Chapter Eighteen
For the better part of an hour Max does everything she can to raise Chloe's spirits. With Chloe's laptop she browses YouTube, searching through silly pet videos, fail compilations, famous scenes from comedy movies, and popular stand-up comedy clips. Combining humor provided by the internet with snuggles and back rubs seems to have some positive effect on Chloe's mood, but it's minimal. Max can't help but feel disheartened when she leaves the room, as if her situation is hopeless. She makes her way down into the garage for a little privacy and tries calling Rachel.
"Hey, Max. How are you all holding up over there?" Rachel is immediately concerned by receiving Max's call.
Max lets out a long sigh, which is telling enough on its own. "I'm trying so hard to cheer Chloe up. She's just so depressed after the funeral. I saw her break down and cry… I heard her apologize. It finally hit her, that she won't have any more chances to make things right at home, she'll never be able to form a positive relationship with David, and her last memory of him is so awful… all because of me!"
"No, Max, it's not all your fault! Death is just part of life. We know that all too well after reading your letter. Listen, you saved me and Chloe, so she's not gonna hate your guts for what happened to David. She'll forgive you, so don't trip about that, OK? Chloe just needs time."
"Time…" Max echoes the word as if it's become her enemy. "I don't have time, Rachel. I might just blink out of existence in seven months! I can't leave here without telling Chloe how deeply I love her and need her in my life… what little of it is left." She can't help but to shed tears as she shares her despair with Rachel. "I saved you both… and all I want in return is to spend the next seven months with Chloe. Is that too much to ask for?"
"Oh, Max…" Rachel begins crying as she tries to come up with words to help Max. "Please don't say that. I refuse to believe you're going to blink out of existence. You deserve so much better…" She takes a shuddering breath. "And I want you two together, too. That's why I broke up with Chloe. But I can't make her say yes to you, Max. What are you asking me to do? How can I help you right now?"
"I need Chloe in a better place." Max rubs the tears out of her eyes with her free hand as she tries to stay focused on what she needs. "She's too depressed, and this house just reminds her of David. If I try to reach out to her heart here I'll be rejected for sure. Where can I take her, Rachel? Where does she go that makes her happy? A place she finds peace, or hope, or anything positive."
After a few moments of consideration and a sniffle Rachel responds. "I've got it. Eat dinner first to get something warm and satisfying in her stomach. Then go to the beach and hike up the trail to the lighthouse. You have to get there in time to watch the sunset. That's the best time and place to escape your troubles in all of Arcadia Bay. That's your best chance, Max."
Max takes a second to imagine it, feeling the warm buzz of hope starting to beat back the despair that was winning the battle over her heart. "That sounds like it could work. Thank you so much, Rachel. You're such a wonderful friend."
"You saved my life, Max. Anything I can do to help you out, I'll do it. Now go… you have like ninety minutes to get to the lighthouse. Call me if you need any more help, OK? I'll be right here."
"I will. Take care, Rach. I'll call you tomorrow morning to let you know how everything goes." Max ends the call and rushes back into the living room.
With newfound vigor and hope that all is not lost, Max hurries toward Joyce and offers her assistance in cooking dinner. It's a little early for dinner but Joyce can feel the sense of urgency in Max and can tell that the girl is up to something. However, she trusts the kind hearted teen to have good intentions and doesn't pry. The two of them prepare dinner as quickly as Max can manage, then she zips upstairs to summon Chloe and tries to be as encouraging as possible to convince her to eat just as quickly. It's difficult, depression always constricting the stomach the most, but Max succeeds well enough to sate Chloe's hunger for the evening.
"Sorry for all the hurry up, I just wanted to make a final request for this trip." Max clasps her hands together as she looks at Chloe with pleading eyes. "Can we please go to the beach now? Maybe hike up to the lighthouse to watch the sunset or something?"
Chloe lifts her head and adopts a knowing smile as she slowly nods. "Now I get it. I was wondering what got into you. Umm… fine, wish granted, Maxladdin, but it's your last one."
"Oh, thank you my blue haired genie! A bit of fresh air and a nice view should do us both good tonight." She pushes herself up and looks to Joyce, feeling guilty for not inviting her to come along, but knowing it would compromise her grand gesture if anyone else was there.
Joyce catches the look and waves her hand dismissively in the air. "It's alright, you girls go on, I'll be fine here. But don't even think about drinkin' and drivin'." She stands to begin stacking the dinner plates and utensils for washing so the teens can make their way out.
Chloe heads to the fridge to pluck a beer out, and when the sound of opening it draws a stern look from her mother she rolls her eyes and holds her keys out toward Max. "No drinking and driving, I got it." She makes her way to the front door to put her black jacket and boots on. "No Mad Max stunts out there… it'd be hella ironic if you crashed on the way to the beach. Mom would not be amused."
"I'll be safe, Joyce. I promise." Max assures the woman, then puts her photography satchel and shoes on so she can head out with Chloe.
The drive to the beach is fairly easy, Max needing little direction to find her way west until the land runs out. Chloe spends the drive drinking her beer and staring out the window, remaining mostly quiet other than offering a few hints on when to turn left or right. By the time Max pulls up to the beach parking lot Chloe has already finished her beer, happily basking in the slight buzz it gave her. When they step out of the pickup truck Max looks to the low sun over the ocean and smiles in relief, seeing she still has time before the sunset.
As the girls casually walk along the soft sand of the beach Max reaches out to hold Chloe's hand, interlacing her fingers to lock the grip and keep the girl close. Chloe doesn't protest or pull away, she just walks side by side with Max toward the hill the lighthouse is on. They step over pieces of driftwood and point out pretty seashells, pieces of jasper and even a few agates resting in the sand. An eastward wind brings in cool, salty air that tugs on the pirate spirits within the girls and gets them talking about sailing the high seas. Soon sand becomes dirt and a slowly rising slope, Max continuing to entertain Chloe with fantastic pirate tales while they make the trek up the trail to the lighthouse. At the top Chloe heads straight for the bench to sit down and enjoy the view, having been there plenty of times before, while Max just stands mesmerized for a minute.
She faces south and looks to her left to see the rows of evergreen trees rise along the rolling hills, and below them the entire town of Arcadia Bay. Everything is starting to turn orange as the sun draws close to the horizon, offering for a wonderful picture of the town. The waves slowly roll into the beach below, their soothing sound a distant hush, barely audible from the hilltop two hundred feet high. Max moves in behind Chloe to take a dynamic picture of her darkened silhouette with the sun in the background of the shot, its bright orange glow turning everything else nearly black. Then she steps behind that bench to admire the westward view, the seemingly endless sea showing such beautiful, intricate patterns within all the waves and ripples reflecting the low, orange sun at them. All the glints of light flicker and sparkle as if the lowering sun is performing a romantic slow dance with the ocean below, carefully lowering into its expansive caress. The pink and peach skies are dotted by small clouds from horizon to shore, each of them offering their own unique contrast of shadow and light as they reflect the colors of the sunset.
"It's… breathtaking." Max says softly as she sits down on the bench by Chloe's left side, snuggling up close and holding her camera out to take a picture of them together.
"Yeah. It's nice up here." Chloe leans in close and rests her temple on Max's head for the picture. "Thanks for recommending this, hippie. It's so you to wanna watch the sunset together after attending a funeral… fucking poetic. But I'm glad we're up here."
"Me too. Just the two of us… together." Max stuffs her camera back into her satchel and pulls her phone and earbuds out. "Hey, I have something I'd like you to listen to."
Chloe adopts a curious look as she accepts the earbuds offered to her and thoroughly rubs them down with her shirt. "You're not supposed to share these, Max. You can get an ear infection. Jeez, I thought you were smart." She smirks and playfully elbows the girl as she puts the earbuds in and waits.
"Oh, but I am smart. I sanitized them earlier." Max responds with a smile as she queues up the song. "I might have been planning this a little. Actually… I've been waiting four years to play this song for you." When she presses play Max raises her gaze to offer Chloe a hopeful smile.
When the music begins playing Chloe's eyes dart around and she makes an awkward face as she tries to figure out what it is. The first lyrics spoken give her the answer she needs and she lets out a light chuckle. "Seriously? You've been waiting four years to play Shania Twain – From This Moment On? This is some really sappy country music, the type of shit my mom listens to. What's up?"
"Tck, just watch the sunset while you listen to the lyrics." Max cuddles into Chloe's left side as she explains. "I realized I had a huge crush on you at thirteen, you know that. So, I wanted to figure out how to tell you. I couldn't ask my parents cause… awkward! So, I asked your mom what the best way is to tell someone you love them for the first time. She said music speaks to the soul, and directed me to that song. I don't know if she realized I was talking about you… Anyway, better late than never. The lyrics still speak true of my feelings for you, Chloe."
Chloe doesn't respond since she's too busy processing the lyrics of the song and remembering her relationship with Max before tragedy struck and life tore them apart. She remembers hearing the song in her childhood, its familiarity helping her to immerse in those young, happier memories. As she listens to all the sweet, loving lyrics directed from Max to her it brings Chloe a soft smile and her eyes begin to shimmer with moisture as she stares at that beautiful sunset, losing herself in wishful thoughts. Max looks on, admiring Chloe with her own dreamy, hopeful eyes.
Oh, wowser, Chloe looks so beautiful. The orange light of the sunset paints her pale face so well, and it makes her eyes sparkle like sapphires. And her expression right now… she has such a look about her, like she's ready to say goodbye to today and welcome the next chapter of her life. It's working… this is it, Max. The moment you've been waiting for. Time to fight for her like dad said. Open up your heart and let everything out. Don't be afraid to get hurt.
Chloe glances over and catches the love drunk look on Max's face, then adopts a worried expression and pulls away a bit as she removes the earbuds. "Um, Max? You look like you're about to ask me to enter a long distance relationship with you for the seventh time."
Max casts a sad look downward, rejected before she's even begun. But, she steels herself and sits up straight to give Chloe a determined look. "I get it, Chloe. You just got out of a really long relationship. Your future plans have been ruined. Your stepdad is dead because of me… I understand you're going through a tough time right now, OK? I totally get you… but I need you to understand me, too. So please, just let me get this out before I lose my nerve."
Chloe falls silent for a moment as she feels the conviction coming from the usually shy, soft spoken and introverted girl. "I thought I did understand you, Max. But… sure, go ahead, let it all out. Lay it on me." She leans back on the bench and lifts her arms to rest them atop the backrest as she watches Max stand.
"You know I love you. I've told you that." Max begins as she moves to stand with the sun at her back. "But I really need you to understand how deeply I love you. You're the ONE, Chloe. You've always been the only one for me. I can't be with anyone else… I know, because I've tried. And my deepest regret is not being strong enough to call you after I made it to Seattle." She scrunches her face up as if she's about to cry, but grips her hands into fists and huffs as she forces herself to stay strong. "But if I fly back to Seattle without fighting for you… if I let you slip through my fingers again…" She gestures toward the cliff behind her. "I'd rather leap off the edge, Chloe! I could never forgive myself if I didn't try."
Chloe frantically pushes off the bench and reaches out to grab hold of Max's hands. "Don't even say that kind of shit, Max! Don't you dare try to kill yourself just because I'm not ready to be with anyone else yet! I just need more time."
Max shakes her head. "I don't have any more time, Chloe. I wasted it all being alone in Seattle, not calling or texting you once. I can't get that time back, and for all I know I only have seven months left before I'm… overwritten by another version of myself." She can't stop the tears from flowing this time, crumpling a little where she stands. "Chloe, please… I don't have time to wait for you to be ready."
As Max falters where she stands Chloe steps forward to wrap her in a tight hug, holding the girl close and keeping her up. "No, Max, that's bullshit! We have our whole lives ahead of us. We'll figure out a way… you won't be overwritten. That can't happen." She knows she's trying to convince herself just as much as Max.
"There's nothing we can do about it, Chloe. Except spend this time together. Portland is like three hours away from here… and from Seattle, too. We can meet every weekend if we wanted to. I'm not unrealistic, Chloe, please… just give us a chance. You're my number one priority now. You're all that matters to me. I'll do whatever it takes to be your girlfriend!"
Chloe leans down to bury her face into Max's hair, feeling her reasons and fears for remaining apart eroding away under the waves of desperate love bombarding her. "Max…" The girl's name is all she can respond with as she wets that red streaked hair with tears.
"Wait… I have something for you." Max slips her hands from around Chloe to reach down and dig into her photography satchel, producing a garment and holding it up.
Chloe pulls out of the hug to collect it, standing before Max as she raises the item between their breasts and looks it over. It's a black skater beanie with a white skull and crossbones on the forehead. To the right is a little red heart pin stuck into the beanie with shiny gold letters that read First Mate.
"I'm so sorry I left Arcadia Bay without you and took so long to return. Life was so empty without you in it. But I'm back now, and I'm never letting the world take me away from you again." Max raises her hands to gently caress Chloe's cheeks as she stares into her love's eyes with all the passion in the world. "I love you with all my heart, Chloe… and you will always be my First Mate."
It's all too much for Chloe's heart to handle. The desperation, the incredible amount of love, the beautiful nostalgia of being Max's First Mate years ago, and thoughts that Max may only have seven months left to live before she's replaced by another are just too much. She begins sobbing, crying harder than she did at the funeral as she wraps her arms around Max to squeeze her once again. "OK! Max, I'll do it!"
Max twists her face in the tight embrace so she can try to see Chloe, speaking softly up toward her ear. "What, Chloe? What will do you?"
"All of it. I'll be your girlfriend… I'll drive to Portland to see you on weekends… I'll move to Seattle after school. If this fucking universe will only give me seven months with you then I'll make them the best seven months ever." Chloe leans back so she can meet Max's gaze, letting the girl see the honest love in her face when she says the words. "I love you, too, Max. You're so smart, and brave, and kind… after everything you've done you deserve to be happy. And if my fucked up self is what makes you happy then I'm all yours. And I mean it this time! No cold feet, second guessing, flighty shit, none of that drama. I'm hella ready to be yours."
Max reaches up to steal Chloe's blue beanie and stuffs it onto her own head, smiling through her tears. "Then put on your new uniform, First Mate. And kiss me like you mean it."
Chloe raises her pirate beanie and dons it for the first time, adjusting it to make sure the skull and crossbones are centered over her forehead. Then she slips her arms around Max's back and pulls her tight, stomachs and breasts pressing together first and lips interlocking second. The passion in those kisses are unmatched by any before, fireworks bursting around their hearts as the girls envelop each other in their love. Max pets her fingertips up and down the back of Chloe's neck while she receives affectionate back rubs, neither girl having any reservations about opening their lips and playing their first game of tongue twister.
After a minute the kissing moves to the bench, Max finding herself sitting sideways on Chloe's lap. Chloe only breaks the kiss to point out the sun, and the two snuggle on the bench as they watch the beautiful orange ball kiss the ocean and slowly sink into it. Having brought no flashlights they decide to walk back down the path right then, rather than waiting until it's truly dark. They hold hands and smile happily all the way back to the pickup truck, where once again Max takes the wheel.
When the girls pull up to Joyce's home they find the woman in the living room watching TV, so they decide to visit with her for a time and share the news. Joyce is a bit surprised at first, because of the timing, but is quick to give the union her blessing and well wishes. Chloe doesn't much care about whether or not she has permission, but both she and Max are happy to share something positive with Joyce on such a hard day for her and put a smile back on the woman's face. After devoting half an hour to Joyce the teens head upstairs to brush and floss, then close themselves into Chloe's room.
Chloe twists around so she's walking toward her bed backwards, seeming unsure of how to proceed. "So, what are you hoping for now? You wanna plan out how we're gonna meet in Portland on weekends, or smoke a bit, or cuddle and watch a movie, or…?"
Max smiles as the last 'or' trails off, nibbling her lower lip as she removes her photography satchel and the blue beanie she stole. "I think it's about time I learned what it means to be a woman. Can you make a woman out of me, Chloe?" She even flutters her eyelashes at her new girlfriend.
Chloe laughs and begins removing her bracelets and necklace. "You're so much more a woman than me… I'm like the least mature person you know. But yes, Noir Angel, when it comes to sex I'm definitely equipped to take care of bidness. You sure you're ready, though? We're talking about the V-card here… you have to be a hundred percent on this." She walks around the bed as she speaks, placing her jewelry down on the bedside table.
Max walks to the foot of the bed and takes a deep breath, then answers by slowly stripping down to her bra and panties. She tries to keep her gaze locked on Chloe all the while, but can't help feel that twinge of uncertainly when she reaches up to unclasp her bra. "I… I'm a hundred percent about it, Chloe. I just don't know what to do."
Chloe smirks as she pulls her own clothes off. "Oh, you push the clasp things together and it comes undone."
"Tck, you jerk! I know how to take my bra off! I mean… you know what I mean!" Max growls playfully, removing her bra and throwing it at Chloe.
The reaction is priceless, Chloe laughing aloud as she walks over to her music player to turn some tunes on. "First step is to create some background noise. Especially since my mom is downstairs… we don't want her to hear us, that would be hella awkward." She turns around and reaches out to gently push her hands into Max to send the girl down into the seated position. "Just lie back and relax, and if anything doesn't feel right just say so and we'll stop to figure it out."
Max licks her lips and nods as she scoots back on the bed to find a pillow to rest her head on, the girl cuddling herself to stay warm as she lies in just her panties.
Chloe wiggles out of everything to stand totally bare before Max, then slowly crawls into bed and toward her girlfriend. "Permission to board, Captain?"
Max smiles and blushes, but she nods encouragingly. "Permission granted, First Mate."
Chloe begins working her magic immediately, proving her experience from the get go. What she can do to a girl with her lips and fingers is able to whittle down anyone's resolve, but the lucky virgin is totally floored. Max doesn't really remember when her panties come off, or how few minutes it takes to send her shivering and quaking through her first climax, but she knows by the look on Chloe's face afterward that it's nowhere near over. Chloe begins anew, starting slowly and gently to warm Max up again and guiding the virgin's hands so she'll know how and where to reciprocate while she's receiving all the intimate attention. The warmth and passion of Chloe's lovemaking melts Max's world away, everything outside that bedroom fading into obscurity as her mind only knows Chloe and what she's doing. Once mesmerized in full by Chloe's soft, warm body, her delightful coos and hums of pleasure, her enticing scent and flavor, it doesn't take much convincing for Max to OK the inclusion of toys. Once involved, and in Chloe's capable hands, Max needs to muffle herself with a pillow. At no point does anything not feel right, so with no objection Chloe continues to please Max until the teen can handle no more. Exhausted yet totally satisfied, Max falls asleep in Chloe's arms feeling like she's finally whole.