "if" and she holds my gaze for a moment, as though considering my words. She knows I used it on purpose. She knows it's my way of giving support without coming right out and saying she should have kids. That was one of the positives to working with people who are paid to notice finer details in people and situations – they pick up on your subtle hints.
She opens her mouth, no doubt to brush off my comment, but is interrupted by Will's appearance in the hallway.
"You two don't have to stay," he says. I can tell that seeing JJ had calmed him significantly, but he's still a jittery father-to-be. Just as he should be. "Could take a while…"
"Yeah, we should head back to the office," Emily says with a nod. "Paperwork isn't gonna finish itself."
"When do you ever finish paperwork?" I deadpan, enjoying watching her jaw drop and her eyes narrow at me piercingly.
Will laughs and then expresses his thanks for bringing her to the hospital.
"Don't worry about it," I say, waving off his continued thanks. "We'll get out of your way, now. Congratulations, Will," I say, holding out a hand.
He grasps my hand firmly, giving it a shake. "Thanks."
Emily holds out her arms for a quick hug. "Congratulations. Take care of our girl, okay?"
"She's probably gonna take care o' me," he drawls, his token crooked smile spreading.
"I bet. Have Garcia call us with any updates," she instructs.
"O' course," he promises with a nod.
"Will's such a sweetheart," Emily comments as we make our way to the parking lot.
"He's a good guy," I agree.
"What d'you wanna bet that kid's going to have the both of them wrapped around their little finger?"
"That's a sucker bet," I point out. "Not to mention Garcia is going to be worse. Though I will admit, I'm a little happy to have the focus taken off of Jack."
"Oh, I bet she was a shopping whirlwind when the little man first came around," she says with a smile.
"Like you wouldn't believe. And she and I weren't as close as we are now." Emily's eyebrows jump up briefly at my words. "What?" I ask.
"Just…I know you're the leader of the team and everything, but it's just nice to hear you talking about being close with her," she says after biting her lip for a moment, probably considering whether or not to explain her expression.
I let out a breath. "Make no mistake, this team is important to me."
"I'm not saying it isn't!" she says quickly, trying to clarify her words. "Believe me, it's clear how important the team is to you. I'm just saying you don't verbalize it very often."
I nod and we settle into silence for the rest of the walk to the car. It isn't until we're seated and pulling out of the parking lot that she speaks again. "Can we stop for lunch? I'm starving."
"You have somewhere in mind?" I ask, knowing she definitely does have a particular place in mind. If there's one thing I've learned about her, it's that she's very particular about her food cravings.
"I was thinking Indian food. I have a craving for some tandoori chicken and I know this little place on the way to Quantico."
"Do they have butter chicken?"
She rolls her eyes. "Of course they do."
I shake my head at her exasperated expression. "All right, let's go then."
She grins and proceeds to give me specific directions, eventually guiding to me to what can only be described as a hole in the wall Indian restaurant.
"Don't judge it by how it looks."
"How it looks is that it wouldn't pass a health and safety-"
"I said don't judge," she says somewhat tersely, interrupting me. "These folks know how to cook, all right?"
I hold my hands up and gesture for her to lead the way. "Okay, okay."
"Okay. I admit it. This is pretty good," I say after finishing a bite of my butter chicken.
"Told you not to judge," she says, pointing her fork at me.
"I will never question your culinary choices ever again."
She'd settled in at her desk with her lunch, and I'd headed to my office, but I found that for once my mind wasn't focused on the task at hand. Instead I found my focus drifting to JJ, and so I decided to head down to the bullpen to eat with Prentiss. She'd been a little surprised when I joined her, but was genuinely grateful – the whole office felt a little empty with Agent Todd in a meeting, and Morgan, Rossi, and Reid still in Vegas.
"Good."
"Did you spend any time in India growing up?"
"No, actually."
"Where did you spend the most time?"
"France. My grandfather lived there, and my mother and I spent most of our vacations there visiting him."
"I've never been."
"You should go. Paris is an amazing city, and the Alps are so beautiful."
"Would you ever go back? With all your languages, and your mother's connections, surely you could land a comfortable position there…"
She pulls a face at the mention of her mother's connections. Ah, her fierce independent streak makes itself known yet again. "I'd rather not use mother's connections…the strings attached to them would not be good."
"Ah, I see."
"You've met her, you can imagine why I wouldn't want to stay stuck owing her a favour."
I shrug, choosing to not delve into that keg of dynamite. I get the feeling the two of them have a bit of a strained relationship, no doubt stemming from her stubborn nature.
"So how did you and Haley settle on Jack's name?" she asks after a few moments of silence.
"It wasn't easy. Every name that Haley suggested, all I could think of was-"
"Serial killers with that name," she finishes for me, clearly understanding the predicament.
"Exactly."
"Okay…" she says slowly, "but…Jack. Come on, Hotch."
"What?"
"Jack the Ripper, arguably one of the most famous serial killers of all time…"
"I honestly didn't think of him until after we'd named him."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, I know."
She lets out a light laugh, and I smile. We may be back at the office, but I haven't switched back into Unit Chief mode yet, and frankly I'm enjoying a bit of a break.
"What did you think the first time you saw him?"
"What is with all the questions, Prentiss?"
"Sorry," she says sheepishly, turning her gaze down onto her food as she pushes it around with her fork. "I'm just curious."
"I remember thinking that he was so tiny, and being totally shocked by the fact that I was now responsible for raising a person, that I was responsible for teaching them everything there is to know about life and the world."
"Whoa. That's intense."
"Yeah. It was equally terrifying and exhilarating."
"I can only imagine," she says with a smile before scooping up some rice and mixing it with some sauce. I scan her features carefully, noticing her avoidance of eye contact and a slightly tense posture. I managed to hit a nerve again. Apparently kids are a bit of a sore spot for her. Biological clock ticking too loudly for her liking perhaps? I let out another breath and shake the thoughts from my mind.
I finish up the last few bites of my meal and then decide it's time to tackle the large pile of consults and long call sheet. Time to switch back into Unit Chief mode.
"Thanks for a great lunch, Prentiss. You'll update me if you hear from Garcia?"
"Yeah, of course," she says with a nod, turning to face her computer and pushing aside her container of food. She's picked up on my desire to get back to work, and is saving me the trouble of asking her to do that same.
As I make my way up to my office I realize that I'd learned more about Prentiss and shared more about myself than in the years I've known her. In a way it's surprising that it had taken this long, but really I shouldn't be surprised. She and I are similar in some ways – particularly in how private we are. The fact that she'd opened up a little, and that I'd opened up to her speak volumes about her place on this team. I never imagined she'd fit in, what with the circumstances of her transfer into the team being dubious at best, but she'd proven Gideon, Strauss, and me wrong.
My thoughts drift back to JJ and this time I realize that this job isn't all darkness. This job had brought some wonderful into my life, it had brought JJ and Will together, and had given Reid a place to feel at home. I glance down at Prentiss, who's typing with one hand as she stabs another piece of chicken and brings it to her mouth. This job had brought together a ragtag group of people all searching for a home, and given them a chance to fit in. And now it was the catalyst to bringing a new life into the world. I smile as I realize that for all the headaches this job can cause, sometimes it totally feels worth it.
So...enjoy the peek into Hotch's lighter side? Chuckle at Prentiss winding up Garcia? What did you think about Hotch's observations? Let me know!