Dear Professor McGonagall,
I will not be attending Hogwarts. I would rather choke on a still-beating heart. There is nothing there I need, nothing that I could wish to learn, and no one to meet there that won't be a pureblood prejudging jerk or a walking-in-blind muggleborn.
They are both below my standing, and I am fair above school learning… Should you need a Professor a few years from now, though, I will be happy to consider your request… for a price..
Now if you will excuse me, me and my father have a few.. Debts to collect.
~ Prince Conner Crowley, AKA 'Harry Potter'
Son of Furgus Crowley, King of the crossroads.